A terrible sense of oppression swept over me, and I felt like I was about to drown in this dark storm.

I curled up under the quilt with my pillow and turned on all the lights in the dormitory, but I still felt so dark. People say that it doesn't matter if you're blind, just if your heart isn't blind. I feel like I can't see even with my eyes, and my heart is also obscured and I can't see anything, and I feel like it's dark around me.

Outside the window, there was a rumbling thunder, but there was no sign of rain. I suspect that God is the same, making jokes with everyone, cooperating and laughing at how depressed and embarrassed I am at the moment.

I closed my eyes tightly, and the face with the serpent's gaze came to mind, and he stared at me fiercely, his eyes like a thorny rattan, tightening my neck so that I could not breathe. He spoke in a cold tone, telling me not to come near him anymore, to stop doing anything superfluous. I was so uncomfortable that the arm holding the pillow pushed harder and harder, and pressed the pillow against my stomach.

I didn't do anything superfluous, I didn't.

There was a fiery illusion of pain on her face, and she was the same, she slapped me and snarled at me so that I was not allowed to slander him.

I didn't slander him, I really didn't.

Don't believe me.

My mother told me that she was pregnant. So did the pregnant man carry her behind her back and have children with other women outside?

I'm so vicious at the moment that I want to strangle him, strangle his flesh and bones, and then kill myself.

Make him pay for his betrayal.

Someone who treats my aunt badly, even if she wants to hate me, I am afraid that one day I will be swallowed by hatred and do something that I can't control. For example, ruined him.

I'm starting to have stomach aches again......

Just when it was suddenly pouring rain outside, the rain fell on the windows that were not closed. I heard the door screeping open, interrupting my thoughts.

"Wang Xiyuan, are you sick, if you want to sleep, turn off the light, what do you sleep with the light on, I really don't believe you if you are not sick." Li Yiqian stepped on her high heels loudly and stood beside my bed and yelled at me.

"Get up." As she spoke, she stood up and tugged at the quilt I was covering my head, "You're an old hen hatching eggs, aren't you?" ”

Instead of being angry at her behavior, I was a little grateful that she was there at this time. I didn't have time to think about it anymore, I glanced at her and said lightly: "Next time you step on my chair, remember to take off your shoes first." With that, he turned to face the wall and continued to sleep.

"Hey." Her voice was still ringing next to me: "You shouldn't fall out of love, right?" ”

I immediately sat up from the bed, I didn't know which tendon was wrong, and scolded her: "You are just out of love, your whole family is out of love." ”

If you don't fall in love, you can't fall out of love.

She looked at me with disdain, and the corners of her mouth moved and sneered.

"It's not wrong to say that you have a bad temper, are you hypoglycemic, or irritable."

I clutched the quilt tightly, "Both." ”

"Sure enough, it's sick." As she stepped on her heels and left, I heard her mutter.

I heard her slamming the window closed, then her high heels, then the sound of slamming the bathroom door slammed, and finally the sound of her putting water in the shower......

My head was groggy and I thought I was going to fall asleep, but in a daze I heard someone talking in my ear, as if calling my name.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Chestnut standing on the side of my bed on a chair, her face worried.

"Ge Yu told me that you ran away alone in a rage, did anything happen?" She touched my hair, and her tone was gentle, never before.

"Don't ask, don't ask...... I'm fine, I'm fine. "I was so anxious that I quickly wrapped myself in a quilt so that no one could see my vulnerability, and I didn't want others to know that I was not strong.

It took me a while before I heard her sigh, and her voice came softly to my ears: "Okay, if you don't want to say it, I won't ask, but if you feel uncomfortable, remember that there is another me." ”

I couldn't sleep, and listened to Li Yiqian come out of the bathroom and collide with Li Ci for a few words, and then Li Yiqian, who was stimulated by Li Ci's cold words, got into a fight with Ge Yu again. The magnetic field of the two of them is not in harmony, I knew it on the first day of school, they quarrel and quarrel, but they never fight, in fact, they are all good-natured people.

That night, Ge Yu climbed into my bed.

"Slept? Hee Won. She called out to me in a low voice, her breath spurting and hitting my neck.

"Nope."

"Talk to me, okay?"

"Okay."

I almost held my breath as she heard what she was going to say and talk to me next.

"Don't you hate my brother very much?"

I was completely speechless. I don't know how to answer this question. Let's say it's not annoying, it's talking big with my conscience, I'm so sorry for myself; Let's say I hate it, after all, he is Ge Yu's brother, and she is one of the few friends I have at school, so I always feel sorry for it.

"I don't like him."

"That's a hate."

I don't speak. Lying behind me, she continued to speak: "Actually, I sometimes hate him too, you see his demeanor, he doesn't care about anything and doesn't take it seriously. ”

In the dark night, Ge Yu reached out and stuffed the quilt for me and pressed it under my body, and the two of us were side by side, with my back to her and she hugging me. There was no moon on a rainy day, and I heard the sound of the rain ticking on the glass windows, and it was like the wailing of God on this impossibly quiet night.

"Actually, I've thought about it, if you fall in love with my brother, maybe you can make him change."

That's impossible.

"But you hate him so much, and I can see it." I felt her running through my hair under the covers, so gentle," ...... After you just ran away alone, my brother was very depressed, he wanted to apologize to you, wanted to explain to you, things were not what you thought. But he knew you must hate seeing him, so he ......"

She couldn't go on.

So......? So let my sister be a lobbyist?

Her voice became quieter and quieter, and the more I listened to it, the more it felt like a lullaby, which helped me fall asleep quickly. In the haze, like a dream, the last thing I heard her say before falling asleep was: "Actually, my brother is very afraid of you......"

I couldn't hear anything after that.

It feels like winter here comes very early, and the cold wind is already howling at the end of October. In my hometown, if you're lucky, you can occasionally experience the mild weather of 20 degrees Celsius in December, with green everywhere, trees not always falling leaves, and the warmest sunlight in winter.

On such days when there is a difference between north and south, I suddenly look forward to seeing the snow soon.

Recently, I love to rain, as if God is crying, and it always rains. Sometimes it's intermittent that you finally see the sun, and then the sky is overcast again. The clothes were dried for a week and there was no sign of drying, so I had no choice but to go out to buy clothes with chestnut porcelain.

"Are you sure you're going to go shopping with me for clothes?" Chestnut has asked me this more than once.

"What's wrong? What's the problem? ”

"I'm a completely different type from you, you look at my dress, I can't give you advice when I go." She tugged at her neutral clothes.

"You go with Ge Yu." She said.

"Ge Yu went out last night and hasn't come back yet."

In the end, Li Porcelain still accompanied me out to buy clothes. Even if she can't give me advice, it's better to have company than to go shopping alone. Compared to the way I see those beautiful clothes with many good-looking styles that can't be calm, chestnut porcelain is very calm. I seriously suspect that it is not just the dress and hair that are neutralized by chestnut porcelain, but even the heart is neutralized.

"Chestnut porcelain." I bumped into her and brought the dress to her, "Look at this dress, what do you think?" ”

She glanced at it, and then frowned, a look of distress. Forget it, I still decided not to bother her, picked up my clothes and turned to find the fitting room, and winked at the chestnut porcelain who was standing still.

"You really don't have any interest in this kind of clothing?" I changed my clothes and walked out of the fitting room and stood in front of her in a deliberate circle.

"I'm very interested in wearing it on you, so if I wear it, I'd better skip it." She frowned and smiled sheepishly.

In fact, I have doubted what makes chestnut porcelain so neutral dressed? Is it because of the family or because of the boys? I think every girl should have had a fairy tale dream when she was a child, and she fantasized about the appearance of a prince and a heroic knight, although the reality is the opposite when she grows up. But girls can't resist white wedding dresses after all, even if they don't have the dream of getting married, but there will always be the idea of wearing a white wedding dress to take beautiful photos...

Well, I had the idea of taking beautiful pictures in a white wedding dress...... Even if it's just yourself.

"Haven't you ever thought about growing your hair long?" I changed the dress and handed it to the salesperson, then turned to ask the motionless chestnut porcelain standing behind me.

"I'm annoying, I always go to cut my hair."

I nodded thoughtfully.

When I went out to pay the bill, I saw Yi Ran, who stood out in the crowd, standing next to the ATM in the mall, as if waiting for someone. He was so tall and had such an outstanding face to go there, and I don't know how many men and women he attracted side glances. He stood there without squinting, and even his unsmiling face was still good-looking.

I wanted to go and say hello to him, but I remembered that I had been warned that day to stay away from him. I gritted my teeth and stood still, unable to take a single step, only clenching my fists. Just as his eyes were about to make contact with me, the soles of my feet seemed to be greased, and I flew towards the elevator. Behind me I heard the sound of chestnut porcelain calling my name all the time, but I ran faster and faster in her shouting.

Kuri didn't ask me what was wrong when she returned to the dormitory, but she sat next to me and looked thoughtful. I know, she would love to ask, but she won't ask, she's waiting for me to say.

In the afternoon, Ge Yu dragged his wet body back to the dormitory, and he didn't change his clothes or take them off, so he lay on the bed with his wet clothes.

"Ge Yu, get up and change your clothes and go to bed again, you will get sick like this." I walked over to her bed and tugged at her quilt. She still didn't want to get up, and I couldn't help but climb up to her bed and pull her up, but stopped when my fingers touched her arm.

Ge Yu cried. Her tears slowly ran down her face in the direction she was lying and dripped onto her pillow.

"We're friends, hug me and cry when you're sad......," I whispered, taking her hand.

She sat up and threw herself into my arms, her whole body cold and shining. I held her in my arms, hoping to warm her cold body as if it had been dug out of an ice cellar with my body heat.

"You said I liked him for so long, why can't he feel it." Her nasal cry came low, and it took a while for her to stop crying and then say, "I have liked him for so long, and yet he told me that he was going to marry someone else...... I hate him, I hate him the most......"

She whimpered as she slurred the staccato words that sounded incoherent.

I didn't have to think much to guess that it was Duan Yuqiao who had a favorite and wanted to marry, but that person was not her.

After crying, Ge Yu obediently changed her wet clothes, and as a result, she wore a shirt and didn't button it, and ran out of the bathroom like that.

Li Yiqian, who was talking on the phone, looked at her like this, glanced at Ge Yu, and her voice came from afar: "Perverted!" ”

I hurried up and pulled her dress. Her eyes were swollen like a leavened bread that had been soaked in water for too long. His hair was uncombed and untidy, and it was unkempt like a bird's nest that had just been built.

I won't say anything to comfort her, because I haven't experienced love, so I don't understand anything. If she wants to cry, I can lend her a shoulder.

Suddenly, Ge Yu walked back and forth in the dormitory as if he was having a convulsion, like a ghost. kept singing sad songs in his mouth: "I can't catch love, I always watch it slip away, there are happy people everywhere in the world, why can't I be counted as one." Fighting alone for love, I have long had enough of the suffering of love, and there are people who are lost in love, and I am just one of them......" sang to the end, she suddenly shouted.

Li Yiqian, who was so noisy that she couldn't talk on the phone, covered the microphone and played her lion's roar: "Ge rumor, you are sick!" Nerves all day long. ”

I looked at each other, but I didn't know what to do.

The scolded Ge Yu suddenly opened his throat and shouted: "You must know that sadness is always inevitable, every time you wake up from a dream, there are some things you don't have to ask now, and some people you never have to wait!" ”

Li Yiqian was completely enraged, and after hanging up the phone, she crossed her waist like a dominatrix, and scolded the rumors in lovelorn: "Isn't it just lovelorn, what's the big deal." When I broke up with your brother, I didn't get as nervous as you, wave your hand, and the next one will be better. ”

Ge Yu was probably angered by her words, and Li Yiqian's lion roared back at all: "A woman like you knows what it means to like." Do you know what it's like to like someone? Have you ever tried to fall out of love with someone because you like it? You don't understand anything, it's a fart. ”

"It's amazing to fall out of love, the sky hasn't fallen yet, why do you want to die or live here." Li Yiqian turned around and left a little unbearable, and muttered when she slammed the door: "It's really annoying." ”

Ge Yu rushed out faster before Ge Yu, knocking Li Yiqian to the side, she was still screaming and scolding at Ge Yu from behind.

Li Ci and I hurried out, hoping to catch up with the emotionally unstable Ge Yu.

In this city where it rained for many days, it was so dark that I couldn't find the east, south, west, and west. Separated from the chestnut porcelain search, I stood at the crossroads like a fool, not knowing where to go......