"What if—"

"Don't make unnecessary assumptions. Please go. ”

"What if I'm not Shangguan Yunqing? What am I doing to atone for her and for myself? She said calmly.

He was stunned and turned to look at her.

"The one who returned to Shangguan Mansion two years ago is no longer Yunqing. I haven't forgotten anything, losing my memory is nothing more than a way to disguise my identity. She trembled and wiped tears from her face.

He thought it was incredible, but he thought it was the one that best explained all the changes.

"You're not Shangguan Yunqing? So who are you? ”

"I'm her twin sister, Yun Dan."

"I don't care who you are, and you don't have to talk to me about the affairs of your Shangguan family." He didn't want to hear it anymore, perhaps, he didn't know it himself, he just wanted to protect her identity in this way, pretending to be Mrs. Xiangye, which was a big crime.

"Two years ago, I killed Shangguan Yunqing and replaced her as Mrs. Yun of Shangguan Mansion. That's my secret. She ignored his stop and continued.

He panicked a little, looked around, and said, "I'm not interested in your secrets. If you want to continue to live, you should bring this secret to the coffin, instead of telling people casually - could it be that you are kind to me, because you are afraid that you will be offended when the secret is revealed in the future, Shangguan Bo, and you want me to help you? ”

She looked at him and laughed miserably: "I have long put life and death out of the way, if it weren't for the shackles in my heart, if it weren't for the children under my knees, I would have gone to Huangquan to confess." All I can do is try to make the people around me better off because of me. ”

"We don't need your charity. I can assume that I have not heard what you told me today, so leave quickly. He was really afraid that she would say something to him again.

He carried the child away, but she followed behind and said in pieces, as if she had fallen into some evil.

"I was helped by a benefactor in my most difficult time, but I couldn't repay the favor, but I owed him too much. The squire is very much like my important benefactor, I don't know if I will have the opportunity to see him again in this life, just because I am atoning for my past sins, okay? ”

He stopped and smiled, almost hearing the sound of his heart being hollowed out again......

It turns out that this is the reason why she approached them, and again because he looks like so-and-so......

"Don't say it, it's because of this face, is it the tragedy of Huang's life just because this face looks like a person! I'm not the benefactor you're looking for, and you don't need to transfer your extra gratitude to our father and son, right now, give me, get out! ”

"I have the same face as my sister and twins, how can I not know your suffering? But, at least you don't have to be like me, all you have to bear is unwarranted hatred, I am afraid that people who have been killed by my sister will cry blood to come to me every day, no matter how much I do, I can't make up for those who have been hurt, I will always be like a shadow, everything I have does not belong to me, no matter how sincere I am, all I get is other people's doubts and speculations, squire, do you understand? She shivered and coughed hard.

His whole body was stiff, how could he not understand? How could he not understand the coldness of being a shadow? He can accept the eyes of anyone looking down at him from above, the only thing he can't tolerate is another him in Lantian's eyes, but Lantian is gone, and he has become another him in the eyes of another person.

Is this a curse? He really wants to tear this face of himself!

"I know, I know that I have the identity of Yunqing, no one will like me, the world is so big, there is no place for me, I am like a soul in someone else's shell, there is nowhere to rely on. It wasn't until I saw Shirou one day and remembered the peaceful times with my old people that I felt that there was still light in my life, and I knew what I should do to calm myself......" She sat down tremblingly on the stool, tears welling up in her eyes.

He didn't leave, but stood under the eaves and watched her dreamy talk.

"It's the only place I can come, it's only here that I feel like myself, I see that there is a smile on me, I know he likes me because I am me, I don't have to be questioned and I don't have to be a shadow of someone else—I just—I can catch my breath, I feel like I'm really alive—" She covered her face and cried like a child.

He looked at her and smiled slowly, laughing so hard that tears came out of his eyes, and he was so smiling that he couldn't help himself.

"In this world, there are even more ridiculous people than me, wonderful! It's wonderful! "If he wasn't holding the child at the moment, he would really be clapped in his hands.

"But at least, you get respect and kindness, squire, at least, you can get a person's love from beginning to end, don't you?" She asked seriously, without malice.

Love from start to finish?

He laughed louder and shed more tears more unbridledly, the gentlest and most brutal sarcasm he had ever heard.

The child in her arms had probably never seen his father laugh so heartily, and he even giggled along with him.

"You and I are ridiculous, but your ridiculousness lies in the fact that you continue the hatred of others, while my ridiculousness is forwarding undeserved love. I'd rather she hate me all the time than for her to transfer her unreleased love to me, and at the same time let the Holy God give me a marriage that I can't refuse, and face this wife every day who treats me as someone else! ”

She cried, "How so? Although I have never met Princess Lantian, I know that she has had you in her heart since she married you. ”

He just sneered: "You also said that you have never met her, how can you conclude this?" ”

"Isn't that the name she gave you?"

"So what? The poem "For You" comes from Li Yishan, she not only learned from the first emperor, but also liked his poems so she took the name from them, her own name is from a poem by Li Yishan, what's strange. ”

She frowned and said softly: "Shilang is the top of the civil and military ranks, don't you know the meaning of this poem?" ”

"What if you know? It's just a sick-free complaint from a short-sighted woman's boudoir. ”

"How can it be a disease-free complaint? Doesn't all the grievances of women in this world come from men? For the infinite beauty of the cloud screen, Fengcheng is afraid of the spring festival. married a golden beetle son-in-law for no reason, and lived up to the incense and greed of the early dynasty. The squire didn't hear the resentment at all, was it because you weren't with her? ”

He looked at the child in his arms who was giggling at him, and for so many years, he had never delved into the meaning of the name.

Impossible, she has always regarded him as the person who abandoned her back then, how could she have feelings for him?

"Furthermore, with the stubborn and proud character of Princess Lantian, how could she entrust her life because she mistakenly stabbed the squire with a sword? Master Zong once inadvertently told me, saying that Princess Lantian only has brother and sister affection for the person like the squire, and there is no love between men and women, and the saint once intended to give marriage, Princess Lantian was the first to refuse, saying how could she marry her brother - they have always been commensurate with brother and sister, and the lord also knows this, if you don't believe it, the squire can ask him, he will never lie to you. ”

He was completely confused, and said stupidly: "Impossible, impossible......"

"How could it be impossible, if the squire has a heart, can he stop and think about it carefully, Princess Lantian, has she ever said that she loves someone else, has she personally admitted that the squire is just a shadow of another person in her heart? …… Or is this so-called ridiculous everything just the squire expands and extends it, maybe she confused you at first sight, just like the first time I saw the squire, but people are not plants and trees, every eye expression has its own soul, how can it be ruthlessly replaced? ”

He frantically recalled, recalling the few conversations he had with her in the past two years, she really didn't say it, she never said it from beginning to end, it seemed that every time he quarreled and argued, it was because he picked the words first, he first treated himself as a shadow, he always treated himself as a shadow......

She said softly: "Princess Lantian must be resentful of the waiter's thoughts, so she always quarrels with the waiter - but, life is short for decades, and the years of being able to know each other are even shorter, but the two of them put the time they can stay together on the meaningless anger, so why bother?" ”

He stared at the weak woman in a daze, and the blood in his whole body seemed to have forgotten to flow because of grief......

——

I burst into tears.

Thinking about this world, there was once a face very similar to me, with a face full of pride and stubbornness, and scolded the beloved who was within reach in front of him.

Aunt Lantian, why can't you be weak, be gentle, sit down with Master Huang and talk about your heart, untie the knot, and slowly tell him that the person in his heart is him, and tell him that he is never someone else's shadow.

Yun Niang is also so ruthless, why should she tell Master Huang such a cruel truth? Let him always hate the misunderstanding, at least he doesn't have to regret it like this.

And the old man Huang in front of him was also slightly red, immersed in the memories of that time-

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told the squire this. However, I don't want you to misunderstand her intentions all the time, you have never been a shadow in his heart. She fought for her life to give birth, and to continue the incense for the waiter, would she gamble her life for someone she didn't love? She said sadly.

He looked at the child in his arms and muttered, "Maybe this is her punishment for me, and I will spend the rest of my life in repentance for my youthful and ignorant anger." She scolded right, I, Huang Shanrou, am not a thing, everything is my own fault. ”

She wept to herself, full of thoughts, speechless and choked.

"You're really not Shangguan Yunqing?" Seeing that she was sad and speechless, he asked.

She shook her head.

"Then, whose child did you bring from outside?"

"I was born and raised." She said softly.