After the shock, I calmed my mind slightly.

To be honest, I still don't understand what Lin Ruolan said to me for, but I still subconsciously asked, "Don't you like Shen Jingyun?" ”

"Like, he's the only person I've ever seen who can move my heart and be my heart. He was good enough for me to look at him at the same level, and even sometimes even look up to him. Before I met him, I didn't think any man was worthy of a good review. Although, I don't like his occasional side. Lin Ruolan said very directly.

It felt so direct that she was opening up to me. But why should that?

And her evaluation of Shen Jingyun made me feel very uncomfortable in my heart, this discomfort was not aimed at Lin Ruolan, but Lin Ruolan's attitude. There is an excessive rationality in her evaluation, looking at Shen Jingyun and liking Shen Jingyun, there is a measure, as if saying, I like him, because he is a high-performance stock, and with a kind of pride, just like she likes Shen Jingyun because Shen Jingyun's excellence can match her, and even needs her to look up occasionally.

As if seeing the dissatisfaction in my heart, Lin Ruolan said softly: "Don't blame me for being too rational about feelings, because my personal feelings don't belong to me to some extent." Putting these factors aside, for example, if a woman like me wants to like a man to the death, then this man must at least have a place for me to look up to him and even worship him. ”

"In that case, isn't it good to be with Shen Jingyun? He can make you look up. "I shouldn't have said this, I don't know why I feel unfair for Shen Jingyun.

"Yes, but you ignore the other point I said, and the other side of him that he occasionally reveals that I don't like. He's too egotistical, a little emotionally naïve, and you can see his childish side. That's where my conflict with him comes in, and I don't really want to talk about it. And at that time, I was thinking, maybe what I need is a man who is not so talented, but knows how to behave in the world, and even has all kinds of exquisiteness. Because I feel that I am enough in terms of talent, then I naturally need a man who is emotionally intelligent. Lin Ruolan seriously analyzed her heart to me.

"You seem to be looking for help. However, I feel that you are sacrificing, completely sacrificing you personally for the Lin family. "I'm fair enough to say that.

Lin Ruolan was silent, and it took a long time for her to say: "Perhaps, my honor and pride have long been inseparable from the Lin family, and my purpose in life is also one with the Lin family when I was a child." Everyone thinks differently, and life is different, and my life is the Lin family. I came out to talk to you, just to tell you that you really don't have to worry about me for Shen Jingyun. And I hope you will always remember a sentence, I am not selfish about my own affairs at all, if I am selfish and ruthless, it is only related to the Lin family. Everything I do is for the Lin family, and so is my efforts. ”

"Is it worth it?" I felt a complicated taste, causing me to suddenly feel that Lin Ruolan had a feeling of pity. But I am not qualified to pity Lin Ruolan, just like I can't say whether other people's life goals are correct, I can only say that this is not the life I agree with.

But what about myself? Maybe I'm also being manipulated by hatred? I just didn't know it at the time.

"Of course it's worth it! In today's ancient cultivation world, ascension has become a legend, and I want to be a hope for the Lin family to lead the Lin family to a higher peak and make the impossible possible. I need every bit of help, and I need you. Xiaoshuang, you are very talented, very good! Lin Ruolan's voice gradually deepened, and when she said this, she looked a little excited, but soon became calm again.

I had a feeling that I didn't know what she was thinking, but when I heard her talk about the Lin family like this, the complicated feeling in my heart came up again. There is a kind of Lin family's hatred for me, but it can't erase my connection with the Lin family. It was a sudden state of mind that I didn't dare to face myself, that is, I also had ambitions.

I also have ambitions, and I also want to return to the Lin family with enough strength to get back the justice I deserve, and I also want to be able to stand in a certain position and do what I should have done.

But what was I supposed to do? According to my talent when I was born, shouldn't I be the heir to the Lin family? And this ambition seems to be something I was born with. After all, my talent at that time determined that if I grew up successfully, I should be the head of the Lin family with ambition, and the people around me, including my grandfather, were also encouraging all this to happen, and they were all ecstatic about my talent.

And I'm not averse to this kind of thing, maybe in that story, the only ones who calmly wanted to escape from it were my parents. And I'm not sure, can't be sure, my parents' anger, is there some reason why my talent was inexplicably taken away?

My heart was confused, Lin Ruolan's words provoked an emotion and thought that I had never had before, and I didn't even dare to face myself in a panic.

After a long silence, I finally said, "Lin family, I always have to go back." But now that you know the grievances, you know that I can't promise you anything right now. As for Shen Jingyun, you and him have become the past, and so am I, you don't have to list him as one of the reasons. ”

Lin Rulan looked at me, her eyes seemed to be penetrating to me.

After a long, long time, she turned her head, looked at the flowers in the garden and said lightly: "In the future, who can know?" Even if a cultivator knows some divination and has a keen premonition of various things, it is impossible to know what will happen in the future. And between you and me, there may be great intersections in the future, all kinds of grievances, and passers-by...... But, Xiaoshuang, all I said to you today was sincere. No matter what happens in the future, you have to remember that everything in my heart is for the Lin family, and I don't have selfishness about myself. ”

"None of what you said today I don't think are true." I also looked at Lin Ruolan seriously and whispered, and then, I looked at her calmly and said, "Have a good trip." ”

But at that moment, my heart was not calm, because Lin Ruolan provoked a strange self in my heart, and I still need time to sort out my heart.

"Okay." Lin Ruolan looked at me and nodded.

The conversation ended here, and I was busy cultivating, so I said goodbye and planned to leave.

It's just that before I stepped out of the garden, Lin Ruolan suddenly stopped me, I turned around, and saw her very serious expression, she asked me: "Xiaoshuang, why can't you and me get along like real blood sisters?" No matter how bad it is, it's like the kind of cordiality between you and Wei Mushroom, I want to know, if Shen Jingyun removes this reason, can't it? ”

In fact, Lin Ruolan is an understanding person, she strives to maintain a false impression of superficial courtesy, in fact, she knows better than anyone else the mustard between me and her.

But I didn't answer, how dare I agree to such a thing? Because the moment she asked me, I understood that my mustard and her mustard didn't just originate from Shen Jingyun at all, but what was it for? I'm still not sure.

After talking to me, Lin Ruolan quickly said goodbye to Zuo Qiu and left.

For the first time in my cultivation, I was in a state of restlessness, which made my grandfather, who had been guarding my cultivation, very dissatisfied.

"Grandpa, I suddenly feel that I not only want to go back to the Lin family to find out the truth of the matter, but I also want to get back everything that belongs to me." Looking at my grandfather's dissatisfied eyes, this sentence that had been suppressed in my heart for a long time suddenly blurted out.

"Everything that belongs to you, what do you think belongs to you?" Grandpa's eyes suddenly became interested when he looked at me, and he didn't answer me anything, but asked me a question.

"I don't know the status I should have in the Lin family, the status and respect that my relatives should have in the Lin family, and some others." I lowered my head and whispered, my heart was still in turmoil, and I just subconsciously replied. I don't understand why the conversation with Lin Ruolan provoked such emotions in my heart? In the past, all I longed for was a warm, well-to-live life, even if I was not rich, and when was this seed planted in my heart?

"It's all wrong, that's not what you should have." Grandpa immediately denied my words, and his eyes became serious.

I looked at my grandfather, and my heart was even more confused, and I was desperate for an answer.

"You were born to be the most legitimate successor of the Lin family, a family head who really has power, even above the Elders' Church. Because, in the long history of the Lin family, you are the first heir to have the same eyes as your ancestors. What is all you have to have? It is you who can shoulder the Lin family and lead the Lin family to a higher status, with more honors, and even ...... Or even a lot. Grandpa's eyes became fierce.

And his words hit my heart at once, isn't this what Lin Ruolan wants to do?

"But do you really want it? I don't know what my son, your father, thinks, but at least understand that your mom doesn't want that. And you, I used to think you didn't want that...... I don't want to persecute you, and I don't even want you to carry hatred, it's just that I'm old and no longer capable. But if you tell me today that you really don't want to bear all this, even if I will be in pain, I will definitely agree to you softly. Grandpa looked at me and said word by word.

"Grandpa." I called my grandfather softly, and the ambition that had just been ignited in my heart suddenly disappeared, and I became soft and distressed.

Why am I like this? I was really confused, and how could I understand at the time that it was clearly hatred that planted a seed called ambition in my heart. However, life can't make you see so clearly, how can you know your own transformation without going through it?

"But today, you told me that not only do you hate, but you want to get it back. If you think about it, is it true? You won't regret it? Grandpa's voice became quick, and there was an expectation in his eyes.

And looking at that glimmer of expectation, my heart suddenly became hard. I understand my grandfather, I understand too well that he cares about the Lin family, and his glory and pride are also connected to the Lin family, but out of his love for me, he never mentions anything.

With an inexplicable distress lingering in my heart, and a yearning that I have never felt before, I resolutely said: "No!" ”