Sitting facing each other again, Wang Haoju and I were a little embarrassed. Rao is clever and obedient like him, and after the scene of the sudden scene just now, he couldn't help but be slightly embarrassed and silent.

My heart darkened, and I couldn't distinguish the person in front of me for a while. The seriousness that was rare before was as unreal as an illusion, and the left and right sources of his tongue just now were what flowed in his blood.

This is right, everyone has already been endowed with his character and temperament when he comes into this world, and what is in his bones is as deep as a brand, and our troubles and unaccustomedness are often just not putting themselves in the right place.

I sighed softly, the matter has come to this, maybe it is not impossible to say his truth.

The waiter brought the food, I added water to each other, and was about to break the silence, "What happened just now, don't take it to heart", but Wang Hao spoke first, seemingly a little deflated, but he also looked at me and said.

I nodded slightly, "Manager Wang, it's okay, I understand." Pulling the spoon in his hand, the handle of the spoon made a tinkling sound on the strings of the bowl, like a note without a soundtrack, intermittent but self-contained, "It's just that, Manager Wang, you also saw it just now, Sister Xiaoqi seems to have a deep misunderstanding of me, and other colleagues in the department have also complained recently." A job competition has caused rumors, which is really not what I want. The words I told you about my junior qualifications are not just prevarications, they are indeed what I think in my heart, and they are also objective facts. I'm introverted by nature, don't like to socialize, like you and Sister Xiaoqi can speak well to me but the pressure is great, as for the management ability required by the deputy manager of the department for less than two years after graduation I can't talk about it, at the moment I just want to do a good job of my own writing work, slowly accumulate, and then strive for greater development when the opportunity is ripe. ”

I did it in one go, as if I had finally vomited out the knots in my chest recently, completely ignoring Wang Hao's slightly stunned expression on the other side. It's better to open it up like this, so that he can understand my situation and my difficulties. There are many things that have changed at a time and place that we don't know. Some self-righteous people are good to others, but they add to the other party's troubles, Wang Hao is such a shrewd person, I don't think he won't understand.

Sure enough, he was stunned for a moment, and exhaled heavily, "Xiao Li, I understand, this time it was indeed me who didn't think it through." He took a sip of the glass of water on the table, closed his lips as if it was difficult to swallow, and frowned, "I have been in Kairan for many years, and I have been doing administration, and I have seen a lot of messy things in this workplace. I didn't expect that this time I pushed you to the forefront because of my recommendation, it was my negligence, and I want to apologize to you. ”

"No, no, Manager Wang," I couldn't bear to hear him say sincerely, "I know you're kind." ”

"Hehe, there are more cases of good intentions doing bad things" He shook his head and waved his hand, "Maybe I'm really anxious, the Administration Department hasn't seen a pen to write for a long time, and I finally got one, so I'm pecking how to keep you." You don't know Kai Ran, there are few people, and several administrative departments used to have stronger abilities, and in the end, they were all dug up by the business department. There's no way, our administrative department is a back-end department, which makes more money than not doing business, and things are not less cumbersome than doing business. Wang Hao smiled bitterly, "So, for a writer like you, the business department will covet it less, and ah, if I promoted you to deputy manager early, if other departments want to poach you again, the cost will be much higher." There are only a few middle levels in the department, and if you want to go over, it is much more difficult to consider and balance interests than to poach an ordinary employee. I didn't want to tell you these words, for fear that you would think I was too selfish, and if you have other development aspirations or directions, I actually enclosed you in the small temple of the Administration Department, which is to say that it hinders your development. ”

Wang Hao seemed to be preoccupied when he said this, and looked at me several times uneasily, "Now this result is good, one is in line with your wishes, and the other is that you will have more choices in the future, which is good." It's just my sin to cause you to be misunderstood by others. Wang Hao sighed slightly, and then lit the dishes and chopsticks and said to me, "Come, come, eat, the dishes are cold." ”

I didn't expect Wang Hao to have such a hidden feeling in several recommendations, and I couldn't help but be moved, "Don't say that, Manager Wang, my colleagues' misunderstanding of me is just now, it will be fine after a while, I don't mind at all, don't worry about it." Moreover, I don't have any big ambitions, let alone other departments, only in the administrative department can I give full play to my strengths, I cherish this job", I took a bite of food into my mouth, I hesitated, but still asked, "Manager Wang, there is something I haven't understood, why haven't you considered Sister Xiaoqi before?" ”

As if he was not surprised by my question, Wang Hao smiled slightly, thought about it and said, "Xiaoqi, she does have a good overall quality, and she has grown up quite fast over the years, and she can be regarded as helping me support half the sky in the administration department." After a pause, Wang Hao's eyes seemed to be a little confused, as if he had fallen into a long memory, "I think you should have heard that Xiaoqi has some thoughts about me." But you can also see that Xiao Qi and I essentially belong to the same kind of people, and we both survive in this world by mouth. Don't look at us on the surface as if we are like fish in water, in fact, who is not forced to laugh and scold the world? It's just to beg for food. Wang Hao smiled bitterly and shook his head, "But after a long time, it seems that I have become accustomed to it, and sometimes even I can't tell which is the real self, we often say that we live with a mask, but what the face under the mask looks like, it seems to be very vague......"

I looked at Wang Hao in front of me, his eyebrows and eyes were dim, and the perennial high-intensity work had soaked him into a puffy body and shortness of breath, sitting in front of me at the moment, telling the bitterness all the way, the quick thinking of the past was nowhere to be found, only a decaying body remained, listlessly spread out in the chaos of this world, no one cared, no one cared, it made people feel a little desolate.

"Sometimes I spurn to see my own face, so whether it's work or life, it's enough to have me, why bother to find another one to put by your side? This is not such a beautiful thing...... Wang Hao laughed self-deprecatingly, "What's more, Xiaoqi, she is a person whose heart is higher than the sky, her kind of personality is actually more suitable for business, if it weren't for me, she would have broken through the world in the business department a long time ago, why not live in the small well of the administrative department for many years." You have also seen it, in fact, Mr. Xiao Guo has long wanted to dig her up, no matter what his thoughts are, it is good for business and private reasons, at least it is beneficial to Xiao Qi's personal development, that is her position and her path, why delay with us? Wang Hao sighed abruptly, as if thoughtful.

"Last New Year's Day I went to Sanya with her, I didn't want to go when she gave me the ticket, I understand her intentions for so many years, but I haven't responded, I thought this would make her retreat, but Xiaoqi, hehe, she is a more and more frustrated character, I know it, how can I forget? In her eyes, my non-response did not mean rejection, but rather acquiescence to the relationship. Gradually, the colleagues around us also made jokes about us, intentionally or unintentionally. At the beginning, I also said a few words to everyone not to talk nonsense, after a long time, it seems that I am numb, anyway, I am also single, everyone likes to talk about it, it is harmless, and sometimes a few words of gossip at work can also enliven the atmosphere. I even occasionally thought that if I was really destined to have no other fate in this life, I could live with Xiaoqi in the end, after all, in this world, how many people's marriages can really be satisfactory? The days of turning a blind eye are over, and what are you asking for so much. My acquiescence to Yu Xiaoqi was of course happy, so she took it upon herself to book a ticket for me and her to travel to Sanya, but people are not as good as heaven, but at that time my heart lived in other people, so at first I refused, remember that time you came to my office, Xiaoqi was very angry? At that time, she was full of joy to send the ticket, but I didn't expect me to blindly refuse, her temper must be difficult to accept. I also regretted it a little afterwards, this incident was ultimately due to me, it was my ambiguous attitude that gave her the illusion, I felt that I couldn't do this anymore, maybe I also wanted to soothe her emotions, so I agreed to go to Sanya with her, thinking of taking this opportunity to make it clear to her, long pain is better than short pain, it is better than hurting others and hurting yourself all the time. ”

Wang Hao stopped half of his meal, and seemed to have lost his taste. I saw that he drank a few sips of water, and the hand holding the water glass finally disappeared, and finally I couldn't help but ask, "Do you mind if I smoke a cigarette?" ”

"Ah, it's okay, you smoke, you smoke" I responded mechanically, Wang Hao said that he and Zhang Xiaoqi had been entangled for many years, but to me, he could only be a helpless bystander. Zhang Xiaoqi is infatuated with Wang Hao, but Wang Hao's ambiguity and selfishness towards Zhang Xiaoqi seem to be understandable for the two single men and women. It's just a matter of feelings in the world, but it's the most difficult to consummate, A likes B, B likes C, C likes D's love drama seems to be staged every day, the kind of love that meets each other at the right time and knows each other and loves each other, and can also enter the marriage hall to the end of life, in the real world, after all, it is too little and too difficult.

I think I can probably understand Wang Hao's mood at the moment, he is not without feelings for Zhang Xiaoqi, in this world, there is a thing called "long-term love", even if it is not love, it can also be dependence and companionship. When you consciously or unconsciously think about another person, the other person has already left a place in your heart, but you may not realize it.

But I can only be silent in the face of these, Wang Hao and Zhang Xiaoqi, whether they are in love with each other or forgotten in the rivers and lakes, after all, it has nothing to do with me, it is their world and their lives, separated by 108,000 miles from me. Maybe what Wang Hao needs at this time is just a person to talk to at a chance opportunity, and I just played this role at this time.

So I ate in silence. Although the atmosphere today is not good, and the food in my mouth tastes like chewing wax, Wang Hao, as my boss, is willing to confide in me these private things, at least it shows that he trusts me, and I should also be grateful and respectful.

"Xiao Li," Wang Hao lit a cigarette and took a deep breath, the smoke slowly seeped out of his mouth, blurring each other's vision, and his voice seemed to float from the far sky, with a slightly hazy sense of unreality, "I admit that I have selfish intentions in recommending you, not just because I want to keep you at work, but this has nothing to do with Zhang Xiaoqi." For more than a year, I have watched you go through and grow along the way, and I don't know when I started to be so interested in a person, as if it was a long time ago. Wang Hao paused, filled my water cup with water, and continued: "I have been divorced, I think you should have heard of it." My ex-wife used to be a salesman in Kairan, you know that she has been doing sales for many years, running outside, contacting all kinds of people, and there are more times when people can't help themselves, and then she met a boss who sells drugs, and then we separated. Wang Hao's tone was understated, as if he was talking about something that had nothing to do with him.

"Since then, I have told myself that my other half will not look for someone who is too extroverted, which is one of the reasons why I am reluctant to accept Zhang Xiaoqi." Wang Hao dusted off the cigarette ash in his hand and continued, "Actually, I miss home very much in my bones, and others may not be able to see it, but I do hope to be able to keep the years quiet with my other half, and the girl who is in the room and IKEA is easy to attract me." ”

When Wang Hao said this, his eyes were soft and his expression was calm, as if he had fallen into infinite reverie, but my heart skipped in his words, and the once familiar tension and uneasiness struck again, but Wang Hao didn't seem to want to give me a chance to interject.

"Xiao Li, do you remember the day we had a car accident?" Wang Hao took a sharp puff of his cigarette and asked a little abruptly.

I raised my head to meet his eager and determined eyes, and before I could answer, his voice rolled in, "That night, I was actually going to confess to you. I can't say when I started feeling this way about you, but I'm a person from the past when it comes to feelings, so I naturally know what it means to you. But what I've always been sure about is your heart, which you usually be polite to everyone, but it seems to be limited to that. Sometimes when you make a joke with me, I think you're getting closer to me, but the next time you're alienated again. But I think that feelings can be cultivated slowly, and I have to give it a try anyway, even if you reject it, I must at least understand. So the two of us happened to go to the industrial park that day, and I thought it would be a good opportunity, so I had the urge to confess. The corners of Wang Hao's mouth showed a wry smile, "But I never dreamed that I would be blocked by you before I could speak, and I didn't even have a chance to say it......"

Wang Hao shook his head unconsciously when he said this, and reached out to take the water cup, but accidentally knocked over the cup and soaked the tablecloth, and the large water stains spread along the warp and weft of the tablecloth, and after a while, they spread into a large water curtain, which was as wet as if I was in the mood at the moment.

"Hehe, it's hard to collect the water" Wang Hao stared at the wet tablecloth, as if he was touching the scene, "Maybe it's good not to say it at the time, so as not to be covered with water like this, at least I can get along with you as usual." I did think so at the time, maybe you weren't ready, after all, you just graduated from school, you are still so young, and the status of a divorce like mine also has a psychological barrier for you, but I still believe that sincerity is open, as long as you are still single, I still have a chance. So, I told myself not to rush and take my time. ”

"But no one could have imagined that we would be in a car accident that night. Later, I learned that it was you who dragged me out of the carriage desperately, even if the worst did not happen that day, but at that time, under such a crisis, you were a weak woman, in the face of such an accident, you rescued me regardless of your life, do you know how I felt when I heard the news? You and I are not only the girl who makes my heart move, but also my savior! Wang Hao's voice trembled a little because of excitement, and there was a burning brilliance in his eyes when he looked at me, "Since then, I have found it difficult to suppress my affection for you, I have rarely been so impulsive, and even this competition was so impatient, and it turned out to be self-defeating...... But since I've said this today, Xiao Li, let me muster up the courage to ask you again, if you don't have a boyfriend, can you seriously consider me? ”

Wang Hao finally said it, emotional forbearance may be the most painful thing in the world, after so many mundane entanglements, he still chose to obey his own heart after all. Maybe for him, the man is unmarried, the woman is unmarried, and it is only a matter of time before he confesses. But how do I tell him that there is no place for anyone else in my heart.

I only know that when Wang Hao was detailing his thoughts just now, there were countless names of "Chen Ran" surging in my heart, and countless firm voices telling me to "reject him".

Emotional matters are destined to be unable to be shared with others, otherwise, they will harm others and themselves.

Thinking of this, my heart gradually calmed down, "Manager Wang, thank you for your kindness to me, and I am also grateful for everything you have done for me, I am very touched." It's just, it's just, I already have a boyfriend, I'm sorry. "Forgive me for lying to him, but this can at least make Wang Hao less hurt, after all, every relationship deserves respect and kindness.

Wang Hao was obviously a little stunned by the answer that I already had a boyfriend. After a long time, he smiled self-deprecatingly, "That's another surprising answer." Xiao Li, you can always give me too many surprises", raised the water glass and touched it with me, "Okay, at least it means that you didn't deny me as a person, I was just a little late in line, right?" By the way, is it possible to cut the line? ”

Wang Hao looked at me with his usual smile in his eyes, but the light inside gradually dimmed. We both knew that this was just a joke and could only be a joke.

I smiled quietly at him, but sighed in my heart, Wang Hao said that he was just late in line, but for Chen Ran, how could I not be a person who was late in line?