Shino moved her face and looked at her mother, who was lying on the floor dozens of meters away.

Then I found that the eyes of my favorite mother clearly revealed the feelings of fear and cowardice towards Shino.

This made her look dull in her eyes, and she couldn't help but look down at her hands. The hands that were still holding the handle of the gun were stained with red-black liquid droplets.

Only then did Shino open her mouth and let out a sharp scream.

"Ahhh............hhhh

She let out a small cry from deep in her throat as she continued to stare at the former canine star SL that Euphemia held in both hands.

It seemed that blood could be seen dripping from the back of the white hand to the fingertips. And even after blinking his eyes several times, the blood still didn't disappear, and he saw the thick liquid dripping on the floor drop by drop.

Suddenly, liquid came out of her eyes, and her vision suddenly became blurred, and she could only see the black glow of the model gun.

Out of the dark abyss emerged the man's face.

The third bullet fired flew towards the face. After being hit by a bullet, the wound was unexpectedly small, and it looked like a black mole. But then there was a thick mist of blood floating behind the enemy's head. The expression and anger on his face disappeared in an instant.

But his left eye suddenly moved. Stared at Shino with the pupils that were like a bottomless abyss.

He just looked straight into Shino's eyes.

"Ah...... Ah............h

Shiina's tongue suddenly clung deep into her throat and she began to feel unable to breathe. At the same time, the stomach began to contract violently.

I don't know when it began.,Shino's heart kept repeating this sentence in a small voice.。

"Help me...... Who's going to ...... Help me...... Help me...... Who's going to ............"

The incident began to come back to my mind, and the memories of the days after the killing of the bandits were actually a little blurry.

It was as if the adults in the dark blue uniform nervously asked her to hand over the gun, and her fingers were so stiff that she couldn't get out of the gun.

There are also many red rotating lights and yellow strips of cloth that sway in the wind. Behind the strips of cloth are many white flashes that make people can't open their eyes.

Or maybe she only noticed the pain in her right shoulder when she got into the police car, and when she cowered and told the police, the police quickly asked her to transfer to the ambulance - Shino probably only had these fragmentary memories in her head.

While lying in the hospital bed, two policewomen kept asking Shino what had happened.

Although she kept asking to see her mother, it took a long time for this wish to come true. Shino left the hospital three days later and returned to her grandparents, but her mother was admitted to the hospital for more than a month. And the peaceful days before the incident never came back to them.

Due to the self-regulation of various media outlets, the details of the incident were not widely reported. The documents sent to the prosecution state only the death of the suspect in the armed robbery of the post office, and there was no public trial.

But my grandparents' hometown was a very small city. What happened at the post office was detailed, or it should be said, into rumors with various plots, and spread throughout the city like a prairie fire.

For the remaining year and a half of elementary school, Shino was given all the terms that could represent "murderer", and after entering junior high school, the surrounding area became completely ignorant of her existence.

But the eyes around him didn't really have much effect on Shino. Because she wasn't interested in joining such a group in the first place.

It's just that after so many years, the scars left by the incident in Shina's heart still make her feel very painful, and there is no sign of healing at all.

Ever since the incident, Shiina's sight of firearms evokes vivid memories of the time, causing her to fall into severe shock symptoms.

Whether you see a toy pistol in a child's hand on the side of the road or a gun on a TV screen, it can easily cause symptoms such as shortness of breath, general stiffness, loss of orientation, vomiting, and even loss of consciousness in severe cases.

As a result, Shino can hardly watch a play or a movie. On several occasions, I had seizures because I watched a video tape for teaching social studies courses. When she was in middle school, she passed the time by looking at the complete works of large-format books in the darker corners of the library, which were limited to literature dating back to the long past.

When she told her grandparents that she wanted to work far away now, and was met with strong opposition, Shino said it would at least take her to the past, to go to school in the same area of Tokyo where she lived with her parents as a baby.

She really wanted to go to a place where there were no haunting rumors and curious eyes. Because she can be sure that as long as she continues to live in this small city, then her psychological wounds will not heal for the rest of her life.

Of course, Shina's symptoms have been diagnosed as typical post-traumatic stress disorder, and she has received countless psychological counseling in the past four years. And she also obediently took the medicine according to the doctor's instructions.

But the words of the doctors, who all seemed to have the same smile on their faces, could only caress or scratch the surface of Shino's heart, and could not reach the injured place at all. They kept saying in the clean room, "I know, it must be painful." It's hard for you."

This kind of words, but Shino is listening to it and repeating it in his heart.

- Have you ever shot anyone?

Now she has also reflected on herself, and it is this attitude that causes her to be unable to trust the doctor, so that the treatment has not been effective.

But even now, it is still the undisguised truth of the poem. Whether what he did was good or bad - perhaps Shino just wanted to hear them say something about it. Of course, no doctor can answer that.

But no matter how much he suffers from memories and seizures, Shino has never thought of ending his life.

She didn't regret pulling the trigger on the man. When he pointed a gun at his mother, Shino could only do that. Even now, if she were to return to the moment of the incident, she would do the same. Because she must protect her mother, this is a belief since childhood.

And chose the path of suicide to escape, then the man died in vain, Shi Nai thinks so.

That's why she wants to be stronger. I want to have the courage to say, "In that case, I would have done it for granted." Like a female warrior who mercilessly takes down her enemies on the battlefield. That's why she would want to live alone.

Before leaving her hometown, Shino said goodbye to her grandparents and her mother, who hugged her like a toddler and stroked her hair like a toddler before the incident.