Qian'er

My dear. I don't know why, I can't sleep today, as if something can't seem to be put down, and I'm always stuck in my heart.

I was stuffy, my throat was hoarse, but I couldn't hold it. Alas, it looks like I'm having insomnia.

In fact, when I fall asleep, I also have some inexplicable dreams, and it's okay if I can't sleep.

It's April 6, 2005, and it's 4:45 a.m.

I remember very well that it was five days ago that Professor Night dug up Lu Yu's mummy. Two days ago, I was transferred to his research institute by my boss, Huangfu Samsung, to do so-called assistance work.

It's been eight hours, and I don't want to watch the downloaded movie, I don't want to read comics, I don't want to do anything. It's just lying in front of the computer and idle.

Think about it carefully, being idle is also idle, just write a letter. Hopefully, after writing it, you can get the same effect as counting a thousand sheep.

But what to write about? Hands on the keyboard, a little overwhelmed for the first time.

It was like a lump of paste flowing in my head, and I couldn't put it into words. I don't know if I feel it, or if I feel it, but I don't care. Between us, it seems to be getting more and more stiff.

Maybe that's just how I feel. Although I have always summarized all this as anxiety and emotional instability due to work.

People often have these negative emotions when they go downhill. Whether it's as a boyfriend or a half-baked psychology enthusiast, I have to warn that having these negative emotions will make you more irritable.

If you really feel upset, call me, or stand by the windowsill, open the window, and take three deep breaths. That should be a little better. After all, it is also my obligation to listen to complaints.

I'm so hungry, I've just searched this house, but I haven't found anything to eat immediately, and I'm very depressed.

Forget it, be hungry, it's better to faint with hunger, otherwise if I lose sleep again, I'll really consider taking a stick and knocking myself unconscious.

Lately I've been thinking, I'm trying to think, I'm trying my best to think, is the current state between us a period of stability or a period of danger? In the end, I also gave up thinking about it again, I was afraid of the answer.

Sometimes, I think it's funny, because I can be very calm and calm with whoever I am dealing with, but if everything happens to me, I can't keep my mind in the water...... Not only is it easy to get angry, but it also becomes very childish.

As I know, I really love it, but no matter how much I propose, I always don't say yes.

And what can I do? Perhaps, nothing can be done.

After all, I'll admit, I've always been very childish and a little rough. Always taking care of me. Although I was trying, it seemed that there was still a long way to go, and suddenly I felt a little tired.

When I was hungry and my mind was not clear, I recalled all the things in the past few years by the way. I'm a little confused, or rather, I can't guess. There was a thick fog in front of me, and I couldn't see the future.

Will we still love each other as much as we do now? Will you continue to love me for me, who has little merit? Is it true that there will always be stability between us?

Actually, I'm a very easy person to satisfy. It's hard to get angry, and it's often like it's very powerful at first, but before it becomes a typhoon, it's often blown out into the sea and doesn't pose a threat. Actually, it's very simple to make me happy, as long as I see it and smile. Otherwise, if you suddenly say that you love me, all my anger will disappear.

Hmmm—that's a bit of a stretch.

Forget it, don't write it, I'm really starving to death, just think I'm talking nonsense when I'm hungry and faint.

〈PS I can't really help with the work, but I believe that if we work together, we will get better. Maybe I can't really help, but at least I won't be holding back. 〉

Your rambling Zhang Ke

Zhao Qian'er sat on the sofa in the room, slowly looking at the letters that Zhang Ke had written to herself over the years, and couldn't tell what she felt in her heart.

There are bits and pieces of her and the people she loves the most in the letter, and this little by little bit every day has accumulated into the two of them now.

Now, she is Zhang Ke's wife. Although the wedding has not yet taken place, she can wait, and when he wakes up, she has patience.

But that bastard, is he really sorry for himself? There was a book full of a woman's name.

When she thought of this, she wanted to smash things. His eyes were on his husband's small apartment, and he slowly glanced at it, but finally sighed. Everything here stored the memories of the two of them, and she was reluctant to break any small items.

Women, especially women like themselves, are really too emotional!

Zhao Qian'er held back her crying, tried her best to form a circle of expressions similar to a smile on her face, and continued to look through the letters in her hand.

There is a letter below from last year, a year only, how does it feel as if a century has passed?

Qian'er

My dear, by the time this letter arrived, it should have been several days since the birthday.

I don't wish a happy birthday anymore, I believe that the day before my birthday had seen the surprise mystery gift I had given me, if not for the pigeon. 〈laughs〉

Hey, it's not serious, it's better to make small talk. Speaking of which, I've been sent by the deputy superintendent's bastard old virgin to the westernmost part of the Netherlands, a small city called Midbuk, for several weeks.

Really want to.

Midbuc faces the sea on three sides, and the buildings on the street are very French. It's actually quite convenient to live here. Incidentally, there are many so-called romances that girls often bite into, and this is indeed a beautiful town.

It's just that the weather is always fickle, like the accent of men in skirts and earrings, don't expect to spit out some decent words from their mouths.

I don't know how long I'm going to stay here, so I rented a house. My landlord is a funny little old man. He's a typical thin man, ha, the kind of guy in Holland, as little as his hair.

"Midbuk is a quiet place, and I love it." I said this to the landlord when he first came. He nodded happily and said in rotten English, "Ya, hereissogood, ineverinhere!" "Yes! It's nice and I never want anything to break its tranquility. 〉

Yes, I don't want anything bad to happen here, after all, there are very few places in this world that are so idyllic. This? Are you doing okay now?

Every evening after work, I would go to the beach to watch the sunset. I love to sit on the beach and watch the sun go up. Then I played the flute and became intoxicated with the tides.

Flutes, waves and dim sunsets......

My ears seem to hear the words, "Toast to the east wind, and be calm." Weeping Yang Zimo Luoyang City is always hand in hand at that time, swimming all over the Fang Cong. If you gather and disperse in a hurry, this hatred is endless. This year's flowers are better than last year's red, but unfortunately next year's flowers are better, who do you know with? ”

For some reason, this Ouyang Xiu's "Waves and Sands" will accompany it and often appear in my dreams.

Whenever I read this poem, I would always smile lightly at me and add a sentence, "This year's flowers are better than last year's red, don't pass this year, who are you with?"

Without time, it was really hard to get through, day after day, I continued to live so hard, like a walking corpse.

Passers-by walking on the beach, leisurely and constantly walking in front of me. They smiled at me, and some applauded the sound of my silent flute.

I'm living like this. Life, study, everything seems so perfect, but there is always something missing in the heart......

It wasn't until that day that I realized what I was missing......

That day, too, in the evening, was still by the sea. I played the flute, and after a few songs, I realized that there was a figure next to me. It was a woman of almost thirty years old, quite beautiful, but she was already crying to tears.

"What a beautiful tune!" She said to me, "Are you a countryman?" ”

I nodded.

"I'm American." She paused, then said, "How long have you been here?" ”

"It's been almost a month. This? ”

"It's been more than four years. Alas, do you work here? ”

"Yes."

"What job?"

"Tea business."

She smiled and said, "The tea business in Europe is not good. ”

"Yes." I wiped my flute and asked, "Well, why did you come to Holland?" ”

"I have two children." She pulled out a photograph and handed it to me, and pointed to a boy about twelve or thirteen years old next to her and said, "Look, it looks like you!" ”

"I'm lovely! Where are they? Netherlands? "Make no mistake, I'm in my twenties, how can I be like me!

She suddenly started crying again, sobbing nervously and saying "They're all in the United States." I'm divorced,! Those guys even said that I didn't have the ability to raise them.

"I went to ******, and in a fit of rage, I traveled to Europe and ended up staying here. I didn't expect to live for four years. I miss them, really, I miss them! ”

"I'm sorry......" I didn't know how to comfort her.

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