"I know it's wrong." Zhang Weizhao bowed his head and replied.

How easy it is to admit mistakes? This made Chen Jianjun a little unexpected. He continued, "What's wrong?" ”

"As for His Majesty the Emperor's health, I can only look at it, in fact, I should be more dialectical and then make judgments. Why don't I take your pulse first? Zhang Weizhao raised his head with a serious expression.

Chen Jianjun almost laughed angrily.

"I'm interrogating you! I didn't want you to see me! "Just like Empress Dowager Liu doesn't like to call herself a mourner, Chen Jianjun usually doesn't like a pronoun like me in the harem, but once he wants to emphasize his authority, he will call himself me.

"I wonder what I've sinned? Your Majesty, you are going to interrogate me one after another? ”

"You're suspected of witchcraft."

"I don't know witchcraft, don't you already know about this majesty? If you don't confirm this, will you allow such a dangerous person as me to stand here and talk to you? ”

Chen Jianjun was speechless for a while. He's not a man who doesn't know how to speak, it's just that no one has spoken to him so boldly in years. Who has nothing to do to choke this sensitive Emperor Majesty? So when he heard this, he suddenly couldn't react.

After a pause, he said with a stern expression: "You slandered the ancestors of the Chen family last time, and you haven't been punished yet!" ”

"The gossip is not slander, but it is based on the truth."

"How do you know that Cheng Zu's lineage has similar symptoms? The veins of the emperors of the past dynasties are not at all something that you, a wild Taoist doctor, can see. ”

"I deduced it from the truth."

"On what basis did you deduce that? If you believe it, you will be punished for several crimes! ”

"Then may you ask Your Majesty to answer me a few questions? In that year, after the first emperor returned to the great treasure, he took you back to the Forbidden City from the Prince's Mansion. You were only nine years old at the time, and during that time, did you not like to talk, do not like to interact with people, did not like to laugh, and often walked alone? Do you often feel stiff in your limbs and cold in your hands and feet? Zhang Weizhao did not answer Chen Jianjun, but threw out a series of questions.

Chen Jianjun became angry again, and said sharply: "What if it is, what if it is not? "Those childhood encounters, he didn't want to touch anymore. This Taoist doctor, so unscrupulous, stepped into his forbidden area again.

"If so, you were sick by then."

"Joke! You're completely pretentious and sensational. Will I know if I was sick at that time? "Although Chen Jianjun's body qi was weak during that time and he often used various ways to take supplements, he felt that he was not infected with any disease.

"The body is not sick, but the heart is sick. Or rather, poisoned. Zhang Weizhao lowered his head and replied steadily.

"How can the heart be poisoned?" Chen Jianjun frowned.

"Because at that time, your uncle was not raising you as a child with a warm and loving heart, but calculating you, jealous of you, and even wanting to kill you. If love is nourishing, then resentment, resentment, and murderous intent are poison. ”

Hearing these words, Chen Jianjun couldn't even breathe at all for a moment, and his body froze and couldn't move. For many years, everything that his uncle Emperor Chen Huaiyu did to him, whether it was his father Emperor Chen Huaishen, his mother Liu, and his grandmother Sun, they were all consciously or unintentionally avoiding.

They will comfort him, and all this will pass, and no one will treat him badly again. will vaguely say that Chen Huaiyu is ruthless and ill-intentioned, which made him suffer at a young age. Through this comfort, they hope to make him forget the fear, inferiority and despair he experienced from the age of four to nine, and forget the scolding, ridicule, demand, and mental abuse.

They didn't want to hear him talk about how lonely and afraid he was when he was thrown out of the Forbidden City alone, isolated from his parents and grandmother. I don't want to hear him tell him how he was terrified when the uncle tortured and killed the eunuchs and palace maids around him.

They were kind and kind to him, and did not hesitate to meet his every request. But whenever he wanted to start talking a little bit about what happened to him, they just talked about him, or they just told him not to say anything more, it didn't make sense. It was as if how he lived in those years, they didn't want to know at all, and they didn't want to see it.

They felt that as long as his father sat back on the dragon chair, everything would be fine. The father is still the father, the mother is still the concubine, the empress dowager is still the empress dowager, he is still the crown prince, the heir of the empire. As for the haze of the past, forget it, why indulge in it?

But he didn't think he was okay at all. Although the uncle is dead, he still lives in his dreams, in which he reprimands him for being cowardly and incompetent; accuses him of improper posture, wrong posture of holding the pen, picky eater, weakness, and no one of them; They would beat him in their dreams and approach him with a bloody torture instrument with a hideous face.

He also often dreams of being hunted by unknown monsters, sometimes with a hideous face, sometimes with a dark shadow that can't see his face. He runs desperately in his dreams, chasing his things but following him, he often wakes up the moment he is caught by a monster, and then he is dizzy and palpitating due to fear for a long time, and he is too afraid to fall asleep, and the result of lack of sleep is a headache.

At that time, only Jin Ling'er was willing to talk about old things with him, and listen to him tell the scenes he encountered in his dreams over and over again. And his dependence on this palace maid has become a proof of his willfulness and weakness.

Zhang Weizhao asked him if he didn't like to talk at that time, whether he often was alone in a daze, and whether his hands and feet were cold, which just hit his point.

He was numb at that moment. He often felt mentally tired, weak when he walked, and his limbs were stiff. He often tried to dig a hole to retract himself, and then closed the hole tightly, without any contact with the outside world, and just slept until he was willing to wake up.

Fortunately, after his father re-ascended the throne, he was busy with state affairs and relocated the harem. His mother, Liu Guifei, was busy taking care of her body damaged by years of hard work, and was busy taking care of her younger brother. Grandmother, Empress Dowager Sun, simply closed the door and didn't ask about everything. And all of them felt guilty about him, so they let him not go to the Wenhua Hall to study for three days, but hide in his own temple and indulge in painting.

In the painting, his panicked soul can be relaxed and inhabited. After two years in this way, he slowly regained his breath and had the strength to learn to be an heir who lived up to his father's expectations.

Now Zhang Weizhao told him that the loneliness, stiffness, and numbness of his youth were not because he was naturally gloomy and weird, but because he was sick and poisoned, which gave him a feeling of mixed feelings. However, in childhood and adolescence he has always endured cowardice, unstable temperament, and is not a worthy heir. Even now, he still suspects that some courtiers talk behind his back that he is suspicious and thoughtful, that he is not a qualified monarch, and that he will not say it to his face. He seems to have struggled with this harsh criticism all his life, and now, he has been told that this criticism is not true at all, and he cannot believe it.

"Only a cowardly heart can get sick, and if it is strong enough, how can it get sick and poisoned?" Chen Jianjun asked rhetorically.

"Nope! All people get sick, both physically and mentally. This is an inevitable part of the life process. ”

"Even a saint?"

"Even a saint!"

"When you say this, aren't you afraid of adding a charge of slandering a saint to yourself?"

"Saints become saints because they don't ignore their own vulnerability, pain, and despair. Yes, even saints can feel vulnerable, helpless, miserable and hopeless. But unlike ordinary people, they don't run away from them, they face them squarely, and they become enlightened from them. Otherwise, there would be no Lao Tzu and the Tao Te Ching, and there would be no enlightenment of Sakyamuni. ”

This set is very different from the teachings of Confucianism since childhood: "I am good at nurturing my heroic spirit", "the rich and the rich cannot be lewd, the poor and the lowly cannot be moved, and the mighty cannot be bent, which is called the great husband", "the three armies can win their commandery, and the husband cannot win the ambition", which is very different.

This set of Confucian teachings is to make people a moral model that transcends human nature. And Lao Tzu and Shakyamuni are to make people accept themselves, gain insight into human nature, and then liberate.

At this point in the discussion, Chen Jianjun felt that his frozen limbs began to loosen, and his breathing began to flow smoothly.

He secretly breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Well, you are right about the symptoms of my youth. Chen Jianjun uses the term "I" here, as if the word is a shield against the accusations he may encounter when he acknowledges these symptoms.

"However, this is due to the special circumstances of my childhood. What basis do you have for saying that all the previous emperors before me had similar symptoms? ”

"Because since becoming an ancestor, the emperors of this line have been forced to separate from their mothers since they were young, and they have all suffered serious injuries from their own flesh and blood." As he said these words, Zhang Weizhao raised his head and looked directly into Chen Jianjun's eyes without concealment.

Chen Jianjun also looked at her. Zhang Weizhao's eyes seemed to have a strange attraction, and Chen Jianjun had a feeling of being wet and soaked in an instant when he plunged into the water. But the water was not cold, and it had a strong carrying capacity, which would not let him drown and suffocate.

The moment he listened to Zhang Weizhao say these words, Chen Jianjun instinctively sensed danger. This girl, I don't know how she has gained insight into many of Chen's secrets, should she get rid of her immediately?

However, when making eye contact with Zhang Weizhao, this thought somehow instantly ebbed and flowed. He wondered how she had learned all about it. Her head was on her shoulder for the time being, and he could bring it whenever he wanted.

"You seem to know a lot of palace secrets." He said coldly.

Chen Jianjun himself was forced to be separated from his mother since he was a child, which is a well-known thing in the world. But his father, Emperor Chen Huaishen, has never lived with his biological mother since he was a child, but this is a secret matter in the court.