Zheng Ziheng didn't know why he had nowhere to go.

The family is panicked, and the unit is also panicked, how can such an excellent young talent still be single? So the township is eighteen miles away, Zheng Ziheng has read all the spring in the world in a year, but he can't pick a suitable one. In the end, he saw a thousand love letters written to him by his fellow countryman Guo Ciyun, who had been chasing him since he was in high school, and married her.

After a few years, Zheng Ziheng took his wife and children into the city, and Zhao Mingjiang suddenly lost contact, soon after, he was sent to other counties alone, and soon after, he took his wife Guo Ciyun and son Zheng Kai to other counties, and Zhao Mingjiang completely cut off contact, until I heard that Zhao Ming would be down, debt-ridden, eight or nine years of separation, and met again.

"How come you guys haven't been in touch for so many years?" Lin Wenxi asked with red eyes.

"I don't know." Zheng Ziheng replied a little sadly, and drank all a glass of white wine.

"When did you enter the city? How old was Brother Kai at that time? Lin Wenxi suddenly asked a seemingly unrelated question.

"I don't remember much, but I guess I was six or seven years old." Zheng Ziheng seemed to be still immersed in memories, and did not answer Lin Wenxi in detail.

Lin Wenxi wanted to continue to ask, but suddenly felt that there was no longer any meaning, he thought of something, blushed a little, and asked, "That... Then if you like Uncle Zhao, how can you... gave birth to Kaige. ”

Zheng Ziheng was a little surprised, he nodded and said with a smile: "In this era, the younger generations are really open." He also said, "At that time, the flesh was strong, and there were no thoughts of certain aspects at all, but only that aspect of the matter, and I couldn't help it." But, in fact, when I was doing things, in my head, I was thinking about A-Yuan's father, his laughter, his frowning... ”

Lin Wenxi tilted his head to hide his panic and asked, "What about now?" As he spoke, he turned his face away and looked out the window secretly.

Zheng Ziheng smiled and said nothing, Lin Wenxi was like a man on his back at the moment.

Lin Wenxi thought of Hongyan and his parents, and he suddenly began to be afraid, one day, and Zhao Yuan would be like this.

Now that he finally met the same person, and this person can transmit marriage experience and married life to him, Lin Wenxi is so curious.

But the person in front of him, the story just now, is the same as Gu Xi, the difference is that Zhao Ming may not know Zheng Ziheng's mind until he dies, and Zheng Ziheng may not confide in his beloved for the rest of his life.

It is unimaginable and unacceptable to love the past so simply, to carry everything without affecting the life of the lover, but to let this feeling be buried for a lifetime and brought to the loess.

And at least, Zheng Kai knows Gu Xi's feelings for him, at least because of this feeling, Zheng Kai will pity Gu Xi from time to time, and he will also understand Gu Xi. But because of this feeling, Zheng Kai hated Gu Xi and rejected him.

Luckier may be himself, Zhao Yuan has feelings for himself to some extent, although Lin Wenxi can't weigh the weight, but he knows, Zhao Yuan also knows that this has become an unbreakable bond between them, but it has also become an abyss that cannot be crossed by each other. Pushing one or the other, Lin Wenxi felt uncontrollable in his heart. The two emotions were entangled with each other in his heart, the more he argued, the more fierce the fight, Lin Wenxi couldn't express the discomfort, couldn't overcome the surprise, his face was white and red for a while, and he turned into a long sigh for a long time, accompanied by the liquor into his stomach, letting the liquor stir up the warmth in his blood to calm his chaotic mood.

And Gu Xi was already in tears.

Zheng Ziheng is like going back in time, beside himself decades ago, he can see through everything about Lin Wenxi. He persuaded Lin Wenxi to take down the second glass of wine in his hand and said, "If you don't love a woman, you should never marry her, that will ruin her." ”

"You have a child with her, and Brother Kai is so strong, shouldn't he be happy... Lin Wenxi asked in a low voice.

"Every moment with her, she always thinks of another person, and after a long time, she will be suspicious, and gradually, she knows that person is not a woman, but a man." Zheng Ziheng said: "You must not be a person like me and harm others and yourself. ”

"What if someone you like happens to like you? Wouldn't it be okay? Lin Wenxi asked.

"Will your mom and dad agree? What will your relatives and friends think of you? Zheng Ziheng said with some seriousness.

"So, what do you think of the incident itself? Is it a mental illness? Or is it in the blood? Gu Xi asked.

"I used to think for a long time that I liked a man because I wasn't strong enough. So since he was a child, he has been very strict with Akai, he has never lied any coquettish in front of me and his mother, he has learned to solve problems with his fists since he was a child, and I require him to behave like a pure man! I even sent him to the Green Field Military Academy at the age of thirteen, and let him live almost alone for six years, until now, I see that he is more sensible than all his peers, all masters, I am relieved, it seems that I have chosen the right path. Speaking of this, Zheng Ziheng couldn't help but feel a little proud.

Lin Wenxi only felt a wave of anger in his heart, all kinds of things that he had been strictly controlled by his father since he was a child were repeated in front of his eyes one by one, those former constraints and pains made him feel that he had been missing something since he was a child, and this lack could sometimes only be made up for when his memory stayed with Fang Fang.

But what kind of life did Zheng Kai live when he was a child? Zheng Kai's image seems to have turned into the six or seven-year-old child, who has been rushing in front of him to protect him and love him, behind him, maybe it is the whip that makes Zheng Kai scarred, but the person holding the whip is Zheng Ziheng, who thinks he is proud and doesn't want Zheng Kai to have a trace of the idea of liking the same sex.

Lin Wenxi thought again, no wonder Zheng Kai always thought that he was not a good man in the past, no wonder Zheng Kai was very difficult to accept the intimacy between boys and boys, presumably Zheng Ziheng had instilled all kinds of thoughts in him since he was a child.

Lin Wenxi clenched his fists tightly, and finally turned his anger into sadness, and he asked Zheng Ziheng in a choked voice: "Do you look down on yourself?" ”

"Not ever." Zheng Ziheng said.

"Then why should Zheng Kai look down on people like you?"

"I'm just afraid that this psychological problem will be contagious, and I'm afraid that he will be affected when he meets someone like me in the future." Zheng Ziheng explained in a hurry.

"Then you think I'm going to infect him, right?" Lin Wenxi asked.

"Are you such a person?" Zheng Ziheng asked.

"Zhao Yuan and I that day, you saw it." Lin Wenxi said.

"Maybe, I don't know, anyway, I don't think A-Yuan should be like this... Zheng Ziheng muttered a little.

"Brother Yuan, won't be like that?"

"Wenxi, A-Yuan should be like Lao Zhao, he won't like one... You won't like people like us, and besides, he is Lao Zhao's only son, how can you turn him into such a person? Zheng Ziheng said, suddenly realized that he was wrong, he was busy explaining, and he didn't know how to explain, so he simply drank another glass of wine.

Lin Wenxi's silence made Zheng Ziheng more and more cramped and uneasy.

"No, I didn't mean that, I wouldn't say that about you, I just think, Wenxi, this feeling is too painful, you know what, it's too uncomfortable, I take care of him, I'm very happy, but there is always no upper limit to human desires, and after being with him for so long, I have hoped more than once that he can hold my hand, and more than once I hope that he can even kiss me, but when I think of that, it is a blasphemy against him, I am not worthy... Unworthy... Zheng Ziheng was a little excited, and his face became more and more red due to the smell of wine.

"Is there anything wrong with this kind of love?" Lin Wenxi unconsciously, bean-sized tears rolled down and fell into his wine glass, he picked up the wine, and after drinking, he only felt endless bitterness.

"yes... Is there something wrong? Zheng Ziheng suddenly smiled, shook his head again, and sat down on the chair dejectedly: "Wenxi, you are the only son in the family, your father has been honest and honest all his life, and he has a good reputation, if your father knows you... What would he think? People don't live for themselves. ”

"If I can change it, I will definitely change it, this, can I choose?" Lin Wenxi asked rhetorically.

Zheng Ziheng shook his head painfully: "In the days before Ming Jiang left, he kept talking about you and worrying about you, and often, I repeatedly asked Ah Yuan to show him your photos on his mobile phone, so that he could feel at ease." ”

"I can feel it, I can feel how grateful he is to my dad, I can feel his expectations, but... Lin Wenxi couldn't help but burst into tears.

"So, in the future, you should not meddle in these things again. I also know about your attack, Akai protects you, protects that girl... Do ... Very good. Zheng Ziheng said.

"Thank you. Uncle was alive... I didn't take care of it, and in the future, I will do my best! Lin Wenxi said.

"No, he hopes, and I also hope that you don't get involved anymore, let A-Yuan, handle it alone, he can do it." You, too, keep some distance from A-Yuan, his identity is too dangerous for you. ”

"Thank you Uncle for the reminder, I know it."

Lin Wenxi turned around and left, he really couldn't bear to stay by this poor man's side anymore, maybe everyone had the mark of the times, but that man locked himself forever in the seventies, that youthful uncontrollable, but unclear feelings.

Before going out, Lin Wenxi turned around and asked Zheng Ziheng, his voice trembled violently because he didn't know whether it was cold or excited: "Uncle Zheng, has Brother Kai cried for more than 20 years?" Lin Wenxi asked, he raised his head to look at the sunlight in the mist, and suddenly felt that no matter how bright the sun was, it could not illuminate a certain ruin that existed forever in this world.

Gu Xi burst into tears, he suddenly understood why Zheng Kai, whom he met at the Green Field Military Academy, was so taciturn, so rejected, and disgusted with many things. And the initiator of all this is a person who should be the best to understand and understand his own suffering.

Inside, Zheng Ziheng lay on the table with his head buried in his head, muttering to himself: "I haven't cried... Maybe... Come on. ”