I am in the same country as loneliness, this may be fate, in the darkness I lit a candle, the dim flame danced softly, it was the silent heartbeat, the candle burned out, the darkness swallowed me. There was no resistance, no struggle, and I was used to the darkness. A lonely person always remembers everyone who has appeared in his life, so I always think of you and count my loneliness over and over again on every starfall night.

When I was younger, I thought it was cool to be alone. Growing up, I felt that loneliness was a very bleak thing. Now, I don't think loneliness is a thing. Sometimes, what one needs is real hopelessness. Real hopelessness has nothing to do with pain and sorrow, and real hopelessness makes people feel calm. In fact, no one is immune to loneliness, and it is better to face it than to run away from it. Loneliness is not such a bad thing, compared to noisy, loneliness seems so quiet, so self-satisfied, this is not a kind of enjoyment. A person's world is truly their own world. In fact, if your world is not understood by anyone, you can only enjoy the world of one person。。。。。 After all, who wants to be alone.

It was another silent night, the sky was cold and the moon was like a ditch, and the wilderness was vast. My thoughts looped infinitely along with that ethereal melody, the past scenes replayed in my mind, and those unforgettable experiences filled my heart, and I couldn't breathe at all. Looking out the window at the waning moon hanging above the sea of stars, I especially want to roar at the moon like a soul singer (wolf) to vent endless loneliness and depression. But I can't let that be a nuisance。。。。。。

How long has this been going on? A year? Or two years? I don't remember exactly! In short, those things are like dreams that replay in my mind every day, so that I can't tell whether reality is real or unreal, and I don't even know if I sleep every night, and I feel like I'm asleep but I don't feel like I'm asleep. This state of affairs has put me on the verge of collapse, and the last straw could fall at any moment until it shatters my fragile line of defense, which is already full of cracks.

Until one day we came to the place where we started again, looking at the familiar scene, as if pressing the button of the image rewind, and the past scenes were replayed in our minds again. It was like a flood bursting its banks, constantly hitting my heart that was about to collapse. In the end, I was not swept away by the torrent, but seemed to be washed away by the mind, and became calm and transparent. At that moment, I figured out that instead of constantly suppressing myself and ending up depressed, it is better to find a suitable way to release the catharsis. All I had in mind was to write it as a story。。。。。

I let out a long breath and was silent for a long time as I looked at the blank paper in front of me. Finally, the tip of the pen continued to fly on the white paper with the ethereal thoughts。。。。。

My name is Gao Feng

Born in 1992 in the People's Republic of China

In 2007, he studied at Jilin Provincial Institute of Engineering

In 2010, he served in the Heilongjiang Armed Police Corps

In 2013, he worked in an armed escort center

In 2014... That year。。。。。

The Buddha said, "Where there is a cause, there must be an effect, and when you plant the cause, you must taste the fruit, whether it is sweet or bitter!" I believed! Because to talk about this, we have to start with a disaster when I was young...