19. The way you look disappears into the vast sea of people
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I never dreamed that more than a decade later, I would be reunited with her in such an unbearable way.
I became a crazy woman who wanted to hurt others, and she became a street girl who was a half-aged.
I walked over and stood across from her in a daze, and even her thick pink face could not hide the wrinkles of her face, her hair was black and greasy and curled into small rolls on her scalp, she still had a half-lit cigarette in her hand, she was wearing a bright miniskirt that was very inappropriate for her age, and she was lazily leaning against the wall, throwing ambiguous calls or bold body flirts at the occasional passing man.
My heart squeezed together, I couldn't tell if it was pain or what.
I just think it's ironic.
How I wanted to rush up and curse her loudly, why?
Why did you abandon me so ruthlessly at the beginning, but in the end you still have to be reduced to such a field?
Leaving me behind, shouldn't you enjoy your life and live a prosperous and prosperous life?
After that, I waited so much that I never came back to look for me. In that case, at least a better life, what is this now?
Why is it so sad?
Seeing me staring at her vigorously, she raised her eyes and swept me up and down, and then glanced down in disgust at the corners of her mouth, rolled her eyes, and said fiercely, "Look at what, stinky bitch!" I don't care about you! β
My heart trembled, and I almost stumbled down.
Scold!
yes, this face of mine now......
No! Even if I was my original face, she probably wouldn't recognize me.
After thinking about it, my breathing finally slowed down. Looking at it again, her eyes became more fierce, and she raised her hand as if she was going to hit me.
I just stood stunned, not dodging or dodging.
Her hand finally stopped in mid-air, then her eyes moved to the child I was holding in my arms, and she walked over.
The boy just looked at her and burst into tears.
Her expression that had wanted to tease the child suddenly became extremely embarrassing, and then she glared angrily, cut it hatefully, and continued to retreat and lean lazily against the wall.
I suddenly stretched out a glimmer of luxury in my heart.
Perhaps, even so, she would have recognized me?
As my little brother told me a long time ago, he said that his parents would recognize him no matter what.
With that in mind, I crouched down and placed the child on my lap, ready to roll up my sleeves to reveal the birthmark on my arm.
No matter how her face changed, she would definitely remember this mark!
But the sleeve was only halfway up, and her joking voice came from above her head again, "I said you stinky bitch, shouldn't you be asking for money for a stall here?" How troublesome, do you want me to show you the way, just get rid of it, get the money quickly, and save trouble. You're good-looking, too, and you're dead in the way of anything you want to do with a drag oil bottle. Deal with the child, I'll take you to mix, guaranteed to make a lot of money. β
My hands froze, even my heart.
After holding the child and slowly standing up, I yelled at her uncontrollably, "Since you think the child is a burden and a trouble, why did you bring her to this cold world in the first place?" Do you think you'll have a good life if you leave your child behind and run away with your wild man? Hahahaha! What the hell do you look like now? Well deserved! It's all retribution! A woman who doesn't even care about her own children doesn't deserve to be happy! Unworthy! β
After saying that, I tightened the child in my arms, turned around and walked away quickly.
After walking a few steps, I heard the sound of her pinching her throat and greeting a regular customer behind me, and my heart felt like it was being poked and torn into two pieces by a large blunt scissors.
Tears poured down their faces.
**
I cried all the way to the residence, and when the darling saw that I finally came back, and the child was there, she was so excited that she stomped her feet, and kept holding my hand and said, "Great, Sister Lin Chu, great." I knew it...... You won't be able to hurt this cute little guy. Sister Lin Chu, thank you for coming back, thank you! β
She held the child in one hand and held me tightly in the other, crying with joy.
I cried and smiled bitterly.
My silly girl, I can't come back.
After that, I slept in a daze for a few days, and when I was thirsty, I got up to drink water. Barely ate anything else. My darling called me a few times, and I waved my hand at her, then rolled over and went back to sleep. In the drowsiness, I vaguely heard the cry of a child.
Half-asleep, I heard a child calling me.
I have been calling it all the time.
I followed the sound and walked over, it was a little girl, she cried and begged to take my hand and beg me not to go.
I looked at her blankly and was stunned for a long time before I remembered that this child was me.
I wanted to bend down to hug her, but a nameless force behind me pulled me out. I was like a walking corpse with only consciousness and no control over my body, and the harder I tried, the farther away I got from her.
In the end, I could only watch as the child cried helplessly and hid in a dark corner.
It was as if life was frozen in that moment and never grew again.
Then, in the chaos of time and space, I returned to where I lived. When I wanted to get up, I found that I couldn't move.
But the eyes can see in all directions.
Suddenly, I seemed to be able to see through the door panel, there was a person with fangs and long, red and pointed nails outside the door, and he kept scratching the door with his hands, shouting in horror, "I want to go in, I want to go in!" β
I subconsciously wanted to escape, but my whole body seemed to be stuck with strong adhesive.
Seeing that the door was about to be breached, the guy opened his bloody mouth at meβ
I screamed and struggled to sit up.
The first thing that catches your eye is the darling's worried and haggard face.
"Sister, you're finally awake, if you don't wake up, I'm going to call 120. You kept crying and shouting, and you couldn't hear what you were calling, and your head was sweating all the time. β
I let out a few heavy breaths, and then I threw my fist into a fist against my chest.
After a while, he slowly spit out a few words, "It's okay, I'm just having a nightmare." β
"Where's the kid?"
I put her to sleep. By the way, what nightmares are you doing, so terrible? β
Just as he was hesitating to talk to her, he heard her cell phone ring.
The darling quickly glanced at the child on the sofa, then pointed to me again, motioning for me to look at the child, and she went to answer the phone.
Seeing that I nodded, she trotted to the balcony and picked up the phone.
At first, I saw her smile on her face, then the smile froze suddenly, and then she looked at me stunned.
After hanging up the phone, she walked back with a pale face, looked at me cautiously, and quickly lowered her head.
How can I wait so much, "Who called?" Say what you want. Don't look like you're spitting. β
She gave me a heavy look, "Grandma Dean said that someone from the police station had come to look for her before, and it was about ...... Your father's business. β
My heart hung in my throat.
yes, after all this time, did he think of some tricks again?
Thinking of the way he poured sulfuric acid on me, my scalp tingled. It was as if the pain was still lingering in the body. Waiting to be woken up at any time.
How is he going to torture me this time?
I vaguely asked, "What's the matter, is he going to play some despicable trick to force me to give money?" β
The darling shook her head silently, then looked at me sadly.
"What the hell is going on then?"
"He, he...... He's dead. It is said that he died of an overdose of drugs in a public toilet in the suburbs. The bodies were found several days later. The police found your ID card in his pocket and followed the address on it to find the welfare home. The dean's grandmother said that the police told you to go back...... Corpse ......"
My tense body sank suddenly.
What the? He's dead?
I don't know how to describe the mood at that moment.
I thought I would feel a sense of relief, after all, that person had been so vicious to me.
But......
Why did he die? Or in this self-inflicted way!
But who can blame? He chose the road himself!
I leaned back softly, "You just told grandma that you can't contact me." β
"That'...... What to do with corpses? You can't just keep it at the funeral home. β
I closed my eyes in a trance, "Ask someone to cremate him, find a place to put the urn anywhere, and I'll pay for it." β
After being silent for a few seconds, the darling asked in a low voice, "Sister, are you ...... Why don't you go and see it yourself? β
I pulled up the quilt on the side to cover my head, and said resolutely, "No! The money is in your card, you can give up some extra money, and find someone to deal with it. β
After the darling sighed, she turned around and walked to the balcony again, as if she had called the dean's grandmother again.
I covered my mouth tightly with my hands, for fear that the sound of my crying would be heard by my darling.
How contradictory and complicated, man!
I don't even know why I'm in so many tears.
I don't feel uncomfortable in my heart, but why? As soon as I heard that he was dead, it was as if tears began to pour out from my body.
At that moment just now, it completely erupted.
Fortunately, it was blocked with a quilt in time.
But......
And what shall I use to ward off death?
Parents are like the curtain that separates us from death, and now the curtain has been completely opened.
Next, is it about to be my turn?
When I think about it, I don't even feel scared. Just feel sorry.
Xiao Jue, Xiao Jue, if I really want to go, can I see you one last time. In my life, I have never had time to say goodbye to the person I love the most.
Please, come out and meet me, even if it's only for a short time.
Even if it's just a useless goodbye.