On a windless autumn day, a wisp of clouds swept across the blue sky, like a distant white wave gently moving, but at this moment, it suddenly froze on the sky wall because of the stagnation of time, and the scenery outside the window in front of me was like an empty shot on a movie screen; The whispering of "The Infinite Earth" from the small Panasonic speaker, George Winston's fingers racing tirelessly on the keys, and the tapping of every note from the grand piano on the ear drum are enough to make people fall into the memory of the past.

I sat in my room in the autumn of 2015, looking out the window at a clear afternoon streetscape; The shimmering waves on the surface of the Yitong River, the nearby Freedom Bridge, the China-Japan Friendship Hall, the Jingkai Building in the distance, and the vehicles and pedestrians passing on the Freedom Avenue are all very bright because of the sunlight. In this clear day, before my eyes, everything gradually became silent because of the reappearance of memories, as if all kinds of sounds had been hidden under the sun. I looked at the clouds again, and the clock was still ticking.

The many such sunny scenes I have seen in my life from the afternoon to the setting of the sun always make me feel endless sadness, as time constantly brings memories as it flows, and then turns into a trickle of sadness in my mind. I wondered, what is the cause of this sadness? Why is this so? No need to ask, born from everything in front of me and in my head. I searched through the past that I had experienced, and I thought about the things I had done, the people I had met, the harm I had unintentionally done to myself and others, the pain and joy I had experienced, all of which were getting farther and farther away from me as time went on. I am well aware that the distant memories in my heart have never faded over the years, and are still full of color even now. Today, I finally understand that the longer the memory goes, the more delicate it becomes, and the many casual moments and details that were not cherished at the time come flooding in, like countless slides flashing on the screen, but I can't touch them! The pain in my heart at this moment is hard for me to let go, it is leaving me every minute, and as life goes by, this pain is also as slender, delicate, endless, and endless as time has carefully polished.

The pain kept asking me, "Will you always be in this pain?" Is this what you are? ”

Yes, that's who I am, whether it's pain or pleasure, it doesn't make a significant difference to me. I just accepted it as a fact, as a part of my mind. Now that I have accepted reality, I am bound to merge it with me as a whole whole, and even if I throw it into the dark well of memory or crush it into powder, it will still be a part of me, which cannot be disassembled or separated, just as the eyes have the function of seeing and the ears have the function of hearing. From the time I was twenty-three years old when I made it a part of my autumn scene, and it is still true today. The initial sense of resistance has disappeared, replaced by repetitive images of the past, and derived from the sense of memory, metaphysical, pure people and the past, all of which remain in that period in the state of that time.

I looked at the oil painting "Sunshine in the Rice Field" hanging on the wall, and thought to myself that perhaps it was precisely because he could only accept the pain of reality and could no longer touch the past years, and he could not fully understand the concept of time and the changes brought about by the passage of time, and he could not integrate the pain of gradually moving away from memory into his heart, so Lin Jun depicted his pain in this "Sunshine in the Rice Field", expressing his confused cognition of the external world through painting. This is his ability to comprehend memory in a way that is based on confusion, and this is perhaps the only reason why he chose this painting to give to me. It does remind me silently all the time, and no matter what, the memories of the past have become a part of me. "Pain and pleasure are part of you for you, needless to say!" Lin Jun said.

This is indeed the case.