Recommended Music: 1945/Luo Jiyi

In the late spring of 1998, Beijing was already baked warm by the sun. In the vast white world that I finally drove away, the golden sun in exchange took away the cold and cold, and I couldn't wait to renew my beautiful and comfortable mood. Even if I look ugly, I have to freshen up before I go out. This is perhaps a polite ritual and a sign of respect that the girls have for themselves.

"I heard that it's the same thing in the alley." The woman quietly helped me comb my hair, "Your head is happening so well." ”

"It's okay." I pursed my lips and smiled in satisfaction, "Actually, I would love to turn myself into a short-haired ......"

"No......," the woman hurriedly interrupted, "you know what? Long hair is very beautiful, and in this era, girls cut their hair short, they will be discriminated against. It's not like you don't know that the phenomenon of patriarchy is serious nowadays......"

"yes, I know." I lowered my head slightly, and my heart twitched when I heard the word 'patriarchy' cross the tip of my heart.

"You know what? What is most important to a girl? The woman also wrapped me in a fancy headscarf after combing her hair, "In this era, everything is outstanding and popular." So, for every girl, youth is more important. But to keep your youth, appearance is the foundation. ”

"Does it really matter? "The thought of being ugly makes me feel a heavy blow. I pushed the woman away from the woman's hand, "Auntie, I don't like this headscarf, can you change it for me to a black one?" ”

"Black?" She thought she heard correctly, "Isn't that more rustic?" You know, young women like you who like to decorate with floral headcloths. Why do you like such drab colors? ”

The woman looked at my choice and then spoke without permission.

"Actually, I'm not interested in any of that." I shook my head accommodatingly, "Anyway, I don't plan to get married in this life, why should I care so much?" ”

"That's what you really think?" The woman thought that my thoughts were even more strange, "Is it good to be an old virgin for a lifetime?" So who will provide for you? "The woman is very helpless.

"I'll raise myself......" I lowered my eyes dissatisfied, and the corners of my mouth curled a little.

"Maybe you're thinking too simply." The woman shook her head, "Now, we can't even solve the most basic problem of food and clothing, let alone a well-off society......"

"Is it true that if you get married, you must be doing well?" I had a somewhat retortive tone.

"......" Suddenly, the woman was speechless by my words, and she fell into deep thought. Maybe she's been through something, so she should understand something.

"Okay, let's not talk about that." I changed the subject, "I heard that there are some interesting places in Beijing, and I don't know a thing or two after coming here for a while, so you can take me there to open my eyes." ”

"Hmm." The woman nodded a little deeply.

In the training court in the backyard of a theater troupe, a girl about thirteen years old silently wiped the blood from the corners of her mouth.

"What are you doing there? Hurry up and put on your makeup, and the stage will start performing soon! The post-production staff preparing for the play looked hideous and fierce.

The girl walked aggrievedly to the dressing table after being reprimanded, if it weren't for the nine dollars and eight cents, she would not be willing to dedicate herself to a play for a few days. However, thinking of his young age, how much money can he earn by labor with his own ability to survive? And at that time, the best choice was to enter the drama troupe, although it was cruelly restrictive. But only theater troupes like imprisoned people who work for free will accept some underage children as the basis for their interpretation.

The scar on the girl's face was just beaten by the troupe, and even if it was covered with a thick layer of powder, it was difficult to cover the stinging wound. So, the makeup artist had no choice but to transform the scar into Huawen and used a kind of raw ink to apply directly to the girl's wound.

Unexpectedly, the girl was stung by the ink-stained wound and knocked over the ink on the makeup artist's hand.

I saw that the makeup artist was angry, "I guess, I can't paint you with this makeup!" Hurry up and bring your troupe master! ”

The makeup artist said in an unfriendly tone, and then angrily patted the ink that fell on him, "My robe is imported from abroad, and it is estimated that it will not be washed off if it is stained by ink." Do you want to figure out a way for yourself, or do you want to pay me a piece? ”

"I ......" the girl snorted, looking aggrieved that she had already been frightened to tears hanging in her eyes, "I'm sorry!" I'm sorry! I really didn't mean to......"

"Excuse me?" The man kept raising his eyebrows, "Just say 'I'm sorry'?" "She obviously wants to embarrass the little girl in front of her." Anyway, I don't care, I have to go and invite your troupe master. ”

After saying that, she was about to turn around and leave, and the girl quickly pulled the hem of her skirt.

"I beg you...... Don't go, okay? Her tears welled up in her eyes, "If the master knows, then my month's salary this month will be in vain......"

"How can I not go? So what are you going to do with my soiled clothes? "The man had the heart to stir things up.

"I'll take it back and wash it off for you." The girl was a little timid.

"What if you can't wash it off?" The man smiled disdainfully, and the evil expression accelerated the little girl's fear even more, "Otherwise." I don't know what kind of golden idea she had when she rolled her eyes, "You said it yourself, help me wash it up." If you can't wash it, I'll chop off your hands! ”

As soon as she finished speaking, the little girl shuddered. Apparently intimidated, she silently agreed.

"Not yet! The stage is about to begin, and your makeup isn't done yet! With a command, the little girl stood obediently back in front of the man.

And this time, no matter how much pain it was, the little girl was silent. On the contrary, the makeup artist's movements were even more rude, probably because he was jealous of this beautiful little face.

I've been in Beijing for so long, and this is the first time I've walked side by side with a woman in the bright daylight. It was very windy in Beijing, and we both wore headscarves. Those who know probably think that we are afraid of the wind, and the big deal that we don't know is that we are from an ethnic minority, so we are just dressed a little strangely. And the fact of the situation, we all know ourselves, we don't want to expose the face that the world has rejected to the outside, so that we can keep those strangers away.

However, when we walked through a certain place, we noticed that there was a crowd of people, and then we couldn't stop abruptly. When we leaned forward and squeezed into the crowd, we found that there was a stage in front of us. And a wonderful scene is being played out on the stage......

The singers are not tall and look skinny, but their voices are very good and moving. I saw her singing and doing some difficult movements to show her mood at this time.

Although I forgot the title of this play, everyone who watched it was deeply moved. Me and women are no exception.

It's just that this play makes me silently recall the hidden picture of the past ten years,

Something is unconsciously deep in the memory......

I thought I was going to die after that jump, but when I opened my eyes, I was shocked to see a woman with only half of her face left and the other half of her face burned.

The woman didn't say anything, she just pursed her lips and smiled faintly at me.

"Why save me?" I was very sad and indignant to see that I was worse off than dead.

"If death solves everything, then you can try again now. Don't worry, I won't stop you this time. The woman said indifferently.

As I was about to get up and twist my breath, I thought of something and suddenly came to my senses and stopped.

"You're right, choosing death in the face of difficulties is a kind of escape, and even more so a kind of cowardice...... "I was taught and suddenly became interested in women.

Later, in order to thank her for saving her life, he accidentally found that she did not ask for anything in return. Later, there was only the choice to be by her side. When I asked her about her identity, the woman kept everything a secret from me. The word "widow" sent me away, and though she did not show a trace of her presence in front of me, or tried to disguise herself perfectly, I still doubted her identity, and perhaps she had a hard time hiding her troubles and did not want to tell anyone.

Later, when I drowned, I realized that my memory was fading. However, I cannot erase the passers-by in my life, especially the benefactors who saved me.

So, I remembered the boy who saved me, Bai Xu. Is he really dead? After seeing his swollen and horrible face that day, it was deeply imprinted in my mind.

From the first time I mistook him for doing something to me, he saved me on a single-plank bridge in the dead of night, and he was still holding on to his dying body. I'll admit that I'm a tempted girl, so I daydream too much.

So, I thought that if there was an afterlife, I would have to become a very beautiful girl. then stood in front of Bai Xu, and then said to him arrogantly and loudly, "Bai Xu, I like you!" ”

Later, I refused to give up, but I wanted to run back to find Bai Xu's corpse. However, they were stopped by the women one by one. She said that according to my exposed identity, it would be a dead end for me to go back. Instead of making such a lifelong choice, it is better to give yourself a chance to be a new person.

So, the woman said that she still had something important to attend to, and when she was done, she would take me away from the place where there was no place to remember.

After a few days, unfortunately a plague virus broke out in Xiangxi. So, the idea that I wanted to leave was accelerated. The woman told me to wait for her to come back in three days, but things suddenly took an unexpected turn.

Since then, the woman has never returned, and I thought she had died of an infection, and then I planned to return to my hometown again.

At that time, the Sino-Vietnamese War had not yet ended, and it lasted until the end of summer and autumn. Some gunshots could be faintly heard, but those were warnings.

On top of that, when I went back, most of the people in the village had contracted the disease and died, which would have been a heavy blow to me.

It is said that this virus is called Avirus, and infected people can cause liver cancer, so it is also called Aviral hepatitis. In order to find the root cause of the outbreak, I did not hesitate to interview people who were carriers of the virus. In the end, I learned that the root originated from a farmer who loved Nongsang very much. However, because of his abrupt identity, he will be hated by others.

So, in the name of the divine doctor, he said that he could use Gu to cure all poisons, because the locals were also faithful that I was a Gu girl. Later, when everyone was away from the old man who was isolated, I went in indifferently.

Seeing the old man curled up on the bed, I thought of my grandmother, who had just passed away, and my eyes turned red.

"Water, water, ......" I saw the old man shouting with great difficulty, it seemed that he had been hungry for many days. However, I did not hesitate to approach the old man with only a mask covering my nose and mouth, and then carefully handed her the water.

Seeing that the old man took a big breath after drinking the water, and then said with difficulty, "Child...... Thank you ......."

The tone is intermittent and weak, and it may be that you are speaking as best you can. And I was surprised that since the old man was the transmitter of the disease, why was she still alive and well, while the other infected people died faster......

So, I couldn't help but blurt out the question, "Grandma, this virus is so serious, and you are the transmitter of the source of the disease, why are you still alive?" ”

"Child...... You may not believe it. She paused for a moment, trying to prepare me for something.

"It's okay. Grandma, you go on to say...... "I was used to focusing my gaze.

"Because I once bumped into a real corpse chaser, and he helped me take away the bad luck......" The old man's tone was light, and his voice was as light as air.

"Corpse chaser?" However, when I heard these three words and spit them out of my mouth unconsciously, my brain was already terrified.

Because, I seem to have heard this word somewhere.