My name is Su Chen, and this name should have been given to me by my parents.

The word 'should' is used because I hadn't seen even a single glance at any of them, not even a photo, and I had been adopted from the orphanage by the head of the group, when I first had my memories.

The head of the regiment explained to me my name, Su Chen, Su Chen, my parents must have hoped that I could be as sunny and energetic as the early morning - for this I have always found it so interesting, how can a pair of parents who abandoned their children have such extravagant expectations?

My childhood, which may have been more interesting than that of other peers, was forced to train in the circus day after day because of the captain, and it was very cruel and harsh, such as throwing knives away or walking a high-rope without any protective gear, and when I said this, I suddenly felt that I could really live because of the hardships of life.

According to the words of the regimental commander, when I became an adult, I could take over the position of the clown in the regiment, he was a little old, so old that even if he was wearing a thick costume, the wrinkles on his face could still be faintly seen by attentive viewers.

However, my master did not seem to be hostile to me, the apprentice who was going to steal his job in the future, on the contrary, in a way, the master may have been more friendly to me than the head of the regiment who only adopted me—even if it was like insisting that I do other training when I broke my thigh when I made a training mistake, considering his personality, this behavior seems to me to be a very kind act, at least he did not directly break my other leg.

The clown, no, it should be said that the whole circus is almost a relic of the times, although as the best group in this field, the circus is still rich, but even I can feel that the circus is weakening day by day, whether it is the less and less performances, or the deepening wrinkles of the troupe leader, all speak of this fact.

Then I, who is destined to play an important role in the group in the future, seems to be destined to be unlucky.

Although life is very dangerous and interpersonal relationships are quite poor, I should be a very optimistic person in general, maybe it is the effect of this name, and it is precisely because of this that I resisted the idea of changing this funny name several times, after all, I am a clown, I have to find something that can support my professional character, even if that thing is faint and incredible, it is always a little faith.

There are three guys in the group who have a good relationship with me, and if you count the master, it should be four, but I was afraid that he would kill me directly after knowing my thoughts, so I never told anyone about this kind of thing.

The first one, the captain's parakeet, is one of the few who likes to talk to me, and although it is boring, I think it really likes me, otherwise, when I try to pluck out all its feathers, it will not be as simple as pecking me, and the parrot is an interesting fellow, and a lucky fellow, because I have heard that it is thirteen years old, and in terms of its race, it is already a dying old man. The reason why it is said to be lucky is precisely because of its age, because I have heard other people in the group say that before Little Ash, the head of the group had raised three or four parrots, and they all ended up with the same ending, giving their lives for an important performance when they were in the prime of life. So you see, Ash is really lucky to have lived so long.

The regimental commander doesn't seem to like older things.

My second friend, called Sinna, was a doll given to me by the master when I was thirteen years old, with big eyes, fancy makeup, messy hair, and exaggerated expressions - just like me during a mock show, the master wanted me to use it as a prop for my daily performances, but I didn't want that, Sinna was very similar to me, and it should be my friend, so I cut it into two pieces and threw away its lower body, so that it would not be able to play during the show. Of course, the price of this kind of behavior to protect my friend was that I was beaten by my master and couldn't get out of bed for a month.

My third friend, well, she's a person, to be specific, a very beautiful little girl, she's the daughter of the aunt who is in charge of cleaning up in the group. Once, when I was training alone, she came out of nowhere and watched my training without saying a word, and although my hands were cut by throwing knives that time, the two of us became friends. Qingqing, she asked me to call her that, she is one of the few peers in the group, and the only girl among them, but Qingqing doesn't seem to like other silly boys who keep showing favor to her on weekdays, but has a soft spot for me, a weird guy, as for the reason, I also asked Qingqing, but every time she laughed and didn't say anything.

One of the most important transitions in my life came when I was 18 years old. Although my popularity in the troupe doesn't seem to be very good, it doesn't affect my identity as the 'future clown of the circus', and the status of the clown in the circus is still very high.

On that day, after everyone in the circus had expressed some false feelings to the head of the circus, I was finally freed from the work of laughing, and then I was mysteriously pulled into a small room by my master.

The master told me that from tomorrow onwards, I would be able to perform on stage for the circus.

The condition is that I will kill Qingqing immediately.

Yes, kill.

She's one of the few friends I have, so she should do her best to fulfill my life, right?

So I plunged Qingqing's heart with the little dagger I usually train, right where I usually train, just when she thought I was going to show her my newly learned skills again. I don't know what Qingqing's expression was at that time, but I think she should be very happy, although I didn't explain the reason to her, and I didn't even say hello in advance, but she should be able to understand me.

After all, she's my friend.

After that, I naturally took over the position of master, and the younger me, I had a better performance on the stage than him, which also shows that the head of the regiment made this decision quite correctly.

But after I killed Qingqing, I didn't see my master again, and I heard others say that the master should have turned himself in my place—this is the explanation I came up with much later by torturing many members of the regiment.

The days after becoming an official clown became boring, and I spent most of each day training and chatting with Sinna, and as for Ash, like the master, disappeared after I became an official clown, as if I had never been in the circus.

Of my three friends, there is only one left.

As the days passed, I began to miss my friends, so I set my sights on the magicians in the group.

Jack the Magician is a young man in his twenties, and like me, he took over the position of the previous magician as an adult, and then put on an even more wonderful performance.

Jack has mastered a lot of magic, some of which no one has ever performed before. Jack always stepped onto the stage after I had stepped back from pretending to be crazy and stupid, sometimes forgetting to hide the mocking look in his eyes.

I've always been fascinated by one of Jack's magic tricks, which is to transform people, he can always conjure someone out of thin air on stage, and sometimes I think, if I can learn this magic, then I should be able to conjure it up, right?

So one day, while he was defenseless, I secretly tied him to a place that only I knew, and I smashed his teeth, knees, and elbows, leaving enough food and water, and then I was afraid that he would be thrown into a suburban warehouse that would not be visited by many people for a month.

When I saw him again three days later, he no longer had the same spirit as before, and the look in his eyes when he faced me changed from disdain to horror, and I was very satisfied.

Since then, I have been learning magic from him every day, and he naturally did not dare to resist me in the slightest.

It is worth mentioning that my operation was very successful, and the circus only suspected that Jack left alone, and no one suspected me.

When I finally learned the magic trick I had been dreaming of for a long time, and Jack was finally able to end his life, because when he taught me this last magic trick, I was disappointed to find that I couldn't seem to change a person who had been dead for many years back on the stage, so I didn't want to keep Jack anymore.

The days that followed seemed to have become even more boring, my life, my performances, and my friends.

I can't remember what day it was, but I learned by chance that there was a very good psychiatrist in the city where the circus was temporarily staying, and God knows what I thought, and I went straight to him after a certain performance.

The two of us didn't talk long before the quack decided that I was depressed, and he seemed to be very sympathetic to a patient like me, and he suggested something similar to a cure for me—he suggested that I go see the new circus in the city.

"That circus clown is very funny, jumping up and down like a madman, hehe..."

These were his exact words, and I have to say that his suggestion was quite useful, at least at the time I laughed.

After that ridiculous visit, I never believed what the doctor said, and I seemed to be becoming more and more reticent.

I started to like killing, and at first it was only for some animals, and the 'actors' in the circus who accompanied the show disappeared a lot for a while, and their furs were all left in my private collection. As time went on, I began to be reluctant to just attack the weak animals, and I turned my attention to the members of the circus, who were the most precious performance materials.

There was panic in the group, because my actions were really quite secretive, and no one could match the skills I had gained over the years, so I was like a demon, and I was reckless in the circus and remained at large until...

Forget it, I don't really want to talk about that kind of unhappiness now.

Right now, I'm more concerned about what to do with this guy who was beaten unconscious by me? Do you want to kill him directly?