"It's easy to wither - how can this be? You're so young, the fighting power of the flowers should be very strong. "My father looked at me with kindness.

"I don't know, maybe it has something to do with the habit of touching my hands, which I've had since junior high school. Dad, do you remember? That teacher Zhang posted the letter I wrote to my female classmates on the wall. "I used the lie I told Xu Mo to prevaricate my father again. That's the best reason for that.

"Yes. Dad will never forget it. Set sail and you're not well-behaved from that incident. ”

"Since then, I no longer dare to look at girls, I dare not raise my head in front of girls, I dare not talk to girls, but I always have that impulse in my heart." I said with my head down.

"So you touched it."

I nodded.

"Hey. But many young people have the habit of touching their hands, and they are not still very successful after marriage? Let me tell you, Dad touched his hand when he was young. I see, you must have been in that shadow for a long time because of this particular event, and you have not been able to get out of the space for self-entertainment. "My father is a man from the past, and he is really good at analysis.

"Yes. This is the cause, mainly because it has been going badly since then. ”

"I don't know where you have offended the heavens, it seems that you have never been obedient." The father was simply a different person, kind and kind, "You see, the two decisive exams, whether it is the high school entrance examination or the college entrance examination, there were accidents." ”

"yes. In the high school entrance examination, I met a classmate from my old school who copied my test paper and gave me a zero score in one subject. At the time, you didn't believe I had such good results. And the college entrance examination is really not playing well. ”

"It's Dad who doesn't believe that you have changed so much all of a sudden," Dad said guiltily.

"As you have analyzed, the more uncomfortable people are, the more they like to indulge in self-entertainment." I say.

"But under normal circumstances, once you get married, this problem doesn't exist."

"Well, of course I won't touch my hand again when I'm married. But as soon as you get married, the problem is exposed. I'll tell my dad the truth, because he and Xu Mo have repeatedly failed, which has increased the pressure on my heart, the more I want to succeed, the more unsuccessful I become, and the less successful I am, the less confident I become, so that I don't have the courage to return to Hua'an. "I can only continue to compile.

"Yes, in life, there are many things, as long as we work hard, as long as we are willing to pay, we can generally do well. The so-called effort always pays off. Father was quite touched, "However, this kind of thing is different, not that you can do it well with your efforts, and not that you can satisfy people with your heart. In some cases, even the opposite, the more you want to do well, the worse you don't, and the more you put your heart, the less successful you are. ”

"Thank you for your understanding."

"Of course I can understand it, because Dad is also a man." My father reached over and grabbed my hand, "Do you want to find a doctor?" ”

"I'm a doctor myself. What is even more terrifying now is that I can't touch it, but in two or three days my flowers will bloom and gush in my dreams. I said.

"That's the aftermath of touch."

"I think so."

"But I believe that it will get better after a long time." My father touched my head.

"I believe it too."

A nurse came in to understand the situation, and we had to interrupt the conversation. I walked to the balcony in front of the ward.

Standing on the balcony in front of the ward, you can see the sky over the high-rise building covered with clouds. The sun appears and disappears in the clouds. Several cars were parked in the courtyard of the hospital. I saw the security guards walking around the yard.

My father's towel and change of clothes hung from wire rope in the hallway. The temperature is very high. I washed my hands in the sink and washed my face with water in my hand.

I walked into the room. The nurse has left.

"This ......," my father glanced at me, and stopped talking.

"Do you want something?" I walked over to my father's bedside.

Father shook his head, "Yes - set sail, can you tell Dad now why he insists on going to Yangjiang to work?" ”

"Oh? How do you think about it again? There's nothing special about it. "I didn't expect my father to bring it up again.

"You still don't believe Daddy." The father closed his eyes.

"I don't believe you?" My father who closed his eyes gave me a very vulnerable feeling.

I was a little confused for a while, where did my father's toughness and domineering go?

"If you believe Daddy, you'll tell Daddy the real reason." The father opened his eyes slightly and said without any expression.

"What do you want to say?" I felt something in my father's words.

"If Dad didn't guess wrong, you insisted on going to Yangjiang for Hao Junqi." My father turned his head slightly and looked at me.

My heart sank: "Why do you think that?" Do you remember Hao Junqi? ”

"How come I don't remember? Grandpa Hao's granddaughter Hao Junqi, your best playmate in childhood. You insisted on going to Yangjiang to work, and even fell out with me, at first I couldn't figure it out, I felt that Yangjiang was not worthy of your nostalgia, and later, lying on the hospital bed, I thought about it over and over again, and suddenly woke up, you are looking for Hao Junqi, or waiting for Hao Junqi. Father seemed a little agitated, and he paused, or rather, to adjust his mood.

“……”

"I know you're still mad at Daddy for one thing," Father continued, "and, most likely, you'll never forgive Daddy for the rest of your life." ”

I looked at my father and said, "How can there be such a thing? ”

My heart trembled as I said this. I knew what my father was trying to say. It's just that in this matter, I always thought that my father didn't care.

"The look in your eyes tells me I'm right on your mind, isn't it?" My father said, "Even in the summer vacation of the second year when we returned to Hua'an from the East Gate, I didn't promise you to visit Hao Junqi. Although I have explained to you again and again, and you clearly saw that we were building a house that summer, you never forgave us. That's what I thought about the last time I was in the hospital. ”

My eyes gradually turned red, "How can you still remember this little thing?" ”

"Don't think that your father doesn't care. When I saw the entire Dongmen Village submerged in the water, and when I learned that Hao Youde and Hao Junqi had fled, I knew what a serious mistake your mother and I had made. And set sail for you, that is, since then the whole person has changed, becoming unsmiling, becoming willful, and becoming taciturn. That's when you got into trouble one after another, so much so that you went to three schools in junior high school. That's where it all comes from, right? But why don't you want to think about it, if Dad expected that so many things would happen to Grandpa Hao's family in the next year, would Dad not take you to visit them? Dad isn't a fortune teller. If these things don't happen to Grandpa Hao's house, what do you say, what difference does it make if you visit them a year later? "My father's mood fluctuated a little. This can be seen from the heart detector next to it.

"But...... It's all over, Daddy. I said.

"I know, you and Hao Junqi have discussed that you will definitely visit her that year, but things are variable." The father followed his train of thought and said, "I think, if Hao Junqi knows that you didn't fulfill the contract because of our family's house, I believe she will also forgive you and forgive us." Set sail, you should understand by now that building a house is a big deal, especially at that time, how difficult it is to get a house from the school, right? ”

"I know. But the problem is that Hao Junqi doesn't know, she thinks that I am the same as those people who are decentralized, and I forget about them as a city person. What's even more worrying is that I haven't had a chance to clarify with her until now. "I didn't want to say anything based on my father's body, but I couldn't help it. As soon as I spoke, I couldn't hold back on my emotions.

"yes. That's what kills. Hey, who wants to leave you with a lifetime of regrets just to build a house? Dad really doesn't want to. Actually, isn't this Dad's regret? When I think about it now, I feel like it's fate, it's fate. Not only have you suffered from it, but I have also suffered a lot, you see the way I am now. Father said.

"I'm sorry."

"If you want to say I'm sorry, my dad should tell you. You are the biggest victim. ”

"It's me who I'm sorry Dad." My tears flowed silently.

"Okay, it's finally done. Don't be sad anymore. Do you know? Set sail, I want to see Hao Junqi more than you. Father said suddenly.

"Why?" I was stunned.

"No, this, don't be too surprised, do you think, as long as you see Hao Junqi and fulfill your wish for many years, won't you ease the relationship with your father?" Father said in a panic.

"Oh." I felt like my father was hiding something.

"By the way, haven't you met Hao Junqi in Yangjiang for so many years? Don't have a little news of her? Father asked.

I shook my head.

"It's weird too. Is it really gone? Or is she and her dad just out of town? But it stands to reason that they always have to come back, even if it's to come back to see, right? ”

"I think so too." I said, "As long as she is in Yangjiang County, there will always be a time to meet." ”

"I wonder if she's married?" The father looked at the ceiling, and his tone was very strange.

"Of course it is." I smiled, "Dad, Kiki is thirty years old this Chinese New Year's Eve." How many women are still unmarried at the age of thirty? ”

"yes, it's long overdue. Maybe there are several children. She's not a kid anymore. Father's expression was a little dazed, "It's been eighteen years since we left the East Gate. Oh, by the way, set sail, now Dad can tell you, Dad doesn't want you to go to Yangjiang County to work, after it has become a fact that you went to Yangjiang to work, Dad has repeatedly asked you to go back to Hua'an to find a girl to marry, but he doesn't want you to go to Hao Junqi. ”

I see!

The crux of everything turned out to be here.

However, just because I don't want me to find Hao Junqi will make my heart so fragile, just because I don't want me to find Hao Junqi to worry about my blind date like that, if there is no special reason, it is too unreasonable. So I asked my father, "Why?" Why don't you want me to find Hao Junqi? Is it still the concept of city people in your ideology that is at work? ”

"Or so to speak." Father faintly.

"You can say anything, but it is!" I'm a little angry.

"Daddy is for your good. What is the reason? Father's eyes were a little dilated, and he paused for a while before saying, "Anyway, you and Hao Junqi can't get married." ”

"Why?" I asked.

"Dad was a little tired and wanted to rest. I'll tell you when I have a chance later. Besides, there's no way you're going to marry her now. ”

I looked at my father suspiciously.

"I'm really tired." The father closed his eyes.