Not long after Fu Yankai left, the waiter brought the meal over.

I had no appetite for something, so I ate two bites casually and stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling window to look at the sea view.

The night was dark, and the field of vision was dark.

There was only a cloud left in the west, as if someone had smeared it on the dark sky, forcibly separating the sky from the horizon.

You can't see the beach and you can't hear the waves.

I thought intermittently in my heart that although Fu Yankai didn't ask me to socialize in the past, he never shy away from me when talking about things. No matter how big the list. Or you can't blame him, after all, I leaked his important things to He Xiaomian.

He also said that he came to the beach to celebrate the New Year in order to make me happy. As a result, I came over with business, I really don't know how true or false this is deliberate.

I stood for a while, bored, snuggled into the sofa, turned on the TV, and watched a casual costume TV series.

Fu Yankai came back early that night.

As soon as I felt a little sleepy, I suddenly felt the mattress next to me sink.

Fu Yankai leaned over, his cold lips pressed against the corners of my mouth, the cool skin, the fingers that came over were cold, but the palm was warm.

He had probably taken a shower, but he could still smell a little alcohol between his breaths.

I was holding my elbows and just trying to get up, and he was pressed against the pillow again, and I said, "Have you drunk?" ”

"A little." His voice was smiling, his fingers rubbing against my face, "Waiting for me?" ”

"No, I can't sleep. Is the work negotiated? ”

Fu Yankai didn't answer me, but said, "In the past, you always accompanied me for a walk on the beach, and the moonlight was so good." ”

He was close to my neck, breathing, warm in my ears,

I whispered, "Isn't there a moon tonight?" ”

"Where is the moon at the end of the month?" Fu Yankai said, his kiss gradually declined,

Tonight he seemed particularly gentle, kissing like a feather sliding over another feather, soft and light, even more stirring.

I hooked his neck, lips and tongue together, and wrapped around him.

When he got the condom, I casually said, "What if I'm pregnant." ”

"How can this make you pregnant." He said.

It's a topic I've never mentioned before I talked to him. Whether it was in the past or now, this is the tacit understanding of adults, and it is my understanding.

He didn't care, he said this casually, the big palm was still floating around my waist, his kiss was still so gentle, but I seemed to fall from the clouds to the bottom.

I don't know how I could ask such a thing.

In the past, I always felt that there was something that could not be solved without money, and if there was, it was more and more money. This is why Fu Yankai likes me, he likes me to be sensible, and he prefers that all my dissatisfaction can be filled with money simply and rudely.

Why does it seem that the attraction of money to me has no effect now?

I'm always easy to get lost.

I don't know what drove me, so I reached out and pushed him, and he asked, "What's wrong?" ”

I opened my mouth, paused, and told a lie: "It's inconvenient for me." ”

"Ah, I forgot." Fu Yankai chuckled, stopped all movements, and buried his face in my neck. I carry his weight. Where the skin is close to each other, there is a thin layer of sweat, wet.

He put one hand on my face and looked at me deeply. I bent my mouth and laughed, he suddenly sat up straight, pulled me into his arms, kissed more and more urgently, he seemed to want to swallow me, his fierceness brought me emotionally, this is the body's most primitive and honest reaction to him.

I couldn't help but respond to him, and I couldn't stop it.

He finally let go of me, and I was finally able to breathe fresh air, and sat up from his arms, gasping for air.

He reached out and frowned and pinched my chin, saying, "It's inconvenient and I didn't say it earlier, and you came to recruit me!" His chin was slightly raised, and there was unquenchable desire in his eyes.

I didn't speak, just watched him inhale deeply and exhale.

He let go of me in hatred, got up and went to the bathroom, where there was soon a drenching sound.

I tied my bathrobe, combed my messy hair a little, and lay down on one side.

We stayed at the beach until the second year of junior high school, and then we returned.

When we got out of the airport, the airport was deserted more than usual, and there was not a single taxi outside the airport, but as soon as we got out, we saw Fu Xingzhi waiting for us there.

I got my luggage in the car, and Fu Xingzhi said, "Do you want to go back directly?" Big brother is waiting for you! ”

Fu Yankai snorted.

I hurriedly said, "Where are you going?" I'm going back. ”

Fu Xingzhi said: "What's the hurry, play for two days first." ”

"No, this year is the first New Year of Fang Jide's death, and my grandmother asked me to go home to worship on the second day of junior high school." I say.

Fu Yankai glanced at me: "It's okay, your car is still in your hometown, I'll call a car to send you over." ”

Sure enough, he arranged the car and bought a few boxes of gifts to throw in the trunk.

In the afternoon, he returned to the countryside, and Fang Zijian was also at home. My grandmother was very happy to see me coming back, and she didn't ask Fu Yankai about it, and she was busy making a big table of dishes.

At night, I slept in the upstairs guest room as usual, and my grandmother suddenly came up with the wooden box Fang Jide gave me and asked me, "Why are you staying at home again?" ”

The last time I came back, I burned the IOU inside and put it in the house. I said, "I'm also renting a place outside, so it's inconvenient to move or something, so let's put it at home first." ”

My grandmother sat down on the edge of my bed with the box in her arms, looked at me, and said, "Today is your mother's birthday." ”

Mom was too new to me. I groaned.

My grandmother opened the box, took out a photograph, handed it to me, and said, "I got this photo, and I'm afraid I'll break the diary." You see, this is your mother. ”

I took the photo, and it was a little yellow, I don't know if it was damp or faded, I couldn't see it clearly.

All I could see was a girl and a man standing by the river, they were leaning against the fence, the girl was smiling brightly, the man was wearing a pair of glasses, his face was blurred, and he couldn't see clearly.

I asked my grandmother, "Who am I like?" ”

Grandma said, "It's not like your mother at all, anyway." ”

I looked at the photo for a while, looked up and asked her, "Mom, why did you ......?"

I didn't say any more, but I knew my grandmother understood what I meant.

"They said she had a nervous disorder. She came back with a big belly, and your grandfather, relatives, and the village all came to force her and scold her. She always kept her head down and refused to say a word. When she was pregnant with you, she was fine, but later when she was confined, she was not enough milk, she was less than twenty years old, and she often cried and cried. I had just conceived your little uncle at the time, and I didn't care much about her. When I found out that she hadn't spoken for a long time, I was sent to the hospital and said what kind of depression she was. What kind of depression, isn't it just neurosis? Hey......" Grandma sighed, her tail trembling slightly.

I didn't explain, I just felt a sadness in my heart.

After a while, he said, "Grandma, do you regret letting your mother give birth to me?" ”

My grandmother reached out and rubbed my hair and said, "It's your child, but your mother is relieved, it's hard!" ”

I guess my grandmother regretted it.

Stayed in my hometown for 2 nights. In the fourth year of junior high school, I drove back to the city with my uncle.

At the start of work on the fifth day of the Lunar New Year, I gave red envelopes to the employees, and then took them to have a starting meal.

Xiaozhuang and several of them came to laugh at me: "Sister Qing, for the New Year, you are double happy!" ”

"What's the double happiness?" I'm white with them.

"Sister Qing, if you have this, you have to give us all joy candy!" A little girl laughed.

"Alright, alright, let's eat!" I feigned anger, took a sip of the water glass, and calculated in my heart, as if I hadn't come to my aunt for more than two months.

It's been a mess, and I didn't care about it at all.

After dinner, I sent a few of them to the store to open the door, and I bought two or three pregnancy tests at the pharmacy downstairs. When I woke up the next morning, I hid in the toilet and tried three contraceptives together.

I knew that after that night, I took the pill the next day, so I didn't pay much attention to it, so I put it on the windowsill and brushed my teeth.

After washing my face, I remembered, so I patted my face and glanced at it.

Three pregnancy test sticks, all showing two bars.

I was stunned.

How is it possible, I obviously took the birth control pill! How is it possible to still be pregnant?

I grabbed the few things, threw them in the trash can, tied up the bag in the trash can, cleaned up casually, quickly went downstairs, threw away the trash, and drove to the hospital.

I went to the hospital alone for a check-up.

Drawing blood, taking urine tests, and sitting in front of the doctor with the test results, she glanced at the list and asked me, "Do you want the child?" ”

I looked up in a daze and said, "Really?"

The female doctor nodded: "The results of the blood test are like this, when was the last menstrual period?" ”

I shook my head: "I don't remember much, I guess it's been two months." ”

"Or do a B-ultrasound? If the child wants it, he will start taking folic acid. ”

"I, I've only done it once in months, and that time I took emergency contraception!" I say.

"The kind you eat?"

"I forgot the brand, I seem to have eaten two."

The doctor's face also became solemn, and he said: "Contraceptive pills are also hormones, and we can't guarantee the impact on the human body, so you go back and discuss this with your husband." ”

I took the list and subconsciously stroked my lower abdomen, this place has begun to give birth to a small life.

Walking out of the hospital gate, I wrapped myself in my coat and walked slowly towards the parking lot.

The words Fu Yankai said that night echoed in his head, how could he make you pregnant. My relationship with him is naturally not suitable for pregnancy.

But I can't just let my child be born and be like myself, right?

I've suffered enough, a fatherless child is born just to suffer.

I drove the car, my heart was painful and chaotic, no matter what, I should ask Fu Yankai, after all, he is also one of the makers of this life, even if he didn't want this child to appear.

I turned the car around and drove to Fu Yankai's company, Fu Yankai's company started working yesterday, and he should be in the company. I drove the car into the underground parking lot, reversed the parking space, and was just about to open the car door when I suddenly heard Fu Yankai's voice.