"I've had some trouble lately, and I'm going home for a while." Entering the dormitory, Angel said calmly.

It sounded like a farewell to me; It was as if to condemn me for deliberately alienating him.

I don't know what to say.

Should I ask him what's going on at home and make him mistake my concern for liking?

Should I act like I don't care against my will, so that he thinks I hate him?

……

I don't really know.

"Don't worry, I'll be back soon." Angel smiled at me again. I replied with a very unnatural laugh.

Angel was digging for something in the cupboard.

I noticed that he wasn't sweating much; Don't know what he's doing in gym class?

After a few moments, he finally found a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

He walked to the window, and I looked at his slender back, his decadent fingertips, the smoke rings he spat out that dissipated in the blink of an eye.

It was the first time I saw him smoking at school.

Angel turned around again, squinted slightly, and asked me in a seductive tone, "Kang Rong, you don't like me to smoke, do you?" ”

I didn't have time to answer, and he continued: "Everyone says that smoking is not good, it makes people sick, it gets cancer, it makes people rot. But is there a fault when there is a disease? If you are sick, you deserve to be alienated, and you deserve to be looked down upon? ”

His words made my chest ache.

I slowly approached him: "Angel, no one said you were sick. You're not wrong either. ”

"Kang Rong...... You call me a pervert. Angel took a puff of smoke at me, "You despise me." ”

Anqi's eyes reddened, "Kang Rong, I don't care what others think of me. But you also treat me as ......."

"No, Angel, I didn't treat you as a pervert. I'm talking angry! I interrupted him excitedly, "I don't despise you, I'm just a little messy." You don't know, I've been really ...... lately."

"Do you think you're the only one? Do you think you're the only one struggling? I've struggled more than you, before you, don't you understand? Angel was also excited.

"I don't understand." I'm honest, "I didn't understand why you were nice to me before, and now I don't understand even more." ”

"Kang Rong, you idiot! I like you, don't you understand?! Angel glared at me viciously.

The world suddenly fell silent. Even my heartbeat stopped.

"Forget it, it's me who didn't control myself, I shouldn't like you and cause you trouble. You'll assume you didn't hear it. Angel shrugged her shoulders and snuffed out the cigarette butt.

A sad soot mark was left on the wall.

After being silent for a long time, I finally squeezed out a meaningless sentence: "Anqi, you are my cherished friend." ”

Angel's expression became even sadder. He pushed me away from him, returned to his bed, and began to rummage through his cupboard again.

He handed me a book—a collector's edition of Lao She's Anthology, thinner and heavier than mine, with a more elaborate cover.

"I can't find your one, and I don't want to perfunctory you. But it doesn't seem necessary to look any further. If you don't like it, throw it away. Angel said coldly.

I took the book with both hands: "Angel, you want to break up with me?" ”

"You can't break up your relationship. We are still classmates. Angel began to pack his luggage, "From now on, I will be an ordinary classmate." It's the same as when I was a freshman in high school, it's good. Don't worry, I won't rely on you anymore to make you sick. ”

He left a lot of things, only carrying a boarding suitcase, carrying a backpack at the door, and not looking back, leaving two words lightly: "Gone." ”

I watched Angel's figure disappear behind the door, watched the door close, and listened to his footsteps in the distance.

I took a shower, bought another Coke, and went back to the classroom.

All night, I was surrounded by emptiness.

The Angel who always turns the pen and solves the problem in the self-study class, the Angel who whispers to me about the gravitational force or ionization equations, the Angel who pulls me out of the classroom to breathe during class; The Angel, who has been depressed recently, is always silent by my side......

And the Angel who said she liked me, who was a boy like me......

The Angel who disappeared suddenly.

I wonder why he's leaving all of a sudden, and I wonder when he's going to be back......

I don't want to be a "normal classmate" with him.

I was so upset that I couldn't write my homework. When it came time to recess, I went outside the classroom by myself.

In front of me is a secluded bamboo forest, and the sky is a thin crescent moon.

The evening breeze was gentle and cold, making me feel like a numb but flesh-and-blood person.

This feeling may be the so-called "unaccustomed". I shook my head, trying to get rid of the impression of Angel.

You'll get used to it, I told myself.