Han Yi's diary:

After all, I couldn't help but pick up the pen again.

Xiaoshuang, before you know it, we are about to graduate again, and I still remember this time of the third year of high school, of course, when you haven't left yet. When Xiaolu was still alive and well, when we were still together. At that time, we were really naïve, thinking that the most uncomfortable thing in life was the college entrance examination. I thought we would be together forever after the college entrance examination. thought that rejecting Xiaolu was still a friend, but in the end, he couldn't even do it in one world.

Hu Lei's kid has come out, don't worry, in addition to losing a lot of weight, the rest is okay, and he hasn't become withdrawn or so heartless, and he left me a letter before leaving, maybe after Xiaolu left, he experienced so much and became affectionate, and I don't know if it's good or bad.

Are you doing well at Peking University, after seeing that letter, I am getting more and more sad, and I miss you more and more, your character should be very popular, but you are so stupid, will you be deceived, will you not be able to keep up with the progress of your Peking University, what should you do if you can't write your graduation thesis without me by your side......

When we meet again one day, we must show you all these diaries, because these words are all things that I want to say to you, and we can't drink what you say.

I had a little cold two days ago, and it was okay to leave me alone, just drink saliva, but Sister Xue'er and Ziqi still have to come over to take care of me, it's been half a month, and after I got better, I ate the food cooked by Sister Xue'er and was about to perforate my intestines, which is just a fight with Sisi's cooking skills. You can't let her see this diary, or you won't see me alive. Lin Ziqi's cooking is very delicious, and sure enough, the children of poor families are in charge early.

It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't had time to eat the meal you had cooked for me, was it a delicacy or a perforated intestine......

After Han Yi finished writing his diary, he thought about it and deleted the paragraph where Lin Ziqi and Gu Xue took care of themselves, because if the two of them could really meet one day, if she still liked herself, she would be ......jealous.

Han Yi smiled, he was really worried about Xiaoshuang's studies, she was not very smart, and studying well was the result of hard work, which was very similar to Lin Ziqi. But in the kind of place where Peking University is full of top students...... Han Yi was really afraid that Xiaoshuang would be under too much pressure to bear.

When I am lonely and helpless, I really want you to be by my side, but when I want you to be by my side, I am afraid that you will be alone and helpless.

Although the graduation season of that year was not as leisurely as the current leisurely life, it was the most precious time for me.

It was not long before Han Yi and Eye Cream were together, and the two were even in a period of love.

The emotions of first love keep the body temperature of two people at 37.2 degrees Celsius every day, and it is still the kind of time when they will secretly hook each other's hands with their fingers during class and laugh for half a class. But it is also the most stressful time in the third year of high school.

At that time, Han Yi and Eye Cream were not people who didn't take the college entrance examination seriously, and the two agreed to go to the same university, and then they would study in the same graduate school.

Put away the emotions of love, they understand that the biggest enemy in front of the two is the college entrance examination, and with the goal of being admitted to Peking University together, the two of them worked hard. Looking at the rising grade rankings of the two people, Han Yi has a better vision and expectation for the future.

Fortunately, Han Yi and Yan Shuang were originally at the same table, and when they were tired of studying, Han Yi would look up at Yan Shuang, who was studying seriously, and suddenly felt full of motivation again.

Han Yi would observe Yan Shuang's emotions in physics class, and if she felt that she really didn't understand the question, Han Yi would write out the solution process in detail on the paper, and draw a cartoon girl who couldn't do the question and scratched her head in a hurry behind the answer, and next to her there was a cartoon boy who was laughing at the little girl with one hand on his waist and the other hand. On the top of the heads of the two children are written Han Yi and Yan Shuang.

However, because the painting is too ugly, it often makes Yan Shuang laugh.

Yan Shuang also began to supervise whether Han Yi listened carefully in English class, and would dictate Han Yi's words every morning, and the result of not being able to memorize it was, of course, that Yan Shuang punished her for not talking to her for a day, because this punishment was simply torture for Han Yi, and since this rule came out, Han Yi's English words have become better and better day by day.

The behavior of the two is not low-key, and the students who know in their hearts that after the college entrance examination will usher in nearly three months of homework, the students are becoming more and more impetuous when the college entrance examination is approaching step by step. It's indispensable to make jokes between the two. In self-study class, because the teacher was not there, the voice of the classroom that was originally discussing problems in a low voice gradually became presumptuous, and finally evolved into a loud noise.

Seeing Yan Shuang, who was still studying hard, being annoyed by his hair because of the noise, Han Yi shouted angrily, "Don't speak!" ”

Because the voice was too loud, Yan Shuang was startled, looked at Han Yi in a daze, and the whole class looked at the two of them in a daze, noticing that Han Yi, who was in an embarrassing situation, had a wrong line in his daily brain, but Han Yi's brain seemed to be able to take advantage of Yan Shuang.

"Don't talk, kiss me."

"Huh?"

Then Han Yi suddenly kissed Yan Shuang's face and ran outside the classroom.

The little sweetness of the two people was very valuable during that period of time, but it made the teacher worry a lot, for fear that the two of them would plummet because of the turmoil of early love.

Although the relationship between the two did not fluctuate much at that time, Chen Xiaolu's death was still something that the teacher was worried about, and Han Yi's grades never rose after they fell.

The teacher didn't force Han Yi's grades, he was very withdrawn at that time and didn't say a word, the teacher knew that it would be good for a character like Han Yi to survive this matter.

But Han Yi survived not because he was strong, but thanks to Fang Siyi.

"I don't want to live with self-blame."

Before Han Yi remembered what Hu Lei said before turning himself in, his heart began to stir.

If you want to describe how he is feeling right now, it is nothing more apt than self-blame.

He caused An Ziyu to collapse, and even dropped out of school because of this, causing Chen Xiaolu to turn from an optimistic and cheerful girl into a posthumous portrait, and causing An Zifeng to be imprisoned by beating his good brother.

They keep saying, don't blame you, don't blame you.

But they don't know that the better they are, the more their hearts will hurt.

Han Yi didn't want to live with self-blame.

It's still the rooftop, the roof where he tore apart Chen Xiaolu's dream of herself, the roof where she was drunk with Murong Lingfeng, the roof where An Zifeng was injured, or the same moonlight sprinkled on her face, the same desolation, so cold that it was like her heart was filled with cold water but could only flow out through tears.

But Han Yi couldn't cry.

In a familiar place, Han Yi stood so close for the first time, feeling the oncoming wind. One step further, you can live without self-reproach, and you can wash away your sins.

Han Yi's heart at this moment actually felt more relaxed than he had ever felt in these days.

Fang Siyi, who wanted to come to the roof to persuade Han Yi not to be sad, the scene in front of her made her cry out in a panic.

And when Han Yi stood on the edge of the roof and looked back at her relaxed but unsettling expression, Fang Siyi believed that Han Yi was serious.

She knelt on the ground, shouting Han Yi's name, but she didn't dare to approach.

"Sisi, I'm gone, take care of yourself."

Only Han Yi's elegant but heartbreaking figure remained, slowly disappearing from Fang Siyi's sight, falling downstairs twenty tens of meters high.

Han Yi was still dreaming about it until this time, dreaming that he had really jumped, dreaming that he was really not in this world. Sometimes Han Yi also thinks that if he suddenly dies one day, will there be less sadness in this world, or more sadness. He knew it would be better, but he was grateful that Sisi had been able to stop him at the last second.

I still remember that I was scolded and beaten at that time, and it was quite miserable.

Han Yi on the roof turned his head towards Fang Siyi.

"Sisi, I'm gone, take care of yourself."

"You bastard!" Fang Siyi stopped Han Yi, who was about to turn around and lean back, "You coward, what are you evading like this!" Have you forgotten what Grandpa Xiaolu said? ”

Han Yi was stunned, and that scene came to his mind, the words that the kind old man said to himself gently.

"She just wants you to be happy."

"Can you be blinded like this!" Fang Siyi continued to shout to Han Yi, "You still have parents who love you, your elderly grandmother, she loves you so much, are you right about her?" What will they do if you are gone, what will I do! Fang Siyi cried even more, heartbreaking, "What about Yan Shuang abroad!" ”

Fang Siyi is worthy of being Han Yi's childhood sweetheart, the person who knows him best, and her every word falls on Han Yi's heart.

Han Yi was touched by Fang Siyi's words. Yes, if you do this, not only will you hurt your relatives, but Chen Xiaolu will also be heartbroken in the sky. There is also Hu Lei's kid, if he hears the news of his death inside, he probably can't wait to escape from prison to attend his funeral, and then scold the bastard in front of his coffin, and Yan Shuang, he will be very sad when he comes back abroad.

After thinking about this, Han Yi looked at the girl who was suffering for himself not far away, he hesitated and softened, but he didn't know how he should live it.

Before he could figure it out and decide to come down, Wang Tao and Murong Lingfeng, who were secretly called by Fang Siyi with his mobile phone, violently pounced Han Yi back.

Murong Lingfeng raised his hand to fight, but saw Fang Siyi, who came over, first slapped Han Yi in the face.

Although Han Yi has been sluggish since then, he has never made radical moves again.

Several people knew that he was in a hurry, so they had to try their best to persuade him and give him more care.

finally went through the college entrance examination, although Han Yi was not in good shape, but with an excellent foundation, he still went to Normal University.

But after all, it is not Peking University, he and Yan Shuang seem destined to separate.

What Han Yi didn't expect was that this separation might be a lifetime, at least, four years have passed now......