Chen Ying closed her eyes slightly, and couldn't help but think of those dreams again.

Since she came to this time and space eight years ago and incarnated as the third girl in the second room of the Chengguo Mansion, she has been dreaming the same type of dream, and it was not until more than two years ago that that strange dream came to an end.

For five years, she seemed to have finished her life in a dream.

It is not so much a dream as it is the most important piece of a person's life, condensed into her memory in the form of a dream.

And since more than two years ago, her dreams have become shattered, like dreams in the real sense, and no longer the dreams of life experience with a certain continuity in the past five years.

"Mr. Detective......" Chen Ying muttered to herself, the corners of her lips twisted at a strange angle.

In her dreams, this is what others call her.

Mr. Detective.

Yes, in these dreams for five years in a row, she was no longer her, but he, a Mr. Detective.

The time in the dream jumps in pieces, from youth to old age, and this timeline is clear. In addition, these dreams also have a very distinctive feature, which is that they use cases as an opportunity.

In other words, only the part of the memory or life related to the case will enter Chen Ying's dream.

I've died twice, but I have three memories.

What an amazing opportunity.

Chen Ying turned over again and wrapped the brocade quilt on her body tightly.

The soft fabric caresses the skin and provides a comforting warmth.

It is said that only insecure people will use external objects to create a safe atmosphere for themselves to relieve their inner anxiety.

Is she like that too?

Chen Ying was a little confused.

Whether it is the modern society of the 21st century or the ancient times in which she lived in her previous life, the sense of security for her is an unfamiliar word.

In modern times, she was exhausted, because of her orphan status, she had to work harder than others, from elementary school to admission to a first-class university, she ran desperately every day, for survival, for a way out, for the future, for everything she wanted to get material.

On days like that, where would she have time to feel safe or not? Often at the end of the day, I am so tired that I fall asleep, and I have no time to take care of anything else.

In the deep boudoir house in her previous life, she lived in calculations and strife, fighting her sister, aunt, and grandmother before marriage; After marriage, she fights maids, concubines, and all women who covet the position of her mistress.

From the initial discomfort, to the later like a fish in water, from the beginning of the painstaking study and suppression of nature, to the later natural, proficient, until the end, died in the inner house battle.

In her two lives, she never knew what she wanted, and she never examined her heart.

She just followed the pace of most people blankly, without looking up or looking back.

When people enter, she enters; When people retreat, she retreats too.

Lost to everyone.

And now, for the first time, she tried to stop and began to wonder, why on earth did she follow in the footsteps of most people?

What exactly does she want?

Xu followed others for too long, and it wasn't until she stopped that she realized that she was a person with no goals.

This goal is not the kind of established goal in reality, such as in modern times, when she wanted to buy a house, or in her previous life, she wanted to keep the position of the master mother forever.

Not such a goal.

She has never lacked these goals, and she even did her best to achieve them in her previous life.

She realized that the purpose she lacked was, in fact, the meaning of life.

What do people live for?

What is the meaning of life?

She had never thought about it.

It wasn't until she came to the Great Chu Dynasty and had a strange third memory in her dream that she knew how rich and fulfilling it would be when a person had clear values and outlook on life and lived for ideals and beliefs, and what kind of dazzling light her (his) life would shine with.

If the memories of the first two lives made her understand the truth of impermanence in life, then this life in her dream finally made her understand that in an impermanent life, only faith, ideals, beliefs, or other metaphysical things similar to them can make life no longer pale and boring, and no longer follow the clouds.

Looking at the faint halo outside the gauze tent, Chen Ying smiled silently and bitterly.

It's real, like waking up from a dream.

And the funny thing is that it is none other than herself who awakens her.

The moment she finally came to her senses, she subconsciously pursued the principles of two lifetimes, and it had collapsed.

And the light and the dust.

In the modern age of the twenty-first century, and in the deep house of the past life, she used this wonderful word to endorse herself.

However, at this moment, she can finally tear through those superficial disguises and reveal the ugly and true core.

What did she do, where is it that is the same as the light?

That is simply to go with the flow, to be lazy and cowardly, to replace the wisdom and sobriety of the light and dust.

She's really lived two bad lives.

Especially in the second life, in a bad era, she didn't even do it alone, but became an accomplice of that era.

Under the dim candlelight, Chen Ying grinned.

She didn't understand how she could live like that.

She should have known that the world had never been kind enough to women. But in an era of oppression of women, she uses values that do not belong to her to measure everything, and uses the little power given to her by that era to dump the same sex who are weaker and more powerless than her.

What a sad life it was?

And the saddest thing is that such a life, when she is in the middle of it, is complacent and proud.

She really should have sobered up earlier, but she died of ignorance and confusion after all.

Fortunately, God gave her another chance, giving her the possibility of starting again.

"I'm not afraid of dying alone, I'm only afraid of living insignificant."

This line is from "The Marvelous Ms. Maisel".

Chen Ying's heart was inexplicably a little sore.

It's weird.

In her previous life, she rarely had the opportunity to think of everything in modern times, but after she died twice, those dusty memories were wiped clean again, revealing their original colors.

Perhaps, that's the real her.

After two short lives in a daze, she finally met the real her in the depths of her heart.

She thought, she finally woke up, understood, and understood. In this one, she is willing to live for her true self, even if the moth fights the fire, even if the head is broken and the blood flows, it is better than dying with this bad era.

Unconsciously, Chen Ying fell asleep again, but there was no dream all night.