Ao Chuxue hasn't talked to Xia Qianye for almost a month, and Chiba began to contact frequently, make frequent phone calls, and send frequent text messages, but he didn't reply for a long time, and he felt very tired, so he didn't send much. He thought that someone else was "on honeymoon" with his new boyfriend, so how could he possibly take care of him. He got tired and gave up. In the past few days, he has been observing Lu Junya every day, and he seems to see a little bit of hope, although it is very slim, but he doesn't want to give up this life-saving straw, thinking that since Ao Chuxue doesn't want me, then I will continue to work Lu Junya, so I went to provoke Lu Junya again.

On May 21, 2011, near the end of the second semester of her sophomore year, Chiba asked Lu Junya to come out to talk, and she agreed. They were talking on the grass outside the table tennis room of a club.

Lu Junya: "What do you like about me?" ”

Chiba, showing an extremely sad look, squeaked and whined for a long time, but did not answer.

Lu Junya looked at him like this, and she didn't know what to ask, she was really speechless.

So he gave him the difference between appreciation, liking and love:

appreciation, that is, to enjoy beautiful things and appreciate the fun in them; Think something or something is good, like it, and praise it.

Liking can include appreciation, love, affection, pity, admiration, admiration and other meanings, but it usually refers to love. It is a kind of inside-out, non-urgent need, acquisition and possession outside of maintaining one's own existence. It's more about getting emotional satisfaction. A moderately strong form of interpersonal attraction is also a general form of interpersonal attraction. There is a certain difference and connection between love and love. Like is the sublimation of good feelings, and different kinds of good feelings correspond to different kinds of likes, which are the basis of love.

Through a large number of studies, social psychologists have summarized some important factors that influence liking:

1. Similarity

People like people who are similar to themselves. Similarities include:

1. Similarity of beliefs, values and personality traits.

2. Similarity of attraction.

3. Similarity of social status.

4. Similarity of age.

The actual similarity is important, but even more important is the perceived similarity between the two parties.

2. Complementarity

Complementarity is also important for liking and can be seen as a special form of similarity. There are three complements:

1. Complementarity of needs.

2. Complementarity of social roles.

3. Complementarity of certain personality traits, such as introversion and extroversion.

When the needs, roles and personality traits of both parties are complementary, the attraction is strong.

3. Attractive appearance

Personal external factors such as appearance, posture, clothing, manners, and demeanor often play a great role in the formation of interpersonal feelings. Appearance is easy to create a good first impression, and people are easy to judge people by their appearance. Physical beauty can have a halo effect, i.e., people who tend to think that physical beauty also have other good qualities, although in reality this is not necessarily the case.

Fourth, personality quality

American scholar Anderson Research Plant affects the personality qualities of interpersonal relationships. The table below shows the main results. It can be seen that the six personality qualities at the top of the sequence and the most liked are: sincerity, honesty, understanding, loyalty, truthfulness, and trustworthiness, which are more or less, directly or indirectly related to sincerity; The lowest level of affection at the end of the series, such as lying, pretending, and dishonesty, are also related to sincerity. According to Anderson, sincerity is welcome, while insincerity is disgusting.

5. Familiarity and proximity

Familiarity increases the level of liking.

Proximity refers to the fact that an individual prefers people in their neighborhood if all other things are more or less equal.

Familiarity and proximity are both. It is related to the frequency of communication between people, people who are close to the physical space have more opportunities to meet, which is easy to attract and shorten the distance between their psychological space.

It is easy to understand each other when they meet often, so they like each other, but the relationship between the frequency of communication and the degree of liking shows an inverted U-shaped curve, that is, the degree of mutual liking is not high due to the conditions of too low and too high communication frequency, and the degree of liking each other is higher under the condition of medium communication frequency.