Chapter 057: The Past

Walking out of the door after dinner, Chen Jun was already waiting at the door, driving the Range Rover. He seems to be fond of low-key cars, and he rarely drives the rest of his other cars that look stylish. Maybe it's not that the old man of his family makes him less ostentatious, but that this guy was originally a low-key person.

Along the way, neither of them spoke. Xu Er didn't say where to go, and Dong Xiaokui didn't ask. The car went all the way to the city. At first, the road was lined with wooded fields, but gradually it became brightly lit. The car was entered into the city center.

Finally, I stopped under a building, someone came to open the door, and a dozen or so people were waiting. One of them whispered, "Little." ”

Xu Er nodded and led Dong Xiaokui into the elevator. It was a special elevator, and she thought things were a little weird, but she didn't ask. The vertigo caused by the elevator made her lean back against the elevator wall.

Soon, the elevator opened, and it was a deserted hallway. There were still two people at the door, dressed in the same outfit as the people downstairs.

Xu Er walked forward with Dong Xiaokui as if no one was around, and then opened the door at the end of the corridor. When I entered the door and changed my shoes, I found that this was a residence, although it was not the luxury of showing off wealth, but for many ordinary people, it was already considered luxury, let alone in this area. This place, again, is at the top of the building.

Xu Er changed his shoes, stood by the window, and beckoned Dong Xiaokui: "Come here." ”

Dong Xiaokui stood over, and in the distance was the brilliant lights, and the faint landmark buildings could be seen. It's a great place for sightseeing.

"I thought you liked the idyllic scenery and quiet life, but I didn't expect you to like it here." Dong Xiaokui looked at the city crawling at his feet, and those winding roads were like flowing rivers.

"I work around here, and sometimes when I'm tired, I rest here." He said, and then asked, "Don't you think that overlooking the city like this, the window is bustling and bustling, and the lights are brilliant, but everything is quiet, and it is also a kind of tranquility?" ”

Dong Xiaokui was silent, stood for a while, Xu Er took his pajamas from the closet and gave them to her, and said, "Go wash and sleep." ”

She has been very tired because of her mother's affairs in the past few days, and she also nodded, just taking a bath. When I came out of the shower, I saw Xu Er sitting by the window, looking out the window and smoking. Outside the window is the brilliant prosperity, and his back looks lonely and lonely in front of the huge prosperity. Dong Xiaokui stood in place, reluctant to look away.

But he put the cigarette out in the ashtray, and without looking back, he said, "Come here." ”

She walked over and stood beside him, also looking out the window. Suddenly, he asked, "What are you bringing me here for?" ”

He didn't speak, just sat on the couch. After a while, he said, "Zixiu and I are childhood sweethearts." ”

Dong Xiaokui was stunned by these words, he brought her here to tell her the story about him and Chen Zixiu? Listening to the tone of that young lady that day, Chen Zixiu and Ning Yuan's room were all taboos for him. Therefore, she judged that this was a wound in Xu Er's heart, so she secretly told herself: No matter what the outcome is in the future, don't touch it, don't evoke the injury of his memories.

However, at this moment, he was going to take the initiative to say it to her. She was slightly flustered, and suddenly turned away, trying to cover his mouth and not listen to the hurt in his heart. Because sharing something that is secret in someone else's heart, whether it's sadness or joy, or a secret that's hard to tell, means that person trusts you, but it also means that you have to take responsibility. And at present, she doesn't want to take responsibility for him, even these days, they seem to be like family, like an old husband and wife.

However, she handed her hand slightly, hesitated for a moment, and withdrew it. Because, she suddenly thought: Actually, he needs to be told once. Those feelings of sadness, guilt, or other feelings have been suppressed in his heart until they become wounds and become a rotten emotion. As a result, his whole person exuded a kind of loneliness and loneliness.

After getting along for so long, I also know that this man is also a stubborn guy, doing something almost stubborn, and now he is finally willing to say it to her, then let him say it. In the past, the people who met him told him that he could still help bear and help explain. How much more is he? Even if she is a stranger to the end of the world in the future, she has ever walked into his heart.

So, she stood there quietly, waiting for him to speak. This time, it didn't take long for him to ask: "Do you remember the last time Dai Yuqing's birthday party?" At that time, among the people who ridiculed you, there was a person named Chen Li. ”

Dong Xiaokui nodded and said, "Remember, that woman, you also taught her to be worthy of her family's temperament and not to discredit the family." ”

"That's Zixiu's favorite little cousin. Before that party, when I met her, she was still in elementary school, and later, because I was abroad, I was running around again, and I never saw her again. What's more, since Zixiu left, I rarely went to Chen's house. Xu Er spoke slowly, although his tone was a little undulating, losing his usual calmness, but it was much better than the last time.

Dong Xiaokui didn't say anything, just sighed, pulled a stool and sat down on the side, looking at the brilliant lights outside the window, his heart was empty.

"Our Xu family and the Chen family have been friends since the Ming Dynasty. It's always been a common advance. Therefore, the children of both families are almost all playmates. Me and Zixiu too. She was three years older than me. At that time, we lived in a compound, and my grandfather was very strict with me, so I had to read a lot of classics every day, do a lot of training, rarely had time to go out to play, and was often unhappy, and hardly spoke. Every time Zixiu came back, he always told me about those interesting things, or caught some dragonflies and the like to show me. Everything she thinks is interesting, share it with me. When I don't feel like practicing, practice with me. For example, calligraphy, at the beginning, I only wrote Wei Bei, because I was irritable and didn't want to write, she followed the practice of European style on the side, and didn't go out to play. Later, we exchanged words and practiced with one hand. Therefore, I am in the hand of the European body, the right hand Wei Bei, and she is the left hand Wei Bei, the right hand of the European body. Xu Er seems to be immersed in memories, slowly telling the past time.

Dong Xiaokui sat on the stool, and her heart was slowly hollowed out. Although before, she said to Miss Xiu, "The past is just memories, and I am involved in his present and future", but at this moment, listening to him talk about them, she still has an element of envy, jealousy and hatred, and she thinks: Why is the person who is by his side not herself.

Xu Er also paused for a while, and took another cigarette, but he didn't light it, and the matchbox rotated repeatedly in his hand. He continued: "Soon after, I went abroad and studied abroad, but much freer. With Ye San, they were over there and played everywhere. In the summer of fifteen, Zixiu came to see me, and I saw her again. We usually call Sister Zixiu, she stayed by my side for a long time and was very kind to me. I have a very bad temper and get angry at every turn. You don't know, do you? ”

Xu Er suddenly asked. Dong Xiaokui said "um", but he didn't agree. Because she immediately said, "How do you not know that you have a bad temper?" Outsiders only say that they are a little cold, and their temperament is as indifferent as water. Hmph, but I don't know how much oppression and humiliation I have suffered. ”

"Now it's a bitter hatred. You don't know how lucky you are, if you meet me when you are young, you can't help but grit your teeth with hatred, and intuitively feel that life is hopeless? Xu Er asked rhetorically, in a somewhat joking tone.

This man can still make fun of her, and it seems that the mood is not as bad as imagined. Dong Xiaokui secretly breathed a sigh of relief, and also said half-jokingly: "Could it be that Xu Ershao is the legendary Demon King of the Mixed World?" ”

Xu Er sighed and said: "My son is personable, but he has high requirements for others and himself, and there are so many fools in this world. It's just that at that time, I didn't know how to look at things from the other side's point of view. Young and frivolous, he rarely cares about the feelings of the people around him. Tell me, how many things you've done to make me angry, and you can stay here and talk to me. It would have been impossible before. ”

"Then I'll be grateful to Dade." Dong Xiaokui pouted.

Xu Er chuckled lightly and continued: "At that time, I was really young and frivolous, and I rarely cared about the feelings of the people around me. I never thought about what I would lose, I just wanted to be happy. ”

Dong Xiaokui was a little puzzled, and couldn't help but say: "If you are the heir chosen by the family, how can you let you just want to be happy, deceitful guy." ”

"Stupid, because it is, I know the burden on my shoulders and the mission I will shoulder in the future. When you are young, when you can be happy, you just want to be happy. Therefore, many of these practices are not absurd when they are thought about now, but they should not be. Xu Er said, it was his usual laughter again, and the smile made people sad.

Dong Xiaokui didn't feel good in his heart, but he felt more and more sorry for him, and even more envious of Chen Zixiu, who could accompany him through this irritable youth and participate in his most rebellious life. It would have been nice if it had been him by his side at that time. She thought stupidly.

"At that time, Ye San and Dai Yuanqing couldn't stand my temper. Only Zixiu endured it silently, and when I calmed down, I came to persuade again. But I often lose my temper with her, and I don't like her to lecture me. Even if I knew in my heart that she was right, it was annoying her. You just don't know how ridiculous men are when they're young. Xu Er's tone was almost self-deprecating.

This proud man actually spoke in such a tone, and she was distressed, so she comforted: "Who told you that only men are funny when they are young?" It's the same with women. Everyone has a rebellious youth. I have that too. Do you think I was as quiet as I am today when I was younger? It's also very rebellious. At that time, my father died, and my mother missed my father and was immersed in memories all day long. Rarely care about me and my brother. And there were many people who bullied orphans and widows in that town. I've been doing a lot of things like knives and fights, and I'm an outlaw. In school, if anyone deliberately provokes me, they will all be beaten back, and my strength is not as good as others, but I am ruthless. Those who are not afraid of death are ruthless, and those who seek death are ruthless. Other parents came to the door, the teacher came to the door, my mother beat me, and punished me for kneeling in front of my father's portrait. Ask me if I'm wrong, I know that I shouldn't be so extreme, but I just don't speak, and I keep twisting with my mother. Actually, it seems that it is really stupid now. Let yourself feel uncomfortable, and let the people who care about you feel uncomfortable. ”

As she spoke, she smiled at him, remembering those scarred youths, and there was sadness in her smile. Xu Er suddenly reached out and hugged her, but didn't say anything. Just let her lean into his arms. After a long time, he said, "It's all over." ”

"Well, it's all gone. When I looked back that night, I sighed that if I had been at the beginning, I was even more glad that I could have grown so well after experiencing those painful ups and downs. So, it's fun too. Dong Xiaokui leaned on his chest and said with a smile, then raised his head, looked at him, and said, "Don't you know how good you are now?" For the people around you, you are a towering presence like a mountain. For people and things, see the overall situation, atmosphere, and handle it properly. Well, the youthful years that always go through are actually a gift. ”

Xu Er lowered her eyes and looked at Dong Xiaokui, she smiled slightly, wanting to bow her head. He held her head, lowered his head and kissed her lips, and he was also tossing and turning inch by inch. After a long kiss, he slightly moved away from her lips. She took advantage of the situation and lowered her head, leaning only on his chest, while her own heart was beating chaotically.

He didn't move, but just hugged her like that, and whispered, "You will persuade me." It's just that I failed Zixiu in the end, because of the rebellious, willful and selfish when I was young. ”

"What the hell is wrong with you and her?" Dong Xiaokui finally asked, but he resolutely didn't ask before, waiting for him to say. She thought: if he speaks, she listens; If he didn't say it, she wouldn't ask for the rest of her life, no matter what kind of relationship it was in the future. But today, he seems to be trying to tell her all the secrets and pain in his heart, which is the greatest trust in her. She couldn't let this proud man toss awkwardly on his own.

"At that time, she treated me very well. I am really Ye San's so-called 'riding a horse leaning on the bridge, full of red sleeves', a group of little girls calling my little son. The surroundings are full of drunken dreams and death, where will I look back to see her. When I was older and returned to China, it was arranged by my family, and there was a lot of training, so I didn't have time for myself at all. At that time, she was alone abroad, but she often called to care about me, but I always said that I was okay and hung up the phone in a hurry. I never took the initiative to call her, and I never cared about whether she was happy or healthy. I was not in good health, I was in a bad mood, but she could hear it in my voice, and I ——, never heard her, not at all. Xu Er said, and later, his tone was full of self-blame.

Dong Xiaokui was distressed, and immediately hugged him, but he was speechless, he just wished that time would be reversed, he could grasp Chen Zixiu well, and he would not be so sad today.

It seems that he really loves her very much. Otherwise, Chen Zixiu would not have been entrenched in his heart for so long. Otherwise, he wouldn't have set up a room like that in Ning Yuan because of her words; Otherwise, Chen Zixiu would not have become a taboo for him, and no one would mention it.

He really loves her. Dong Xiaokui couldn't help hugging him tightly, afraid that today would pass, and as soon as he turned around, he was a light year away from himself.

Xu Er didn't speak, but Dong Xiaokui spoke, although there were thousands of reluctances in his heart, he still said: "The past can't be chased, and it's useless to blame yourself." Now you know. If you are thinking like this, don't waste time again. I went to tell her and fought for it back. From now on, the mountains and rivers are long, and the happiness of raising the case and eyebrows is cherished. ”

This was to persuade him to go to another woman. Dong Xiaokui felt that even if he didn't expect that he was the one who could let him only look at her scenery, he still had some inertial sadness and a little melancholy. Because he was afraid that he would suddenly really go to Chen Zixiu, from then on, he refused to give her a look. On the other hand, he hopes that he, who bears the burden of the family, can have the person he wants to accompany him for a lifetime.

He smiled softly, a little helplessly, and said, "Even if I wanted to, it was impossible." I don't know how to cherish that day, I only know how to be willful, how can I have a way to find and repent now. ”

This man is really not ordinary awkward and stubborn. Dong Xiaokui frowned, and was about to criticize him for saying something wrong, and further violated his heart to encourage him to win over Chen Zixiu. But I heard Xu Er say: "To protect the interests of the family, it is necessary to be the right person." At that time, the eldest brother's marriage partner was Zixiu. ”

"Huh?" Dong Xiaokui was taken aback, could it be that Chen Zixiu is now his sister-in-law, he wanted to ask but didn't dare to ask, just waiting for him to say. Xu Er said: "At that time, Zixiu, who had always been very quiet, was resolutely opposed, and even my eldest brother felt strange, and constantly checked what made her dissatisfied. She came to me and said she liked me. I didn't say a word and watched her turn away. A month later, she married herself, at a wedding in a prestigious church abroad, where the groom was her senior. Only emailed me to simply say that she was married and asked me to congratulate her. She didn't even give me the slightest time to think about it. ”

Xu Er said this, holding Dong Xiaokui and lying on her shoulder. Dong Xiaokui pursed her lips, her nose was sour, patted his back, and whispered: "The first time a woman's mind turns, her mind must be so intense. That's a mistake, and it's not just your responsibility, and you don't have to blame yourself. Now, if there's still a possibility, don't miss it. Bless her if she's happy. ”

Xu Er didn't speak, and it took a long time to say: "She divorced not long after she got married." ”

Dong Xiaokui's heart tightened, damn, this is really a tangled story. How could this man make things so complicated. She is a person who can bear the entanglement, and she can't help but can't stand it, and said: "Then since you read it, you go to her and let her know this." ”

"Impossible." Xu Er whispered.

"What is not possible? Anything is possible. Dong Xiaokui said loudly, just thinking that he can be well, don't be so entangled. She would rather this man be the cold and ruthless Xu Er when they first met, rather than him be so sad.

He lowered his eyes and whispered a sentence: "Life and death are boundless, and death is not something that anyone can swim through." ”

This sentence choked Dong Xiaokui there and didn't say a word. It turned out that what he was thinking in his heart was long gone. She didn't know how to comfort him. The death of someone you care about is the saddest thing.

She hesitated for a moment, stood on tiptoe and hugged him, just hugging, thinking in her heart: Don't be a bloody plot, this Chen Zixiu is martyred for him. So, she hesitated for a while and asked, "She, how did she go?" ”

"Difficult birth, seven years ago, in Hong Kong." He whispered.

Dong Xiaokui's heart was empty all of a sudden. I only feel that the defeat is like a mountain, for seven years, what he thinks about is this woman, and he can still think of this woman for seven years, looking at this, he will still remember her, keep it in his heart, and let it go.

He is like this, so that people can let it go. The man who was already full of loneliness, now this paragraph, let her only sigh in her heart, just regret: just now, I really shouldn't have let him say this paragraph.

The two were silent for a while, hugging each other, outside the window was the brilliant prosperity, and in their ears was silence. Even when the phone rang sharply, they were still holding it, and no one moved. ......

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