I don't know why, the essay collection is less and less persistent to write down, I originally wanted to write a story of my own with enthusiasm, but now I can't find a reason to persevere, I don't know how long it takes to finish one each time, and suddenly I think back to when I was alone, I sat quietly in front of the computer, enjoying the loneliness and tranquility.

But the current pace of life is painless and careless, so that I gradually lost my original direction, and I don't know where to go.

I've been with Ling'er for more than seven months, but I haven't really understood her until now, every time I expect, every time I am disappointed, I don't want to think about it, I don't want to expect too much, because I really don't know what I want, maybe I really have experienced too much, and I don't look forward to who I have to be with, my heart is tired, and I am light, I have long lost the enthusiasm and romance at that time, plus her lukewarmness, I don't know how long this relationship can last, maybe I am really only suitable for one person!

Mom asked her to call her to come to my house for dinner today, but I was indifferent, I didn't shout, I don't know why, I don't know how long I can last if I go on like this, she also said that we are always sticking together, sometimes I really don't know what to say, only on weekends we are occasionally together, this is the so-called always sticking together, now I have to say that Ling'er's playfulness is indeed a bit big, at first I always thought I could change, in fact I can't change anything.

Speaking from the heart, I was so resolute at the beginning, but now when I was asked by a friend last time, my answer was hesitant, and I don't know what I thought in my heart.

Maybe I'm thinking too much! Too many words of concern are useless to her, yesterday I pushed the dinner and wanted to accompany her, but she suddenly said that she went out to eat and play with others, and did not tell me in advance, she waited at home alone until she left at twelve o'clock, and she didn't want to say too much.

So I'm basically getting used to it, getting used to her changes, or the same sentence, after going through more, everything seems less important, and I will always go back to when I was used to being alone.

It was a feeling of loneliness and serenity.

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