When I received the seal of the emperor from Xiao Yue Mutuo, I had been meditating at Hanshan Temple for a full hundred days. The seal was taken back by the abbot and transferred to me by the hand of Xin Yi. In the brocade box where the seal is placed, there are only four words of Xiao Yuemu's personal book: cherish, peace.

I understood what Xiao Yuemu meant, she wanted to leave me a thought, and by the way, she sent me a life talisman that could protect me at a critical moment.

Even though I don't have the opportunity to use it, I'm still grateful.

The next day, I went to look for the abbot, and I wondered who had sent the seal of the emperor. The abbot said that it was Ji Die, who was next to the emperor. I was disappointed, but I heard the abbot sigh and say, Amitabha.

Brushing back my sideburns, I headed for the backyard. A few days before I took off the original heavy ornaments on my head, my whole body was fluttering. What I thought about the most in those days was that the mother concubine had stroked the pearl tassel peacock in her hair, and said in a daze that this lightest hairpin gave her the heaviest restraints.

I rarely think of my mother now. I rarely think of my father, my brother, and Xiao Yuemu. But since I've thought about it today, it shouldn't matter if I think about it more.

Speaking of which, my birthday will be in a few months. I wonder if there will be a snow as heavy as the year I was born in the winter moon this year. My mother said, "The day I was born was extremely cold and cold, and it should be the coldest day of the year." My mother wanted to name me according to the snowy scene, but my father hugged me and said with a smile that although the emperor was born in the harsh winter, this life must be like spring flowers, prosperous and beautiful in life. The wish of the flowers was made in the cold snow.

Later, I gradually became sensible, and often heard my father call my mother's concubine's name when no one was around, Miaoxiang. The mother concubine's cheeks were red, as bright as a peach blossom in March.

When I was more sensible, I only saw the indifferent faces of my father and the emperor, and called my mother, Concubine Shu. The mother concubine is also decent, refusing to go beyond half a step, and responds politely, Your Majesty.

The pearl tassel peacock swaying is a rare birthday gift for my mother's hairpin in my impression. I looked at my mother's rare shy flower face, but when I raised my eyes, I saw a haze of nothingness in my father's dull eyes.

The mother wore the pearl tassel and the peacock shook every day, until one day the palace maid in the Snow Calyx Palace accidentally broke it and punctured her finger when she knelt to pick it up. The bright red blood is very stinging, just like the vermilion tassels on the palace tent in the Changle Palace where the queen lives for her mother. The palace maid was punished by the concubine and sent to the palace prison and ordered to do some rough work of sprinkling and sweeping the corridor. And the pearl tassel peacock has not yet been mended, and the direct palace supervisor will come to talk back. The palace maid accidentally punctured her hand when she sprinkled and swept the court, obviously it was only a very small wound, but the blood could not be stopped, so she could only cry for help in a weak and panicked manner, while watching her own life as a surging blood, dyed red and warmed the cold corridor paved with jade in the court.

When I heard the news, I flinched in fear. But my mother didn't hug me as she usually did. She was just stunned, as if she had been suddenly hit in the heart by a heavy object, and she was unconscious, and she could cry.

The concubine suppressed the news of the palace maid's violent death, and also locked the repaired pearl tassel peacock step into the box and put it away, as if to make it never see the light of day. but the father and the emperor tacitly did not mention this exquisite birthday gift.

Until Xiao Yuemu arrived.

In fact, it should be said that it is more appropriate to appear. But I always stubbornly say that it is coming. I don't think that the changes in my life are caused by her, but I firmly believe that her existence is indeed fate, not accident.

Many, many things happened after that, so much so that my memory is a little blurry. I only remember in a trance that there was a time when I really hated Xiao Yuemu. I hate people taking away the attention, concerns, and ...... that are rightfully mine. Husband.

Although at the beginning, I had no feelings for Zong Zhengxu.

The first time I saw him, he killed his father's hound; The last time I saw him, he killed my royal brother. At first sight, at last sight, he was killing. How could I, as my mother requested, just because I saw the state of Pan Ye clearly in the morning, just because I wanted to save my life, just because I might be able to become the most noble queen of Pan Ye in the future, I had a deep affection for him and continued to die with him?

How could I?

Looking back now, I just feel ridiculous. At that time, how did I swear and speak out, and then how I refuted myself and indulged in deep depression.

Fortunately or unfortunately, my mother did not hear my confession. Until the immortal died, she still wanted to fight for the rest of my life, and with the softest and most beautiful eyes in the world, she told me silently:

Be pleased with him and live.

The most superficial hatred I had for my father was because he ordered someone to take me away, so that I completely lost the opportunity to say the last words of my mother's affection.

After returning to the palace, I thought about the scene at that time, and the word "Miaoxiang" muttered in disbelief was not heard by the concubine after all.

The hatred goes deeper.

At the end, it was me who suddenly realized the strangeness of the pearl tassel peacock step. Once the poison hidden in the pearl and jade enters the body, it is injured again and sees blood, which is a lack of skills to return to the sky, and there is nothing to be done.

The father and the queen mother, both of them are in a game. The father and the emperor were gambling on the love between him and his mother, and he had a lot of luck and thoughts, betting that the mother would not fall and stab herself. The mother concubine was gambling that her father did not have such a vicious temptation, praying for the possibility of what happened, but the father did not know about it, praying for the possibility of what happened, and did not hesitate to test the law, hoping that she guessed wrong, and the death of the palace maid was just a coincidence.

Although there is no coincidence that there is no book, but in the world, how can there be so many dramas and bizarre. Even if the queen did not secretly step on the corner of the mother's skirt when the feather arrow was shot at the father and emperor that day, I believe that the mother concubine would stand in front of the father without hesitation. What's more, no matter how you pamper yourself, who can guarantee that you won't hurt in this long life?

The father's face was stagnant when he saw the decorated pearl tassel peacock after he shook it, and the father's face was like ashes when he saw his mother's face after being hit by an arrow...... This well-known ending is a tragedy that has long been doomed to both sides. And both the father and the queen mother lost this gamble from the very beginning. The mother passed away beautifully, and the father struggled for this life.

But that's a matter for me. In the few days that the mother concubine was gone, I only cared about hatred. This poisonous plan was set up by his father and laid out with his own hands, how could he pretend to be as deep as the sea, pretend to be like a knife, and reluctantly read the name of his mother and concubine, lingering in the Snow Calyx Palace step by step?

What qualifications does he have?

At that time, I didn't want to put up with anyone who came to the Snow Calyx Palace. Silly, and secretly sighed, he left the Snow Calyx Palace and moved into the most remote and quiet Bird Palace in the palace.

After this change, I asked myself if I wanted much for the rest of my life. What do the nations of the world have to do with me? Who is the emperor, what does it have to do with me? Who is the queen and who enjoys the glory, what does it have to do with me?

Probably, the emotion called liking has not been pure since the beginning. In the end, there is no such thing as a difficult entanglement.

I thought so.

Later, Zong Zhengxu ordered someone to imitate my face and draw a skin bag for Xiao Yuemu. I didn't resist, I didn't struggle, I didn't even feel angry. Later, I told Xiao Yuemu how painful I was, but not long before she came to see me, Caiyi lit the veil in the palace in order to lead her to the Que Zhai Palace, and outsiders said that I was sad and looking for death because of my mother, and it will not change in Xiao Yuemu's ears. She had come with apologies, and I wanted her to feel more guilty.

So, when I saw my appearance being sketched and reproduced, I just looked at the face of the palace maid at the end of the song and smiled mockingly.

Even if she is as smart as Xiao Yuemu, she will be betrayed one day. Even if he is as shrewd as Xiao Yuemu, one day, he will live in this world with the face of others.

And Zong Zhengxu can be so ruthless, does it mean that he is actually ruthless and does not love the world? If he really didn't know how to know the word love, I would feel better.

But I know no.

Xiao Yuemu is special. Her profile will draw his gaze. Her words would draw him to stop and listen. The full expression that brought a very smile to outsiders would add a youthful demeanor that did not belong to Zong Zhengxu when facing Xiao Yuemu. His first surprise, the first touch, the first heartbeat, the first want to have a heart to treat wholeheartedly...... It's all given to Xiao Yuemu, right?

Even if Xiao Yuemu is to him, he is to me. Zong Zhengxu is not Xiao Yue Mu Liang, and Meng Fanjin is not Zong Zhengxu's heart.

We all understand this, but we all stubbornly refuse to admit it. Zong Zhengxu is a little more self-deceptive than I am. Embroidered with the poem "There are flowers can be folded straight and must be folded, don't wait for no flowers and empty branches", he has always cherished closely. The silk silk embroidered with the pattern of the big red peony was cherished and placed in the box. When it is difficult to come to his senses, he will open it and gently caress the lines on it.

And the reason why I know this is because after Xiao Yuemu left the night as the Emperor of Yijing, I don't know if it was because of her previous request, Zong Zhengxu would come to the Que Zhai Palace to sit when he was free.

He would always stare at my face lonely and helplessly when he was silent, but his gaze clearly did not really fall on me. At this point, I can't help but ask, who is he looking at?

Are you looking at the former Xiao Yuemu, or the current Meng Lingzhou?

Are you looking at Lingyue in the past, or are you looking at Yijing at this moment?

In any case, it was not me in his eyes.

And this answer, after listening to the whimsical question of the Third Emperor Brother reprimanding me, I already knew it.

"-Jinse!"

Calling like this, Xin Yi lifted the hem of his skirt from a distance and ran happily with a smile. I also smiled and patted the dust on my clothes, and she approached and held hands, and slowly returned to the small courtyard where we lived.

Jin Se gratuitously fifty strings, one string and one pillar Si Hua Nian.

This situation can be recalled, but it was already clear at the time.

The flowers are gone, and the brocade is gone. In this earthly world, there is only the benefactor Jinse.

It's just that in my heart, I have some delusions after all.

Looking forward to one day, the girl who had been destined to have an ordinary appearance stood in front of me with a clear breeze and a warm and pleasant body.

I hope that one day, the "Brother Xu", who was already the honor of the Ninety-Five, once belonged to me alone, came to Hanshan Temple for business and private reasons. I may not know him or him, and I passed by. Maybe be calm and smile at each other. Maybe take this opportunity to sit opposite each other, let go of yourself, and talk about those past events and old people.

It's just that......

That should be a long time later.