She stood up and looked at the house on the slope. Half an hour ago, she had thought that she had lost everything in the world and everything in her life that she had lost, except for money: Ellen, Gerald, Meilan, Black Mama, Melanie, and Ashley. It was the loss of all this that made her realize that she was one of Errit's and that she loved him, because he was strong and unscrupulous, fiery and practical, just like herself.

"I'm going to tell him everything," she thought, "and he'll understand." He always understood. I'm going to tell him how stupid I've always been, I'm going to tell him how much I love him, and I'm going to make it up to him. ”

Suddenly, she felt strong and happy. She wasn't afraid of the darkness or the fog anymore. Her heart was singing with joy because she knew she would never be afraid again. No matter how thick the fog surrounded her, she knew where to go for refuge. She walked briskly down the slope toward her home. She longed to go home right away, she felt that the street was too long, too long. She pulled her dress up to her knees and ran briskly. But this time it wasn't because of fear, but because of the rush to run home and throw herself into Ritter's arms.

The front door was ajar, and Scarlett trotted into the foyer breathlessly, standing for a moment under the colorful lights of the chandelier. The house was very silent despite the bright lights. This silence is not the tranquility of sleeping, but the dead silence of tiredness with a bit of foreboding. She could see at a glance that Ritter was not in the living room, nor in the library, and her heart sank. And if he went out, what if he went to Bell's, or somewhere he had gone when he had not come back for dinner many nights? This was something she hadn't expected.

She was about to go upstairs to look for him when she suddenly found the door to the dining room closed. Her heart twitched with shame at the sight of the closed door, for she remembered that for many nights this summer, Rhett had sat alone and drunk until she was drunk, and then she was urged to go to bed by Polk. It's all her fault, and she's determined to make it right. From now on, everything will change, but please God, don't let him get drunk tonight. If he gets drunk tonight, he won't believe me, he'll laugh at me, and my heart will break.

She gently pushed the door of the dining room open a crack and looked in, only to see him sitting at the table, slumped in a chair, with a bottle full of wine in front of him, the cork had not yet been opened, and the glass had not been used. Thank God he is sober! She opened the door and wanted to run to him right away. However, when he looked up at her, there was something in his eyes that made her stunned by the door, and she could not say anything when it came to her mouth.

He stared blankly at her, his dark eyes drooping with weariness, and there was no luster in them. Though her hair was unkempt over her shoulders, her chest was panting, and her dress was splattered with mud, he didn't look surprised, asked her what was wrong, and didn't grin at her. He was sunk deep in the chair, his clothes crumpled around his growing waist, each line showing that his old toned muscles were beginning to slacken, and his sturdy face was becoming rough. Frequent drunkenness had ruined his beautiful and neat appearance, and he was no longer the young and handsome pagan prince on the freshly minted gold coins, but the decadent and weary Julius Caesar on copper coins whose color had been reduced by long use. Seeing her standing there with one hand on her chest, he raised his head and looked very calm, even very kind, which startled her.

"Come in and sit," he said, "she's dead?" ”

She nodded, and walked over hesitantly, and when she saw the expression on his face that she had never seen before, she felt unsure. He didn't stand up, he pushed a chair out with his feet, and she sat down. She really didn't want him to mention Melanie in the first place. Now she didn't want to talk about her, she didn't want to relive the grief she had experienced in that hour. There was time to talk about Melanie, and at this moment she was anxious to say to him aloud, "I love you." She felt that only this moment in the evening could she confide in Ritter. But the indifferent look on his face made her want to stop talking, and thinking that Melanie's bones were not cold, she was here to fall in love, and she suddenly felt ashamed.

"Oh, God bless her in peace," he said, with a heavy heart, "and she's the most perfect and wonderful person I have ever known." ”

"Oh, Ritter!" She cried out in anguish, for his words reminded her very clearly of the good things Melanie had done to her on a daily basis, "Why didn't you go in with me then?" It's terrible, how much I need you! ”

"I won't be able to take it," he said without saying a word. After a while, he laboriously whispered again, that Yuan Ye was a very great woman. ”

His melancholy gaze did not linger on her, and his eyes showed the same look she had seen in the firelight on the night of the fall of Atlanta, when he told her that it was a little unexpected that he was going with the retreating troops, for he was a self-aware man, but he was surprised to find that there was loyalty and affection in him, and he felt a little amused by the discovery.

His melancholy gaze looked over her shoulder, as if watching Melanie silently walk through the dining room to the door. It turned out that he was imagining a send-off for Melanie, but there was neither sadness nor pain on his face, only a strong shock to his own confusion and inner emotions that had been extinguished since childhood, and then he said, "What a very great woman." ”

Seeing his expression, Scarlett couldn't help but tremble, and the passion and warm and brilliant hope that had inspired her to rush home just now suddenly came to naught. She could only roughly grasp what was going on in Ritter's mind as he said goodbye to the only person he respected in this world, and as a result, there was a terrible loss that no longer involved personal feelings, and she felt a pang of sadness in her heart. Although she could not fully understand or speculate on his mood at the moment, she was almost certain that Melanie's death had touched his heart deeply, as the soft-spoken woman had touched her deeply when she embraced her gently for the last time. Through Ritter's eyes, she saw not the death of a woman, but the death of a legendary figure, and it was with a gentle, humble and resolute woman like her that the South was able to keep its homeland during the war, and after the defeat of the South, it was these women who opened their proud, lovely arms to their returning relatives.

His gaze returned to her, but his voice changed, becoming relaxed and cold.

"She's dead. You're satisfied, aren't you? ”

"Oh, how can you say such a thing?" She cried out in pain, tears welling up in her eyes, "You know how much I love her! ”

"No, it's hard for me to say yes. Given your usual attitude towards the poor white guy, it would be surprising and commendable if you finally recognized her benefits. ”

"How can you talk like that? Of course I know the benefits of her. You don't know! You'll never know her as well as I do! You won't understand her, you won't know how kind she is."

"Really? Not necessarily. ”

"She always thinks about others, but she never thinks about whether she knows that the last thing she talks about before she dies is you."

He jerked around, his eyes flashing with real emotion.

"What did she say?"

"Oh, Ritter, I don't want to say it now."

"Tell me."

His tone was cold, but the hand that grabbed her wrist hurt her. She didn't want to say it, because in this atmosphere she couldn't steer the conversation to what she had in mind and confess her love to him. But he grabbed her wrist tightly and insisted that she speak.

"She said, 'You have to treat Captain Butler well.'" He loves you so much. ’”

He glared at her and lowered her wrist. His eyelids drooped, and his face was gloomy and dazed. Suddenly, he stood up, walked to the window, opened the curtains, and stared out intently, as if he could see anything else but the fog.

"What else did she say?" He asked, not turning around.

"She asked me to take care of Xiaobo, and I said I would, and I would definitely treat him as my own child."

"Anything else?"

"She also talked about Ashley, and she asked me to take care of Ashley."

He was silent for a moment, then smiled softly.

"With my ex-wife's permission, things are convenient, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

He turned, and though she was a little flustered, she was surprised to find that there was not the slightest hint of mockery on his face, nor did he show much interest, as if he were watching a comedy that was not very funny, and she was not interested in the last scene.

"I think I mean that very clearly. Miss Lanny is dead. You undoubtedly have all the evidence you need to divorce me, and with little of your reputation left, the divorce won't do you much harm. You don't have any religious beliefs anymore, so you can have no scruples about the church. In this way, Ashley and yours have been dreaming for many years can become a reality with Miss Lanny's blessing. ”

"Divorce?" She shouted, "No! No! She said incoherently, and suddenly jumped to her feet, ran over and grabbed his arm. Oh, you're completely wrong! Big mistake, big mistake! I don't want a divorce one by one," she stopped, because she couldn't find anything to say.

He cupped her chin with one hand and gently lifted her face to the light, staring into her eyes. She looked up at him too, nervous in her eyes, her lips trembling and trying to speak, but she couldn't, for she was trying to find some kind of emotional reaction in his face, some kind of glittering light of hope, of joy. She thought he must have understood it now! However, her fiery, piercing gaze still found only the smooth, gloomy, expressionless face that often daunted her. Then he let go of her chin, turned back to his chair, fell down wearily, rested his chin against his chest, and looked at her indifferently from under his dark eyebrows.

She followed him back to her chair and stood in front of him with her hands crossed.

"You're wrong," she said, resuming the subject, "Ritter, tonight, as soon as I realized it, I came back all the way back to tell you. Oh honey, I'm one"

"You're tired," he said, still looking at her, "and go to sleep." ”

"But I have to tell you!"

"Scarlett," he said heavily, "I don't want to hear anything. ”

"But you don't know what I'm trying to say!"

"My darling, what you have to say is clearly written on your face. I don't know what happened, or who made you understand, that your unfortunate Mr. Welkes was nothing more than a Dead Sea fruit (referring to a person or thing that appears to be nothing). A translator's note), so big that you can't chew it. At the same time, it suddenly presents my charm to you, and gives me a new attraction to you," he sighed softly, "and there is no need to talk about it now. ”

Scarlett couldn't help but gasp when she saw that he had revealed the secret in her heart with one word. Of course, he had always had no trouble reading her thoughts. She was always resentful of this, but now, although she was shocked at first to be broken by him, but then she felt relieved when she thought about it. He knew and understood, and her task suddenly became easier. There's no need to talk about that now! Of course, he was apprehensive about her long-term neglect, and of course he would be suspicious of her current sudden change. But as long as you treat him well in the future and love him sincerely, he will still believe it. What a joy it would be!

"Tell you everything, my dear," she said, leaning down and putting her hand on the arm of his chair, "I was so wrong in the past, I was a big fool."

"Say no more, Scarlett. Don't be so low. I can't stand it. Say a few words, leave us a little dignity, and it can be regarded as a commemoration for husband and wife. This last scene will be spared. ”

She suddenly straightened up. Skip this last scene? What does he mean by this "last act"? How did it become the last scene? This is their first act, and it's time for them to start a new beginning!

"But I'll tell you," she said quickly, as if she were afraid that he would cover her mouth and not be able to continue, "oh, Rhett, how I love you, darling! I'm sure I've loved you for years, but I'm too stupid to know. Rumter, trust me! ”

He stared at her for a long time, until he saw the depths of her heart. From his gaze, she could tell that he believed, but had little interest in her. Ah, is he going to be so mean and stingy at this time? Is he going to torture her, to retaliate against her?

"Well, I believe you," he finally spoke, "but what about Ashley Welks? ”

"Ashley," she said, gesturing impatiently, "I don't think I've cared much about him all these years. Well, it's just a habit I've had since I was a child. If I had known what kind of person he was, I wouldn't have even thought to care about him. Despite his mouth full of truth and reputation, he is a weak and incompetent coward. ”

"No," said Ritter, "if you must see clearly what kind of person he is, you must not be biased. He is indeed a decent gentleman, but he is trapped in a world that is incompatible with him, and he is still struggling in this world with the set of rules of the old world, so he can only run into walls everywhere. ”

"Oh, Ritter, let's not talk about him! What's the point of talking about him now? Don't you want to know one I mean, since I-"

When his tired gaze met her, she suddenly stopped embarrassedly, and replied shyly, like a girl who was dating her lover for the first time. She wished he could help her and make it easier for her to get her out of the way. She wished he could stretch out his arms and let her throw herself into his arms and snuggle her head up to his chest. If her lips could fit his, he wouldn't need to stammer so much to make him understand what she meant. But after one glance at him, she realized that the reason why he kept a certain distance from her was not to embarrass her. He looked exhausted, and what she had just said didn't seem to touch him in the slightest.

"Don't want to know?" He said, "If it had been in the past, I would have fasted and prayed to thank God." But now, those words don't matter. ”

"It doesn't matter? What are you talking about? These words are certainly important. Rhett, you like me, don't you? You must like it, Lanny said you like it. ”

"Well, as far as she knows, she's right. But, Scarlett, have you ever thought that even the most eternal love will slowly fade away. ”

Looking at him, she was speechless, and her mouth turned into a round rhyme.

"My love has been worn out," he continued, "by Ashley Welks, by your stupid stubbornness, which is as stubborn as a leper dog, and has to get what you want...... My love has been worn away. ”

"But love is not consumed."

"Your love for Ashley is gone!"

"But I've never really loved Ashley!"

"So, you did act like you did until tonight. Scarlett, I'm not blaming you, reprimanding you, condemning you. Such a time has passed. So you don't have to defend and you don't have to explain. If you can listen to me for a few minutes without interrupting me, I can make my point clear. Actually, God can testify, and I don't need to explain anything at all. The facts are clear. ”

She sat down, the glaring gaslight falling on her pale and bewildered face. She peered into those eyes that were both so familiar and yet unfamiliar, and listened to his calm voice say something that didn't make much sense at first. His speech this time was uncharacteristic, with no giggling mockery or insinuation, as other people do when they talk to each other. It was the first time he had spoken to her with such an attitude.

"Have you ever thought that I love you to the point where a man loves a woman? Have you ever thought that I had loved you for many years before I got you? During the war, I tried to fly away many times to forget you, but I never forgot and came back every time. After the war, I rushed back at the risk of arrest, also to find you. And you married Frank Kennedy in such a hurry. I'm so jealous. If Frank hadn't died that time, I'd have killed him. I've always loved you, but I can't let you know. You're so cruel to those who love you, Scarlett. You will grab their love and turn that love into a whip to swing on their heads. ”

In these words, only the sentence that he loves her is meaningful. When she heard a faint hint of passion wafting in his voice, she felt a wave of joy and excitement in her heart again. So she sat with bated breath, listened quietly, and waited patiently.

"When you married me, I knew you didn't love me. Because I know your feelings for Ashley. But I was so stupid that I thought there would be a way to change your mind. If you want to laugh, laugh. I have always taken care of you, pampered you, and I will give you whatever you want. I want to marry you to protect you and make you free and happy in everything, just like I did with Meilan. Because you've been through a lot of hard work, Scarlett. No one knows better than I what you've endured, so I want you to stop fighting and let me fight for you. I want you to play well, like a child, because you are indeed a child, a frightened child who is still brave and stubborn. I feel like you're still a kid now, because only a kid can be so headstrong and stubborn. ”

His voice was calm and tired, but there was something about it that stirred up a hazy memory in Scarlett's heart. She'd heard it before, and at another critical juncture in her life. Where is that? All she remembered was the voice of a man, facing himself and the world, without emotion, fear, or hope.

Oh-I remembered, one was Ashley's voice. That winter, in the orchard of Tara Manor, where the cold wind blew through the bare branches, Ashley spoke to her in a tired, calm voice about life as if it were a shadow puppet show at the mercy of others. Although his voice was calm at that time, the unchangeable sorrow of fate and unchangeability in his timbre exceeded any bitter and desperate complaints. Although she couldn't understand many of the things Ashley had said back then, the voice made her shudder and shudder, and now Ritter's voice also made her heart sink. It wasn't what he said that upset her in particular, but his voice and attitude. She also felt that her joy and excitement just now was a little too early. Something is wrong, very wrong. But she couldn't tell what was wrong, so she had to stare at the swarthy face and listen patiently, hoping to hear something to dispel her fears.

"We are a natural couple, for I am as cold, greedy and unscrupulous as you are, and of all the people you know, I am the only one who loves you after seeing you for who you really are. I'm in love with you because I want to try my luck. I thought you'd slowly forget about Ashley. But," he shrugged, "I tried everything I could to no avail. I used to love you so much, Scarlett, and if you had given me a chance, I could have loved you very gently, very considerately, more than any man loves a woman. But I can't let you know, because I know that you will feel weak and deceitful because of this, and will use my love against me. You're always thinking about Ashley in your heart. It just drove me crazy. I can't sit face to face with you at the table in the evening, because I know you've been longing for Ashley to sit in my seat. I can't hold you in my arms at night, because I know it's okay, and now I don't care. Now I don't understand how I could be so sad. That's why I went to Bell. Even though she was an illiterate prostitute, she loved me with all her heart, respected me, and saw me as a well-bred person. With her I can find some kind of comfort, and my vanity can find some kind of satisfaction. And you've never comforted me, my dear. ”

"Oh, Rhett......" She felt uncomfortable at the sound of Bell's name, and couldn't resist interjecting to say a few words, but he waved her hand to stop her and continued.

"Later, that night, I carried you upstairs, and I thought I wanted to hope for one, and I was really full of hope, but the next morning I didn't dare to look at you, for fear that I was wrong, for fear that you didn't really love me. I was afraid you'd laugh at me, so I slipped out and got drunk again. When I came back, my feet were shaking, and then you just had to go to the top of the stairs to meet me, give me a hint, and I'll lie down and kiss your feet. But you didn't come. ”

"Oh, but Rhett, I did want you then, but you are so disgusting! I really wanted you back then! I think yes, that must be the first time I realized that I love you. I've never been happy because of Ashley since then, but you're so disgusting, I'm a"

"Oh, well," he said, "looks like we've misunderstood each other, doesn't we?" But now it doesn't matter. I just want to tell you all about it so that you don't have to wonder later. Later, when you got sick, it was all my fault, so I stood outside your door, hoping that you would call me, but you didn't. That's when I realized how stupid I was, and it was all over. ”

He stopped, and looked past her with the same eyes Ashley had had, as if he saw something she couldn't see, and she could only stare silently at his pensive face.

"But at that time, because Meilan was still there, I felt that everything was not over yet. I like to think of her as you, to imagine that you are a little girl who has not been through the trials and tribulations of war and poverty. She is so much like you, willful, brave, joyful, and excited, so I always pamper her and indulge her as much as I want to pamper you. But there's one thing she's not like you, she's in love with me. I can give her the love you don't want, and that's a little blessing for me...... But as soon as she died, she took everything with her. ”

Suddenly, she felt so sorry for him that she forgot her grief and her fear for the future. It was the first time in her life that she felt sorry for someone else without feeling contempt at the same time, because it was also the first time in her life that she came close to understanding another person. Ritter's reluctance to admit her love for fear of rejection was perfectly understandable to her, for she herself was.

"Oh, dear," she said, leaning over in the hope that he would reach out and take her into his arms, "I'm so sorry, dear, I'll make it up to you later!" Now that we understand each other, we can live very happily ever after, and look at me and look at me! We can also have another child, not like Meilan, but one"

"Thank you, no," he said, as if rejecting a piece of bread from someone else's handout, "I don't want to risk my heart a third time." ”

"Ritter, don't say that! Oh, how can I say it to make you understand? I have said how sorry I am for you. ”

"Honey, you're such a child. Do you think that just by saying 'I'm sorry', you can completely correct the mistakes you have made over the years, erase the psychological wounds of so many years at once, and suck up the venom from the wounds at once...... Take the handkerchief, Scarlett, I have never seen you use a handkerchief at any time of your life. ”

She took the handkerchief, wiped her nose, and sat down again. He obviously wouldn't take her into his arms. And she also began to understand that the words he said to love her were meaningless. It was a story from a long time ago, and he told it as if it wasn't something he had personally experienced. It was this that scared her. He looked at her almost kindly, with a contemplative look in his eyes.

"How old are you, darling? You used to be reluctant to tell me. ”

"Twenty-eight." She covered her mouth with a handkerchief and replied sullenly.

"It's not that big. For a man who has gained the whole world and lost his soul, this is still young, isn't it? Don't look frightened. When I say soulless, I don't mean that you will be tormented by the fire of hell if you have an affair with Ashley. It's just a metaphor for me. Ever since I met you, you've always wanted two things. One is Ashley, and the other is a lot of money, which can hell with everyone in the world. Now you have a lot of money, and you can be mean enough to talk to the world. You can get Ashley too, if you still want him. But now it seems that all this is not enough. ”

At this point, Scarlett only felt terrified, but not because she thought of hellfire. She thought to herself, "Ritter is my soul, and yet I'm going to lose him." If you lose him, what's the point of everything else? Whether it's friends, or money, or everything, it doesn't make sense. As long as I can get him, I don't care if I am impoverished again. Yes, I would be willing to let me freeze and starve again. His words won't be taken seriously, oh, no! ”

She wiped her eyes and said desperately, "Ritter, if you loved me so much in the past, then you must still have a little affection for me." ”

"I think there are only two feelings left, and both of them are the one you hate the most, one is pity, and the other is a strange kind of compassion."

Commiseration! Mercy! "Oh God!" She thought desperately. She never needed mercy and mercy. Because whenever she harbors both feelings for someone, she despises that person at the same time. Did he despise her too? It doesn't get much worse than that. Even the cynical indifference of his war, even the madness with which he carried her upstairs that night when he was drunk, even the merciless hands that clawed her all over her body, even the strange words of yin and yang, were better than pity and mercy, for she now realized that there was a love full of pain hidden beneath them. And at this moment, it was clear on Ritter's face that there was compassion that did not involve personal feelings.

"So, you're saying that I've destroyed all your love, and you're not loving me anymore?"

"Yes."

"But," she said stubbornly, like a child, thinking that if she said what she wanted, she would get it, "but I love you! ”

"That's your misfortune."

She hurriedly looked up to see if there was mockery in his words, but found that there was not. He's just stating a fact. Yet she still didn't want to believe it, and she couldn't believe it. She squinted at him, her eyes full of despair and stubbornness, her chin suddenly curled up, and the soft lines of her cheeks tensed all at once, just like her dead father, Gerald.

"Don't be stupid, Rhett! I'll—"

He suddenly feigned frightening, raised a hand, and raised his dark eyebrows in the shape of two crescent moons, as he had done when he had sneered at her in the past.

"Don't put on such a determined face, Scarlett! You really freak the hell out of me. I think you're trying to transfer your stormy feelings from Ashley to mine, but I'm afraid I'll lose my freedom and peace of mind. No, Scarlett, I won't be haunted by you like the unfortunate Ashley. Besides, I'll be gone soon. ”

Before she could grit her teeth, her jaw trembled. Walk? No, he must not be allowed to go! If he's gone, how will she live? The people around her were gone, and only Rhett was left. He can't go. But how could she stop him? In the face of his indifferent heart, in the face of his words that had lost his enthusiasm, she was powerless and had nothing to do.

"I'm leaving. I was going to wait for you to tell you when you come back from Marietta. ”

"Do you want to abandon me?"

"Please don't pretend to be the abandoned wives in the play, Scarlett. This role is not appropriate for you. I don't think you want a divorce, or even a separation! Well, I'll come back more often in the future, so that no one else will gossip. ”

"To hell with other people's gossip!" She said viciously, "I want you." Then you take me with you! ”

"No," he said in an unquestioning tone. For a moment, she wanted to cry like a child. She could have been lying on the floor, yelling, stomping on her feet and swearing. But what little pride and common sense she had left kept her standing upright. She thought that if I cried a lot, he would just laugh at me, or he would just look at me. I must not cry and make a fuss, and I must not beg. I must not do anything that he looks down on. Even if he doesn't love me, I have to make him respect me.

She raised her chin and asked pretending to be calm:

"Where are you going?"

There was a slight look of admiration in his eyes as he replied.

"Maybe it's England or Paris, maybe it's going back to Charleston to reconcile with my family."

"But you hate them! I've often heard you laugh at them, and a"

He shrugged.

"I'm still laughing at them, but my wandering life has come to an end, Scarlett. I'm forty-five, and when a person reaches this age, he will begin to cherish some things that he discarded at will when he was young, such as family values, reputation, safety, ancestors, etc. I'm not openly admitting my mistakes, nor am I feeling remorse for what I've done. I've always had a great time, and I'm tired of it, so now I want to change my taste. I don't want to change completely, I just want to imitate some of the things I used to be familiar with, such as the deep hatred of decency, I mean the decency of others, not the decency of myself; The quiet dignity of an upper-class person and the gentle demeanor of the old times. When I was younger, I didn't realize the calm charm of these things-"

This reminded Scarlett once again of the scene in the orchard of Tara Manor that winter. Ashley's gaze was exactly the same as Ritter's gaze now. Ashley's words rang clearly in her ears again, as if it was not Rhett but Ashley who was speaking at this time. So she parroted some of the fragments that Ashley said, and the courtyard had infinite charm, like ancient Greek art, flawless, symmetrical and harmonious. ”

Ritter asked Yard Field, alarmedly, how could you say such a thing? That's exactly what I'm trying to say. ”

"This is what Ashley said a time ago, about the old times."

He shrugged his shoulders, and the sparkle in his eyes vanished.

"Ashley again." He said. There was silence for a while, and then he added:

"Scarlett, when you're forty-five, maybe you'll understand what I mean now. When that time comes, you may also be disgusted with those fake gentlemen, their pretentious manners and hypocritical feelings. But I still doubt that. I think even if you die, you are only obsessed with beautiful appearances, and do not pay attention to reality. I can't wait for that day anyway, and I don't want to wait any longer. I'm not interested. I'm going to search the old towns and villages, looking for some remnants of antiquity. I'm sad right now. Atlanta is too vulgar and too trendy for me. ”

"Don't talk about it." She said suddenly. In fact, she barely listened to what he said. But she knew she couldn't stand his cold, emotionless tone any longer.

He stopped, looking at her quizzically.

"So, you know what I mean, don't you?" He said as he stood up.

In an ancient way of pleading, she held out her hand upwards towards him, her face full of sincerity.

"No," she cried out, "I don't understand. All I know is that you don't love me anymore, you're leaving! Oh dear, what will I do if you're gone? ”

He hesitated for a moment, as if he was thinking in his heart whether it would be better to lie to her or tell the truth. Finally, he shrugged.

"Scarlett, I never had the patience to pick up the rags and put them back together, and then say to myself that this mended garment is as good as new. Broken is always a broken one, and I'd rather remember what it looked like before it was broken than mend it and look at those patches for the rest of my life. If I had been younger, maybe one," he sighed, "but now that I'm getting old, I'll never believe in things like 'give up and start over,' and I can't afford to lie all the time because I've been living in a gentle disillusionment." Living with you in the past, I could neither lie to you nor lie to myself. Even now, I can't lie to you. I wish I could continue to care about your future, but I can't. ”

He took a quick breath and said easily and softly:

"I don't care, dear."

She silently watched him walk up the stairs, only to feel a sharp pain in her throat, and she felt uncomfortable. As his footsteps faded into the upstairs hallway, her last glimmer of hope vanished. It was then that she realized that no amount of emotion or rational call could change the decision of his calm brain. Only then did she realize that although he had said some things lightly just now, everything was true. She understood it because she felt in him a strong, unyielding, unforgiving character, something she had been looking for in Ashley but had never found it.

She didn't really know any of the two men she loved, so she lost them. It was only now that she had vaguely realized that if she had really known Ashley, she would never have fallen in love with him; If she had really gotten to know Ritter, she would never have lost him. She couldn't help but wonder sadly, was there anyone in this world that she really knew?

Then she felt her mind suddenly become dull, and from her own long experience, she knew that this dullness would soon cause severe pain, just like our muscles, which the surgeon's scalpel had just sliced open, first with a brief numbness, and then with a sharp pain.