Li Yue'er

I was not surprised to receive Chen Ran's reply, he was such a polite and gentle person. It's just that he said that he liked it very much, no matter when or where, I don't know why he added the next sentence, which seemed a little abrupt, but as if he wanted to tell me something. As for his call to my beloved little sister, he seldom expressed it in such intimate words, and all of this happened to me one by one.

It's not that I wasn't moved, even if I was lonely all morning because of the ticket home, there was a trace of sweetness flowing in my heart at this moment. I'm different from Chen Ran after all. Otherwise he wouldn't be so affectionate and direct between the lines. The silent squares were piled up in front of me, and I could see his gentle eyes looking at me on the other side of the screen.

Li Yue'er, you should understand that Chen Ran has been married for many years before he met you, and his wife and his home are nothing more than ordinary for him. If you decide to stay with him, no matter what role you are, you have to adapt to what he already has in his life, it's not his fault, it's not your fault, it's not something that can tell right from wrong.

Chen Ran once said that everything in the world happened by chance, so his union with his wife before you was also a chance at that time. And now that he meets you, no matter what kind of chance, it will happen now, no matter what the future will be, but now because of these shadows that will often appear in his life, he will make himself distressed and annoyed and even retreat his hand, ask his heart, are you willing?

Are you willing to do it? Chen Ran's goodness, Chen Ran's warmth, even if it can only be the eldest brother, his careful care and thoughtfulness are also complexes that I can't give up, how can I give it up?!

Yes, how can you be willing to give ...... In that case, why should I bother with a thin ticket? These existences have long been destined between me and him, and all I can do is to face it, accept it, shake hands with it and coexist peacefully, even if it is for my eldest brother Chen, maybe it is also for myself, not too hard.

yes, that's the way it can be. Up to now, no matter how many other entanglements there are, they can't compare to the luck of having Chen Ran, even if they can only be as little sisters. Feeling a little comforted in my heart, I clicked on Chen Ran's text message again and replied, "You're welcome, big brother, if you like it." Happy Chinese New Year to you! ”

Chen Ran's phone call came quickly, "Yue'er, thank you for the gifts you carefully selected for me, I have already put them on, it flatters me very well, my little sister is very discerning." ”

My face couldn't help but blush, but my heart was full of joy. Chen Ran called me so affectionately, as if it was as natural as family, this feeling was too good, and it made people happy, "It's your good temperament, big brother, my scarf is just icing on the cake." ”

"Huh? Ha ha! Chen Ran seemed to be stunned for a moment, and then smiled heartily, "My little sister is still quite good at talking!" Looks like other people still don't know about you. Okay, okay, I just know it! Then he asked, "When will you go back to County D?" ”

"No. 12, I only bought a ticket for that day"

"Okay, go back and say hello to your father on my behalf, and give your whole family a New Year's greeting!" Chen Ran paused and seemed to think about it, "Yue'er, my plane on the 11th is back to N City." ”

"Oh, well, I know." I suddenly didn't know how to answer.

"Yue'er, I want to tell you," Chen Ran's voice came steadily from the other end of the phone, "No matter where the eldest brother is, he will always worry about you." ”

I couldn't help but be stunned, as if there was a Manli painting scroll slowly unfolding in front of me, countless colorful stars passing by, and one after another pink beaded flowers gradually bloomed, dazzling my eyes. In the dazzling strangeness, I seemed to hear the voice in Chen Ran's heart - "Yue'er, don't mind that I'm about to leave you, you must understand, and you must believe that you have always settled in my heart, no matter where I am." "Yes, he didn't say it, the radio waves swirled in the air, blocking his eyebrows and his face, but I heard the whispers in his heart, sorry for the embarrassment of reality, helplessly and persistently, he took care of my feelings like that, but he didn't want to deceive me, so sincere and thoughtful, just because it was me, he really treated me as his family.

The noon sun hung high in the sky, and occasionally a gentle breeze blew, mixed with a little refreshing coolness, but it could not penetrate the dense gold thread that the warm sun shone through. Outside the window, the cold branches mean, there are one or two birds that are not afraid of the frost and cold, only a little bit, and then fly away again, the branches under their feet tremble lightly, making a thin rustling sound, but also the movement is appropriate. I was so moved that I couldn't help myself in the sky, and I couldn't cry into the microphone:

"Big brother, I understand, I understand"

Chen Ran

I finally flew back to N City, the city I had been absent for a long time, on the 28th of the lunar month.

Before getting on the plane, I received a message from Yue'er: "Big brother, have a safe journey and have a happy Spring Festival!" At the crowded airport, I was a little moved. Looking out the window, on the wide and straight runway, the plane rose and landed in an orderly manner, full of countless people's hearts like arrows back and forth in the sky. But at this moment, I don't have the excitement and joy of going home, as if it was just an ordinary business trip, and all the hustle and bustle around me is just a background noise that has nothing to do with me.

The three-hour flight flew by in a flash, and in the evening, the plane landed on time in the city of N. Walking out of the cabin, the coat on my body could no longer withstand the invasion of the heat wave, but in half a day, I had come from the steep winter to the warm spring and summer. took out his mobile phone and sent a message to Yue'er for the first time, "Yue'er, I have landed safely, don't read it", looking at the words "sent" displayed on the screen, I actually had a moment of trance, since when, between me and Yue'er, it has been such a natural concern, and even her quick and short reply "good", in my opinion, it is also full of tacit understanding and tacit trust that both sides know.

Okay, Chen Ran, return to your place, you have set foot on the land of N City, and the crowd and air here, the blue sea and blue sky, all remind you of the only purpose of this trip. In half an hour, the plane carrying your wife and parents will arrive in N, and your first task will be to wait for them to go home with you, to the home you have been away from for a year, and where you have left a footprint for ten years, although it is now empty for most of the time.

Shaking my head and smiling helplessly, I took one last look at the communication with Yue'er, and finally pressed the delete button. With a clang, all the words were erased without a trace, as if nothing had happened. I found a café to sit down, I lit a cigarette, and Yue'er's face loomed in the smoke that I gently exhaled. What kind of mentality do I have? I deleted my message with Yue'er, of course, because I didn't want to be seen by Xiaojuan, why didn't I want to? If Yue'er is really just a little sister, what is there to avoid such greetings and blessings? Is it subconsciously that I have already put Yue'er in the same position as Xiaojuan, so I will delete the message with her like a thief, even if it is such an ordinary concern. And I left the scarf given by Yue'er in City C, and gave myself an excuse that I couldn't use cashmere scarves for the warmth of City N. In the end, I just don't want Xiaojuan to know.

Hehe, Chen Ran, look, what is the difference between you and that kind of man?

Fidgetily extinguishing the cigarette butt, I moved my numb body with some uneasiness. Looking at the time, Xiaojuan's plane was about to arrive, I poured the last sip of coffee into my mouth, picked up a tissue to wipe a handful of sudden bitterness, and dragged my suitcase to the pick-up gate.

There was a crowd of people, and I saw Xiaojuan and my parents walking towards me one after the other. I haven't seen me for half a year, and my parents seem to be a lot older, and they are full of exhaustion. Perhaps the loneliness of traveling to several places but not their hometown finally added new frost to the two old men, and the embarrassment that the son could not serve the left and right and the daughter-in-law was always busy became their unspeakable hardship. I saw my father carrying a simple duffel bag, supporting my mother and walking slowly, a few steps ahead of them, Xiaojuan stepped on bright red high heels, dragged the suitcase with one hand, talked about the phone with the other, and walked on the ground with the wind at her feet. My brows frowned slightly, and I couldn't bear it anymore, so I hurriedly stepped forward and waved: "Dad, Mom, I'm here!" ”

When my father heard my call, he had a long-lost smile on his face, and while dragging his mother in my direction, he told Xiaojuan that I was coming. Xiaojuan's hand holding the phone was put down, waved at me and nodded, and she was already out with the crowd. I hurriedly went up to take the luggage in their hands, and my mother looked at me and smiled brightly, "Son, when did you arrive?" Before I could answer, he looked at me carefully, shook his head and sighed, "Son, you have lost ...... weight."

I smiled and said, "Mom, what's the matter, it's hot at this time, take off your clothes, wear less and look thinner." ”

"Look at you, you should be happy to see your son, and you start talking again, your son is so old, and you can't let go of him like a child," the father said angrily.

"Yes, yes, yes" The mother seemed to wipe her eyes and smiled, "Blame me, blame me, the old problem that can't be changed for decades......" turned to me and said: "Son, don't you help Xiaojuan take the bag, that bag is quite heavy, and it is all the things you love to eat on weekdays!" ”

"Oh, is it? Hearing what my mother said, although I had dragged two boxes and carried my parents' luggage, I also grabbed the backpack on Xiaojuan's shoulder and said with a smile, "What delicious food did you bring me?" ”

Xiaojuan looked at me with a smile and said, "Have you forgotten what you like to eat?" I'm really happy to stay in Kairan."

"Hey, here we go again" I snorted, beckoning to my parents while dragging her, "Let's go, hurry home, your parents are still waiting for us to have a reunion dinner!" ”

Xiaojuan smiled softly, no longer caring, and the group finally arrived home before the meal.

Xiaojuan's parents were overjoyed to know that we were back today, and asked the nanny to start arranging dinner as soon as lunch was over. At this time, a large table full of chicken, duck and fish, as well as Xiaojuan's favorite steamed crab and assorted lobster, made people salivate. Xiaojuan is even more happy, people in their thirties seem to have returned to the appearance of childhood, in front of her parents are full of daughter's coquettish attitude, while talking about the colorful work and life in H City, and on the other hand, chattering about the good of her parents in N City, coaxing the old couple to be so happy that they can't close their mouths, and a table of dinner is also happy.

While talking and laughing, Xiaojuan's mother sighed inadvertently, "Daughter, don't just care about work for a day, the girl's family is still the most important family." You see that now that Chen Ran has gone to other places again, although there is less time to meet, you still have to hurry up and have a child. This home is only complete if you still have children. Mom, those colleagues in the original unit, all of them are grandmothers and grandmothers, and the grandchildren and granddaughters are babbling and babbling, and they are calling grandma and grandma in a milky voice, ouch, I am listening to it next to me! ”

"Mom, why are you mentioning this again for the New Year?" Xiao Juan seemed to put down her chopsticks with some displeasure, picked up a crab and slowly picked the meat in her feet, and said impatiently.

"Hey, it's weird, why can't you mention this during the New Year?" Xiaojuan's mother was stunned, "It's just a family for the New Year, and it's good to be in the same house for several generations, I'm a mother, I want to be a grandmother, I want to hold my grandson, oh, it's not okay?" ”

"Your mother is right," Xiaojuan's father also spoke, "Xiaojuan, you are not young anymore, you are almost successful at work, you can still fight for your life than those young people?" There's no need, you are now the deputy section chief, and the size is considered to be a successful career, enough, daughter, our family doesn't need you to work hard to make money, besides, isn't there Chen Ran? He doesn't earn enough for you to spend in a year? Xiaojuan's father took a sip of wine, "If you want me to say, both of you are now stronger than too many people in your careers, it's time to calm down and think about the child!" Do you say, Chen Ran? ”

"Ah, Dad, well, yes, we've been planning it all along." I had to say perfunctory.

"What a plan!" Xiaojuan threw away the crab in her hand with a "snap", and paused and said, "Dad, Mom, everyone is here today, and I simply said, I, I don't want to have any more children."

I turned my head to look at Xiaojuan, wondering why she would say such words, especially at such a family gathering where both parents were present. After being stunned for a moment, I hurriedly persuaded, "Xiaojuan, what are you talking about, my parents are here!" ”

"It's because my parents are here that I said it, and you all blame me if I can't explain it a few times" Xiaojuan slapped me away and dragged her hand, and continued, "Dad, Mom, I'm not young, I have always wanted children, but after so many years of conditioning, it has no effect, and Chen Ran is not always around, I am not far from forty when I come and go." After a pause, "I'm developing quite well in H City now, after all, it's an international metropolis, and it's really stronger than N City in all aspects, I'm thinking about transferring directly to H City, and I've been doing this work, so it's definitely impossible to have children now." Moreover, I think it is good for women to pursue careers, and the two years of work have brought me more pleasure than ever before, so I have also thought about it for a long time, and with my current situation and age, I have decided not to have children. ”

An unspeakable silence spread between the dinner tables, and the laughter just now seemed to be a world away. "Nonsense! It's nonsense! Xiao Juan's father slammed the table and pointed at Xiao Juan, "Do you think these words, or do you and Chen Ran mean?" ”

"I thought it myself, and that's what I think now!" Xiaojuan is not to be outdone.

"Daughter, why do you talk to your dad like this? Alas! Xiaojuan's mother sighed on the side.

"I don't care what you think, or what you two mean, I don't care if you want to pursue your careers, in short, you can't have children!" Xiaojuan's father poured the wine in the cup and said to my parents, "In-laws, I'm sorry to make you laugh!" This daughter of mine is too willful, and we are used to it all the way, alas! ”

"It's okay, it's okay, in-laws, the children have children's ideas, Xiaojuan should also be impulsive, the New Year's Day, let's talk about it, talk about it well......" My parents persuaded me while giving me a look.

"Dad, Mom, don't be angry for the New Year," I hurriedly played a round, "I'll talk to Xiaojuan about it, it's not easy for her over the years, and she also has her own difficulties." Let's not talk about that, huh? Come, come, eat first, eat, the dishes are cold"

"Yes, yes, eat first, eat first," Xiaojuan's mother also persuaded her. But after such a show, a meal is tasteless and unpleasant.

Lying in bed at night, I looked at Xiaojuan who was pretending to sleep next to me, thought about it and asked, "What's going on today?" ”

After a while, there was no movement, I thought Xiaojuan was asleep, and I couldn't help sighing, but I heard a voice come muffled, "Chen Ran, what I said is not impulsive, it is all my sincere words, in fact, I wanted to tell you last time I went to City C on New Year's Day." ”

"I see what you mean, is that really what you're going to do?" I sat up, lit a cigarette, and asked faintly.

"Well, I've been thinking about it for a long time," Xiaojuan was still facing away from me, and I couldn't see her expression clearly in the dark, "I've been in H City for two years, and I seem to really like this city, and now I have such an opportunity to transfer over." I was really tempted. Chen Ran, do you remember what I told you before? I want to have the visible in my hands rather than an uncertain future. ”

took a few deep puffs of cigarette and was silent for a while, "Even if that's the case, you shouldn't pour it out like that at the dinner table today, you think, how can your parents and the four old people stand this?"

"I admit that I am willful, but it is better to have a long pain than a short pain, lest they be tormented by hopeless hopes." Xiaojuan sniffed, and seemed to be a little emotional.

I couldn't help but sigh and extinguish the cigarette butt that I hadn't smoked a few times, "I can understand what you're saying." Your thoughts, as your husband, I will still respect them. Leaning on the back of the bed, I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, "In the end, it's still my fault, before and after, all these years, not by your side." We're all too small for a while......"

I'm telling the truth, for Xiaojuan, not only did she stay away from her twice, but also because of Yue'er's appearance, she felt guilty in the bottom of her heart. Xiaojuan also seemed to be touched sad, I saw her shoulders twitching violently, I understood the sadness in her heart, but I also seemed to be tired today, sighed heavily, I lay down again, covered the quilt for each other, and said to her back, "Don't be sad, sleep." ”

But the night was dark, and the warm sound of firecrackers in the vicinity passed through the laughter and laughter, but it drifted farther and farther, disappearing into the vast sky, as if separated from us, 108,000 miles.

Xiaojuan and I finally opened our eyes until dawn in the midst of more leaky sounds.