On April 8, 2017, Chiba wrote a journal about love "It doesn't make sense for both parties to tilt"

"Leaning doesn't make sense for both sides"

In life, there are always such desires and luxuries, difficulties and reluctance, we always set too high goals for ourselves, plan too perfect prospects, we force, can't let go, unforgettable, life becomes tired and loses luster in many such states, but is this what we really need? Where are all those coveted joys and freedoms? This article will tell you about the state and wisdom that life really needs: calm, abandon, and abandon...... If you reduce too many desires and demands, you will be much happier.

People denounce emotions endlessly, and people blame everything on man, forgetting that emotions are also the source of all his happiness. Emotion, therefore, by its very nature, is a factor that can neither be said too well nor too badly. —Diderot

Love is probably the most wonderful thing in the world, it is sweet and fascinating; Love is probably the most terrible thing in the world, like poison, if you are not careful, it will kill people. Even if we can't guarantee that love will always bring us happiness, it still can't stop people from pursuing.

The pursuit of love seems to be the innate nature of human beings. The little boy would say to the pretty little girl, "I want to marry you," even though they didn't know what that meant by "marrying." The innocent boy said to the girl, "I will like you for the rest of my life", even if this kind of oath is broken by the wind, it can make the girl blush and heartbeat and moved to tears; The mature handsome man said to the fair lady, "You are my dish", even though the dishes on his table may change and change, but at this moment it is the hungry man and a plate of dry wood fire; A middle-aged man with a successful career said to the divorced woman who still had charm, "I will make you happy", two simple words, inexhaustible sincerity of middle-aged love; The old man with a slightly hunched back said to the woman with white sideburns, I am willing to be your crutch in the second half of my life...... Love is in this kind of honey and tenderness, like a gorgeous and soft silk dress, which makes people love it.

However, love is a complex combination, it is made of honey and tenderness, but it is made of quarrels, mutual torment, mutual distrust, mutual disagreement, and sometimes betrayal and injury as condiments. Don't torture both parties in love until they are exhausted and miserable, and never give up. And among them, whichever party is more emotional, pays more, and invests more, the damage may be even worse. My best friend is getting married, and while I am happy for her, I am inevitably worried. After all, judging from the love history of the two, she loves each other more.

It was she who fell in love with him at first sight, so she launched a strong offensive to take down the other party. However, during their relationship, they split and reunited many times, and each time they separated, it was she who took the initiative to show favor to the other party to save the situation. As friends, we are not optimistic about their relationship. In fact, my friend is not bad-looking, and there are quite a few people who pursue her, many of whom are more excellent, but she is stunned that the other party will not marry.

Now, after a lot of effort, she finally realized her dream of marrying him, and as friends, we only have blessings.

However, what no one expected was that this marriage would come for a long time and go quickly. Three months after the marriage, her husband went on a business trip abroad, which was half a year, and at first he made a transatlantic phone call, writing Zhao Shuidanm Lu Junyail, but the more he went on, the fewer calls and emails, and by half a year, there was almost no news at all.

At one point, she frantically wrote emails to her husband and called the same number he had made, but she didn't get a response. In the end, despite the opposition of her parents, she resolutely quit her job and raised a sum of money to go abroad to find a husband. However, what made her desperate was that during the days when she was waiting for her visa, her husband replied to her a long email, telling her in a decisive way that he had never loved her, and that the reason why he fell in love with her and married her was completely sympathetic to her, and now that he had found his true love, he hoped that she would release him.

Looking at the contents of the email, she cried like a child who had been separated from her parents. She couldn't believe that the man she loved would say such a decisive thing, and she decided that it must be someone else who was joking on her. In the end, I went abroad and wanted to listen to the other party tell me in person. However, when she finally saw him, she saw him holding hands with other women and talking and laughing on the street.

After returning to China, she couldn't afford to get sick, she didn't want to take injections or medicine, and even committed suicide by cutting her wrists during the period. However, her abuse of herself cannot change the fact that her husband does not love her and empathizes. She invested too much emotion in this marriage contract, and she could only lick her wounds alone. Love is a sharp blade, and the more you invest, the more damage you may suffer! Friends are persistent, but in exchange for the other party's injustice, it is really not cost-effective.

Some people may say that love is mutual, since the other party doesn't love themselves, then invest less, why bother to devote yourself diligently, and make yourself embarrassed in the end? However, for you, when you start a relationship, how can you predict how much damage you will suffer later? You may just be thinking that you want to love someone, make him happy, and compose a love with him. However, when I put it in, I got hurt. The other party may just play with you, maybe he once loved but now he doesn't love you, maybe he met someone better than you, so he resolutely abandoned you, and as a full-time devotion, you can only break your muscles and bones, and you can't help but die.

In fact, you can be more cautious and more decisive. When you feel that the other person does not love you, when you feel that starting a love does not end well, when you feel that the other person may not be able to make you happy, why should we just get hurt for love?

Someone may say to you, even if you want the stars in the sky, they will pick them for you, but where is the way to heaven? Do you have to risk a bloody storm just for such sweet words? Maybe someone is handsome and dashing, suave, and his appearance attracts you, fascinates you, and makes you want to devote yourself to him, but what is his heart? Is there a place for you?

Some people say that when a man cries, he really loves, and when a woman cries, he really gives up. So the question is, if a woman cries, it's over, so is it absolutely impossible to let a woman cry? On the contrary, if you want a man to fall in love with him, should he be made to cry to death, crying painfully?

Love does not need one party to give in again and again, and it does not need one party to humbly redeem it again and again, and unequal love is meaningless, let alone forced.

If the scales are not tilted, it will be meaningless for both sides. Love, to be equal, you can't say that in order not to make the other party sad, you have no bottom line to accommodate and no bottom line to be humble.

Less emotion, love is a sharp blade, the more you move, the more you hurt, which party moves more, which party loves more, pays more, invests more, and the hurt may be even worse.