My name is Ji Zang, and I am an undertaker.

Master Li, who brought me into the industry, told me that there are many taboos in this industry, such as not speaking loudly when applying makeup to a corpse, so as not to disturb the rest of the "guests" and cause trouble; Another example is that you only work during the day and don't work at night.

Among these rules, there are two most taboos: first, you must not steal from guests; Second, no matter how superb the makeup skills are, you can't put makeup on the living, because the undertaker is sending the dead on the road.

It's just that Master Li died in a car accident at work the next day, and became the first guest I sent away with makeup independently, which is really ironic.

The salary of the mortuary is not as high as the outside world imagined, and I have had a girlfriend in the past six months, so the expenses are even greater, so I also took up private work under the encouragement of my iron buddy Zheng Zhilong, and my income has increased a lot.

Tonight was another private job, but it was extraordinary.

This is an ancient corpse, which was accidentally dug up when the district chief's family repaired the ancestral grave, this is a young lady in the Guangxu period, who died due to dystocia, and what is staggering is that this ancient corpse has not rotted for more than 100 years, and it looks like she is asleep.

It is said that the female corpse is abnormally beautiful, and several workers at the scene have evil thoughts and want to do that kind of dirty thing to the corpse, but fortunately, the master's family arrived in time to prevent them from succeeding, but the female corpse was also trampled to disheveled, and the district chief's family could only find us, spend a lot of money to let us put on makeup for the female corpse, and also asked us to keep it strictly confidential.

In order to put makeup on the ancient corpse, the district chief's family also sent a set of high-end cosmetics, which I saw at the counter of the mall when my girlfriend and I were shopping, and this complete set of cosmetics could not be obtained at all without fifteen thousand.

Zheng Zhilong proposed that I take this set of high-end cosmetics back and give it to my girlfriend Sasha as a birthday present in a few days.

"Wouldn't it be too obscure? Didn't you say that you can't take the things of the dead? "I'm a little reassured.

"What's unlucky, I haven't opened the seal, besides, this corpse is more than a hundred years ago, and the newly bought cosmetics have nothing to do with her, so don't worry."

Zheng Zhilong is right, I'm tempted, Sasha has been coveting this set of cosmetics for a long time, if she takes it back to her, she will definitely be very happy, maybe she can unlock two more sets of bed positions.

After the distribution of the spoils, it is time to work, Zheng Zhilong, this guy is lazy donkey grinding and urine, saying that he has a stomachache and goes to the toilet, in desperation, I have to work alone.

When I lifted the white cloth covering the female corpse, I couldn't take my eyes off it at a glance, this female corpse was so beautiful, more beautiful than the big stars on TV.

She was wearing a Qing palace dress, her long black hair was scattered, her eyes were closed, there was a hint of a smile on her face, and the clothes on her upper body were rudely torn open, revealing a green belly pocket, embroidered with a red strange flower, and the skin exposed outside the belly pocket was like mutton fat jade, which made people feel the urge to touch it.

I was a little dry-mouthed, and I withdrew my gaze with difficulty, surprised in my heart, no wonder the workers at the scene could not control it, and wanted to plot against this female corpse, this temptation was too great.

I checked it, and there was no damage to the body, the workload was not large, and the only trouble was to tidy up the clothes and comb the hair of the female corpse.

I took a wet towel to wipe the body of the female corpse, but uncontrollably evil thoughts popped up in my mind, and the snow-white skin of the female corpse and the towering place under the belly pocket began to become extremely tempting.

I couldn't help but reach out and touch the towering place, the place where I reached was soft and elastic, and a tingling sensation went straight down my arm into my heart, making my brain suddenly blank, and in a trance, I seemed to see the female corpse showing me a charming smile, most of my soul was hooked, and the whole body became light.

At this moment, a cat meow came from nowhere, the voice was sharp, and it came into my ears, as if an awl was sticking straight into my brain, and the pain was incomparable, and I woke up with a spirit, only to find that I had bent down, and kissed the female corpse on the lips only a few centimeters.

This female corpse is weird!

As an undertaker, I have handled not one thousand but eight hundred female corpses, but I have never encountered such a situation - where is this beautiful female corpse, obviously it is a seduction!

I turned around and ran out, bumped into Zheng Zhilong who came back from the toilet at the door, I told him about the situation, but he didn't care: "You have been holding it for too long, just go back and talk to your family a few more times, you can't pick and choose, if you offend the district chief, we can still have good fruit to eat?" ”

In desperation, I had to go back to the grooming room and continue to put on makeup for the female corpse, but this time nothing happened, and I put on the makeup for the female corpse smoothly and got everything done.

After putting on my makeup, a question suddenly occurred to me that gave me a creep: Where did that cat meow come from?

You know, one of the taboos in the funeral home is not to let cats and dogs approach, the walls around the funeral home are equipped with anti-cat thorns, and there are high-frequency ultrasonic drives away at the gate, ordinary cats and dogs will not approach at all, so where does this cat meow come from?

The work was done, I took 10,000 yuan in cash from my family, and I carried the set of high-end cosmetics hidden in a black plastic bag, and went home in a trance.

When I got home, I put my things on the coffee table in the living room and went to the shower - this is the rule when working in a funeral home, I have to take a shower after I finish work.

When I came out of the shower, I saw Sasha sitting on the sofa in the living room, holding the high-end makeup set, and her mouth was so smiling that she couldn't close her mouth.

"Big bad, when did you buy it secretly? Say, what reward do you want tonight? Sasha put down the makeup box, walked over, hooked her arms around my neck, and kissed me.

I was going to take that box of cosmetics and spray it with grapefruit water to get rid of bad luck, but now that my girlfriends have started to give out benefits, where would I be stupid enough to spoil the scenery: "Then try the trick I saw on the computer last time." ”

Sasha gently pinched my waist and gave me a blank look: "You are necrotic, okay, I promise you, but you have to be lighter, I'm afraid of pain." ”

"I promise it'll be gentle."

Developing a new pose was very exciting, and when I was going through the clouds with Sasha, I would flash the appearance of the female corpse in my mind from time to time, and strangely, I didn't feel scared, but felt more excited, and Sasha's reaction was very intense.

After some clouds and rain, Sasha and I were tired and sleepy in bed, and at this time, Sasha suddenly said, "Ji Zang, I have to go back to my hometown tomorrow." ”

"What are you doing back home?"

"That dog man and woman are getting married, and tomorrow I'm going to dress up and smash the field." Sasha's words were filled with hatred.

I immediately understood that Sasha was talking about her ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend, that guy was a scumbag, and when she was with her, she cut off her best friend, and she cut off the relationship with the dog man and woman.

I can understand Sasha, betrayed by the people closest to her, if you don't want to take revenge, it's the Holy Mother's, and I certainly support it: "Why don't I go with you?" ”

"No, I know their parents, they don't dare to do anything to me, if you go, it won't be good for me to play."

After a night of nothing, Sasha got up early in the morning the next day, began to freshen up, and in order to make the makeup effect better, she also opened the box of high-end cosmetics and applied it on her face.

Sasha herself is good-looking, and she is even more beautiful after makeup, the only problem is her eyebrows, her eyebrows are relatively light, and she can't draw well by herself, and she is not satisfied with the painting several times.

After a few repetitions, she was a little anxious: "Ji Zang, come and help me paint my eyebrows." ”

"Don't, take your time on your own." I still remember the taboo that Master Li said.

"Aren't you a makeup artist? Hurry up and help me paint my eyebrows, if I can't smash my ex-boyfriend's field, I'll turn you into an ex-boyfriend in the future. "Sasha is really angry, I didn't dare to tell Sasha that I was an undertaker, I always told her that I was a makeup artist, and I put makeup on people in the photo studio.

In order not to become an ex-boyfriend, I had to take the eyebrow pencil and carefully draw Sasha's eyebrows.

Dressed up beautifully, Sasha went out to smash the field in a car, I rushed to the funeral home to work with some restlessness, today is surprisingly leisurely, there is no work, I just sit in the office and swipe my mobile phone, by the way to chat with Sasha.

After Sasha got on the bus, she sent me two selfies, saying that everything was safe, and then she said that she was a little sleepy, so she would sleep first, and wait until she would report her safety on WeChat.

Just then, the funeral home came to business again, so I put my phone in the drawer of my desk and went to put makeup on the corpse.

It was noon, and when I had lunch, I took out my mobile phone to see if Sasha had sent a message, but the first thing I saw was a push from the local Weibo: A bus in our city had a spontaneous combustion fire accident on the highway, and all the passengers of the vehicle were killed, and the cause of the accident is still under investigation.

I glanced at the news and froze in place, the license plate number of the car was exactly the same as the one sent by Sasha.

I frantically dialed Sasha's phone, but the microphone kept getting a shutdown prompt.

Putting down the phone in a dejected way, my mind was chaotic, and all I had to say over and over again was what Master Li said: Don't put on makeup for the living, the makeup of the mortuary is to send people on the road, and if you put on makeup for the living, the other party will definitely go on the road.