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It is said that in the face of great grief, the brain activates an emergency self-protection mechanism.

This mechanism, like archiving, stores the pain that people are experiencing and feeling at the moment, bit by bit, so that people do not collapse.

But this mechanism is only temporary, maybe one day later, in an inexplicable moment, these painful experiences that have long been forgotten by others will suddenly read the file, and then come the pain and sadness that have been sealed up and have not had time to vent.

Gu Xinyue didn't know if she had reached this state, and now facing An Xia and Gu Muzhi, as well as the people who had hurriedly mourned Zheng Jiangong in the past few days, it seemed to be such a state.

She knew that the man who once loved her the most and cherished her the most in this world would never come back.

He lay quietly in the cold freezer at the back of the mourning hall, motionless.

Even if Gu Xinyue went to tell him now that she was willing to marry him, he would not have any reaction.

It's the feeling that people are gone.

Everything is frozen and may never see the light of day.

is also frozen in the most passionate love of his life.

Everything froze at this moment, Gu Xinyue didn't feel grief and sadness, she knew what she had to do, and calmly put everything in order.

But she never shed a single tear.

Is this ruthless?

Gu Xinyue also asked herself this question.

He will never come back, no more his hearty smile and honest laughter, no more his imagination of the fairytale future of the two of them, no more promises and prayers such as "I will definitely marry you".

Yes, just quietly, and there is no follow-up.

But why...... I didn't even have a tear?

Gu Xinyue felt that a certain place in her heart suddenly became empty, and felt if there was anything different in this world after losing a life.

She can feel a lot, a lot.

But I just didn't feel the slightest pain.

When An Xia and Gu Muzhi came, she knew.

She didn't get up, didn't say hello too much, kept her head down, and went on with what she thought she should continue to do, nothing more.

Anxia was very distressed when she saw her like this.

But Gu Xinyue herself couldn't feel anything.

She didn't think about whether Zheng Jiangong's sudden death meant a turning point for the relationship between Di Huaiying and the three of them.

She didn't think about it, at the last moment before Zheng Jiangong took his last breath, what flashed in front of her eyes was whether she was wearing a wedding dress for him, or what she would say in front of his spirit.

Nothing.

It's like he's never been here!

Gu Xinyue was so calm that she felt a little frightened.

Why is it so bland?

Is he really that unimportant to me?

The more she thought about it, the more vague Gu Xinyue's feelings about herself became, she only knew that Zheng Jiangong was a poor person, after he left, I am afraid that no one in this world would think of him, and even if it was herself, it was likely that she would not miss him with love.

The gratitude and guilt of the past will soon be far away from this world with a fire, leaving no trace.

Such a deep love for a person, in the end, is just such a result?

There is really no point in being a human being.

In this life, if you come alone, it's just that, and you have to go alone, no matter how lively you are in life, no matter how wonderful your life is, what's the point?

These questions about whether Zheng Jiangong is or have nothing to do with Zheng Jiangong occupy far more time in Gu Xinyue's mind than Zheng Jiangong himself.

Her eyes shone with flames that kept burning and extinguishing, but in her heart, there were only questions.

An Xia and Gu Muzhi glanced at each other, Gu Muzhi's face was solemn, An Xia didn't know if he was the same as himself, feeling sorry for this eldest sister.

"Eldest sister, these days...... Have you been there all the time? ”

Gu Xinyue nodded, and the movement of burning paper in her hand stopped.

She raised her head and looked at Zheng Jiangong.

"Hmm...... I've always been ...... In the past few days, everyone has come and gone, and no one has left a word for him. ”

Anxia's heart was clenched by these words, and she didn't know what was stinging her.

Is it the inexplicable sadness revealed in Gu Xinyue's words, or is it that Zheng Jiangong is such a kind person, but he has only fallen to such a point after his death?

Is the world really so indifferent?

Anxia was speechless.

She watched Gu Xinyue finish speaking, lowered her head and continued to refill the paper money into the brazier.

Gu Muzhi finally opened his mouth.

"Do you feel indebted to him that you're here with him?"

"Muzhi!"

An Xia was taken aback by Gu Muzhi's words.

She felt that asking such questions at such a time would only seem to cause deeper harm.

Unexpectedly, Gu Xinyue still stopped her movements and raised her head again, just like just now.

"Really?"

As she spoke, she shook her head again: "I don't know ...... either"

Bow your head again, and the flames are even stronger.

"I have known him for so many years, from when he was an ignorant teenager, to the director of the bureau who punished evil and promoted good, and then to the lonely and suspended...... Finally ......"

Gu Xinyue suddenly laughed softly: "I thought I was looking forward to a comeback, but I didn't expect that it was not a good person who should be rewarded, but a blessing." ”

Gu Xinyue sighed, and the action of resuming the paper looked so skillful.

"Do you say, do I owe him?"

An Xia hurriedly blurted out, "I don't owe it." ”

But at the same time, Gu Muzhi on the other side was nodding: "Owe." ”

An Xia looked at Gu Muzhi again complainingly.

Gu Muzhi didn't mean to change his words.

Gu Xinyue nodded: "I think I owe it too...... I just don't know if it's in my previous life or in this life...... From the first day I met him, I knew that he liked me, but he never said it, just kept hiding in the dark and secretly watching me, and at that time, I owed him ...... time."

Another piece of paper burned, and Gu Xinyue continued: "Later...... He confessed to me, and I vaguely agreed, and then ...... He had such a beautiful blueprint for the future of the two of us, but I thought ...... But it's not his ......."

An Xia turned around and looked at Di Huaiying, who had been silent.

Di Huaiying's eyes never left Gu Xinyue for a moment.

An Xia didn't know what he was thinking, but she understood that the following words must be related to Di Huaiying.

"So...... What I owe him afterwards should be the truth...... I deceived him, I didn't love him, no matter how much I was touched by his love, but at the end of the day...... It's just deception, because I've long ago given my heart to another person who is also deceiving me and deceiving myself. ”

Di Huaiying clenched her fists, and An Xia didn't know if Gu Xinyue could hear the movement behind her.

Gu Xinyue looked at the flames and was distracted: "This matter ...... I owe him, but I owe it to another person, the same...... The other person owes me too, the three of us...... They all owe each other. ”

Listening to these mutterings, Anxia thought that she understood, but she didn't dare to be sure.

A love involves three people, deceiving each other, bonding with each other, this kind of thing, in which you can't see clearly, stay out of the matter, and you can't see the way clearly.

Today, it was the first time that Anxia felt that the words of relief were so powerless.

At this time, what does Gu Xinyue need most?

Is it forgiveness in her heart, or is it the person behind her who has been silent to give her a brave hug?

Nothing seems right.

The world has the law of both, and it lives up to its promise.

A person who never knows the truth, but leaves with regret and dreams that he indulges in.

And the other two, how are they going to face each other in the future?

"If Zheng Jiangong is still alive, how long are you going to lie to him?"

An Xia was maddened by Gu Muzhi's questions again and again.

Every word he said now, in Anxia's opinion, was adding fuel to the fire.

"Gu Muzhi!"

Gu Muzhi was still unmoved, and after asking, he continued to look at Gu Xinyue silently.

"Does it still make sense to say this?"

Gu Muzhi seemed to have known that Gu Xinyue would answer like this: "At least for those who are still alive, there is." ”

Gu Xinyue looked at her younger brother for the first time today.

An Xia didn't know what her eyes were, she fantasized that in Gu Xinyue's eyes, there would be more confusion, guilt, heartache or anger.

She could only vaguely see a slightly haggard face in Gu Muyi's fleeting gaze.

"The living are deceiving themselves."

When Di Huaiying heard this, the muscles on her cheeks tensed.

Gu Muzhi looked at Gu Xinyue: "Since you care so much about the deception you once had, why don't you understand who you should tell the truth to?" ”

An Xia saw Gu Xinyue tilt her head slightly, which seemed to mean confusion.

"Do you think it's appropriate to say that here?"

Gu Muzhi was noncommittal: "If Zheng Jiangong really loves you so much, the most reassuring thing he can't worry about before he leaves should be how you will face your feelings in the future, if it were me, I would like to hear An Xia boldly say that she will love and live seriously in the future, instead of arranging the future for me, carrying debts and regrets, for the rest of my life." ”

Gu Xinyue actually sneered.

It seems that at times like this, the more it makes sense, the more ridiculous it sounds.

But Gu Muzhi used his firm eyes to fight back against Gu Xinyue.

In the middle of the night, the mourning hall was silent, and no words could be heard, only the fainter and fainter flames moaned.

Suddenly, Gu Xinyue lowered her head and filled the brazier with a piece of paper again.

I don't know if this reaction is acquiescence or tired of arguing.

Gu Muzhi got up slowly: "Gu Xinyue, no matter what, you will not marry Zheng Jiangong, there is indeed no difference between deceiving a lifetime and deceiving a lifetime, but his first life has passed, you ......"

Gu Muzhi looked at Di Huaiying: "Your first life has just begun, don't take two more lives." ”

After saying this, Gu Xinyue didn't move, and even Di Huaiying behind her looked at the ground in distraction.

Gu Muzhi turned around and walked outside.

An Xia hurriedly asked, "Where are you going?" ”

Gu Muzhi didn't look back: "Court!" ”

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