"If I could, I would like to forget about it." Liang Jing sighed, "This is indeed a strange experience - when I was with him in the past, I never felt that he was important - and sometimes I even found him annoying. When we were together, he seemed to treat me like a garbage can—dumping all kinds of unpleasantness in his life all day long. Maybe I was too good-natured and didn't stop him in time, until one day I also encountered trouble and yelled at him, and he realized that my patience was also limited. ”

Chen Ying took Liang Jing's hand and silently listened to her continue to speak.

"He later apologized to me. Actually, I kind of regretted that I shouldn't have had a head-on confrontation with him - it was the first time we had a fight since we got together. ”

"When did this happen?"

"Last semester, shortly after you arrived in Denmark, I received a long letter from you."

"Oh."

"I didn't tell you about it because I thought you had your own troubles in Europe. We will eventually learn to face it alone, whether it is society or life, and learn to deal with all problems independently, whether it is emotional or academic. ”

"Hmm."

"The rest of the run-in went a lot smoother, although there were occasional little frictions. He's very different from what you're used to seeing, he's always very talkative when it's just the two of us, from gossip among classmates to the international situation and history in the field of religion...... He's not as wooden as we seemed to be, and he has a unique perspective on a lot of things. ”

"I believe so."

"I only now realize that it was probably the best time of my college life - because he was by my side, I didn't have to stay up all night to make a report for a little bit of experimental results. Later, as long as he is by my side, I am very relieved - Ye Feng is the kind of boy who is reassuring and knows how to avoid unnecessary communication in order to maintain his feelings. Chen Ying, have you ever thought about anything like 'forever' with Qin Hong? ”

"I guess I've thought about it."

"I didn't think about it, but when he said there was a possibility of going to the UK, I started thinking about it."

"He told you in person that he was leaving?"

"Yes."

"Didn't you explain why?"

"That's right." Liang Jing said slowly, the expression on her face was as serious as when she flipped through a thick book, "Ye Feng's life experience is far more complicated than we guessed before - I think we misunderstood him before. ”

"He- what's wrong?"

"Maybe not many people at our age have experienced this kind of thing - especially as children, who have faced the fragmentation and reorganization of their families since childhood, and their originally peaceful lives have been shattered. This is not something that everyone can adapt to. ”

"His parents ......"

"There is nothing wrong with pursuing love in a free society, even for a person who already has a spouse – legally speaking, people always have the right to choose, no matter what the circumstances. I used to support this point of view, and I also thought that if you don't like it, you don't like it, and it's not interesting to be together reluctantly, it's better to get together early and leave early, maybe you can find true happiness. She looked back at Chen Ying, "After getting to know Ye Feng, I realized that I had underestimated the degree of harm that the pursuit of absolute freedom would bring to others. His father was a professor and he met a female student at work. You can also guess what happened later, he made a lot of trouble at home for a third party, and when he saw that Ye Feng's mother did not agree to the divorce, he simply ran away from home——"

"How long has his dad been tossing like this?"

"For almost three years, no matter how much his colleagues, friends, and relatives tried to persuade him, his father was determined not to go home."

"Ye Feng and his mother are so pitiful......" Chen Ying said sympathetically.

"It's always easier to tell a story than to experience it yourself. In short, Ye Feng's parents divorced later, and he was sentenced to his father. His father soon married a third party and gave birth to his sister, and he became a homeless child. ”

"No wonder he rarely goes back during the holidays."

"His mother has always had a hard time accepting the fact that she suffers from severe depression — a bit like Wu Yun in your dorm, crying uncontrollably, suffering from insomnia, and needing someone to keep her company at all times. So later, Ye Feng lived with his mother for a few years, and he spent his entire middle school running on both sides, and it was the same when he went to college. ”

"It's not easy for him to keep these things in his heart for so many years."

"So when we saw him off two days ago, I saw his father and his young wife feel awkward. Seeing that woman smile even casually would make me feel terrible—because I vaguely realized that all this happiness was built on top of the pain of another woman and Ye Feng. Ye Feng knew that his father was going to emigrate, and he also understood that we would be separated. But he didn't want to disappear suddenly, so he chose to tell me in advance and spend more than a month with me for the adaptation period, and I am grateful to him. Otherwise, maybe I won't be much better than Wu Yun, after all, that's the person who has the closest relationship with you from life. ”

"Wu Yun has been getting better lately. She no longer mentions He Si, and she can read books steadily. Chen Ying said.

"That's really good news." Liang Jing said with emotion, "Standing up from the pain of the past is the prerequisite for future happiness." ”

"Ye Feng left like this, won't you be reluctant?"

"It won't be false. Actually, I think of him a lot, especially when I'm in trouble. I think of the encouragement and care he used to have. We still keep in touch sometimes, and he'll send some pictures or write some emails or something. I'll reply when I'm free. ”

"That's good."

"It's okay. It's just that I'm worried about Ye Feng's mother, and I went to see my aunt once two days ago. She is still taking antidepressant medicine, because the medicine contains hormones, and her figure is very out of shape. However, she was in a calm mood and invited me to dinner and thanked me for visiting her. ”

"If you have the chance, will you still be with Ye Feng?" After a while, Chen Ying asked.

"I don't know." Liang Jing touched Chen Ying's head, looked at her with a sad face, and said, "In getting along with Ye Feng, I gradually realized my insignificance - there are too many things that I can't control, and many situations are simply involuntary - it is a difficult thing for the two to be happy, coupled with the interference of various external factors, it has become more and more difficult to stay together." It's one thing to meet someone you like, it's another thing to be together, and my mom used to say 'marriage and love are two different things' – that's probably what she said. ”

"But in the end you have to marry someone you don't like, isn't that sad?"

"What can be done if it's sad? Life doesn't go its way. ”

Chen Ying closed her mouth and watched the platforms outside the window whizzing past one by one. The subway rushes out of the underground and travels from building to building, and the apartment buildings are shining softly like stars in the sky. Chen Ying remembered what Qin Hong had said, he wanted to be the brightest star for her and light up the entire night sky.

"I don't think Ye Feng can forget you." Chen Ying looked at his face reflected in the car window and said, "The person who still cares about a third of the earth must be someone who is very important to him." ”

"Maybe." Liang Jing replied lightly. Behind the thick spectacle lenses, a pair of slightly bloodshot eyes flashed with tiredness. "Probably he hasn't met someone over there who makes him so excited, and when he does, he'll forget about me all — like his dad."

"Don't say that, people are different."

"Who knows?" Liang Jing shook her head and said, "I have always disliked having too many unrealistic illusions about feelings, or keeping meaningless hopes. People should be realistic and face life's setbacks sensibly in many cases. Although he was forced to leave, I would not stand still and wait for him, I have my own life to live and dreams to achieve, and I can't always mourn this relationship. ”

"Will you really forget?"

"Unless you haven't been together, no one can erase the memories of the past - just like you and Qin Hong, even though they have been separated for a semester, they still remember the scenes and details when they met. Human memory is sometimes really annoying, and they refuse to let go of those fragments that need to be forgotten. ”

"Shared experiences are a source of goodwill."

"Since I can't control so much, I can only be at peace with what I encounter and realize my dreams in the world where I can. In this world, I am afraid that none of us can limit it except ourselves. Therefore, even if you meet someone in the future, say some vows, and confess the so-called 'forever' determination, it is only good to put it with a smile - because in the long river of time, we are all fleeting droplets, and they disappear without a trace in a flash after birth. ”