"Five Years of Confusion" / 2016-02-28

With a strong sense of fate with Qiong Zimei - many coincidences (see the diary 20160223 multiple coincidences and the diary 2016022514 just reply), I just reviewed the nature of love in episode 08 of the second season of Long Wings, and then when I saw the breakup video at the end of episode 09 of the first season of Long Wings, I was trying to write about my love experience at this time (was I misunderstanding Ao Chuxue whether she liked me or whether she really loved me, and I was thinking back to the previous struggles with this issue), But I can't figure out what is going on, if she doesn't love me, then why was she so good to me before, if she loves me, why is she so ruthless, why I refuse to come back, at this time, suddenly I figured it out.

It should look like this,

There are still two possibilities, the former accounts for 99%,

I've always been accustomed to imagining others as noble,

There's no way around it,

I've been unable to figure it out for the past four years.

The first possibility,

Obvious signs that she likes me,

Also, the voice and tone are not deceiving,

I also asked her how often I could call her,

When I heard her answer, she must have loved me,

We were in love only by phone,

I haven't officially confessed,

thought that both sides should think yes,

The default is boyfriend and girlfriend,

This makes her even more insecure,

In those days, I called once or twice a week.

It's all me saying she's listening,

I also talked about how time-consuming graduate school is.

I went to the grass and called her,

She also went outside to take it,

I've done a lot of things to hurt her,

It's also funny to say,

I didn't understand anything then,

I also said that I could choose between the three of them.

Or send three text messages in groups,

It's stupid to get home,

I also talked to her about my English pen pal,

I also asked Luo Yanfang,

She said that the other party is a girl, and there will be uneasiness, normal,

I didn't understand the meaning of that sentence at the time,

After a long time, when I was about to graduate, I was taking the day of the teaching certificate, she promised to go to dinner with me, on the way she took a fancy to something, she took it and said he paid for it, after buying it, she opened it and gave me half of it, on the way she met an acquaintance, the acquaintance said your boyfriend, she said my classmate, why didn't I rush to say at that time, she is my girlfriend, so stupid. Then I took her to the car.

Later, after she went back, I contacted her, she asked me what I was for you, I said girlfriend, she said no, and I haven't contacted her again.

(The chronological order of the above events is not very clear, you have to look at the diary, which is arranged randomly)

Why did it happen so long ago, until February 28, 2016 around 5 o'clock in the morning, I was about to propose to someone else, only 100% confirmed, she loves me, we just talked about it, I told the fact that I was with Ao Chuxue to the high school English teacher and many of my high school classmates, thinking of this and then thinking about the white-haired witch I saw when I was young, Zhuo Yihang ignored her previous oath and hurt her after being deceived, she has been unwilling to see her again, and the song Xia Qianye,

As the lyrics of Xia Chiba,

She loves me,

And I did hurt her again and again,

Indeed, I did not perceive it,

Loneliness is the hurt I give you,

You are my simplest happiness, I was really happy in those days,

It also made me cry completely, no matter how I try to get it back, you won't come back, I walked to your school to see you, you didn't even want to see me, I cried in your school's pavilion for a long time, and you only let a male classmate come and talk to me,

What will I say I love you, but I'm afraid I'll make you sadder,

When in love,

We haven't met, we've never dated,

Just talking on the phone all the time,

After the breakup,

She wouldn't let me see her,

Because I just confessed to a man and was rejected,

The other party almost already had a boyfriend at that time,

Maybe she's burned all the memories,

Maybe it doesn't make me like her because of her looks or sympathy,

The fact is that the white-haired witch refused to see Zhuo Yihang, and I didn't know it was like this at the time.

I mentioned to her something about the girls in the class.

In a state of uneasiness,

I've confirmed many times whether I really like her,

For example, if you borrow money from me, see if I borrow or not,

Since I don't borrow the fucking result,

I was about to help her get space.

After a busy day, it didn't work out,

Not in a good mood,

And then there seemed to be a little contradiction,

Even if it doesn't seem to be said positively, plus the text message at the back: Let's break up.

We did fall in love.

At the beginning of "With a strong sense of fate with Qiong Zimei - many coincidences", I think that Qiong Zimei and I are fateful, there are many coincidences, it is suitable, it is similar, and it is destined. I thought she was too noble and loved me very much but broke up because I didn't love her. At this time, I firmly believed that the association of non-consensual people would only bring misfortune, and that it was fate for consensual people to be together, and that everything that had happened had already been arranged, so I found someone similar and thought that she was my partner in this life. So she loved me very much, so she proposed to break up, just like the girl in Long Wings proposed to break up, they didn't want to do this in their hearts, just out of necessity. Therefore, I thought she was great, so I logged in to QQ and sent the following message to her. I sent it out with the idea that I would never be with her again.

Xia Chiba: 05:10:24

I seem to have figured out something, if I think about it this way, everything that has happened is reasonable, I want to say to you, "I'm sorry, I really couldn't figure it out before", you were more sensible than me from the beginning, I will be grateful, save all the remaining memories, and live this life. Best wishes! ”

At this time, my view of love is:

The so-called love,

If you like each other first, you lose,

It's to make the other person like themselves first.

Being together with people who are not consensual will only bring misfortune.

The so-called love,

If you like each other first, you lose,

It's to make the other person like themselves first.

Being together with people who are not consensual will only bring misfortune.

———— five years of confusion ————

Although Chiba was sure that Ao Chuxue loved him 99%, he felt that it was too late to be with her, because he and Qiong Zimei were a natural pair, fate, fate, and love.