When my feet stepped on the ground, I hugged a basin-like thing and vomited, and vomited in the dark, and vomited all the tea I had drunk three days ago, and when I finally got better, I wiped my mouth and stood up, hey, why did the person in front of me glare at me? Why does his head stink so much and so much vomit?

Before I could figure it out, I saw the big man with a head like a basin yelling at me: "Grandma is a bear, you pay Lao Tzu's hairstyle, Lao Tzu spent three taels of silver ......"

Finally drove the pot brother away, and then there was a wave of young girls, young women, little daughters-in-law, aunts and aunts, I don't know which dynasty's tradition, they threw things at us, there were handkerchiefs, vanilla, orchids, and apples, pears, persimmons, of course, there were rags, celery and cabbage, and the most outrageous was a fruit with a hedgehog, which just hit my head, according to the neighbors, this is to express the love for men, and the more you smash it, the more people you love, the more popular you are.

Finally broke out of the encirclement, I strongly asked Donglin to change his appearance, but he didn't want to, he was too ugly, so I took a melon without saying a word and wanted to smash it on him. Since you want to be beautiful, you must be able to withstand the melon, cucumber and cantaloupe smashing on you......

With two chicken nest heads, a little grass ash on the face, the ears are finally quiet, I am ready to go shopping with great interest, buy some rouge, gouache, oil, salt, sauce and vinegar or something, I heard that the barbecue in the world is very good, I still have to buy some cumin, and wait for a good meal, but Donglin said: "Little Lotus, I didn't go down to let you go on vacation, we still have business to do." ”

The business in Donglin's mouth turned out to be a love disaster, in the heavenly court, you have to say who is the best-looking, three people have seven answers, you have to say who can fight the most, five people have six answers, you have to say who is the most hypocritical, who is the most unscrupulous, who is the most cold-hearted and cold-hearted, who is the most uninterested in fairies and banshees, and there is only one answer for those hundred people.

And this is expected, it is said that the immortal who is still a virgin is the immortal on the cloud cliff, and he is not interested in female creatures, and of course he is not interested in male creatures, so the Buddhas in the West are trying to let him be classified as Buddhism, but he is not interested in Buddhism. Moreover, the immortals on this cloud cliff are very old-fashioned, for example, if you talk to your parents, he can say that your children are unteachable, and ask you to think about it behind closed doors for thirty years, if you are a little coquettish, seduce a married man or something, he can skin you and cramp you, and lay down the mortal dust, if it is not for others to stop you, it may make you immortal...... There are so many things like this, and even the heavenly officials who formulated the heavenly rules and precepts are far away from him, for fear that if they are not careful, they will be punished by him on the grounds that the heavenly rules and precepts are too lax.

Some time ago, the immortals on the cloud cliff went down to the mortal tribulation, which was a trivial matter, anyway, every time he returned from the tribulation to write a summary, there is only one sentence that can be summarized, that is, in my life, I have not married a wife, I have not given birth to children, I have not made friends, I have not been emotional, I have not participated in any legal and illegal party activities, and I have been doing one thing all my life, which is to wait for death. But this time is different, he was reincarnated as the prince of a country, there is no difference at the beginning, the prince is handsome, outstanding, quite capable of governing the country, but not close to women, and later proved that the prince is not close to men, and the prince who is not close to women and men can be described as a clear stream, so that the princes and ministers are miserable, and they don't even dare to accept a concubine, and the emperor is also very hard, as long as he has a room of concubines, his son's face can be ugly for many days.

However, just some time ago, the prince suddenly changed, and he paid a lot of attention to a certain woman, this woman was the concubine of his old son Xinna, who was said to be a lovely person who could dance in the palm of her hand, the first beauty in the world, and a city. In the face of the prince's attention, the beauty of Allure can be said to be reciprocating with peach, secretly sending autumn waves, today to have a fragrant kiss, tomorrow to have an off-the-shoulder outfit, the day after tomorrow dare to have a veneer dance, the day after tomorrow...... Well, you can imagine for yourself.

Hearing this, I don't think so, isn't it just the son who occupies Lao Tzu's concubine, or secretly, from ancient times to the present, there are those who rob their brothers' wives, some rob their daughters-in-law, and some rob their benefactor's concubines, everyone is blatant, and some have become a good story, for example, a certain concubine is drunk, and the immortals on the cloud cliff are nothing, is it worth Donglin's fanfare?

Donglin said: "Little Lotus, you don't understand, Yunya is good at everything, it's just a false seriousness, in terms of rules and precepts, not only ruthless to others, but even more ruthless to himself, if he knows that he has such a paragraph, for the sake of women, he even ignores the ethical guidelines, you let him do immortal in the future, and besides, this woman is very unusual, it may make him turn against the emperor, and then it will not only be a love calamity, but the world may be in chaos......"

Donglin later talked about the common people in the world, the people's livelihood, the border crisis, and the red face and troubles, I couldn't help but yawn and asked him: "Shangxian, where are we going to eat later, how about the Drunken Immortal Pavilion?" I heard that the roast duck there is good. ”

Donglin knocked me on the head with hatred of iron and steel, but his footsteps turned in a different direction and went to the Drunken Immortal Pavilion.

We are sitting in the drunken fairy pavilion, the diners around are noisy, talking about an elegant thing in the capital, the famous poet married the head of the Wangjing Building, married today, handsome men and women, are one in a million characters, really talented and beautiful, born a pair, it can be said that only envy the mandarin duck does not envy the fairy, the mandarin duck is good to sleep......

I asked Donglin while nibbling on the roast duck: "Shangxian, why do they say that they only envy mandarin ducks and not immortals, what is a mandarin duck?" ”

Donglin pointed to the pond in front of him and said, "That's the mandarin duck." ”

I got up and looked, it turned out to be a pair of water ducks, mortals are really, why envy two water ducks, do you think water ducks are particularly delicious? Well, sure enough, the people take food as the sky, and eating is the top priority in life.

When I sat back, I saw that Shangxian was still staring at the two water ducks, oh no, it was a mandarin duck, so I said casually: "Shangxian, it turns out that you also like mandarin ducks." ”

He turned his head, stared at me and asked, "Little Lotus, do you like mandarin ducks?" I glanced at the two ducks, they were very fat and tender, they could be barbecued, steamed, and made into soup, which were indeed good ingredients, so I nodded quickly.

Seeing me nodding, Donglin suddenly coughed, his face turned red invisibly, staring at the steamed elbow on the plate and asking me, "Little Lotus, what kind of mandarin bird do you like?" ”

I gestured with my hand, "Well, fat, fat, big." Donglin looked up at me in surprise, and I hurriedly explained to him: "There is a lot of fat meat, fragrant, and when you barbecue, it is full of oil, how delicious it is......" Donglin stared at me vigorously, I was embarrassed to see it, so I asked him back: "Shangxian, do you like fat or thin?" ”

He poked the steamed elbow on the plate fiercely, and replied angrily: "I hate this animal the most." ”

I hurriedly lowered my head and picked up the rice, why is Shangxian so abnormal today, I just said that I like mandarin ducks, and now I hate it, why? Why? I can't figure it out. Could it be that the male gods and immortals have become very fickle when they go down to earth?

After eating, I strolled around to eat, and in a blink of an eye I saw a fortune-telling stall, and I was very curious, so I hurriedly went over to take a look. The fortune teller originally closed his eyes, but when he saw me approaching, his eyes flashed brightly, and he hurriedly greeted me: "This little brother, look at your heavenly court, the earth is round, and your face is full of red light, something good must have happened recently......

I was so pleased with his compliment that I asked, "What's good?" ”

He suddenly smiled mysteriously at me, lowered his voice and said, "Little brother, what good do you want?" ”

I thought for a moment and said, "I want to become an immortal, but I don't want to cultivate, do you think this kind of good thing will happen?" ”

He gave me a thumbs up, "Little brother is so ambitious, this is an immortal, of course it is difficult, but I don't want to cultivate, so it's even more difficult, but, seeing that my little brother is destined for me, I will give my little brother a magic recipe, to tell you, this is a magic recipe that is difficult to buy for a thousand dollars, passed down from Guiguzi and his old man's family." ”

I tried to reach for it, but he withdrew his hand, then spread his other hand out and shook it at me. I understood that this was asking for money, so I scraped my whole body and made up enough three taels of silver, which Donglin gave me just now, but the fortune teller's hand was still shaking, so I scraped it again and ripped off the beads on my shoes. The fortune teller finally took his hand back, gave me the magic formula, and sighed and said: "Hey, I didn't sell it when the third prince gave me a thousand taels of gold yesterday, I just watched the little brother have a fate, a fate......

I happily took the magic formula to show off to Donglin, Donglin endured and endured, and finally couldn't help but say: "Little Lotus, you will be fooled by such a superficial deception, I only knew that you were stupid before, but I didn't know that you were so stupid!" ”

I shook my head and said, "Shangxian, you are wrong, I am not stupid, he is playing me, do you know that I am not playing him?" ”

Donglin was puzzled, "What are you playing with him, what are you playing with him?" ”

I said, "I only spent three taels of silver to listen to a cart of good words, and I also watched a juggling, so that he flattered for so long, well, it's still worth it." ”

Donglin endured and endured, and finally couldn't help but say: "Little Lotus, do you know that the three taels of silver are all our belongings, and now, you have given it all to him, in other words, if you still want to eat roast duck, you can only go into the water to fish it yourself, if you still want to live a house, you can only build it yourself, if you still want to listen to flattery, you can only tell others......"

I'm a little confused, I don't know the rules of the world very well, is silver really so hard to earn? Doesn't it mean that people are stupid and have a lot of money? Why did you become a fool and be bullied when you came to me?

I opened the recipe with a glimmer of hope, thinking that it should be of some use, or maybe it was really a secret recipe. So I opened the note with a reverent face, only to see a line written on it: "Stupid, I still want to become an immortal!" Well, for your stupid sake, telling you the shortcut to becoming an immortal is dreaming! Daydream! Hahaha......

I was deceived, and then I was despised by Donglin, and the saddest thing was that I was hungry and the silver was gone.