I didn't say anything and turned to go home. Set sail, once a man's heart leaves this home, it is difficult to take it back. I thought that your father would apologize to me when he came back, that he was confused for a while, and begged me to forgive him, but I cried to death and waited for him to change his mind, but I didn't expect that what I was waiting for was his words - let's divorce. I will not divorce, for the sake of your son, I will never divorce. ”

"You obviously can't live without your father." I muttered. It's not that I don't know that mothers are used to being dependent on their fathers.

"Ah, you say I can't live without your father? Your father has treated me like this, what do I still miss him? I really didn't divorce him for your sake. Don't say that, you are so young that you still don't understand, you still don't understand many things, you just let me say this, whether it's for you or for me, I will resolutely not divorce, and I will not divorce if I die. Don't persuade me to divorce. Ah, I'm not going to get a divorce anyway. Hey, hey, but it's really hard to have a hard time. ”

I sat with my mother until twelve o'clock. Every time there was a movement in the hallway, my mother would look excited, and she thought it was my father who had returned. I advised my mother to go to bed, but she didn't agree.

I suspect that my mother sat in the living room almost until dawn that night, because several times I woke up I could see the light coming in through the crack in the door. I know my mother is still sitting in the living room. Really, my mother is the most infatuated woman I have ever seen for a man.

My father didn't come home until the next afternoon, and I could tell from the look on his face that he hadn't been able to raise six thousand dollars.

The final solution to this matter is to do it according to my grandfather's ideas. Although the grandmother was strong, she still compromised for the sake of her daughter's happiness. Together, they scraped together 6,000 yuan for their father.

Seriously, that's when I realized that my grandfather knew my mother best.

After my high school entrance examination scores came out, my father talked to me very seriously. From his mouth, I learned that the two invigilators did give me and Wu Lianzi zero marks on the test papers. The difference between my total score in the high school entrance examination and the admission line of Hua'an No. 2 Middle School is 28 points, and the difference between the admission line of Hua'an No. 1 Middle School and Hua'an No. 1 High School is 39 points, which means that if it were not for this accident, I could have been successfully admitted to Hua'an No. 1 Middle School.

"Is it true? Are you telling the truth? "My father's face made it difficult for me to figure out whether he was happy or sad.

"Of course it's true." I say.

"You can't be the one who hurt someone else, right?"

It dawned on me. It turned out that my father didn't believe that I could get such good grades. I can't blame him, because I tore up the "three good students" award I got in Jiangcun Middle School, and he never saw it.

"It's not that I don't believe you, I think ......," my father explained busily, "but it doesn't matter, whoever influences whom, I can put you in our school anyway." I mean, if you don't have a very good foundation, you'll be very tired. ”

"I won't go to Hua'an No. 2 Middle School to study." I say.

"What?"

"You don't have to bother, what school I am admitted to and what school I attend." Again, I emphasize.

"How is that possible? You have to read it in the second middle school. Home is here, parents are here, and all conditions are available. Father said.

"I didn't have any intention of taking the second high school exam in the first place."

"You ......"

"If nothing else, I'm in the room." I walked into my room and closed the door. I lay on my back in bed and didn't think about anything.

Father must have been angry.

I had to go to high school at the Railroad Middle School.

It's strange that I can't hate Wu Lianzi at all. You know, it's no exaggeration to say that I've been influenced by her all my life. Hua'an No. 1 Middle School and Railway Middle School are several grades of difference in terms of teachers and school environment.

It stands to reason that I have the heart to kill her.

But lying on the bed, my mind was still flooded with Brother Jun's proud face, and I still felt humiliated by Wu Lianzi for Brother Jun's late exams, and I didn't think about anything else.

It seems that all this is a painstaking arrangement by God.

……

That summer, the quarrel between my mother and father barely broke. The mother was angry about her father's cheating, and when something didn't go her way, she talked about it.

I understand my mother's feelings.

Cheating is like a fish bone stuck in your throat, you can't swallow it, you can't spit it out, you think about it all the time, and when you think of it, you have a very uncomfortable feeling, and you always want to swallow it or spit it out.

At that time, my mother was still relatively young, and she didn't know that this kind of thing could only be diluted by time. It can only be diluted, not eliminated. It can never be erased, and even when you are dying, you may still remember it.

Whether my father really repented, I don't know. But the whole family helped him solve the problem, and it was certain that he would not do anything sorry for his mother for a while, but his mother always talked about him, and he naturally couldn't bear it because he had always been very angry.

There is often a smell of * at home.

I almost always hid in my little room. I hid in the small room when they quarreled, and I hid in the small room when they were affectionate. The little room became my little world.

At one point, I felt safe only by staying in this small room.

I feel very worried, Yu Huihui's affairs, Wu Lianzi's affairs, Yao Jun's affairs, and especially Hao Junqi's affairs, all make me sad.

That summer, my thoughts about Hao Junqi increased day by day. I had the urge to go to the East Gate many times.

"Maybe Hao Junqi has returned," I always thought, "maybe his father came back with Hao Junqi when he heard that the old village chief's son was not dead." ”

This impulse lasted for a long time, and I even went to the station alone to learn about the timetable of the shuttle bus from Hua'an to Yangjiang, but in the end I still returned.

I don't have any money. I don't even have the money for a basic ride. And if I ask my parents for money, they will talk about me about my education. They have already discussed with me n times whether to read Hua'an No. 2 Middle School or not, and each time they have broken up. They insisted that I go to Hua'an No. 2 Middle School, and I insisted on going to the Railway Middle School, the middle school I could get into.

I pinned my hopes on the next summer vacation, even if it was the next winter vacation. However, in a chat with my mother, I learned that my father had gone to Dongmen twice during my time in Jiangcun Middle School, and what my father learned was that Hao Junqi and his daughter had not returned, and Uncle Zhu still had no news at all.

No one knows where Hao Youde went.

My heart kept sinking. I didn't think about why my father went to the East Gate so often.

I often sat in the corner of the small room, and at the beginning of the evening at the beginning of dark, I took the flute and played "Red Lotus Fragrance Residual Jade Autumn" sung by Teresa Teng over and over again.

At that time, although I didn't know much about the artistic conception of words, I always felt that that tone and flavor could just express my feelings at this moment. It's not just a bleak feeling. And the low tone of the flute further exaggerates this atmosphere. So I let my tears flow.

It was a negative and positive time. As the saying goes, "young people don't know the taste of sorrow, fall in love with the floor, and say sorrow for the new word".

And for me, this feeling of sorrow is far more than the average young person feels.

However, in my bones, I am positive.

During that summer vacation, I lived and studied very planned. The love of music is still the same. I went to the newsstand and bought several small music magazines, and sang about pop music or folk songs to my liking. Needless to say, my favorite songs are sad or extremely lyrical. On the radio, the weekly song of Jiangxi No. 1 is a must-listen program, and often after a week, I will sing one more new song.

In particular, I fell in love with reading literature books that summer. No, it's not a martial arts novel anymore. I've completely lost interest in martial arts novels, and I read so-called "pure literature" books.

My first contact was with Ba Jin's "Collection of Short and Medium Stories", and "Autumn in Spring" shocked me greatly. I didn't expect a short novel to have so much artistic power.

Because of it, I went to Xinhua Bookstore many times to buy Ba Jin's books. I've read almost all of Barkin's books. Radiating out, I dabbled in some books by many contemporary writers such as Shen Congwen, Zhou Zuoren, Lu Xun, Mao Dun, etc., and when I became interested in classical literature and tried to read "Dream of Red Mansions", high school life began.

At that time, my parents had already succumbed to my insistence and agreed to go to the railway middle school.

Railway Middle School is a children's school, a middle school that combines junior high and high school. It can be guessed from the low admission score that Railway Middle School is the school with the worst teachers and the least poor management among all high schools in Hua'an City.

The railway middle school is located on the outskirts of the city, very close to the railway, perhaps for this reason it was named the railway middle school.

It is precisely because it is in the suburbs that the area of the railway middle school is so large. In the urban area, no school is larger than the size of the railway middle school. I don't know how many acres the school occupies, but when I saw the big playground in front of the school, the playground was so green, and I liked it.

The railroad middle school has three gates, one leading to the street, one to the playground, and one to the railroad behind the school.

Behind the school is a vegetable patch. Behind the vegetable patch is a small stream, which used to be the railway. When the train rumbles by, I always feel like my eardrums are going to burst.

The school is really too close to the railway.

We were signed up by a very thin teacher, with a pair of glasses on the bridge of his nose and sunken eye sockets, like a traitor who betrayed his compatriots in the anti-Japanese chapter. I still remember that his name was Zhu Zhuwu.

"Do you want to live on campus?" Zhu Zhuwu asked.

"Stay." I say.

"No, no, teacher, my son doesn't live in school." Mother said.

"Is that to live or not to live?" The head teacher's voice was a bit loud.

"Stay!" I said through gritted teeth.

"Then pay the accommodation fee."

Mother looked at me. Maybe she saw my resoluteness, so she didn't insist.

Actually, at home, I already have everything ready for boarding the school. I brought my three newly purchased copies of Dream of Red Mansions to school. At that time, I only seemed to understand "Dream of Red Mansions", maybe it was just because Jia Baoyu in the book was touched by the same hand as me, so I decided to read it to the end. Strange to say, during that time, every noon I would have dreams related to "Dream of Red Mansions". I naively thought that the charm of books was too great, but after studying psychology, I realized that it was actually a psychological phenomenon - the proximate effect.

I stayed at the school on the day I registered. It was a small dormitory for eight people. I live in the bedroom by the window, on the top bunk. Sitting on the top bunk, I could see that the vegetable patch at the back of the bedroom was growing vigorously. On the railway, a train is passing.

At eight o'clock that night, a group of people suddenly broke in from outside the dormitory. It is a young man with long hair of one color.