……

"Why do you want to look for it?"

It's like asking him why he wants to be obsessed with someone, and I regret it.

If one day, my husband is gone, can I calmly convince myself to give up?

"I don't care what yin and yang he is, what life and death, I just know, I want to see her again, otherwise I won't be able to sleep well for the rest of my life." Yang Xinfu said lukewarmly, as if it was just a trivial matter like eating and drinking.

Pushing others and myself, how can I be a cold sidestander, so, I nodded.

"So, let's talk about the man first." I asked him with a feeling of pity.

"She's a ...... Heh......"

Yang Xinfu's cold owl eyes gradually softened.

In his memory, there was a flower garden, and there was a girl in the courtyard who was more delicate than flowers.

The girl has a pair of skillful hands and specializes in brocade food.

When he was a teenager, he was idle, a cup of Buddha jumping over the wall, and a peach blossom brew, which amazed his prime.

The story of Yang Xinfu and his loved ones is precipitated in the aroma of food in a porridge and a meal.

He said that the girl's surname was Xu and her name was Manjuan.

When I met Manjuan, Yang Xinfu was still in high school, and Manjuan was an adult girl in her twenties.

After graduating from junior high school, Xu Manjuan had dropped out of school to work, just because the two families were not far away. Yang Xinfu knew that Manjuan had no parents when she was a child, and she was brought up by her grandmother, and later her grandmother was seriously ill, so she returned to the countryside from the city.

Manjuan is a small girl, but she can pick up all the farm work at home on one shoulder, Yang Xinfu has seen other girls' palms are soft and white and tender, but Manjuan's palms are full of calluses.

But fortunately, Manjuan is still a delicate girl in the end, except that she can't take care of her hands. After returning to her hometown, Manjuan quickly turned the family's small farm yard into an exquisite garden, which was planted with seasonal flowers, vegetables and fruits, and even a swing, with a set of tables and chairs used by the ancients when they meditated.

When it was time for the farm, Manjuan would put on her favorite clothes and read books in the courtyard, or play with flowers and plants.

Manjuan loves food, and her books are mostly about food from all over the world. She would gather the flowers and fruits of the four seasons, make good wine, bury it in the ground of the courtyard, and wait for the next year to entertain relatives and friends; She can also cook Dongpo meat written in the book, stew Buddha jumping over the wall, boil lotus leaf soup, and even bake flower cakes......

Her beauty is enhanced by the aroma of the various meals she delves into every day.

Between a porridge and a meal, Xu Manjuan turned the rural life that most people felt painful in their hearts into a poetic life.

When he was a teenager, Yang Xinfu fell in love with his neighbor's sister Xu Manjuan in her early twenties.

This love is like a spring breeze and rain, moisturizing things silently nourishing this young man who is about to grow into a man; This kind of liking came quietly, and it also shared Yang Xinfu's limbs.

So, he didn't know at all.

Anyway, that's what Yang Xinfu told me.

Later, Yang Xinfu went to school and did well in the exam, but the school was in the field, so he had to say goodbye to his hometown.

At this time, he was faintly aware of his thoughts.

With the unspeakable love for Xu Manjuan, mixed with fireworks in the world, because he was young and ashamed, he finally left without saying goodbye.

Like, miss, all kinds of emotions gradually ferment over time, bred into lingering love.

When he was escaping, he also tried to write a touching love letter with a beautiful handwriting to please other beautiful girls.

He learns from a wanderer who walks in the world, obviously not entrusting his feelings, but pretending to be affectionate.

The preciousness of love lies in the fact that it is so irresistible when it comes, so later Yang Xinfu began to compromise, he began to rein, he swore that in this life and this life, he must learn something, and get ahead in the future, so that he can maintain three points of confidence when he is open and honest, and at the same time, he can give the girl who is so beautiful in his heart everything he wants to give her.

But not long after, Yang Xinfu, who was far away, learned a piece of news from his family's chat.

Xu Manjuan is getting married!

The other party is a soldier who has returned from the army, and they are very satisfied with each other, and they may be very affectionate in the future.

At that time, Yang Xinfu realized that he understood too late and did not take action, everything he assumed was really just his own assumption, in fact, from beginning to end, Xu Manjuan's love and hate had nothing to do with Yang Xinfu.

Xu Manjuan is Yang Xinfu's heart, but Yang Xinfu is an outsider in Xu Manjuan's life, there is no reason to talk about all this, and there is no public unfairness.

Yang Xinfu felt that this was probably God's punishment for playing with people's hearts before.

On Manjuan's wedding night, Yang Xinfu rushed back, watching a couple of newlyweds snuggling up to each other from a distance, Yang Xinfu was drunk, and a love thought that had not had time to be said ended without a problem.

After graduating from graduate school, Yang Xinfu resigned from the invitation sent by his teacher from the institute, and finally returned to this small county town that he had lost his love.

In order to settle down quickly, he resigned himself to Watson, a small private middle school, as an ordinary teacher.

He didn't want to get ahead and return to his hometown as he thought at the beginning, but he didn't care anymore. Because this is what he originally wanted to give Xu Manjuan, just because she doesn't need it, so it's not so important, for Yang Xinfu, what is more important now is that even if the person who gave Xu Manjuan happiness is not him, he has to stand not far from her and watch her live this life happily, so that he can calmly rest on the bed when he is dying, and tell himself:

"In this life, although I missed her, she has everything I want to give her, even if this happiness is not given by me personally, so what does it matter."

But when he came back this time, Yang Xinfu was in school, and Yang Xinfu met Xu Manjuan's husband He Zhiyong, who was the school's doorman and lived in the school.

That person hadn't seen Yang Xinfu before, so he didn't recognize him, and although Yang Xinfu had only seen him quietly once from a distance, he remembered it deeply, even if this person turned into ashes, he would not forget it.

It was he who took Xu Manjuan away from his world openly.

Yang Xinfu's heart turned a thousand times.

But soon, Yang Xinfu discovered something that had almost made him collapse. He Zhiyong betrayed Manjuan?

His wife became a woman Yang Xinfu didn't know.

He Zhiyong introduced people openly and honestly that the woman was his wife.

At that time, Yang Xinfu's first reaction was to think that they were divorced, and he almost rushed to He Zhiyong's face, pointed at his nose and asked him where he put Xu Manjuan.

He felt that the man must have failed Manjuan, and he was in a very mixed mood at that time, with both the anger that his treasure had been let down, and the joy of a hopeful birth of the disgrace.

…… She is separated from that person, is that right, he can get close to her without hesitation and give her happiness with his own hands?

In the end, it was reason that dragged Yang Xinfu back from the brink of collapse, otherwise he would not be able to explain his collapse, he was afraid that others would accuse Xu Manjuan, saying that she did not know the inspection and hooked up, he was afraid that this would become a sharp blade for others to criticize Xu Manjuan.

He was so complete in his heart that he could not be harmed by anyone.

So Yang Xinfu began to inquire about Xu Manjuan's whereabouts in a very private state.

After this inquiry, many people told Yang Xinfu that Xu Manjuan was dead.

She died in the third month of her husband's marriage.

"How is this possible? Joke! ”

Yang Xinfu said affirmatively.

said that he was murdered, and the murderer was a seventeen-year-old boy named Chengcheng, Han Chengquan, and he was found on the spot after killing Manjuan at Manjuan's house with a kitchen knife.

After Han Chengcheng was arrested, he also committed suicide in prison.

Since then, Ho has become moody, and he often forgets that he once had a wife who cooked well.

Yang Xinfu couldn't think about it, the so-called, overgrown grass on the mountain was just a broken slope, how could his beloved girl lie there, so one night, he went to quietly dig the grave.

What was buried in the grave was an empty coffin......

The Buddha said that people have greed, hatred, hatred, love and evil desires, and in the end, these seven words are all attributed to the two words "love and hate".

Everyone will have at least one person who has loved and at least one person who has hated in this life.

The so-called life is in these loves and hates, a lifetime of ups and downs, entanglement.

If you can dig someone's grave for love, you really won't be crazy and won't survive.

Even though Yang Xinfu has something wrong with him, he also has his pitifulness, and it is destined to be pitiful to keep a love that has no hope from beginning to end.

At this point, he probably said everything he could explain, and it was pointless to ask any more.

It's just that Yang Xinfu said that the empty grave, if it is not artificial, then I am afraid there will be something else.

If it is really as he said, then I will be grateful to Yang Xinfu for informing him of this matter.

If you don't die, you are a demon.

Although I have always adhered to the principle of doing things sooner rather than later, in order to understand Xu Manjuan's past and whereabouts, I am bound to go to the courtyard where Xu Manjuan once stayed.

Yang Xinfu is a native of Shuangshan Town, Xu Manjuan's hometown is next door to Yang Xinfu's hometown, Shuangshan is about two hours' drive from the county seat, the distance is not close, plus Hua Huasheng belongs to a semi-closed school, even on weekends want to enter and exit the school is not a simple thing, the procedures required to enter and exit are also jaw-dropping.

Because I can't leave after the teacher approves the leave, I can only ask Yang Xinfu for the address and put the matter on hold for the time being.

"There's something I have to mention to you." Yang Xinfu suddenly gathered the soft look on his face, and said solemnly.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"During the day, you'd better not mention it to me, or even talk to me too much." Yang Xinfu said seriously and seriously.

"Why? Don't? "Do you have anything else...... Although the words are still unfinished, Yang Xinfu should know what I am going to say.

"I don't know why, but I always feel that I am a little different during the day than I am at night." Yang Xinfu said with a strange expression.

……

"I see."

There are too many disagreements in this person, but I'm afraid there are many things I don't know.

Put this matter aside for the time being, and say that in the past two days, I carefully observed Yang Xinfu's behavior during the day, and it was as he said. He didn't seem to know what he had agreed with me that night.

Here, it's fast Saturday.

Because Watson is a private middle school, except for special circumstances, Watson's students' cultural course foundation is generally worse than that of public school students, and the school has formulated a half-day course more than other schools in order to catch up with the admission rate, so we will hold classes until Saturday morning.

On Saturday afternoon, after the last class of the week, I went back to the dormitory to change my school uniform into a skirt that I wore every day, and then packed two sets of dirty school clothes that I had worn for a week in a tote bag, and rushed to the guard room to fill out the school departure registration.

But at this time, Uncle He's expression became slightly stranger than when they first met, and his eyes swept over the skirt on my body several times, completely disagreeing.

Uncle He seems to have some opinions about me wearing a skirt.

In fact, it's not just Uncle He, although I have been living in the mountains for the past few years, I have not been separated from society, so I naturally know that there is a particularly strange phenomenon at this time, basically all girls in our time period do not wear skirts, and even feel ashamed to wear skirts.

I don't know why, but I just prefer to wear skirts, and even in those days in the mountains, I still wore a Confucian skirt that matched my husband's long gown, and combed two small buds, which was my daily dress.

I didn't think it was a problem for me to wear a skirt, so I ignored it and walked out of school generously.

All the way to the old machine factory.

Before coming to school, my mother repeatedly explained that the bus to go home stopped there.

When I walked to the machinery factory, I happened to see the second car parked inside, there were already a lot of people sitting in it, I trotted into the car, just sat down, the car started.

Before the car left the city, I was thinking wildly, why didn't Ye Zhiqiu come to the school to pick me up, I remember Yiya and me before going down the mountain, Ye Zhiqiu, the three of us sat down to discuss the matter of picking me up on the weekend and going back to the mountain, because Yiya had a cold temper and was not suitable for appearing in front of people, so the final decision was to let Ye Zhiqiu pick me up.

It's just that I didn't expect that it was only the first week, and Ye Zhiwen missed the appointment.

On the way home, I passed by a sparsely populated wilderness, and when I looked out the car window, I saw trees on both sides of the road.

There seems to be a tree in it, with old branches and new leaves.

I looked out casually, and suddenly I saw a lone figure standing under the tree.

The figure is lonely but determined, looking at the horizon.

For a moment, there was silence all around me, a corner of my heart was shining with golden light, and my heart was beating, pushing a warm current into my limbs.

In the depths of the woods, the man standing is a gentleman..............................