When Cheng Yan woke up, he was already lying in the hospital. She didn't know why, she looked at everything in front of her blankly, and suddenly, several familiar faces appeared in front of her, startling her.

"Finally woke up." Cheng Jiahua breathed a sigh of relief and sat down on the edge of the bed. He Tu was also beside him, looking at her worriedly, but the corners of his mouth curved out of a stubborn arc, and he didn't say a word.

"Sister, are you okay?" Cheng Lin also came over and asked with concern.

Cheng Yan glanced at them a few times and asked suspiciously, "What's wrong?" ”

"You've fainted! If I hadn't gone out and seen it, you wouldn't have known how long it would have been going to be! Cheng Lin said with a quick mouth and crackling.

"Fainted?" Cheng Yan thought about it and seemed to be able to remember it faintly.

"The doctor said that you were too stressed, thinking too much, and not resting well." Cheng Lin said again, was slapped by Hedi, and reprimanded: "There are so many words! Get out and play! Seeing Cheng Lin go out, she turned around and tucked the quilt corner for Cheng Yan again.

"Well, forget it." Cheng Jiahua sighed, he looked at Cheng Yan, the wrinkles on his face seemed to have added a few more layers, looking tired and old, "If you want to go to school, go ahead." ”

Cheng Yan looked at her father in surprise, she couldn't believe the words that came out of his mouth, she looked back at her mother, and when she saw that her mother didn't turn her head, her heart was astringent.

"What else can I do, you're like this, I can't force you to ......" Cheng Jiahua said, sighing again.

He Tu sat down on the edge of the bed, turned her head over, she glanced at Cheng Yan quickly, suppressed her emotions, and whispered: "Look at you, you are like this, how can we rest assured that you go so far?" The body is so bad...... And they won't take care of themselves...... I don't like to talk, in case I am bullied, I get sick or something, so far, we can't fly in front of you all of a sudden......"

Cheng Yan looked at her father and then at her mother, her heart seemed to be poked, and it hurt stiffly again and again. This is the first time she has heard her parents express their love for her, and it is so jerky and touching to chew. But it is not enough to describe her feelings at this time only as touching. Cheng Yan clutched the corners of the quilt tightly, biting her lip, but she couldn't stop the choking of her throat and the welling of tears, she cried aggrievedly, as if someone had snatched the big treasure and returned it to her.

"Don't cry." Cheng Jiahua was anxious, "What's uncomfortable again?" ”

Cheng Yan shook his head, and suddenly cried even more.

On the day Cheng Yan went to school, her parents dropped her off at the station. She had to take the bus to the city, and then take the train to the city where the school was located, and the journey would not take more than a day or two. Her mother had to take care of her younger brother at home, so she couldn't send her there, and her father could only give her a ride, so she had to go back to the store to do business. At this moment of separation, Cheng Yan suddenly felt that she had grown up, she was carrying a schoolbag and a suitcase, although she was thin, she felt that she could hold up a piece of the world.

It's nothing when she was separated from her mother and younger brother, maybe her father was still by her side, Cheng Yan felt that she still had a backer, but when her father was about to separate from her, she finally couldn't help crying. Cheng Jiahua stuffed the suitcase into her hand, raised his hand to wipe away the tears on her face, and advised: "Dad can only send you here, you have to go to school alone." He looked at his daughter's wet face and couldn't help laughing, "What are you crying about, go to school, what are you crying about, don't cry." Be careful along the way, don't fall asleep, let people steal the luggage, remember? ”

Cheng Yan nodded, biting his lip desperately trying to hold back the crying.

Cheng Jiahua lowered his head, searched in his pocket for a long time, found three red tickets, stuffed them into Cheng Yan's pocket, and said: "Go to school, go to sign up first, get the dormitory ready, buy whatever you want to eat, don't wronged yourself, ask your dad if you don't have money, don't quarrel with your classmates, it's so far away, if something happens, your parents can't come to you all at once." If you have any grievances, just endure it, it's serious to study hard, remember? ”

"Remembered." Cheng Yan choked up, not daring to look at her father, as soon as she saw her father's old face, she couldn't help but cry.

"Okay, don't cry, I wasn't making a fuss about going to school some time ago, but now I'm really going, and I'm crying again." Cheng Jiahua pretended to reproach and looked at her daughter, but immediately laughed again, "Don't cry, it's time to check the ticket, hurry in, sit at the end of the way, you will arrive, there is a school bus at the station, don't take the wrong one." ”

Cheng Yan didn't have time to cry anymore, under the urging of the broadcast, she turned around and walked towards the wicket, gradually moving away from her, and didn't see behind her, Cheng Jiahua raised his hand and quickly wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes.

It wasn't until he got in the car that Cheng Yan's mood gradually calmed down. She took a deep breath and, with the help of someone next to her, put her luggage above her seat and sat down by the window. This was the first time she had gone far away, and the freshness buried in her heart gradually overpowered the sadness. She tucked her headphones into her ears, listened to music, and surveyed her surroundings as if she were watching a wonderful silent movie.

Suddenly, the phone rang, and there was a string of unfamiliar numbers on it. Cheng Yan hurriedly picked it up, and the unfamiliar and somewhat familiar voice was Xiuhan.

"Xiao Yan, why didn't you call me?" Xiuhan was a little anxious and asked worriedly.

Cheng Yan smiled, now that her heart is much calmer, she told the truth again.

Xiuhan put his mind at ease, and then smiled: "Look, I said that you misunderstood your parents, how can there be parents who don't love their children." Okay, since you're on your way to school, take care of yourself, and if you need anything, you can call me, I'm not far from you, and I'll go see you when I have time. ”

"Thank you, Auntie." Cheng Yan thanked her, hung up the phone, and a big smile appeared on the corner of her mouth, this was the happiest and most satisfying day for her in more than ten years.

When she arrives at school, the busy days begin, and she is so immersed in the excitement and excitement of her new environment that she soon forgets the often dull and often quarrelsome home. It wasn't until the end of the first semester that she received a call from her younger brother, saying that her parents had divorced, and her father didn't agree to it, but her mother was willing to go out and not want anything, so her father agreed.

"Both of our accounts are also on my father's account." Cheng Lin picked up another sentence.

"What about Mom?" Cheng Yan hurriedly asked, her brows furrowed tightly, "She has nothing, where is she going?" ”

Cheng Lin sneered and said, "There is another person, have you forgotten?" ”

Cheng Yan was shocked in his heart, and suddenly remembered Zheng Xi, but Zheng Xi was also married and had children, even if he accepted his mother, then what kind of relationship was this.

"Did Dad really give nothing to Mom? Is Dad so ruthless? ”

"They have been arguing for the past few years, and you don't know it, I'm tired of listening to it. On the day the divorce agreement was signed, the two of them were like enemies, if I hadn't pulled them, they would have fought again. Cheng Lin sighed and asked again, "Sister, when will you come back?" I- I miss you. ”

Cheng Yan felt surprised again, this younger brother quarrels with her the most on weekdays, and when she suddenly heard him say this, she felt a little abnormal.

"I can't go back this year, I want to work part-time to earn living expenses for next month." Cheng Yan said that although she also misses her home in her heart, she has no urge to go back, plus her parents have divorced, and this family is shattered, even if she goes back, what can she do?

"Okay." Cheng Lin responded in frustration, was silent for two seconds, and hung up the phone.

Cheng Yan's "not going back" is not just "this year", in the next few years, no matter how her parents and younger brother call, she actually insisted on the belief of "not going back". Although she is young, she already has a plan of her own, and she almost can't wait to get rid of everything she has experienced in the past and want to live the life she wants to live, but the process is extremely difficult and requires a lot of suffering, but she still persists. After her first year of work, her father remarried, and half a year later, she gave birth to a big fat boy, and she had a younger brother. As for his mother, the contact is gradually becoming less and less, and Cheng Yan almost doesn't know what kind of life her mother is living now, whether she is still with Zheng Xi. The mother refused to say, and she didn't ask, so she was busy with her own business, trying to use her busyness to wash away the loneliness of being away from the family.

Finally, that day, in the tearful confession of his mother, Cheng Yan promised to go back for the first time.

She hadn't been out for a long time and felt a little timid, but fortunately, her boyfriend was by her side, and she didn't have to worry about anything. Twenty-four hours later, she arrived at the familiar small county town, walking on the streets, and she had a feeling of vicissitudes in her heart, and she couldn't help but smile bitterly.

"You see, this is where I lived when I was a kid." Cheng Yan pointed to the surrounding environment and said to her boyfriend.

Now that his parents are divorced, his mother is no longer in the yard where he lived when he was a child, and Cheng Yan doesn't want to go back there. In that big house, there is a strange woman and a strange baby living now, which is not something that Cheng Yan can accept indifferently. She followed the address her mother had given her and went all the way to her mother's residence. It was a small and narrow courtyard, a little cramped and old, the door was tightly fastened, and there was no one inside.

Cheng Yan raised his hand and knocked on the door, and soon, a sound of footsteps came out, and the door was opened from the inside.

Cheng Yan was suddenly shocked, she couldn't believe what she saw with her eyes, that thin, somewhat rickety figure, that old, tired, sad face, was that still her mother? In Cheng Yan's impression, his mother has always been dressed up very brightly, and no matter how embarrassed she is in front of others, she has to show a confident demeanor. However, the look on that face was so shocked and so cautious, and it was definitely not the mother she remembered.

"Mom?" Cheng Yan hesitated for a few seconds and shouted.

"Xiao, Xiao Yan?" He Tu looked at the woman in front of him blankly, her daughter is much taller than her now, very beautiful, with a compelling aura on her body, is this her daughter? She couldn't believe it.

"Yes, it's me." After the initial shock, Cheng Yan's nose quickly became sour, she looked at her mother distressed with tears in her eyes, and said, "I'm back." ”

He Tu held the door frame tightly, his mouth was pursed, the wrinkles on his face were deeper, and he trembled his lips and said, "You have no conscience, you still know how to come back..... You, you don't know, Mom waited for you so hard. ”

Mother and daughter, in front of the dilapidated little door, hugged each other and cried bitterly. They never thought that only when they had been separated for so long and endured so much would they be willing to show their inner thoughts and pour out their love for each other. In the past, how "reserved" they were, not only "reserved", but also deliberately staying away, it seems that if they reveal a little, they will be punished greatly.

After crying for a long time, under the persuasion of Cheng Yan's boyfriend, the two gradually calmed down. He let them in, poured tea and served fruit diligently, as if they were some kind of supreme guests. Cheng Yan didn't want to see his mother so busy, so he took his mother's hand, asked her to sit down opposite him, and asked with concern, "Mom, are you living here alone now?" ”

He Tu was stunned, sighed, lowered his head, and didn't say a word for a long time.

"Where's Uncle Zheng?" Cheng Yan turned his head and glanced around. The room was small, but it was kept clean and tidy, in the usual style of her mother, but in this neat hut she did not find any of the daily necessities of adult men.

"He's back." He Tu said sullenly, barely squeezing out a smile, "He has a home." ”

"You-" Cheng Yan didn't need to ask again, just looking at the expression on her mother's face, she guessed everything. Sighing heavily, she persuaded, "It's okay, it's not that there are no men anymore, we can't live anymore." ”

The boyfriend who was standing on the side pursed his lips dissatisfiedly and poked Cheng Yan.

He Tu glanced at the young man, smiled slightly, and said, "My daughter has grown up and found a partner." ”

Cheng Yan smiled shyly and glanced at her boyfriend, her eyes full of happiness and satisfaction.

He Tu saw the scene in front of her, but there was no trace of joy in her heart, her heart seemed to have accumulated a thick layer of dust, and now her daughter's happiness has pressed several layers on it, making her life suddenly become more obscure. After struggling for so many years, she has never gained anything, and what friendship and love that young people talk about seems to her to be just a joke. Looking at the light on the faces of the two young people because of love, Hedi felt even more bitter in her heart, she excused herself to cook, got up and ran away, covered her face in the kitchen, and cried lowly.

This is her life, she thought that by her own efforts, she could always drill a hole in the thick wall and see a little light, but the wall was too thick, and she gambled her life's time and energy, but she couldn't make a hole in it. Perhaps fate is a god that cannot be challenged to her, she is too small, too powerless, she can't resist everything that weighs on her, and everything is too heavy.

He Tu sniffed, raised her face, and in her mind, the scene of her youth flashed again, she felt that the road in front of her was very hopeless, and the memories of the past covered that road with layers of fog, making her more and more unable to see clearly. Maybe life is like this, no matter whether it is suffering or joy, it is always a practice. People's hearts are complex and desired, maybe if you don't ask so much at the beginning, your life will not be so heavy later.