One.

A doctor who absconded to the United States had nothing to do, so he opened a private clinic and put a sign on the outside that read, "If you are cured, pay $300; If you can't be cured, you will be refunded $1,000." "An American saw the sign and thought it was a good opportunity to make money, so he decided to go to the doctor's office.www.biquge.info

American: "I've lost my sense of taste, and I don't have a taste in my mouth when I eat." ”

Doctor: "Nurse, take box 22 and put three drops in the patient's mouth." ”

The American took a sip and scolded: "Damn, this is gasoline!"

The doctor smiled and said, "Congratulations, your sense of taste has recovered, pay 300." ”

The Americans had no choice but to pay and walked away very unhappy.

But a few days later, the Americans returned to the clinic, intending to get back the lost money.

American: "I lost my memory, I can't remember anything." ”

Doctor: "Nurse, take box 22 and put three drops in the patient's mouth." ”

When the American heard the name of the drug, he scolded: "Damn, isn't this the gasoline that cured the taste last time!?"

Doctor: "Congratulations, your memory has returned, please pay 300." ”

The Americans had no choice but to pay again and left angrily. A few days later, I returned to the clinic.

American: "My eyesight is very poor. ”

The doctor took out his wallet, handed the money over, and said ashamedly: "I'm sorry! I don't have any medicine to cure this disease, this is 1000 for you..."

The Americans just looked at it and immediately complained, "But there are only 500 here!"

Doctor: "Congratulations, your eyesight is back, please pay me 300......"

The American went to the clinic again, and this time decided to pretend to be insane, thinking that this time he would pretend to be crazy and stupid no matter what the doctor did.

Who knows, the village chief was overjoyed when he saw this, and hurriedly called the American's wife: "Honey, your husband is like this, what are we doing secretly?"

After hearing this, the American snatched the phone and questioned his wife. Who knew that the phone didn't hang up at all.

The Americans found out that they had been deceived and confessed to paying.

Suddenly, one day, the American thought of a good idea, he found a doctor, and said: "I have been chasing a Chinese novel called "Absolute Choice" recently, although the update is quite good, but it is always not enjoyable, can book addiction be cured?"

As soon as these words came out, the doctor immediately handed over 2,000 US dollars and cried: "Brother, I am also chasing "Absolute Option", if it can be cured, I will treat myself a long time ago!"

The American was stunned for a moment and asked, "It turns out that he is a fellow believer... But why give me 2,000?"

When the doctor heard this, he straightened his face and said: "The extra $1,000 is for you to subscribe and reward, and good books need to be subscribed to support, understand? In case the author of "Absolute Choice" is too subscribed to the street, and the result is a eunuch, won't our book addiction become a terminal disease?"

......

Two.

Some people say I'm handsome, I stood on the balcony and thought about it for a night, who leaked the news?

It is said that when I was born, my father cried hoarsely for a month and a half, and he beat me to death and did not believe that I was a child inherited from his chromosomes. Later, in order to prove her innocence, the mother dragged her father to the hospital for a paternity test, and the doctor opened the quilt and cried after just looking at it, wiped his nose and said go back, this is not your son, no one's, human beings can't give birth to such a handsome child.

An intern beautiful nurse came over, immediately found a box of red ink, printed my fingerprints, and spread out the coiled hair at once, and muttered to me: Long hair is reserved for you, if you don't marry you in this life, don't cut your long hair, clear the ancient Buddha, and comb yourself in the boudoir.

When I was 15 years old, I didn't dare to go to school, not that I didn't go to school, I didn't dare to go to kindergarten for a long time, the children's teachers and the principal of the kindergarten were crazy, and my face was swollen into a watermelon by a little girl. The CCTV Focus Talk program team came to interview me, the beautiful woman in charge of interviewing me fainted 3 times, and the little girl in charge of the transcript wrote Chinese into Italian and Spanish.

The United Nations earmarked a shelter for me to build atop Mount Everest in the Himalayas. I enjoyed true purity, the blue sky was so close to me, God was literally within reach. Although it was pure, it was also extremely boring, and I stood on the top and shouted, "Why am I so handsome?"

God suddenly jumped out and said solemnly, "Because you subscribed to "Absolute Option"!"

......

Three.

The rich man was walking his dog when a killer jumped out of the grass and shot the dog twice.

The rich man was furious: "What are you killing my dog for?"

The killer sneered: "Someone spent 5 million to let me take your dog's life!"

The rich man glanced at the killer, shook his hand excitedly and said, "Who is your Chinese teacher? I'm going to send him a red envelope!"

The next day, the killer scurried out of the grass again and snatched the rich man's iPhone 6s.

The rich man said nervously, "Why are you robbing my phone?"

The killer sneered again and said, "Because that person spends another 10 million, let me take your head (mobile phone)!"

The rich man shook his hand again excitedly and said, "Who is your Chinese teacher? I'm going to send him two big red envelopes!"

It rained heavily at night, and he was in danger twice in succession, and the rich man felt that he could no longer live here, so he took an umbrella and tried to sneak out of the door. As soon as I arrived at the door, the killer appeared again!

The killer laughed, "Hehe, I knew you were going out, I was waiting for you!"

After the killer finished speaking, he threw 5 million yuan to the rich man, saying that this was to pay you for the dog's money, and stuffed the robbed iphone6s into the rich man's arms, and suddenly snatched the umbrella.

The killer held the umbrella and sneered!"My master is so clever that he knew that you would take the umbrella out, so he wrote a note to me and asked me to grab the umbrella!"

The killer finished speaking, threw down the note and walked away.

The rich man picked up the note and looked at it, on which was the angry wild grass of the killer owner: "Don't be a dog, don't want a mobile phone!!, want his life (umbrella)!!" The rich man knelt down directly, "Dear Chinese teacher, where are you?"

Three years later, the rich man finally found the killer's Chinese teacher.

The rich man was grateful and said, "You are really a good teacher, I will send you three big red envelopes!"

The Chinese teacher's eyes lit up when he heard this, and he said loudly: "Really!?"

The rich man nodded, and was about to take out the check in his arms, but saw the Chinese teacher come over with his mobile phone.

The Chinese teacher pointed to the mobile phone and said, "Do you really want to send a red envelope to my "Absolute Option"? Is it a red envelope for a recommendation ticket or a red envelope for a monthly pass?"

The rich man was stunned and a little overwhelmed.

The Chinese teacher seemed to have thought of something, and suddenly his face darkened, and said: "Forget it, it's too embarrassing for you to send red envelopes, let's subscribe to the waves, it only costs a dime to subscribe to a chapter!"

......

Four.

Liu Zongyuan was arrested, met Li Bai in prison, and asked why he was imprisoned,

Li Bai said: "The crime of spreading rumors, the flying stream goes straight down to 3,000 feet, and people measure it, it's not that long."

Liu Zongyuan said: "To each other, I said that a thousand mountains and birds are flying, and someone reported that there is another one on the tree."

When he was sighing, Du Mu came in, and everyone was busy asking, how did you get in?

Du Mu said: "Alas, it is suspected of style problems. ”

Everyone said in unison: "Is it parking to sit in love with the maple forest night",

Du Mu said hatefully: "Yes, it is said that Lao Tzu is suspected of car shock!"

At this time, Lu You also came in scolding,

Everyone hurriedly asked, "Why are you?"

Lu You said: "I wrote a sentence, 'Don't say that the cow is old and late, I am still working hard today. Said that I still wanted to ********* at the age of 80, and at this time, Li Qingzhao was imprisoned and passed by.

Everyone was shocked and asked, "What's wrong with the weak woman?" ”

He replied: "'I often remember the twilight of Xiting, and I don't know the way back when I am drunk'." Suspected of drunk driving detention. ”

When everyone sighed, Su Shi pushed the door in, and everyone wondered: "What's the matter with you?"

Su Shi sighed, "Involving yellow, I just wrote a sentence, 'Looking horizontally at the side of the ridge into a peak, the distance and the height are different.' ’”

"They say that I peeked at women, and my motives were not pure, what a world!"

"Yesterday after drinking, I wrote a poem, 'Three or two peach blossoms outside the bamboo, the prophet of the plumbing duck in the spring river. ’”

"As a result, they said that I was a duck, and I was wronged..."

At this moment, a mysterious person was also pressed in, and everyone saw that this person was so good-looking.

Everyone said in unison, "What did you write again?"

The mysterious man was stunned for a moment, and cried: "I wrote a chapter begging for subscriptions, they said that I cheated, said that I deceived their feelings and money, I was wronged, I just... Weakly begging for a subscription?"

......

Five.

(1) The owner suffered a car accident and fell on the side of the road, and the loving pet dog did not abandon the side to protect the owner and not allow outsiders to approach, and finally delayed the treatment time and died

(1) The child always kicks the quilt when he sleeps, but fortunately I found out in time that he broke his leg, otherwise he would definitely catch a cold.

(2) Xiao Ming encountered a ferocious savage in the wild and has now joined the KFC Deluxe Lunch.

(3) The pervert hugged the female passerby and wanted to explode, and the witty girl completed the makeup removal in ten seconds and successfully scared the hooligan away.

(4) 17 students asked the off-campus youth to fight in the playground after school, and the class teacher knew about it, and the head teacher immediately called the principal and took out 50 yuan to bet on the off-campus youth to win.

(5) The pregnant woman suddenly fainted on the bus, and the most beautiful conductor united dozens of caring passengers to rescue her, and finally woke up the pregnant woman to make up the ticket

(6) Seeing you here, you finally understood the importance of true love and sincerity, and silently subscribed for "Absolute Option" to save a runaway teenager.

......

(ps. Because of the starting point of sweeping pornography, only these few ads that are not pornographic were selected, because I was afraid that the length would be too long, and everyone was too tired to watch, so only five were selected, but everyone can rest assured, all kinds of subscription ads will be released in the free single chapter in the future, and everyone can't watch it if they want to, haha!)