No.48

We rushed to Xu Hao's house in a hurry, his family lived on the top floor, the kind of one ladder and three households.

Although there is a shoe cabinet at the door, there is a pair of blue slippers abruptly placed next to it. After the door opened, Xu Hao put on slippers and handed out plastic shoe covers to us one by one. He looked squirming and pinching, a little embarrassed: "We don't have enough slippers to wear, in fact, I don't think it's really necessary, I'm afraid my mother will ......."

He said half of what he said, others may not understand, and it is really difficult for me to explain.

Xu Hao's parents are actually quite good everywhere, that is, my mother loves cleanliness too much, and I deeply remember that once I was playing at his house, I wanted to borrow the toilet because I was anxious, but his mother tactfully refused without leaving the slightest room: "There is a public toilet downstairs, Xu Hao quickly led the way." ”

The layout of their home is roughly like this, the dining room on the right hand side of the entrance hallway is next to the kitchen, and the living room is in front of it, which has a lot of photos of their family, and there are three bedrooms on either side.

Fei Ge gave a thumbs up: "Mansion!" ”

Xu Hao disagreed, and pressed his hand down: "It's okay to be a little out of business, our family is responding to the call to strive for a well-off life in 2020." ”

Xia Yu said: "Your family is really interesting, uncles and aunts often quarrel, right?" ”

Xu Hao looked at me sideways: "Tong Lei, what are you talking about?" ”

I shouted that I had been wronged.

Xia Yu said with a smile: "It has nothing to do with Tong Lei, I also know that your family is well-off, your father is a left-hander, he often smokes secretly behind his mother's back, and he has a rough personality but does copywriting." Mom is very careful, even a little cleanliness, do you think that such a family of two people can be stopped? ”

Xu Hao looked at her like a monster, and couldn't believe what he heard just now: "You are an undercover agent sent by the FBI?" Our family is being targeted? ”

Xia Yu's leisurely and complacent demeanor was a little hateful: "It's very simple, you see that in the photo, Xu Hao's father's left arm is slightly stronger than the right, and he is left-handed in hugging Xu Hao, pushing a bicycle, and playing basketball, who believes that he is not left-handed?" ”

She seemed to fall into her own world all of a sudden: "If you look closely, you will find that due to the frequent writing, the skin on the inside of Xu Hao's father's right palm is thick and smooth, and he even grinds out a callouse when he leans down close to his wrist, which should be caused by years of copywriting work." ”

"That's right," Xu Hao said with a smile, "My dad does work in the Propaganda Department of the Municipal Party Committee and often has to write manuscripts. ”

I questioned, "Why did you write with your right hand when you said he was left-handed?" ”

She calmly explained to me: "Left-handedness only means left-handedness, do you only use right-handed in life?" As far as I know, for some left-handers, the heavy physical work is mostly on the left hand, and the fine work is mostly right-handed, and you can see that the uncle in the photo uses his right hand to hold cards when he plays cards. ”

"And how do you know my dad smokes? He claimed to have quit smoking for many years. ”

Xia Yu didn't answer directly, and walked towards the door again, asking Xu Hao as he walked, "Are you as tall as your uncle?" ”

Xu Hao replied with certainty: "Yes." ”

"That's right," she said, opening the door, "and you see that at the corner of the wall on the left side of the doorway, at the height of your shoulder, there is a mark of wear, which is markedly different from the white wall around it, and in the middle of the staircase there is a discarded half-unfinished cigarette, and there are speckled black marks on the wall next to it. Because your house is on the top floor, who would throw a cigarette butt here? My uncle was of course the most suspicious, and I speculated that he often smoked secretly outside the house against the wall and threw the cigarette butts directly down the stairs, and sometimes the burning cigarette butts happened to burn the walls, which caused the black marks. It's just that he is really not careful enough, and he could have done it more subtly, saying that he is not too rough, right? The half of the cigarette butt in front of us was thrown away by him for fear of being discovered by his aunt in a hurry and not finished smoking. ”

Xu Hao's eyes drifted and his smile stiffened, I understand what he meant, and what I thought in my heart was that you all take a look at what is going on with this girl?

"It's true that my dad hasn't been able to quit cigarettes, but it's too far-fetched for you to assume that he's careless."

Xia Yu turned around and pointed to the pair of slippers on the right and said, "Judging from the size of these slippers, they should belong to men, but your slippers are wearing on your feet, so they can only be uncle's." Obviously he has a shoe cabinet but doesn't use it, it's not an exaggeration to say that he has a lot of nerves. And I saw a Tissot brand watch on the coffee table in the living room, how on the market you have to ask for 10,000 yuan, replaced by ordinary people, must be cherished, but I found that it is neglected, the surface is scarred, not only shows that your family is rich and uncle...... It's really a big deal. ”

"Then tell me about my mother."

Xia Yu closed the door and led us back again: "Auntie loves to be clean so much, the shoes in the shoe cabinet are neatly arranged, and even the light switch and range hood are spotless, so there are few traces left." But she was so attentive that she left us a note on the range hood full of things you need to pay attention to when cooking, and didn't you notice that every doorknob in the house was wrapped in a sleeve? It's rare to be neat to this extent, and it's not too much to say that Auntie has a slight cleanliness habit, right? ”

From the beginning of entering the door, it has become Xia Yu's stand-up comedy special, her observation and deduction shocked us, and we were shocked by what we thought was a very mysterious inference, but after she broke it, it became as ordinary as if she had seen the sun.

I couldn't get enough of it: "What more can I have?" ”

"And ......," she clutched her stomach, "I'm hungry!" ”