When the next classmate happily went up to perform, a paper ball was thrown from behind me, I looked back, and did not see anything unusual, curiously opened the note, and saw a few words scribbled on it: "Your singing voice is so good, everyone else sings ugly, just you sing so good."

There's no way if you don't let me praise, I've already recorded with my mobile phone, and I can listen to it every day with headphones plugged in when I go back. - Dai Long. ”

"Recording? Oh my God, this kind of us is really a little scary, and we still listen to it every day? It's horrible......"

I tore up the note and threw it into the trash can next to me, as if nothing had happened, and quietly watched the performance of my classmates on stage, just wanting to listen to the lecture and not pay too much attention to it.

Someone in the class rumored that Dai Long's family was very rich, and I didn't pay much attention to these until this afternoon, I deeply understood, it turned out that this guy did have some money in his family, and I didn't know how much.

When I came back from lunch at noon, I found that there were more boxes in the drawer, and when I took it out, it looked like a learning machine?

A post-it note on the box with a few words written on it: "The boot code is your birthday, and the song you sang is recorded in it." ”

What the? There is a song I sing......

This success piqued my interest, and my brain was so nervous that I didn't pay much attention to what I was singing in the morning.

I put the box away and wanted to open it when I got home, because today happened to be Friday, and I was about to have a holiday, and my mood suddenly became nervous and expectant.

After waiting anxiously for several hours, and squeezing into the bus home, I opened the box and saw the electronic device inside the box—a learning machine about the size of a small notebook, still touchscreened.

I remember the year before last, my father also bought a learning machine for my brother Lingming, which was backgammon, a dictionary-sized, black-and-white screen, buttons, able to look up dictionaries and English words, and it cost more than 500.

Then the learning machine I hold in my hand now is estimated to be in the thousands.

Curious, I pressed the power button, typed in my birthday, and sure enough, I unlocked the lock and saw a picture version of the icon inside.

I took the touchscreen pen, clicked on it, and really opened up the icon, and I saw the color palette and some simple drawing tools.

I haven't drawn on this kind of electronic screen yet, so I picked up the touch screen pen, clicked on the red, thickened the diameter of the pen once, drew a circle, then changed it to yellow, drew a large circle, then changed it to a green one, and wrapped it up and drew another circle......

I had a lot of fun like this, and after a while, a huge colorful lollipop appeared in front of me, similar to the one Ling Ming gave me last time.

I picked it up and admired it, and I felt good and satisfied.

After emptying the scroll, I continued to draw what I wanted to draw, and for the first time I knew that I could draw like this, without erasers, and I could erase it so cleanly.

When I got home, I slipped into my room and closed the door.

Sitting in front of the desk, looking for a long time, only to find my singing, holding my breath, with the stylus to press the play button, I listened carefully to my singing, the sound from the machine, for a while, I felt a little strange, but very familiar feeling.

In this world, in addition to repeaters, there is such advanced equipment that can record sounds.

I looked at the music list, and it was a lot more music than a cassette tape, and it was very new, and there were many songs in it that I hadn't listened to.

My original narrow cognition was suddenly broken, and I began to understand how ignorant I was.

Poverty can affect many things, some of which can be compensated for with imagination, and some of which cannot.

I used the learning machine, listened to the songs all afternoon, then pressed the shutdown button, stuffed it into the box, put it in a drawer, and was ready to return it to him next week.

Then I opened the heavy schoolbag, took out the textbooks of each subject, put them neatly, opened the homework notebook, and wrote this week's homework frantically.

For the first time, I felt that the rich and the poor were so different, and I was very jealous, but I was very inferior. Only by constantly writing these assignments can I deceive myself, although my family is not as rich as them, but at least, my grades are good.

When I was a child, the poverty of my family would cause some defects to my child's young mind, forcing me to get ahead, uncontrollable inferiority complex and depression, and always feeling inferior.

Therefore, they will find ways to attract the attention of teachers and classmates, and some will choose to be an out-and-out bad child, smoking, drinking, and fighting...... If you can't do it, you will become a thorn in the teacher's side and a thorn in the flesh, so as to win the attention of the teachers, even if this attention is constant beating and scolding, it is better than living transparently.

There are also those like me, who want to use good grades to attract the attention of teachers, want to be the one who is noticed, don't want to be an obscure star, just want to be the moon, and preferably, be the sun!

It was also when I wrote the above paragraph today that I understood why I always pushed myself so hard when I was a child, it turned out that it was all because of low self-esteem.

I thought I was willing to express it because of self-confidence, but self-confidence can be disguised, and inferiority will always be shrouded in my heart, like an endless haze.

In those years, I smiled very reluctantly, tried to live like the sun, did not express my negative emotions easily, and always asked myself to be the most positive one, in fact, I was afraid, and I was afraid that I had been silent because I lost the opportunity.

The learning machine in the drawer was a life I couldn't touch, and I longed for it, but the flame of jealousy burned my self-esteem, piercing my heart like a fish bone that I couldn't pull out, and the strong sting made me uneasy.

I don't want to admit some things, but I am mostly reluctant and disguised, thinking that if I don't face it, I won't find out, and I won't be sad.

At this moment, I really felt inferior.

I decided that I would work harder in the future, and I couldn't let my old parents tell me that they liked that thing and which gadget they liked...... When they told me that they wanted to buy it, I could only touch my embarrassed pockets, and in this way, I would really feel incompetent and uncomfortable.

Children from poor families are in charge of their families at an early age, and poor students do not have a good school education, a quality of life, and no right to choose......

This Friday afternoon, I really couldn't sleep, and I felt very uncomfortable, but I didn't know how to express it, so I could only force myself to copy several units of words, and my mood calmed down a lot.

The current life is not something I can choose, life and life are given by my parents, but I can still create the future life, I can't give up, come on.

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