On January 8, 2013, Chiba wrote a journal "Ideal Companion Second Edition" on the criteria for choosing a mate.

A is 30%: a good person

Scoring rules: 100 for the best guys, 85 for the good guys, 75 for the average guys, and 50 for the bad guys

Through some practices and opinions on things and people, observe more in daily life, such as honesty (scheming), whether there is a conscience, and whether it is easy to be moved

B personality 30%: A is introverted and quiet, B is gentle and considerate, C is cheerful and optimistic

Judging rules: medium AB type 90, AB positive and negative four categories have both 80, special AB type 60, especially extroverted and strong willful type 50, C item is a plus point 10

C hobby 30%:

A Books (1 Chinese and foreign masterpieces: Les Miserables, Gone with the Wind, 2 Philosophy: Being a Man and Composition, Chicken Soup for the Soul, 3 Ancient Poetry: Ancient Texts, Tang Poetry and Song Ci, 4 Prose, 5 Modern Anthologies: Sanmao, Zhang Ailing)

B anime (inspirational world view: Naruto, One Piece, Grim Reaper, Fullmetal Alchemist Season 2, Qin Shi Mingyue, Time and Space Girl Department: Burning Eyes Shana Season 3, Dream Eater Mary, Inuyasha, Funny Entertainment: Cat and Mouse, Stupid Bear, Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf)

C Table tennis D badminton judging rules: AB each full score of 40, CD for each bonus point of 10 points

D values 10% (should account for a high proportion, but because it is not easy to judge directly): contact view scoring rules:

20% of E hometown: 100 points for the same place of origin, 80 points within a radius of 50 kilometers from the place of birth, 70 points within a radius of 100 kilometers, and 50 points within a radius of 300 kilometers

F Birthday matching, name matching, and eight-character pairing 20%: 60 points or more Scoring rules: 70%, 10%, and 20% of the three full scores of 100

G appearance and body 20%: favorite type, beautiful, ordinary Scoring rules: 100 favorite types, 85 beautiful, 75 ordinary, and 60 others

H work location, work type 20%: the same city scoring rules: the same city, similar type 100, interval city (within 3 hours by car), type complementary 90, one good and one general 80, two general 70, one good and one extremely poor 60, the south and the north, the type is not related to 50

20% of academic qualifications: university (college), high school grading rules: the same class or club of the same research school: 100, the same class or club of the same university: 90, 80 of high school classmates, and high school or above are mandatory conditions

J household registration: rural, middle, urban 20% Scoring rules: 100 for ordinary rural families, 90 for middle, 80 for poor rural families, 70 for urban families, and 60 for extra wealthy

K time 10% Scoring rules: 15-17,100;2013-2014,90,Not good at falling in love, so try to be later, the conditions are relatively better R deduction 30% Smoking-100; Watching ghost movies-90; Read web novels-60; QQ online rate is very high-50

According to the above rules, the total score is 250 (-30) points, and then converted into a 100-point system in proportional form to get the results, the other party takes the initiative 13-17 (must be explained directly, such as being my partner, etc.) The top 10 can take the initiative 15-17, the top 3, if you can, choose the first, and you must have before 18 (that is, before graduating from the third year of graduate school)

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How do we make a mate selection plan?

What kind of partner you choose determines what quality of life you have in the future.

"Everything is foreseen, and if you don't prepare, you will be wasted", when you enter the marriageable age, how to formulate your own mate selection plan and determine the goal of mate selection?

1. Clear self-awareness

To find a partner who suits you, you must first have a clear understanding of yourself and do an in-depth 360-degree analysis of yourself, including the following aspects: basic information (age, height, physiognomy, blood, horoscope, major, graduation school, job, income, house, car, etc.); the environment in which the family of origin grew up; Growing Background; educational background; life, world view; value, marriage and love concept; economic conditions; hobbies; personality traits; emotional experiences; reasons for being single; the state of mind of the moment; plans for future career development; ideal state of life; Definition of the past.

In the journey of understanding oneself, it is especially important to explore the environment in which one's family of origin grew up. Research has found that our relationship with our parents determines our future relationship with our partner and wealth: our relationship with our mother determines whether we are in love or not; The quality of our relationship with our father determines our future wealth and career.

If we suffer from the pressure and confusion brought by our parents in the process of choosing a mate, we can try to understand and experience the world of our parents, and understand their inner views on home, love, and marriage. After all, the two generations have different views on marriage and love, and our parents will only love us in the way they think is best, and give us the best advice they think is best. When we are able to learn to interact with our parents from different perspectives, we will also go more and more smoothly in our intimate relationships.

Second, a clear market positioning

There is a cloud in the art of war: "Know yourself and know your opponent, and you will not be defeated in a hundred battles." "After clarifying our mate selection conditions and needs, we also need to understand what the type of spouse we like, what their requirements and criteria are, and then we can prescribe the right medicine and focus on improving the value of our partner. When dating the target person, you can quantify the basic information, mate selection conditions and criteria of the other party according to the content of the communication, and compare yourself with the other party in the form of a table to facilitate judgment and decision-making.

Third, the core behind the three views

Many people are looking for a soul mate, and the so-called soul mate is a partner who can have a positive resonance in terms of world view, outlook on life and values. However, in the process of exploring and colliding with the three views of both sides, we often fall into a misunderstanding, too entangled in the consistency of the three views, but ignoring the deep-seated needs hidden behind the three views. Therefore, when falling in love, we must not only clarify the three views of both parties, but also deeply see each other's deepest beliefs and those unmet needs in childhood.

Fourth, the difficulty of mate selection assessment

When we determine the target object, we need to make a comprehensive assessment of our overall situation, mate selection requirements, mate selection criteria of the target object, the gap between each other's comprehensive situation, and the individual's current state of mind and state, so as to judge the difficulty of mate selection. If it is more difficult to pursue the target object, should you improve yourself, lower your standards, or expand your social circle? Love is actually a game of equal strength, so in the marriage market, improving yourself is always king, and only if you are good enough can you match a high-value partner. Only men and women who have similar partner values can become strong partners.

5. Set goals and plans

We all know that opportunities are reserved for those who are prepared, and when we evaluate the value of both parties and confirm that there is a basic match, we can develop a relevant attraction and pursuit plan. The key point of making a plan is to monitor at any time, clarify the core problems encountered in the mate selection process, propose corresponding solutions, and modify the mate selection plan according to the progress of the interaction.

6. The power of a future partner

In the process of choosing a mate, there may be many choices around us, each of which has its own advantages and disadvantages, how to make the best choice at this time?

We know that marriage is a lifelong thing, and choosing a mate is actually choosing an attitude towards life. So, we can quantify the conditions under which we can choose and deduce how different lives we will have in different choices.

Generally speaking, we tend to have a lot of rules and regulations when choosing a mate, but in the end, the partner we marry will break all our quantitative requirements, because our deep-seated conditions are met.

Therefore, the true compatibility and suitability do not simply come from whether our external conditions are comparable, but from whether we really think that the other person can make us feel comfortable and safe deep down.