My name is Xia Yu, I come from the bottom of the countryside, and my parents pinned their hopes on me, thinking that I could be admitted to university, which was a blessing they had cultivated for several lifetimes. Every time I go home, I always keep the delicious food and pet me like a treasure.

My father died in my sophomore year of college and accidentally fell down the mountain and died on the spot. My mother regarded me as the only pillar and lived for me. I have thought about it, I want to learn professional knowledge, come out and find a good job, so that my mother can enjoy it.

My parents are so good to me that I am ashamed to think about it, how can I be worthy of them when I am so dilapidated?

I had to study hard, and not only did I get the Honors Award in my class, but I also won a lot of scholarships. I have never been absent from all the classes in the university, and I have become the free meal taker and answering staff in our dormitory.

I'm willing to do this kind of thing, as if this is the only way to make them like me and be kind enough to open the door for me when I forgot to bring my key.

When I first started my freshman year, I didn't have a good relationship with the dormitory, and they said that I would only die studying, not dressing up, and looking at the dirt to death.

Where do I have the money to buy those lipsticks? Just one can cost me most of my living expenses.

Once, my roommate was putting on makeup next to me and getting ready to hang out. I was looking at English words in bed, and she thought I was bored, so she told me to go down and help her get the mirror.

After reading a book for a long time, my eyes were uncomfortable, so I went down. Her facial features are already good-looking, and her makeup is almost the same as that of a fairy, I can't help but admire: "Your lips are so beautiful, what kind of lipstick do you use?" ”

She said a list of famous brands that I didn't understand, those brands, at that time I seemed to be listening to a book from heaven, I didn't understand at all, I just remember she said: "This lipstick of his family is not bad, it is more moisturizing than other homes, I will send you a link in a while." Before that, you can try it out with me and see if the color works for you. ”

Where is there a girl who doesn't love beauty? I picked it up and applied it carefully, I didn't wear makeup, but I was amazed in my roommate's eyes, she said, "Xia Yu, you are simply a beauty!" This color you paint so beautifully! Buy it, I can teach you makeup for free! ”

Maybe it was time for me to change from then on, my heart was no longer as pure as it used to be, and I knew the beauty of grooming my appearance.

I went out to work as a tutor, and after a month, I finally bought the lipstick, and I was excited to tell my roommate the news. Who knows, she looked down on her face: "Ah! You're only buying this now? Their family has already released new products, you see this, it's even more beautiful! ”

"I worked as a tutor for a month to buy it." I'm a little aggrieved, and I have a little inferiority, why do others easily get what I want?

Money limits her imagination, and I understand from her expression that she has no idea why it takes a month of hard work to buy a lipstick.

I smiled, in order to alleviate the embarrassment, "Actually, it's nothing, I just like this color, and I've also seen the new ones in their house, and I don't think it suits me." ”

That night, I cried all night under the covers, and I began to know the benefits of money, the world of rich people, that I could not have imagined.

At first, seeing the things on their faces makes them look glamorous and saves them from having to wait in long lines in the cafeteria to buy food. For the sake of my poor vanity, I also went to buy it, but it was the worst quality, and after a day of applying it, I had red spots on my face.

When my roommate saw me like this, he said, "Xia Yu, why don't you use mine, I'll help you when you go out on a date." The ones you buy are ruining your face. ”

I kept silent and threw it away the next day, and I haven't put on makeup since then, until I graduated from college.

Only that lipstick, I kept it, but I didn't wear it, as if I was angry, I felt that I deserved the best, and this lipstick is the best proof of this.

After graduating, I earned some extra money and brought my mother to Rongcheng to play for a few days, I pointed to the Erte Hotel and said to her: "Your daughter will work here in the future, and I am the only student in our major who has been admitted." ”

My mother burst into tears, "I knew you were ...... to fight"

I lied to my mom at the time, because there was a second round of interviews, and I said this in order to reassure her.

Living up to my expectations, I made it to the final interview, and this time, I met a turning point in my fate - Bai Manyun.

She was the youngest and most beautiful of all the examiners, and although she was so young, she could tell that the other examiners cared about her. She has a very good temperament, and when I look at me, I can't help but feel like an ugly duckling, unworthy of looking at her.

She called my name and smiled at me gently, "Xia Yu, it's your turn." ”

I am not bad at professionalism, but at that minute, my mind became blank, and I kept thinking about one sentence: she is so beautiful!

Luckily, she just asked me a very simple question: What do you expect from salary?

I would actually say there are no expectations! How low can you go when you work in Erte? In order not to look too rough, I said: "It is my greatest wish to stay in Erte, and the salary is not too demanding." ”

I could feel the disdain of the job seekers behind me, I was telling the truth, none of them believed me. It wasn't until after the interview that there were still people muttering.

At this time, Sister Manyun didn't know where to come out, she patted me on the shoulder and said, "Don't pay attention to those people, I believe you are telling the truth." ”

"Why?" I asked subconsciously.

"Because of your eyes." She said with a smile and scratched my eyelids, which were too gentle to speak.

After working with her as her assistant, she was too good to say anything to me. Almost hand-in-hand taught me how to make up, taught me how to get along with others, taught me how to dress up......

She treated me like my own sister.

I couldn't figure out how many catties of lard I was blinded by, and I would actually hurt someone like Sister Manyun. Who am I to be jealous of her? She was already better than me, better than me!

But it's too late to regret it, and when I saw Song Ziming, I began to think crookedly. I kept thinking, if this man could be mine, what would I worry about for the rest of my life? How can I still apply those inferior makeup?

Coupled with his own charm, I began to collude with Bai Luting to hurt Sister Manyun.

I learned afterwards that those clumsy performances just became a warming agent for the relationship between them, even if there was no Sister Manyun and Song Ziming, a god-like character, they would not have taken a fancy to someone like me.

My heart has begun to get lost, even if I retreat to the next best, I have not thought about Duke! In fact, after thinking about it, the Duke people are not bad! Studying abroad for a doctorate, the ability to work is one of the best, and he is a good person.

But I got lost in the word money and found Song Mingxin, which also became the beginning of my misfortune.

At first, I still had illusions about Song Ziming, but after getting along with Ming Xintian for a long time, I was tempted.

When was the most complete fall? It should be the year of Sister Manyun's accident, my mother died of illness, and he accompanied me to my hometown to do a funeral for my mother.

When my mother died, I was so sad that I cried all night in front of the mourning hall, and Song Mingxin cried with me, and when I fainted, I heard him say, "Don't be afraid, I will take care of you in the future." ”

It is such a sentence that has made me remember it for so long, and I am willing to be by his side and become a bed companion who comes and goes at any time.

Relatives and friends said that I found a good boyfriend, very envious of me, the day my mother went up the mountain, we stood in the crowd, I cried like words, he hugged me and said, "Don't cry, the Great Wall has been cried down by you." ”

I became a real orphan and stayed by his side wholeheartedly.

We once had a very beautiful relationship, which made me mistakenly think that he really loved me, until I saw him and He Huan enter the hotel, I didn't know what I was!

I remembered Sister Manyun's kindness to me, felt that she was killed by me, and also wanted to go to Xijiang to end herself.

But when I met Lu Ting, she talked to me, gave me an apartment and a job, and told me to be an upright person, give birth to a child, and live a good life.

I also have a little hope of life for the sake of my children. I once secretly went to Mingxin downstairs to see him, and saw him and He Huan in and out of pairs, I was completely dead, on their wedding day, I stood on the balcony for a long time, wanting to jump off the building, but the child in my belly suddenly kicked me.

Yes, even if I don't want to live, how can I deprive him of the right to live?

When I saw Sister Manyun's child - Bai Anzhi, that elf-like child, how could I not like it? I want to have a baby as cute as he is.

The doctor said that my fetal position was very good and that I could have a smooth delivery, which reassured me. It was said that the due date was only two days away, so let me walk more.

As soon as I was happy, I went to the department store to buy baby products. Those cute little clothes make my eyes shine.

I caught a glimpse of He Huan and Mingxin, she also had a big belly, she should have come to buy clothes for the children, her maternity clothes were very beautiful, with milky lace edges. Mingxin was afraid that passers-by would touch her, so he carefully protected her.

I smiled nonchalantly, laughing at myself for being nosy, I touched my stomach and said to the child, "Baby, even if you don't have a father, your mother will love you well." ”

It didn't take long for He Huan to see me too, and we looked at each other, somehow, I felt that she knew that my child was Mingxin.

I bought my things, thinking that it would be convenient to take a taxi from the back door, so I walked to the back with my things. After walking a few steps, he was pushed downstairs at once.

I saw the familiar milky lace edge, and I smiled and thought to myself: "Child, it seems that your father doesn't want you to give birth!"

Forget it, if it's gone, it's gone, if I'm not in this world, what is the point of living if a child doesn't have a father and mother?

I don't even have the heart to protect my calf for the last time, and I let him drain from my body......

woke up in the hospital, the child should have been born, held in the hands of the nurse, this child, really strong enough, in order to survive, there have been several twists and turns. Since it is his choice to live, how to live is also what he should bear.

Lu Ting lay on top of me and cried breathlessly, and Sister Manyun kept wiping her tears on the side, only I was the happiest. Life itself is already very tiring, I have long wanted to get out of this world, without him, my shell-like life would have been enough.

I could feel my body lightening, as if it was floating in the air, not landing, the cry by the bedside seemed to come from another world, I gradually lost my hearing, I saw my child, mouth wide open in swaddling clothes, hands scratching and dancing in the air, I really wanted to hug him.

At the last moment of my life, I still thought about Song Mingxin, the man who brought me so much luck and misfortune, occupied most of my life and made me a ghost in a foreign land.

But if someone asks me if I hate him, I don't hate, everything has come to this day, and I am to blame! I don't hate or complain, I just pity my newborn child......

I didn't finish what I said to Lu Ting, what I want to say is: I don't blame Mingxin anyway, even if he doesn't want me to live in the way of his husband and wife, I don't blame him.

However, give me another chance, I don't want to fall in love with Song Mingxin again, or, skip Song Ziming, and don't let him mistakenly think that the person I love is Song Ziming.

It's good, it's simple, I only love Song Mingxin.

Life was like a big dream, and I went back to where I had first come, like dust burned out of a fire, blown away by the wind, and nowhere to be found......