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The Forbidden City in Layue is like a glass world, with snow in the eyes, icicles hanging under the eaves, and the cold air is everywhere.

Hu Shanxiang lay on the couch, stunned on the table blue and white porcelain plum vase and the red plum offered in it, the enamel of the porcelain vase is as transparent as water, the fetal physique is thin and light, elegant and fresh, full of vitality; The plum blossoms are warm and melting, exuding a clear fragrance, and the color is as hot as rouge - although the house is burning with a dragon on the ground, warm as spring, but she does not feel the slightest warmth, her heart is like being in the ice and snow, and she can't see the spring flowers blooming.

Half a month ago, I heard that the imperial concubine gave birth to a healthy prince, and her eyes regained her sight, Hu Shanxiang was happy for a while, and took two more steps, so that he was born prematurely. It was a boy who was born, but he died in less than two hours. After beating the child and being buried, she has always been like this.

How similar is the first child she conceived, both are boys, and they all died young.

At this time, she remembered that the doctor had tactfully persuaded her, saying that this child was conceived at the wrong time, insufficient qi and blood, and congenital development was not good, so I am afraid it would be difficult to give birth safely.

These days, she thinks back to the feeling of being pregnant with a child over and over again, but finds that she has been frightened all along.

It turns out that what doesn't belong to you can't be kept even if you get it forcibly.

Hu Shanxiang's heart is like a tree, if it weren't for the eldest princess coming in from time to time, telling her to eat and get up according to the instructions of the palace maids, she would simply want to go with the child who died young.

Her heart, as the child's breath passed away, was buried forever under the loess, frozen.

The child who died young, even if it was the prince, did not even have the qualifications to enter the imperial mausoleum, and the plum blossoms in that courtyard were his last place of refuge, only a few miles away from Kunning Palace, but Hu Shanxiang could only imagine countless times the scene of him struggling in the dark and shouting for his mother.

Mother-in-law—in fact, she didn't even hear a word.

He could only grow up in her mind, in her imagination.

Even in the end, she prayed to the heavens that if he could survive, she was willing to use everything, whether it was the position of the middle palace, or the glory and wealth, she didn't want it, as long as he could survive and let her watch her grow up, she was willing to use everything in exchange for him to live.

However, God still did not answer her, and still took her child.

"Queen Mother, have you really decided?" There was endless worry in Zhihe's eyes, "It's too late to change your mind." ”

Hu Shanxiang didn't speak, only shook his head slightly.

Ruolian and Zhihe quickly exchanged uneasy looks, after all, Ruolian couldn't hold her breath, and said: "Queen Mother, you have damaged the prince, you should mourn, why did you make such a plan, aren't you afraid that the queen mother and the emperor will be sad if they know?" ”

"Your Majesty? How could the emperor be sad? Hu Shanxiang smiled sarcastically, raised her eyes, and looked at the red plum in the bottle again...... After all, you still can't be as noble as plum blossoms, stick to your own heart, and regard glory as floating clouds.

She moved her heart, and God gave her the most cruel response.

Married into this palace for ten years, ten years, she has never gotten a little sincerity from him, before, she thought that having a child, she can have a sustenance, but later, but found that the child is her dependence, she can't wait to give birth to a prince, thinking that as a son-in-law, he will be able to become the blessing of his mother and daughter, in the end, but he wakes up from a dream and dies.

Now, she lives only by relying on the little thought of her daughter, surviving for a long time.

Thinking that the child's breathing was getting weaker and weaker, the doctors were helpless, but they watched him suffer and could not do anything, Hu Shanxiang's heart was like a knife.

She no longer has to bear the pain of life and death, and she no longer has the courage and strength to bear it.

Hu Shanxiang sat up, and saw himself in the diamond mirror on the table, a little haggard but still beautiful, although he did not have the beauty of the imperial concubine, but he was also dignified and beautiful, but in the misty clouds, even if she recommended herself to sit on the pillow, he never looked at himself more.

"How could he be sad? If he knew, he should be happy, so that this palace would no longer be a stumbling block to his wish. As for the queen mother, Bengong can only say sorry, Bengong's courage is too small to bear the pain of gaining and losing again and again. The corners of Hu Shanxiang's mouth slid a tragic but firm smile, "Give it to this palace." ”

Zhihe wept down, brought a bowl of steaming brown decoction, glanced at Hu Shanxiang deeply, and said, "Queen Mother, you are in a mess now, otherwise, you can think about it again, so as not to regret it in the future." ”

Hu Shanxiang shook his head, "No, just like this." If it's better, I'm afraid that the palace will heal the scar again, forget the pain, and give birth to a new vision, this time and again disappointed, again and again in despair, this palace has had enough. ”

Thinking of those nights, she waited for him...... From sunset to dawn, and even later at night, she counted the stars rising and dissipating one by one, how did he understand that she was looking forward to a child, a prince, and even more to his heart.

Now, she doesn't want to look forward to it anymore.

Hu Shanxiang took the decoction from Zhihe's hand and drank it all without the slightest hesitation.

This bowl of medicine was prepared by Hu Shanxiang to ask Zhihe to go outside the palace, the main ingredient is safflower, and if you drink it during confinement, you will be sterile for life.

The pain of losing her child made her never want to try to have a child again, so on the day of her confinement, she still made up her mind to drink this bowl of bitter coptis decoction.

From love to worry, from love to fear, if separated from the lover, worry-free and fearless.

She doesn't leave herself any room for backroads and illusions, and from now on, it's time to be carefree!

The palace maid Jin Hai came over and said, "Queen Mother, everything is ready, please go and take a bath." ”

After drinking the medicine, Hu Shanxiang had no sadness or joy, and bowed his head slightly: "Okay." How's Jin-su doing? ”

Jin Hai sighed: "It's still like that, it's not good to beat her mother, she doesn't know who to listen to, she wants to pray for you, except for coming here to see you every day, that is, kneeling in front of the Jade Guanyin in Qingxin Hall and chanting, no one can persuade her to get up." She hesitated for a moment, but still said: "Queen Mother, you must get better quickly, just for the sake of the eldest princess, you have to get better, don't you see, the seven or eight-year-old little man, kneeling there with a serious chanting, even the slaves and maids look at it, and they also feel distressed." ”

Hu Shanxiang gritted his teeth, "You go and bring the eldest princess over, just say that the palace is ready, and after taking a bath, take her out to play." ”

Jinxiu is her only concern in this world, even if it is for her, she has to get better.

If he forgets his love, he will never be able to hurt himself again.

I will never hurt my daughter again.

The temperature of the water in the bath bucket is just right, Hu Shanxiang picked up the plum blossom petals floating in the water, white as snow, red as blood, yellow with silk, white, red and yellow three colors alternately, the color is brilliant and blind.

And she is the blind one, and from then on, even if the flowers of the four seasons are blooming, they can no longer make her happy.

Zhihe poured a scoop of water on her from behind, and when she saw the water sliding down Hu Shanxiang's silk-like smooth skin, she choked up and said: "Niangniang, don't go, you are so sad now, and you still want to ask the emperor to appoint the son of the imperial concubine as the crown prince as soon as possible, how can you be embarrassed?" ”

Hu Shanxiang smiled faintly, "This palace is not sad, and this palace will never be sad again." Only when the palace asks the emperor to set up the prince as soon as possible, it is the most justifiable, the palace sells such a big favor to them, even if she is in the middle palace in the future, she will not embarrass the palace and the eldest princess. You can rest assured, from now on, this palace knows what to do, this person, can't win the sky, can't resist life, the will of heaven is so, this palace is just pushing the boat with the water, going with the sky. ”

Zhihe is a very loyal person, since the queen made up her mind to ask her to dispense medicine, I don't know how many times she has persuaded her, but she has never persuaded the queen's heart, she knows that mourning is greater than heart death, and the queen mother is really dead this time.

knew that this was the case, seeing the queen drink the medicine, and hearing these words again, her tears couldn't hold back and flowed down.

When she cried, Ruolian's eyes were also red, and she sobbed and said: "Niangniang is too kind-hearted, if you were willing to be ruthless and allow the slave to go...... There is no need to be in such a hurry to ask for the prince, even if you fail to keep the prince later, there is no need to worry. ”

Ruolian had tried to persuade Hu Shanxiang to try to get rid of the child in Sun Qingyang's womb, but she was never allowed, and was relegated by Hu Shanxiang to the outside world as a messenger for a few days to warn her.

Hu Shanxiang smiled bitterly, "This palace has had the pain of losing a child, pushing himself and others, how can he do such a thing?" It's all providence. You go down, let the palace think about it, and how to talk to the emperor in a while. ”

She slid down and sank to the bottom.

The water slid across her delicate skin, as soft as a spring breeze, as soft as the kiss he had ever given—and the tears flowed down uncontrollably, mixed into the water.

After carefully grooming, Hu Shanxiang changed into a regular dress embroidered with a golden dragon and phoenix pattern, wore a dragon and phoenix bead crown, carefully traced his eyebrows with an eyebrow pencil, and put on Feixia makeup.

The eldest princess sitting next to her clapped her hands and praised: "Queen Mother, you look so good." ”

Looking at his daughter's smiling appearance, Hu Shanxiang leaned over and lowered his head, holding the eldest princess's small hand with one hand, and wiping the corners of the eldest princess's mouth with a brocade handkerchief with the other hand, there were the residues of the snacks she had just eaten, "After that, the queen mother wears it for Jinxiu every day, okay?" ”

From now on, she will only dress up for herself and her daughter.

She no longer needs her husband, but her daughter still needs her father, for the sake of her daughter, she has to take the initiative to ask for her life, let him pity him, make him feel guilty, as long as he has these, he will definitely give himself and his daughter a stable future.

Otherwise, thinking of the fate of those abolished queens in history, Hu Shanxiang couldn't help but shudder. That kind of fate must not happen to her and the eldest princess.