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I cried as hard as I could.

Crying until my throat hurts, crying until my face is so wet with tears that I am about to burst, crying until my eyes are swollen and painful and I can barely open them. But in spite of this, my eyes, which were crying so much that there was only a small slit, still saw the straight and long road very clearly.

I can't remember what my life was like before that day. But after that day, my memory was as clear as if a wall had suddenly been carved open in a dark room.

That day, my mother gave me a few dollars to buy candy to eat, and I went out happily, but halfway through, as if I had a premonition, I turned back again.

I saw my mother packing her things in a panic, and I was a little confused. I'm not surprised that my mother wants to leave, but is she going to leave me? Doesn't she want me anymore?

When my mother saw me coming, she was stunned for a while, then she came to her senses, smiled with her bright lipstick mouth, and said: "Chu Chu is good, my mother will go out for a while, and I will come back after a long time, you have to listen to Dad." ”

Then, I heard the horn of a car outside the door, and I quickly ran out to look, only to see a fat uncle sitting in the car, staring at me with disgust.

I understood something at once, and I quickly ran back to the house, tugging at my mother's trouser leg and begging her not to leave me, begging her to take me away, I will definitely listen to her obediently and not be naughty.

Mom's movements slowed down a little, she turned her head away, stopped for a few seconds, turned her head, and told me to listen to my dad with a smile on her face.

No matter how much I cried and pleaded, she finally abandoned me. I was about to cry and watch helplessly as their car drifted away, until there was only a small black dot left, and then, in my sight, there was only that road.

It wasn't the reason for me to cry, but it became a scar that I couldn't help but want to cry when I saw it later.

When Dad came home in the evening, as soon as he entered the door, a pungent smell of wine came to his nose. Seeing me squatting alone behind the door and crying faintly, his stumbling steps suddenly became normal, and after going crazy around the room twice, he yelled at me hoarsely: "What about that slut? ”

I shook my head tremblingly and shrunk even tighter. Seeing this, my father pulled me up by the ear like a chicken, yelling and asking where my mother had gone, and I finally couldn't help crying, "Mom is gone!" Let's go! ”

After that, I only felt a buzz in my ears and a sudden pain between my teeth. I was stunned for a few seconds, and then I felt that there was something warm and warm in my nose gushing out, and when I reached out and wiped it, it was full of blood. I was so painful that I almost wanted to cry, but when I saw my father's fierce eyes, I was so anxious to endure it. But Dad didn't stop there, grabbed my hair and slapped me in the face several times, beating and scolding me for being useless, why let my mother run away.

I don't know how long I was beaten like this, but my face went from being in terrible pain at first, to becoming numb and more like a wooden stake. Dad finally got tired and threw me to the ground.

It wasn't until he slammed the door shut again that I, who had been lying on the ground motionless, didn't dare to get up little by little with both hands. In the midst of tears, I saw a tooth that had been knocked to the ground by my father.

Since then, my father's punches and kicks have become a daily routine for me.

At that time, compared to the physical pain, the most uncomfortable thing was the heart.

I felt that I must be a very bad and bad child, so my mother didn't want me anymore and left on her own.

And every time my father beat me, he would hate me to die, saying how disgusting I was. After talking about it a lot more times, I began to think that it was true, that I was really not a good boy, otherwise, why didn't my parents like me?

And this dislike, like a contagious plague, has spread all the way to schools.

I, who always ranked in the bottom few grades, was naturally not treated by the teachers. And without a mother's child, it is inevitable that the clothes will be sloppy, and my classmates will naturally stay away from me. It would have been fine if it was just like this, but gradually, the way they looked at me began to become weird.

I don't know when it began, whenever I walked to a place, I would see several boys who had been in a circle, one of them suddenly came forward and bumped into me solidly, which caused a sharp pain in my chest. Then, as soon as the man ran away, there was a roar of laughter from the boys in the circle.

I glared at them angrily, but after all, I didn't dare to say anything, touched my tears, and continued on my own way.

I grew up in fear in the midst of unexplained ridicule and whims.

Suddenly, for a while, my father liked to dress up, and he didn't like to drink so much, and the family seemed to be richer than before. I happened to hear the neighbors talking about the relocation money and the like, and it dawned on me what was going on.

After class that day, an intern art teacher took me to a quiet corner and told me in a cautious tone that I was growing earlier than other girls and that I should ask my mother to buy little clothes for me to wear. I was stunned and a little puzzled, but I felt very shy and didn't dare to ask more.

When I got home, I wondered how to ask my dad for money, and at the same time made the messy bed for my dad, and when I saw the money under the pillow, I was stunned, and then I pulled one out of it and went out in a huff.

I walked into a store and asked loudly, "Boss, do you have any small clothes at home?" ”

The adults who were trying on clothes for the children looked at me in amazement.

Then the proprietress poked her head out of it, "Hehe, little girl, you're talking about underwear!" We don't have it here, the one opposite you go up the slope, their house is the one that specializes in underwear. ”

I was stunned by those people. He bowed his head and whispered thank you, then turned around and walked out.

However, when I arrived at the door of the store, my face turned red all the way to the depths of my neck.

I looked left and right, thinking I was on the wrong track, but it was clearly not. When I found out that the teacher asked me to buy what these adults were wearing...... It was a shock when I was so shy that I was at a loss for what to do.

Maturity, for others, may be excitement and joy, but for me at that time, there was only fear and helplessness.

I hesitated at the door to go in.

"Little girl, do you want to see underwear? Come in and see! The proprietress greeted her warmly.

I walked in with my head down. Every step I take, it feels like a fire is burning in my face.

"Boss, do you have any small clothes here?" I grabbed the corners of my clothes tightly with both hands, not daring to look up.

"Hehe, look at you! The little face was so red that she was about to pinch the blood. What is shy, this is what every little girl has to go through. Let's see, which style do you prefer? "The hostess laughed heartily.

I raised my head slightly, and when I saw those small clothes of different styles, I quickly buried my head again.

"Hehe, little one! Come on, come on, Auntie will choose it for you, come over and I'll see your size. ”

Until now, I am very grateful to the proprietress who gently guided me through the road of sudden panic with her businessman's generosity.

After teaching me how to dress and what to look out for in the future, at the end, she smiled and said that I was plump and blessed in the future.

I didn't understand that at the time, I just felt hot all over my body and wanted to leave quickly.

Walking down the street, I was afraid that people would see that I was wearing something that made me shy. So try to keep your head down and your back up, and even pick some roads with few pedestrians.

The closer I got to home, the heavier my steps became.

Usually, even if you are not naughty, you have to be beaten, but this time I stole money, maybe I will be beaten to death. When I think about this, I instantly feel like I have to breathe.

However, sometimes life is wonderful, and you never know what kind of opportunities will await you in the next second.

When I was about to open the door and get beaten, the door suddenly opened.