My name is Wei Laisheng, and I was born at 0:00 p.m. on August 13, 1991, on the 13th day of the seventh month of the lunar calendar, which happened to be Halloween.

According to Zhang Laoer, a blind fortune teller in the village, I was born in the yin, is an out-and-out pure yin life, born with a soft and introverted personality, and the future career will be smooth, but most of the marriages are difficult to achieve, and if you don't do well, you will be lonely and old.

Zhang Lao Er also said that pure yin life is easy to provoke unclean things, usually to walk less at night, less to the cemetery, less to those unfortunate places, it is best not to talk to strangers, if you hear someone shouting behind your back, don't agree, don't look back.

My grandmother asked me for a lot of things to protect myself from evil spirits, but since I was sensible, I thought everything he said was nonsense......

Facts have also proved that Zhang Laoer's set is nonsense.

I have been a well-known demon king in the village since I was a child, peeking at the new daughter-in-law of the old Wang's family next door taking a bath, catching ducks in the pond and roasting them, sneaking into the cemetery in the middle of the night to pretend to be a ghost and scary, and bullying the little girls in the village every now and then...... It gave the people of the village a headache when they saw me.

Later, when I took the college entrance examination, my mother nagged me for half a month with a score of more than 100 points; In order to avoid my mother's nagging mouth, I chose a junior college far away from home when I filled in the volunteers.

The days in junior college are even more chic, and I almost only do two things every day, the first is drinking, and the second is picking up girls.

My height of 1.85 meters is matched with a fairly clean face, and with my 'mixed skills', I have become a popular figure in our school within half a month.

Whenever I hugged my sister and remembered what Zhang Lao Er said, I felt a burst of disdain in my heart, fucking bullshit and died alone, Lao Tzu was worried about whether he would have kidney loss in the future.

I graduated from junior college at the age of 20 and went to serve as a soldier for two years after graduating without finding a job.

After coming out of the army, he could no longer contact his former fox friends.

Later, in order to live, I went to Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou and other places, and worked as a sanitary napkin salesman, KTV waiter, and watched the security guard of the venue...... Like a homeless person, wandering around, in short, there is no place to settle down, and there is no stable job.

Especially when I was in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, most of the days I ate the last meal but not the next meal, and occasionally eating a bowl of instant noodles with a ham sausage is a big meal.

Every time I hit a wall, I think of Zhang Lao Er, didn't he say that I have a pure yin life and a frank career? I'll fuck his ancestors for eighteen generations, and let him try it for Lao Tzu!!

Later, after more than three years of wandering, I finally returned to my hometown, the provincial capital of Guiyang, and set up a small stall on the overpass with mobile phone film, barely making ends meet.

If a person has been poor for a long time, he will gradually lose his desires, and he will be determined to pay attention to it.

I gradually developed this mentality, but this mentality was quickly broken by a job application.

At the beginning of October of the 16th year, a leader from above came to the city to inspect.

A group of our small vendors were chased by the chengguan everywhere, and seeing that we were going hungry again, we had no choice but to find a job to cope with it for a while, and then come back to set up stalls after the chengguan relaxed for a while.

Coincidentally, when I went home, I found a recruitment advertisement downstairs in the rented house, which roughly stated that he was recruiting a personal bodyguard, requiring a height of 180+, a college degree or above, a soldier, and a monthly salary of 8000.

I was intrigued, wasn't this tailor-made for me?

At the time, I had no idea that I would have a completely different life from now on.

On the day of the interview, I took the first shit luck in my life and stood out from more than 100 people to become the final winner.

But this is not what I am most proud of, what makes me most proud is that the person I want to protect is not a bald boss with a greasy face, nor a rich wife with a waist like a bucket, but a young, beautiful and single chairman named Yang Xiaoliu.

Yang Xiaoliu not only looks graceful like willow branches, with white skin and beautiful appearance, but also hundreds of millions of family properties, and is a veritable white rich beauty.

Even the Jade Emperor Lao Er in the sky would never have dreamed that Yang Xiaoliu proposed to let me be her boyfriend the day after I went to work.

What kind of pie in the sky is this? It's just a drop of gold!

In the face of such a seductive beauty, although I can't guess her thoughts, I don't hesitate to take her into my arms, and I must not be indecisive in the face of women.

On the third day, she offered to get her certificate. I hesitated for about three seconds, and then dragged her all the way to the Civil Affairs Bureau to become her legal husband.

I'm married...... and a beautiful and rich woman who has just known each other for three days.

I became a super rich person, driving a luxury car, living in a villa, wearing famous brands, eating delicacies from the mountains and seas, and taking a bath.

Such a luxurious day was something I couldn't even dream of before.

I swear by my appendix that I am definitely not interested in her money, but by an indescribable magic in her that fascinates me even for her.

Following Yang Xiaoliu's arrangement, I wanted to go back to my hometown to worship my ancestors, so I called the elders of the family to inform the clan, and on the sixth day, I drove her off-road Land Rover back to her hometown - a village more than 180 kilometers away from the provincial capital, called Dian Village.

My mother was the happiest, and it was no exaggeration to put the firecrackers in front of the house from the entrance of the village.

"Preserved eggs, you really give your parents face! not only made a lot of money, but also brought back such a beautiful daughter-in-law. "My second aunt used to be the most sour to me, but now she is the most attentive.

As for the name Preserved Egg, it was given to me by the people in the village, all because I was skinny and a jerk when I was a child.

"Brother, is this a Land Rover driven by a rich man? I want to try it too! My cousin followed my ass with a blank eye.

"Try you big-headed ghost, do you get your driver's license?" I slapped him on the head, this bastard used to be even more unkind to me, and he had to hide everything he had to eat.

"In the next life, where is your daughter-in-law from? When is it time to invite our big ones to a glass of wine? ”

"Yes, in the next life, the third aunt is still waiting to hug your big fat boy!"

"Preserved eggs, if you have anything to help, your second uncle doesn't have anything, he just has the strength to do it!"

……

Looking at these people who gritted their teeth when they saw me before are now smiling and hugging one by one, I can only sigh: rich, so good!

When passing by the door of Zhang Laoer's house, he happened to be sitting on the threshold. More than 20 years later, he has become an old man in his last years, his hair is all white, his skin is like old pine bark, his eye sockets are deep, and there is not a single tooth left in his half-open mouth.

In a revenge mentality, I walked over triumphantly: "Old man Zhang, didn't you say that my marriage is difficult to succeed, and I am afraid of being lonely and old?" Now shall I lend you my eyes to see how beautiful my wife is? ”

Yang Xiaoliu stepped forward to take my hand and said gently: "In the next life, don't be rude to the elderly!" ”

Zhang Lao Er's mouth had a harazi flowing out of the corner of his mouth, shaking his head and sighing: "Alas, God is not forgiving, it's a pity that a good girl!" ”

It's a pity to marry me? Isn't that embarrassing me in front of everyone? Hey, my little grumpy, "Stinky old man, you ......"

Yang Xiaoliu stopped in front of me and persuaded: "Forget it! ”

Looking at her gentle and touching appearance, even a man can't resist her.

That night, after Yang Xiaoliu and I burned incense in the ancestral hall to worship our ancestors, we stayed with my mother until midnight.

During this time, I passed by the room, and my mother secretly gave me a thumbs up, exclaiming: "Vision! ”

My dad was even more exaggerated, took two sips of wine, and said to me with red eyes: "You bastard has finally done a beautiful thing!" ”

The next night, my family set up more than a dozen tables of meals to invite the whole village to come to the lively, the people in the village, who can drink, who can't drink, one by one rushed to toast to me, pulling feelings, most of them asked me to help arrange a job for his son or daughter in the provincial capital, a small number of people said that they wanted to start a business, begging me to invest...... It's all purposeful anyway.

After about ten o'clock, Yang Xiaoliu told me that she had something still in the car and wanted to pick it up.

I want to park at a maximum of fifty meters from my house and have a street lamp; In addition, those bastards pulled me to toast one by one, and I really couldn't get out, so I didn't accompany her.

Unexpectedly, this became a mistake that I could not forgive myself for the rest of my life.