There is a friend who divides the people in the world into two kinds, those who know that they are sick and those who do not know that they are sick.

For the first one, I admire it very much. They have good self-awareness and self-reflection skills. They dare to face their imperfections, dare to face their own problems, and have the consciousness to correct and want to make themselves better. When problems arise, they are able to realize that they are also responsible. Sometimes they even feel that they are ridiculous, and even if they don't know what they are wrong, they will have a sense of reflection: Is it really wrong? I always feel that there is no terrible problem, as long as you have self-awareness, positive reflection, and positive improvement, you will become a more and more perfect person. I call them the Responsible.

I also have great admiration for the second type of people. They have no self-awareness and self-reflection skills. They are truly perfect people because the problem never belongs to them. If they have pain in life, it is usually the fault of the environment, the fault of the times. If they have problems in their relationships with others, they usually think that their lovers, children, parents, friends, co-workers, etc. are wrong, and they themselves are not wrong, and often put themselves in a high position. So they divide the people in the world into two kinds: those who identify with me and those who don't. I call these kinds of people – victims.

Of course, there are people at both extremes first. We are both oscillating between these two values. In the final analysis, the difference between the two is: whether people can self-reflect on problems, recognize their own responsibilities and make their own efforts to change the status quo and achieve their desired results. However, this is not an easy task. It is said that all the pain in life is one's own responsibility. It is said that "a slap does not make a sound", and everyone is at fault. I know a lot about the truth, but when things come up, I still think that others are at fault. So complaining, angry, blaming, aggrieved, irritable, controlling, unaccustomed, and constantly torturing themselves with these emotions, in order to complete the punishment of others and achieve their own goals. I have always been reluctant to see that behind all these unpleasantness, it is caused by my own reasons. That is, they do not want to admit that they are actually sick.

Human life is made up of three types of relationships: relationships with one's inner self, relationships with others, and relationships with the environment. All three types of relationships are done by the interaction of the two, and both are responsible. All of people's suffering is based on the bad relationship between these three. For example, if you have a bad relationship with your inner self, you will attribute the problem to yourself who is not working hard enough, resulting in depression, self-blame, low self-esteem, remorse, anxiety, confusion, frustration, self-denial and other emotions.

In short, when we are unhappy, if we can't effectively self-reflect on why this is happening, but indulge in blaming others and ourselves, it will be difficult for us to change the status quo.

A friend sent a dose of good medicine that can cure human suffering, that is: realize that you are sick and actively find a cure for it. That is, through reflection and awareness, awareness of one's own problems and responsibilities, finding corresponding change strategies, changing the pattern of failure in the past, and taking positive actions, the results can be changed.

I always believe that people can change the status quo and make themselves and results better and better. Only whether he is willing to realize the difference in his responsibilities. I need to find out the reason why my current state is stagnant now, and I need to think about my career and relationship. And when you realize that you are sick, it is precisely when people feel pain and discomfort that they are most likely to do. People know themselves, explore themselves, feel themselves, and often do it when people are unhappy. For example, feeling negative emotions and encountering people and things we don't like.

Spiritual teachers often say things like "everything is the best arrangement" and "those who don't like it are here to do your homework", but in fact, these words are meant to tell us that all the people and things that make us miserable have positive meanings, and they appear to make us better understand ourselves, reflect on ourselves, and change ourselves. i.e. to better help us recognize that we are sick. Those negative emotions are here to help us, and negative emotions are to remind us to see what is stuck inside, and then we can take out the stuck things and make our hearts clearer and stronger.

Those we don't like are here to do our homework. Others are a mirror of us. It reminds us to see how we use mechanisms such as empathy and projection, and how we transfer our initial attachment relationship to someone else. Others will be an effective mirror of us to reflect our problems, allowing us to see ourselves in others and improve, making ourselves more tolerant, kind, and relatable.

Let yourself go. Absolute mental health, like absolute physical health, is a bubble. We all have illness, but being sick does not make us blame and feel inferior, but makes us live better and happier.