By this fall, Cheng Yan will be five years old.

That afternoon, she walked on the way to school with the old schoolbag sewn by her mother, the sun above her head was the same as usual, sprinkled warmly on people's bodies, and the classmates running around her were also the same as usual, occasionally familiar people ran over to pull her braids, and laughed away. Cheng Yan glanced at them ignorantly, but didn't react, she was thinking about something, but she didn't understand what she was thinking, it seemed that it was a state of emptiness, in that state, she felt very comfortable, as if she had separated herself from this frolicking world.

The first class in the afternoon was a math class, and her brain was very flexible and smart, and she understood it after a little talk from the teacher. was seriously looking up at the teacher writing on the blackboard, suddenly there was a sound of knocking on the glass from the window next to her, her attention was attracted, the teacher's attention was also attracted, turned her head to look, only to see her father and mother standing outside, the mother was still holding her brother in her arms, and was gesturing to let her out.

Cheng Yan turned her gaze back to the teacher, the young female teacher was going out to ask them what was the matter, and soon, she came back, calling Cheng Yan's name, saying that her parents had come to call her out and had something to say to her.

Cheng Yan put down the pen in his hand, stood up in a daze, and walked out under the attention of the whole class. In her impression, the sun was especially strong that day, and when she looked up at her parents, the sun almost pierced her eyes. She heard her mother talking to her, and she also heard the laughter of her brother in her mother's arms, and the sound of others talking, she turned her head to look, and it turned out that the little aunt was also beside her, carrying a school bag, looking at her with a sympathetic expression.

"Mom, what are you talking about?" Cheng Yan raised his face and asked again.

He wiped his eyes, took a deep breath, tried to suppress the choking in his throat, bent down, and said, "You go to your grandmother's house to eat at night, and you will eat at your grandmother's house in the future, you know?" ”

"What about Dad? What about you? What about Xiaolin? Cheng Yan looked at them puzzled and wrinkled his little face.

He Tu smiled reluctantly and said, "Mom and Dad have something to do, so they want to go out." ”

Cheng Yan turned his gaze to his father's face, as if to verify the authenticity of this sentence.

Cheng Jiahua turned his head, unable to bear to look at her.

Cheng Yan lowered his head sadly, quickly raised his head, and said, "Then you come back quickly." ”

He nodded, touched his daughter's head, bit his lip, turned to leave, suddenly stood again, reached out and fumbled in his pocket, took out a dollar, stuffed it into his daughter's hand, and said, "Take it and buy something delicious." ”

Cheng Yan looked at the crumpled banknotes in his hand and couldn't help but be stunned. She didn't understand what her mother meant, she never got pocket money. But the mother didn't give her a chance to ask, they turned around and quickly walked away, only the little aunt stayed beside her, giggling.

Cheng Yan turned his head to look at his little aunt, turned around and was about to enter the classroom, but was stopped by her. Cheng Jiayi looked down at her, stretched out a hand, and said, "Give it to me." ”

"What?" Cheng Yan looked at her suspiciously.

"Money."

"My mom gave it to me." Cheng Yan subconsciously put his hands behind his back.

Cheng Jiayi snorted disdainfully and said, "I'm not uncommon for that dollar, but if you live in my house and eat my family in the future, even if it's a dollar, you have to give it to me." As she spoke, she stretched out her hand and lowered her tone, "Give it to me!" ”

Cheng Yan didn't understand what she meant, but the expression on the little aunt's face looked too fierce and scared her, so she slowly stretched out her hand and watched the little aunt take the crumpled piece of money.

When school was out in the afternoon, it was her grandfather who came to pick her up.

Cheng Yan was still at an ignorant age, followed his grandfather, and asked his parents when they would come back. Cheng Tielong took her little hand and wanted to say a few words to deal with the past, but he never said it, and it took him a long time before he returned: "Your parents went to find your grandfather, and they can't come back in a short time." ”

"They are looking for my grandfather, why don't they take me?" Cheng Yan asked, his immature voice like a crisp bead falling to the ground in the dusk.

"It's too far." Cheng Tielong sighed, bent down and squatted down in front of her, and said, "They went to make money, and it will take many days and many days to come back, understand?" ”

Cheng Yan looked at her grandfather's face, trying to understand the meaning of his words, her little face was confused and puzzled, it took a long time for her to understand the meaning of that sentence, and suddenly she cried out with a "wow", wiping her tears while crying, and asked in a choked voice: "Do they don't want me anymore?" ”

Looking at her crying breathlessly, Cheng Tielong felt a little distressed, he put his arm around her small thin shoulders and said, "No, they will come back, how can a father not want children?" ”

Cheng Yan has lived at his grandparents' house since then.

She can't remember anything about her childhood, compared to her younger brother Cheng Lin, although her grandparents love Cheng Lin more, they are also very affectionate and loving to her. There is no shortage of food, clothing, and use, and grandpa will hold her, tell her stories, show her cartoons, and send her to school every day and pick her up from school. Soon, she forgot the fact that her parents were gone, and as soon as the sadness passed, the days returned to normal, and the children loved to play and frolic, so they forgot about these things.

After some time, the season has stepped into the depths of winter, and within two days, it is snowing heavily. The school was on vacation, and there were no classmates to play with her, and Cheng Yan suddenly remembered that her parents and younger brother had been forgotten by her for a long time. She lay in front of the window on the kang, looking at the heavy snow outside the window, trying to imagine in her mind what her parents and younger brother would look like, but she was so vague that she couldn't even remember what they looked like. After thinking about it for a long time, she suddenly slid down, leaned next to her grandmother who was doing needlework, and asked, "Grandma, when will my parents come back?" ”

Mu Shi turned his head and glanced at Cheng Yan, smiled, and said, "Grandma doesn't know either." ”

Cheng Yan pursed his lips, turned his head and continued to look out the window, and suddenly said in a low voice: "I miss them." ”

As soon as the heavy snow stopped, Cheng Yan couldn't wait to run out to play, and Mu Shi tossed and dressed her before letting her out. As soon as she stepped out of the threshold, she saw Cheng Siwen lifting the curtain and opening the door, revealing a white little face.

"Swain! Come and play! Cheng Yan waved at her, bent down to gather a snowball, and threw it at her.

Cheng Siwen screamed excitedly, and was about to step out of the door, but was stopped by Fang He in the room behind him. Cheng Yan bent down and gathered another snowball, and ran into the house with Cheng Siwen, but he didn't dare to go in directly, for fear that the snowball in his hand would melt.

Fanghe just gave birth some time ago, and she was another girl named Cheng Siyi. Her confinement had not yet fully passed, and she was curled up on the bed with a sweater knitted in her hand. After calling Cheng Siwen in, she knelt on the bed, dressed her eldest daughter in a coat, and put on a scarf, for fear that she would catch a cold when she was playing outside. Cheng Siwen grinned, and didn't seem to care, but Cheng Yan, who was standing outside the door, seemed to be touched by this picture, she stared blankly, something appeared in her mind.

"Xiao Yan!" After dressing Cheng Siwen for him, Fang He shouted to Cheng Yan outside the door, "You take care of your sister, don't let her fall!" ”

Cheng Yan hurriedly agreed, put away the inexplicable sadness, excitedly took Cheng Siwen's hand, and ran out.

Looking at the frolicking figures of the two children through the window, Fang He sighed deeply.

Her situation now is not much better than that of Hetu at that time.

Since He Tu and Cheng Jiahua moved out, she and Cheng Jiaji have both moved to their previous house, a small one, a little cramped. But Fanghe didn't care, she was a gentle and demure girl, she just wanted to take care of her husband and children and live a good life, she never dared to be rich and expensive. But that Cheng Jiaji didn't seem to appreciate her love and understood her intentions. When he first entered the door, he would be considerate and gentle with her, but as she gave birth to two children, he gradually became impatient, and even as long as Fang He said a nagging word, his face was full of irritability, and he couldn't listen to a word. He is a fun-loving person, and he never likes others to control him, Fanghe was not clear at first, and then gradually gave up to control his heart, and let him spend all day drinking outside, playing east and west. Cheng Jiaji is different from Cheng Jiahua, he doesn't gamble, but he spends all his money on playing, and he refuses to give Fanghe a penny, and now Fanghe's pocket is empty, and he has no savings. Occasionally, it's really difficult, and if you want to buy something for yourself and your children, you can only go home and ask your parents for some, but fortunately, Fanghe's family is not bad, and she is only her only daughter, and her parents are also very fond of her, and this day is quite smooth.

Some time ago, I heard that my eldest brother and sister-in-law were going to do business to make money, and Fang He also had this heart, but she didn't know anything about it, and Cheng Jiaji was a very impetuous person. Although Fanghe is a little more cowardly, she also understands that the money her parents earn is hard-earned money, and she is not very prepared, and she refuses to borrow this money from her parents easily. These days, she always asked her parents-in-law about the current situation of her eldest brother and sister-in-law, wondering how they are doing now, and when they come back in the future, she can ask her sister-in-law to help and see if she can make some small money with her sister-in-law's help. But listening to the tone of the in-laws, they are also very plain on their side, no different from here, not to mention making a lot of money. Gradually, Fanghe let go of this heart and worked like this day after day.

At this time, looking at the two children playing happily outside, and a young baby sleeping on the bed, she couldn't help but feel a little desolate in her heart, no matter what happened to her sister-in-law over there, it could be regarded as going out to see the world, and she could only be locked up in this big yard day after day, and she only went back to her mother's house when she went out, and her life could be said to be extremely boring. Only these two children can make her feel a little relieved in her heart, thinking, she looked down at Cheng Siyi's pink little face, and couldn't help laughing.

Cheng Yan has been at his grandparents' house for more than a year, and his life is not very good, but it is not too bad. Occasionally, when she sees other children taking care of their parents, she will feel sad in her heart and miss her parents, but the child has a poor memory, and she quickly leaves this sad feeling behind when she sees the fun. The only time she felt devastated was in the late autumn of the second year after her parents left, when the weather had cooled down, and people were wearing autumn clothes, and the wind was blowing on their bodies, and they still felt a little cool. In that afternoon when the wind kept blowing, the sun hung on the mountain in the west, scattering the last afterglow to the world, in the sunshine that was still warm, Cheng Yan knelt on the ground, two dirty little hands on the ground, his little face was already red from crying, and his voice was almost hoarse.

Fang He stood on the steps of her house, holding an iron cane in one hand, staring at Cheng Yan angrily and angrily, Cheng Siwen stood next to her legs, the expression on her face was the same as her mother, but with some contempt and disdain.

Cheng Yan was tired of crying, she couldn't cry anymore, she stopped screaming, gasped for breath, and when she looked up at Fang He and Cheng Siwen, she was suddenly stunned.

On weekdays, although Aunt Fanghe is not very close to her, she never shows such a look at her. The disgust and disgust in her eyes were so obvious that even though she was just a child, she could easily feel the malice contained in them. And Cheng Siwen standing next to her broke her heart even more, what a good relationship they have on weekdays, but Cheng Siwen stood beside her mother, and her eyes also showed that kind of look, and the two of them looked at her together, as if Cheng Yan was an unforgivable villain, and she couldn't raise her head when she stared at her.

Cheng Yan didn't understand, she just went to Aunt Fanghe's kitchen to get two cakes to eat, how could she be so angry, rushed to her grandfather's house and ran out with the iron rod, hitting herself headless and faceless. Although Aunt Fanghe's strength was not very heavy, the iron rod beckoned to her, and Cheng Yan, who was still in pain, cried out. She was rolling on the ground, dodging the stick, and in the interval, she saw Cheng Siwen standing beside her, looking at her indifferently. Cheng Yan was in so much pain that she didn't bother to pay attention to Cheng Siwen's expression, until Aunt Fanghe was tired and stopped, she stood up straight from the ground with her arms and cried out as if venting.

Today, the grandparents have gone out and haven't come back yet, the young Cheng Yan has been so wronged that she can't even find someone to help her for a while, and the helpless emotions catalyze, she feels more and more aggrieved in her heart, and she cries even louder.

Fang He saw Cheng Yan crying heartbreakingly, and felt a little regretful in her heart, but she also felt relieved. It was a kind of relief to vent all the anger that had been buried in my heart for a long time, but this anger was not sent to the person who caused it, but to the innocent child in front of him.

When Cheng Jiaji came back at noon, he had a big fight with her because of money. Fanghe saw that he always went out to play, and he didn't get a penny back, and the good-tempered person couldn't help it anymore no matter how long he endured it, while Cheng Jiaji was eating, she mustered up the courage and said what was in her heart, and she even made up her mind, as long as Cheng Jiaji promised her that she would not go out to play in the future and live a good life, she was willing to talk to her parents and borrow money to do business for him. But Cheng Jiaji only listened to the first two sentences, then threw away the chopsticks irritably, pointed at her and scolded. He also seemed to be angry outside, and his face was not good-looking, but as soon as Fang He complained, it completely stimulated the anger in his heart. His scolding words were so ugly, and he brought his parents, Fanghe couldn't bear it anymore, she threw away the chopsticks in her hand, stood up, and retorted in her mouth. Cheng Jiaji saw that Fang He, who had never spoken back, actually turned back, and his heart was even more angry, he reached over and grabbed Fang He's hair, and fell hard, pushing her down in the yard.

Fanghe was angry and aggrieved, and was about to cry, but saw Siwen standing next to him with a rice bowl, looking at him in shock. She didn't want to cry in front of the child, so she struggled to stand up, but before she could stand up, she was kicked by Cheng Jiaji on the leg, and she couldn't help but cry out when she was in pain.

Cheng Siwen opened his mouth and finally cried.

Cheng Tielong and Mu Shi heard the movement, hurriedly came out of the house, and saw that their son actually beat his daughter-in-law in front of him, Cheng Tielong was angry, and hurriedly stepped forward to tear apart Cheng Jiaji, who was about to kick Fanghe, and scolded him sharply. Mu Shi quickly helped Fang He up, let her sit on the bench, patted the ashes on her body, and cared for a word or two in her mouth, but Fang He could see that the care was just a routine, and there was no real worry and distress in it.

After such a scene, he couldn't eat anymore, Cheng Jiaji endured his father's two rebukes, and found a reason to go out. Cheng Tielong and Mu Shi comforted Fanghe for a word or two, and then went back to the house, and in the courtyard that became quiet again, only the embarrassed Fanghe and the frightened Siwen were left. She stretched out her hand to take her daughter into her arms, forcibly endured the grievances in her heart and the tears that welled up in her eyes, and coaxed her sobbing daughter. Cheng Siwen cried for a while, suddenly reached out and pressed the position where Fang He had just been kicked, and asked in a choked voice, "Does it hurt?" ”

This sentence almost made Fang He's tears fall, she hurriedly lowered her head, wiped away her tears with her sleeve, shook her head, and smiled reluctantly: "It doesn't hurt." Good Wen'er, shall we eat? ”

Cheng Siwen sobbed twice, raised his sleeve to wipe away his nose and tears, and said angrily: "Okay." ”

After eating, Fang He cleaned up the dishes and chopsticks, and after washing, he saw Cheng Siwen still sitting on the steps in a daze, not knowing what he was thinking. She was afraid that Siwen would remember the unbearable appearance of herself and her husband just now, so she hurriedly turned around and opened the cabinet, and stepped out of a paper bag in the deepest part, which contained the pastries she brought from her mother's house, she was never willing to eat, just a few pieces were very expensive, at this time she opened the paper bag, took out two pieces, walked out of the kitchen, squatted down, and wanted to use it to coax Cheng Siwen to be happy.

She coaxed her daughter without a match, and only after watching Siwen re-show her smile after eating, she got up satisfied. Suddenly, she heard a sound behind her, turned her head to look, and saw Cheng Yan holding a few pastries in her hands, eating a mouth full of pastry dregs, and seeing her aunt's eyes looking at her, she tilted her head and smiled mischievously.

Fang He's heart suddenly rose a fire, this fire made her dizzy, her eyes cracked, before her head reacted, her body had involuntarily rushed over, pulled Cheng Yan's thin arm, and pushed Cheng Yan down on the belt. Cheng Yan looked at her blankly, and then looked at the pastries scattered on the ground, and couldn't help but be stunned.

Fanghe's eyes seemed to flash the picture of herself being beaten just now, and recalled the smile that Cheng Yan showed to her just now, that smile seemed to be mocking her, provoking her, and those pastries - Fanghe couldn't help but feel a pain in her heart, she took it back from her mother's house, she was reluctant to eat, and she actually gave it to this wild girl who didn't know where her father and mother had gone, so thinking about it, the fire in her heart burned even more, and while her father-in-law and mother-in-law had just gone out, she had to teach this girl a good lesson!

Fang He turned into the house, took out the iron crutch from the corner of the house, and hit Cheng Yan without saying anything. She vented all the grievances and anger in her heart on the little Cheng Yan, and no longer cared about what impression Cheng Siwen would leave on her, her face was hideous, like a demon who eats people.

Cheng Yan didn't know how long she had been crying, she curled up in the deepest part of the garden in the cool autumn breeze, looking at the sky overhead that was red by the afterglow of the setting sun. At this time, the faces of her parents who had disappeared in her mind for a long time suddenly appeared, she remembered her father's face that always had a gentle smile, he used to hold herself, tell stories to herself, and play with herself, and also remembered her mother's face that was always sad and angry, but sometimes, she would show a beautiful and warm smile, hug herself in the dark night, and let herself fall asleep slowly in the warm bed. Cheng Yan thought about it, feeling even more aggrieved, although she didn't understand so many truths when she was young, she was sensitive to the fact that here, although grandpa and grandma were good to her, that kind of good was always alienated, making people feel that one day it would be decisively ended, but it was different in front of her parents, she could laugh unbridled and show the true side of her heart. Maybe her parents will blame herself, they will reprimand herself, but the courtyard that has not been inhabited for a long time is still the place she wants to go back to the most.

The sky gradually darkened, and through the heavy shadows of the trees, Cheng Yan faintly saw a faint smoke floating from the kitchen chimney. She buried her head in her knees, her tears already dry, and the countless tear stains were dried on her face, as if someone had put tape on them.

Mu Shi's call came from the gate of the garden from afar, it was the sound of telling her to go to dinner, but Cheng Yan didn't hear it, she closed her eyes, and seemed to have fallen asleep. Mu Shi called a few times, but could not hear a response, so he walked in with his little feet, looking for his granddaughter's figure in the dark, and finally found her, but saw her sitting trembling on the dirt floor, not knowing what she was doing. Mu Shi bent over, pulled her up with some difficulty, and nagged in his mouth: "My little ancestor, what are you doing sitting here on a cold day, your clothes are dirty again, do you still think that your grandmother does too little work, do you think about finding some work for me to do?" ”

Cheng Yan was pulled up, revealing his little pale face. Mu Shi was stunned, lowered his head and took a closer look in the dark, and asked, "What's wrong?" Who bullied you? Crying like this? ”

Cheng Yan felt aggrieved and almost cried again, she raised her head and wanted to tell her grandmother everything that happened in the afternoon, but suddenly, she saw Aunt Fanghe standing behind her grandmother with Cheng Siyi in her arms, looking at her with a gloomy face. Cheng Yan trembled, closed his mouth involuntarily, and shook his head.

Mu Shi looked at her like this, but he didn't ask anymore, patted the dust on her buttocks, and took her hand to go back. At this time, I heard Fang He say behind him: "Mom, the meal is ready, go eat it." ”