Chapter 061 Sovereignty Consciousness

Dong Xiaokui was a little drunk, and her mind was a little unclear, so she let Xu Er grab her shoulders and shake, she felt that he was also shaking, and his facial features were a little blurry.

"You say, what can I do?" Xu Er is like a stubborn child.

Dong Xiaokui thought for a while, and then remembered that what he said was that he was very happy to see Chen Zixiu. If this kind of thing were her, she wouldn't know what to do. Therefore, she coughed, but grabbed Xu Er's shoulder and said loudly: "No matter, in short, you are stupid, very stupid, very stupid." I doubt if you are the Xu Er I know. ”

She said, reaching for his hair. Xu Er was not angry, but just let her go wild.

Seeing that he didn't react, Dong Xiaokui also felt bored, pinched his shoulders, sat back on the sofa, felt that the sofa was uncomfortable, and slid down on the floor again, supporting his body with one hand and taking the wine with the other.

"What about Xu Er you know?" Xu Er asked suddenly, and the whole person calmed down, not as excited as before.

Dong Xiaokui shook the empty wine bottle, thought about it with a few leans on the case, and said: "Xu Er, I know, is high, looks at people coldly, doesn't care about people, and pretends to be forced. Moreover, he has to control everything by himself, he must get what he wants, he has a bad temper and is cautious. Where will it be the one who will give up his lover? ”

When Xu Er heard this, he smiled, as if he was interested all of a sudden, and moved from the sofa to the carpet, and asked in a low voice, "Do you really think so?" ”

Dong Xiaokui raised his eyes to look at him, very defensive. Even if she is dizzy now, she still knows that this man is stingy, he is not happy, and he will definitely retaliate elsewhere and come back, and you will regret offending him.

But Xu Er in front of him had a soft expression, like a quiet gray-purple sky after dusk, with a kind of indifferent calmness.

That's not right. Dong Xiaokui frowned, always feeling that something was wrong, but she was dizzy and couldn't think of it. She patted her forehead and said, "Ah, yes." This is the Xu Er I know, and you are not allowed to retaliate. You asked me to say it yourself. ”

"Don't worry, I'm not that stingy." Xu Er changed his posture and leaned lazily on the sofa, his tone lazy.

"Well, gentleman's word." Dong Xiaokui finally figured out this sentence.

Xu Er didn't speak, still leaning there. Dong Xiaokui got up and staggered to the wine cabinet, where he rummaged for a while, and found a pile of wine, some liquor, and the kind of wine without a brand, but he didn't see plum wine.

She leaned against the wine cabinet in a little frustration, like a child who had not been given a toy, and her face was very hot, so she put her face on the cold wine cabinet. The head was chaotic, like snow flying. The fragmented fragments are all Xu Er's narrative just now. She kept thinking of those scenes, all of them were him and Chen Zixiu.

He must have loved her very much. Thinking of this, she felt sad in her heart, sticking to the wine cabinet and flattening her mouth, as if she wanted to cry, but she didn't cry after all. Chen Zixiu was like a fish in her throat for her.

What kind of woman is that? Xu Er said that she is a famous lady, her gestures are extremely classical, very quiet and polite, and she will never be impetuous. When I saw her, all my anger was subsided. She is always smiling and good-natured and accommodating to all people.

In his eyes, Chen Zixiu is the most perfect existence. That's the kind of woman he wants. If Chen Zixiu still has a face like a flower. Then, it's perfect. And look at yourself-

Dong Xiaokui couldn't help curling up next to the wine cabinet, and suddenly hated herself. Hates his imperfections, hates that he is not the type he wants.

She wanted to cry loudly, but in a daze, she felt that Xu Er was still there. A man whose heart is not in you, you must not shed tears in front of him. Because of first-class tears, what I got was not comfort, but a loss of dignity.

So, she bit her lip tightly. She was very sad in her heart, she didn't believe in fate, and she really wanted to ask: Fate, what did you let me do when I met such a person.

Suddenly, she smelled the smell of plum wine, thought there was wine, and suddenly opened her eyes, only to feel a huge shadow coming down to her, and he crouched down in front of her, and said, "There is no plum wine, you drunkard." ”

She didn't speak, just sat there, still biting her lip, half-lowering her eyes, not looking at him.

"Okay, there is still one in the Ningyuan wine storehouse, and I will give it to you another day." Xu Er said, as if comforting a child.

Dong Xiaokui still didn't speak, because she was still thinking about Chen Zixiu in her heart. Xu Er didn't speak, just squatted there for a long time, and then he also sat on the other side of the wine cabinet.

For a while, Dong Xiaokui felt numb in her legs, moved her body, and beat her legs. Xu Er moved over and pinched it for her, then sighed and said, "You are such a stupid pig, you can't see anything." ”

The tone was actually a bit reproachful, and he seemed a little angry. Dong Xiaokui didn't bother to investigate, in his heart, only the deceased woman was smart and generous, and knew how to handle it.

Dong Xiaokui held his hand and said slowly: "I'm just a little family, and I'm not smart." So, slightly, you just ignore me. It just so happens that you're almost in good health, and I want to do an internship too. ”

She wasn't going to tell him. But his vague words just now have shown that he not only heard her suppressed crying, but also heard the content of her phone calls with the other side. Then, he knew her decision, and he made it clear at this time, when the time came, she was leaving brightly, and Xu Er had no excuse to blame her.

Xu Er didn't speak, but pulled out the hand that was held by her, and patted her numb and aching leg for her, until she felt less uncomfortable, he reached out and rubbed her hair, and popped out: "You are really a pig." ”

He's been calling her "pig" lately, and I don't know what kind of mood he's in. At first, she retorted, but then she let it go, anyway, this man wants to do whatever he wants, and no one can stop it. However, on this night, especially after listening to him praise Chen Zixiu for being smart, she was very disgusted that he called her like this.

"The quantifier of a pig is a head, not a one." Dong Xiaokui retorted angrily.

"Do you want to define it by your head?" Xu Er quipped.

What a boring man. Dong Xiaokui ignored it, stood up slowly, and said, "I'm going to sleep, dizzy." ”

Xu Er didn't speak, Dong Xiaokui staggered to the room, didn't care about the dirty body, and didn't bother to wash. When he entered the house and closed the door, he fell on the bed at once, tears flowed out, and the quilt was immediately wet.

Well deserved, well deserved. Let you be delusional, let you be delusional. She scolded herself fiercely in her heart. Tears welled up even more.

In fact, she didn't know what she was crying for, she just wanted to cry. In this way, I don't know how long, the onset of alcohol and sadness and fatigue made her fall asleep.

In the haze, it seems that I have returned to the hall of the west wing of the ancestral house of the old house, where my father sits and writes calligraphy, and she recites the ancestral teachings on the side. The crisp sound is crisp in the July wind. At this moment, she was like an outsider, standing outside the door, looking at the happiness in the carefree little girl's eyebrows.

After a while, after she finished reciting the ancestral teachings, her father stopped writing, smiled, and said, "Xiaokui is very powerful." However, these are not enough to understand, in the future, you have to take a serious look at the truth in the ancestral teachings of the Dong family. These are the accumulation of ancestral wisdom and are very useful. ”

"Hmm." She replied obediently, the pink pleated skirt she was still wearing, her first dress in the real sense, a birthday present that her father bought for her.

Dad touched her head and said with a smile: "Then, a sentence that Xiaokui should remember today: no matter what the Dong family encounters, never deny their existence." Because, you are unique, you are who you are. ”

Dong Xiaokui stood outside the door, looked at the old days, and whispered, "I'm sorry." Dad, I'll just cry, and tomorrow will be fine. You have to trust me. ”

I don't know how long I stood there, but when I looked at the hall again, it was already empty. It seemed that there was a lot of noise outside the house, and it seemed to be silent.

She walked slowly, wanting to get out of the ancestral house to see. In the alley where the light and shadow were dimmed, a person suddenly came over and hugged her at once. She couldn't see his face clearly, but she smelled the breath on his body, the faint fragrance of plants was so familiar, and the person who came turned out to be Xu Er.

What did he do in the ancestral house? Dong Xiaokui struggled in his arms, this is an ancestral house after all, and he couldn't look like a hug, and asked while struggling: "Why are you here?" ”

"I'll see if you sleep honestly, if you cover the quilt, if you roll under the bed." Xu Er said.

Cover the quilt? Roll under the bed? She shook her head, only to realize that this was not his ancestral house, but his residence on top of a tall building in the city center. At this moment, he sat on the edge of the bed, tucked the corners of the quilt for her, and said, "As I expected, there was no quilt." ”

She was suddenly irritable and a little angry, sat up suddenly, glanced at him, and said, "Xu Shao casually entered other people's rooms in the middle of the night, which has ** and etiquette." ”

If it were usual, Xu Er would have refuted it a long time ago, but this time he didn't refute it. Instead, he said in a calm tone, "I have something to tell you." ”

"It's the same tomorrow, I have to disturb people's sleep in the middle of the night." Dong Xiaokui was displeased.

Xu Er sat on the edge of the bed for a while, then slowly stood up and walked to the window and opened the window. The fierce wind poured in from the window, and with the coldness of the night, Dong Xiaokui couldn't help but wrap the quilt tightly.

Xu Er just stood by the window like that, looking out the window. Dong Xiaokui was also motionless, looking at his back, the usual loneliness and loneliness permeated out, making her heart ache slightly.

He must have something to say, so why bother to embarrass him like that. Dong Xiaokui blamed herself a little. Just shouted: "Zhonglin." ”

He didn't answer, but reached out and closed the window and walked out the door. Dong Xiaokui was puzzled, but he walked in, took a glass of red wine in his hand, and then sat down on the chair next to the bed and drank it slowly.

It seems that this man really has something to say. However, it is only by drinking alcohol that you can say it. This guy is really awkward. Dong Xiaokui leaned on the head of the bed and sat on her knees, thinking about why bother him? Let him say that he still doesn't know how long it has been brewing. Looking at this person's performance, he probably wanted to talk about Chen Zixiu again.

So, bring the topic up for yourself. Dong Xiaokui cleared her throat and was about to speak. Xu Er suddenly said, "I also wondered later why I didn't take her away at that time." As you said, my character, I didn't even take her. Later, I couldn't figure it out, so I didn't think about it. Until the past few days, I have been thinking about this question again. ”

"Huh? Got eyebrows? Dong Xiaokui responded, but there was a slight pain in his heart, he liked this person too much, so he was reluctant to disturb her happiness.

"Well, something." Xu Er said.

"Some things are not important, don't think about it, why do you bother yourself. She is so good to you, naturally she wants you to be good. Dong Xiaokui comforted him. Raised his eyebrows and looked at the clock next to him, half past two in the morning. In two hours, it will be dawn in the capital. When the morning dawned, I went to buy a plane ticket, went to Sanya for a while according to the original plan, and then started the internship. This time, there was only one way to get away from him.

"I don't have that much time to think about it, so I haven't thought about it for years. Custom-made clothes over there, because the size was given, I called every year to ask, I was busy, and directly said that the size had not changed. The new ones were thrown over. As he spoke, he took another sip of wine, then turned his face to look at Dong Xiaokui, and asked again: "Why do you think that with my character, why didn't you take her away back then?" ”

He asked this question, and he was so aggressive. Dong Xiaokui was a little unhappy in her heart, but her face was still unfazed, and she said lightly: "I'm not a little less, and I can't understand your realm." However, it stands to reason that I love her very much, so I can't bear to disturb her. ”

She tried her best to calm down, but there was still a hint of sourness. Xu Er leaned on a chair and looked at her, and said in a light tone: "The biggest difference between men and women is the sense of sovereignty. ”

Her words were a little twisty, Dong Xiaokui was dizzy, and she didn't bother to think about it, she just leaned on the head of the bed, pulled out a smile, and said, "What is plundered is not love." ”

"Self-righteous." He spoke, then continued to drink, drinking all the wine in the cup, before continuing to recount his relationship with Chen Zixiu. He lived in Chen Zixiu's house for a few days, and when he saw the happiness of Chen Zixiu and her husband, he finally knew that he had completely lost her. So he returned to the capital gloomily, stayed alone in Ningyuan for three days, hurried back to the army, and never asked Chen Zixiu about everything again.

In the past, the handsome boy who "rode a horse and leaned on the bridge, full of red sleeves" became cold in an instant, and rarely communicated with people. He trained harder than before, and performed various tasks even more desperately. As a result, he was highly accomplished in the military and rose through the ranks. Therefore, until today, others dare not underestimate him, and the family attaches great importance to him, which is also related to the hard work of these years.

After returning from Chen Zixiu, Xu Er not only went to the army, but also rarely contacted people, and whenever he had free time, he stayed in the house of this high-rise building, raised flowers and plants, fiddled with the computer, and wanted to design his dream.

"What's your dream?" Dong Xiaokui suddenly asked. Yes, at this time, she shouldn't have interrupted his talk, but she couldn't help but want to know his dreams. Even if it is dawn, she will leave him, and she may never see each other again. But knowing his dreams, she would feel closer to him.

"Design a game that I love." He replied succinctly.

Dong Xiaokui remembered that Chen Jiachuan once said this. I don't know what happened to him now. To be honest, it was a bit unkind to stand by and watch what happened to him. However, she is only a weak woman, and if she wants to help him, she can only ask for help. She is not obligated to owe a debt of affection for a man who has changed his mind.

"Actually, I'm the next best thing. The kind of clean mythical era that I like, although barbaric, but clean and simple. However, after all, it is only a myth and can never be reached. So it's a virtual imitation. Xu Er suddenly said again.

Dong Xiaokui was very surprised, she didn't expect that Xu Er, who had never hesitated to kill the decisiveness, only needed a glance of cold eyes, and a man who could see a person with nowhere to hide, would have such a boundless dream.

"Did you design a game that you liked?" Dong Xiaokui asked, and then it suddenly dawned on him why there were game magazines in his room, and those new versions of operating equipment would appear in his room. It turned out that this man's dream turned out to be to design games. So what kind of game is this guy designing? If it's good, go and bastard yourself and see his dreams.

"Well, it's still in the design." He replied.

Dong Xiaokui sighed, a little disappointed. The two were silent again, Dong Xiaokui leaned on the head of the bed, and blamed herself a little for interrupting Xu Er's narration. This guy had to drink a lot of alcohol tonight before he started talking. So, after a short silence, she whispered, "Zhonglin, later—"

Xu Er lowered his head and was silent for a long time before he began to continue speaking. And this time, Dong Xiaokui decided not to interrupt him again.

It turned out that since Chen Zixiu got married, Fa Xiaodu consciously regarded Chen Zixiu as a taboo. However, a year later, when he returned from his mission, Dai Yuanqing asked him to drink. euphemistically informed him that Chen Zixiu died in childbirth in Hong Kong, and his mother and son died.

"At that time, I was so impulsive that I wanted to shoot his husband, even though he was in Canada." Xu Er snorted lightly, and her voice trembled slightly, as if a needle was pricked in Dong Xiaokui's heart, bringing spasmodic pain, and she suddenly wanted to hold him. However, she didn't do anything, just leaned silently on the head of the bed, and said to herself sensibly in her heart: "It's not just Qi Dafei, he has entrusted his heart to another person." This part of the scenery has come to an end. ”

Xu Er paused for a long time, as if he had gradually calmed down, before continuing: "Not long after, her husband came to me and told me the truth about Zixiu's marriage due to illness. And dying in childbirth was only what Zixiu requested. She didn't want me to know that, she didn't want me to feel guilty and sad. However, her husband was not reconciled and felt that it was unfair to her, so he told me. ”

"That bastard." Dong Xiaokui spit out this sentence slightly in her lips and teeth. is also a little impulsive to strangle Chen Zixiu's husband. Chen Zixiu didn't want Xu Er to know the truth, so he really protected it. That man was probably envious, jealous and hateful, leaving this kind of bone-chilling pain to Xu Er, becoming his inner demon and haunting him for so many years.

It's no wonder that the son-in-law who is proud of the spring breeze and the dashing Xu Ershao will become cold. After so many years, it turned out to be suffering. Somehow, she especially wanted to hug him. She hesitated slightly, thinking that every day might be goodbye. Yes, every time you separate, you may say goodbye, you may never see each other. Well, give him a hug, maybe the last hug. So, she shouted: "Zhonglin." ”

"Hmm" Xu Er responded, looked up at her, and asked with a face.

She cleared her throat, rolled over and got out of bed, stood in front of him, bit her lip, and wanted to say, "I want to hug you", but the words that came out of her mouth were: "She also wants you to do well, and you shouldn't dwell on memories." People should live in the present and look to the future. You naturally understand these truths. It's just that the authorities are obsessed, so I'll talk about it. ”

She felt more and more verbose. Xu Er also stood up slowly, standing in front of her, listening to her all the time, and didn't speak, just stood like that, as if he was about to be petrified.

Dong Xiaokui bit her lip, this time she finally mustered up her courage and whispered, "Zhonglin, I want to hug you." May I? This was the first time she had made such a bold request, and as soon as she finished speaking, she was all nervous and her heart was in turmoil.

When Xu Er heard this, he breathed heavily, and suddenly took Dong Xiaokui into his arms and hugged him tightly. Whispered: "Silly girl, I'm fine, many years have passed." I've just been so busy that I haven't had time to tidy up. Thank you today. ”

He said so politely, Dong Xiaokui leaned into his arms and whispered, "You are polite." As a friend, this is as it should be. ”

But he sighed and said, "Silly girl, sometimes, you are so stupid and cute." Sometimes, you can make me vomit blood. ”

Dong Xiaokui suddenly, bowed her head in front of him, and thought secretly: What is he going to do when he says this.

"You remember, men and women are different. Men are very sovereign. I don't want to be your friend, I've never considered you my friend. He said.

Dong Xiaokui stopped talking, only felt that this scene was a little wrong, at least not with his own cognition. Isn't he talking about his love for Chen Zixiu?

"You have to really understand, look at everything with your heart, don't go against your will, don't think of yourself." He hugged her tighter.

"Hmm." She only had one word left to answer.

"If I want you, you have to be mine. For men, it's love. Xu Er said.

Dong Xiaokui didn't understand a little: he was saying that he didn't love Chen Zixiu enough? Or is it talking about something else. She was still thinking about it, Xu Er kissed her lips, plundering inch by inch, sucking over and over again.

She was taken aback, thinking of her previous decision, and immediately pushed him away, saying, "Xu Shao, don't do this." Please respect me. ”

He ignored her, hugged her, and rolled her onto the bed. He seemed to know how to tame her.

She was taken aback, thinking of her previous decision, and immediately pushed him away, saying, "Xu Shao, don't do this." Please respect me. ”

He ignored her, hugged her, and rolled her onto the bed. He seemed to know how to tame her. ......

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