It's been a long time since I've had dinner with my mother, and it's rare that Shi Jiaojiao doesn't go to self-study at night and her mother doesn't work overtime. "Mom, your skills have declined, this dish is dead." Shi Jiaojiao swallowed a large mouthful of rice and protested to her mother. Mom still didn't believe it, so when she took a bite, her eyebrows immediately twisted into a ball, and her mouth was full of words: "It's pretty good, let's eat." He laughed to himself. Shi Jiaojiao pursed her lips and smiled mischievously, "Yes, yes, my mother is wise." Mother and daughter burst into laughter.

After Shi Jiaojiao finished washing the dishes and chopsticks, she saw her mother turning over the big wooden box and asked, "Mom, do you want to bless yourself, it seems to be raining tomorrow." The woman compared the two sweaters in her hand and said, "Your father is calling me to go back to my hometown," and threw a black sweater back into the big box, and said, "Your grandfather is not very well." ”

The word grandfather is only a vague memory for Shi Jiaojiao. At that time, she had just remembered, and her father took her to the side of the road to wait for the bus, saying that her grandfather was coming to live with her. Grandpa got out of the car with his back to the sun, a dark silhouette with a large snakeskin pocket in the backlight. There was nothing in that pocket but sun-dried tobacco.

Shi Jiaojiao was not sensible at that time, but she only remembered that the old man asked her three or four-year-old self to cut tobacco, and the back of the cutter hurt her little hand, she didn't dare to cry, because when she cried, her grandfather would smoke her palm with a cigarette stick, and scolded while smoking: "The girl is useless." She also didn't dare to tell her parents, because they quarreled every day, and the complaint would only lead to a more intense confrontation between them.

Grandpa came for less than half a year, and one day, he carried a big snakeskin bag and boarded the old bus in the backlight. The little Shi Jiaojiao stood alone on the side of the road, looking at the bus that was gradually moving away, thinking that the back of her grandfather getting on the bus was also dark.

That night, Mom and Dad got into a fight, and they almost demolished the house. Dad didn't fight back, he stood by the door with his head bowed, his bangs blocking his eyes, and he couldn't see his expression. It turned out that the grandfather had taken away all the clothes of his parents and the few savings in the family. Since then, Shi Jiaojiao has never returned to her hometown, never seen the old man called grandpa again, and her parents never mentioned him again.

Shi Jiaojiao found that a corner of the New Year's painting on the door of her parents' room was warped, and she wanted to smooth it out, but she couldn't get it even. She pressed her thumb down on the corner as if to press through the door. She said to her mother, "I'll go back and see him, it's grandpa after all." The mother replied coldly: "No, he is happy to have the grandson of your eldest uncle and second uncle's family around him, don't make him angry on the spot when you go back as a girl." Your dad doesn't want you to go back. ”

The fingers pressed on the door panel ached from excessive force, as if the back of the cutter had been brought by the back of the knife. Shi Jiaojiao let go of her hand, the upturned horn was broken, and it fell to the ground like a dying red butterfly. "Okay." Shi Jiaojiao seemed to respond to her mother's words, and seemed to be talking to herself.

Mom set off early in the morning with a strong wind, and Shi Jiaojiao got up early to send her mother to the station. There were very few people in the station, and my mother reached out to wipe off Shi Jiaojiao's frozen nose, looked at the black and oppressive clouds, and said to her daughter: "I told your Aunt Li that I want her to help take care of you, and if you have anything, go to her." As he spoke, he stretched out his hand and pulled Shi Jiaojiao's cotton jacket and hat, and then said, "If you are scared at night, ask Lili and them to accompany you and take care of yourself." Shi Jiaojiao nodded, but said nothing.

The bus came, and my mother was the last to get on the bus, sat in the seat and told Shi Jiaojiao from the window: "Eat on time, go to Aunt Li if you have something, the family will be handed over to you, my good daughter!" Shi Jiaojiao nodded desperately and kept waving, but still didn't say a word. It wasn't until the bus started slowly that Shi Jiaojiao ran a few steps with the car and confirmed that her mother wouldn't see her, that she squatted on the side of the road and cried.

"I don't dare say goodbye to you, Mom, I'll cry when I open my mouth. I've been scared to leave you from the day I saw your ticket, and I've never been away from you for a long time. I know you feel like I've grown up, so you feel comfortable leaving me alone at home. So I can't cry, I can't live up to your trust, and I can't increase the concern in your heart. Mom, I'm already thinking about you. ”

Shi Jiaojiao didn't tell anyone about her mother's return to her hometown, including her good friends. Although it rained that night, Shi Jiaojiao went to study at night for the first time. When she was about to get home, Shi Jiaojiao looked at the black hole house from afar, and an unreasonable disappointment rose in her heart, she kept holding her mother's delusion that she couldn't bear herself and returned to wait for her to get out of school.

When he found a person standing at the door of the house, he really frightened Shi Jiaojiao's courage, and the person hurriedly ran up to comfort Shi Jiaojiao when he saw Shi Jiaojiao screaming, "Jiaojiao, it's me, Aunt Li." Aunt Li brought dinner to Shi Jiaojiao and asked her if she was afraid if she wanted to stay with her. Shi Jiaojiao shook her head and said, "It's okay, I can do it myself, where can the little brother leave his mother?" When Aunt Li was leaving, she said to Shi Jiaojiao: "Your mother left money for me, don't be embarrassed, just ask Auntie for it, ah!" Shi Jiaojiao nodded, "I still have money!" ”

Shi Jiaojiao had insomnia for three days in a row, yawning at school, which provoked Xia Lei to ask: "Are you a big smoker?" When Shi Jiaojiao heard this, she cheered up and fought with her. Xia Lei can see that Shi Jiaojiao is in trouble, but they have a tacit understanding, since you don't want to say it, I won't ask, but I want to help you be happy.

In the winter night, the wind didn't know what to be tied with, making a terrifying sound like a ghost crying wolf, Shi Jiaojiao tossed and turned in the quilt, and finally got up and got dressed, and rode out. I don't know when the snow droplets, rustling on the ground, hitting the face and causing pain. Shi Jiaojiao ignored it and pedaled the bicycle hard.

Since the garment factory sold its dormitory, Chen Li's family has moved to his grandmother's house, deeper in the village. Shi Jiaojiao finally arrived at Chen Li's house, and regardless of the fact that others might have rested, she went to knock on the door and shouted: "Is Chen Li at home, is Chen Li at home, I am Jiaojiao!" At this time, Shi Jiaojiao's patience for fear had reached its peak, and she just wanted to call Chen Li to accompany her to sleep peacefully.

On the way back, the wind direction changed, and Shi Jiaojiao came and went against the wind and snow. There was no one in Chen Li's house, and Shi Jiaojiao called the door for more than twenty minutes, but no one answered. The bare trees on the side of the road danced like ghosts in the night, and Shi Jiaojiao, who returned disappointed, was iron-hearted, she gritted her teeth and fought against the wind and snow, and said as if she were dead: "I must fall asleep by myself!" ”

As if breaking through some constraints, Shi Jiaojiao's heart calmed down, and she fell asleep that night, dreamless all night