That year, the semester was particularly long because of the leap month, and the final exams were not held until the beginning of February of the following year. The students' boredom is very heavy. The teachers also seemed tired from class.

We had planned to go on a picnic as a class at the end of December, but due to the continuous rain during that time, we had to move the activity to the last semester of high school.

Xiong Yanfei and I are looking forward to this outdoor group activity. I've already told her about this activity plan, and I hope she can come back to class and participate in this activity before it starts.

This became a topic that we often talked about.

We even designed the specific arrangements for the activities, for example, we must be in a group in the group, for example, we want to borrow a bicycle, I use the bicycle to take her to the picnic point, for example, we will cooperate to cook a good dish for everyone to eat, and we even often ask her mother for cooking because of this, but Xiong Yanfei's body is very unhappy, and she is not as good as a day, and in the end she has to be admitted to the hospital.

Xiong Yanfei spent a week at Hua'an People's Hospital, and the attending doctor couldn't control the deterioration of her condition (I later heard that the doctor had used chemotherapy drugs that had toxic effects and adverse effects on the respiratory system, causing acute chemical pneumonia), so she was transferred to Shanghai. At that time, it had been closed for almost a few years.

I don't really know how I got through that year. I feel that Xiong Yanfei's condition has reached a stage of rapid change. It is unlikely that Xiong Yanfei will get better.

I locked myself in my room all day like I did during the summer vacation. I can't accept that reality. I pray to the heavens almost every day, just like Xiong Yanfei prayed to the heavens when he first went to Shanghai.

I naively thought that God would be moved by my piety.

Wu Shufang came to my house to see me once. I only walked out of my house that day to accompany her to the playground of Hua'an No. 2 Middle School, and our conversation almost revolved around Xiong Yanfei's condition, and our hearts were very heavy. It was only when she finally left, when she asked me what kind of school I was applying to, that we changed the subject.

Xiong Yanfei was transferred back to Hua'an People's Hospital from Shanghai Hospital on the 10th day of the first lunar month, and we have already returned to school, because considering that the new semester is very short, our senior high school and junior high school students have classes a week earlier.

As soon as I learned that Xiong Yanfei had returned to Hua'an, I immediately asked for leave to visit her in the hospital.

Xiong Yanfei was admitted to the intensive care unit. I thought that Xiong Yanfei would lose weight after this period of illness, but she didn't expect her to gain weight instead. But her parents were emaciated.

I walked into the intensive care unit and sat silently in front of the bed, holding Xiong Yanfei's hand with both hands.

Xiong Yanfei's parents walked out of the ward for some reason.

My tears were streaming down.

Xiong Yanfei grinned, "You're worried again, set sail?" ”

I didn't speak, just shook Xiong Yanfei's hand.

"You hurt my hand." Xiong Yanfei said.

"Ah," I let go of Xiong Yanfei's hand.

"I love it when you hold my hand."

I put Xiong Yanfei's hand in my hand again, "Are you okay?" ”

"I won't die for a while."

A wave of sadness swelled up in my heart. "How can you say such stupid things, you won't die."

"I'm not afraid of death. But why do people die? Xiong Yanfei seemed to be asking me, and she seemed to be asking herself.

"You're not going to die. Don't think so. ”

"People can die at any age, the key depends on when death falls in love with him. Death now it's haunting me. But I'm not afraid of it, I just can't accept it. Like me, I have lived in this world for 18 years, I can cry, laugh and think, know that one plus one equals two, can sing and dance, can feel the beauty of music, can still love, and can play the piano, but suddenly an illness comes, people tell you that you are going to die, can you accept it? Death is not terrible, the key is that the result of death is terrible. If you are put in a coffin, your corpse will soon turn into water and melt into the earth, and your bones will one day be weathered into nothing. You will be nothing. What are the states of emptiness and nothingness? How can a person become empty and empty? Xiong Yanfei almost said to herself.

"Yan Fei, I ask you not to think like this, you must not think like this. You're really thinking too much. Why bother with all this? I choked.

"Set sail, don't kid yourself. You knew I was going to die, didn't you? There are almost no people who suffer from this disease who do not die. I'm lucky to be alive until now. So I don't want to deceive myself anymore. But I'm not going to die right away, and the Grim Reaper isn't ready to take me away. I pray it doesn't take me away so quickly, and I want to set sail with my parents and you for a little more time. Xiong Yanfei said calmly.

I choked up and couldn't speak.

"I just regret that I can't go to a picnic with you. Is the picnic about to start? Xiong Yanfei changed the subject.

"We discussed this issue during the make-up class, and most of us wanted to start it sooner so as not to worry about it affecting the college entrance examination review, so we decided to have a picnic next Saturday. The location has been chosen. I said.

"Where?"

"Go to a place called Chengjiazhuang, which is still under Jiefeixiang's house. Jie Feixiang strongly advocated going there, saying that it was very suitable for picnics, and there was a large sandy and gravel field on the bank of the river in front of the village, and a long reed grew on the sandy and gravel ground, which was very beautiful in this season. You might catch a wild duck in the reeds. There is also a pine forest near the village. I said.

"It's so beautiful."

"So you get well quickly, let's go together."

"It's not mine anymore. As long as you bring me a few photos, I'm satisfied. ”

"If you can't go, then I'm not going either. I'm here to accompany you. I said.

"You're such a fool, how could you not go?"

"If you don't go, but I go, will I feel happy?"

"No, you misunderstood. If you go, it means that I will follow, because I follow you all the time. If you don't go, how can I feel that beauty and that happiness? So you have to go, you know? Xiong Yanfei said.

"Okay." My eyes were moist again.

"That's right. I'll feel it all through you. Set sail, do you remember the letter I wrote to you? ”

I nodded. "I put it at the bottom of my wooden box."

"I said in my letter that I would give you three gifts that year, but I only gave you two, do you remember? On that date, I was about to give you a third gift, and Yu Jinrong appeared. ”

"I remember."

"Now I'll make it up to you." Xiong Yanfei looked at me and seemed a little excited.

"Now?"

"Yes. You bow your head and come to me, and I'll tell you what's that. ”

I stood up slightly and put my head close to Xiong Yanfei, who reached out and hooked my neck, and then kissed my lips on both lips.

It took a full ten seconds for Xiong Yanfei to let go.

"Well, that's my third gift to you. Do you like it? Xiong Yanfei's pale face flushed.

"Yanfei-" I couldn't control my emotions and lay on Xiong Yanfei's quilt.

"You're such a crying boy." I heard Xiong Yanfei say.

At this time, I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my head. Like lightning strikes you suddenly, the pain rises out of nowhere and burrows into your brain, giving you a splitting headache.

The cracked bump of the cliff of the Optimus Pillar suddenly flashed in front of my eyes, and I felt as if it was about to fall to both sides, and I couldn't help but scream. Hao Junqi hugged my body, "Brother, I'm so scared, I'm so scared." ”

"Set sail, what's wrong with you? What happened to you?! "I heard Xiong Yanfei's voice calling out to me in horror.

I opened my eyes blankly. "My head, my head."

"What's wrong with your head? Mom, Mom—"

Xiong Yanfei's parents hurried into the ward. I gradually regained consciousness, but the headache persisted.

"What's wrong with you?" Xiong Yanfei's mother asked with concern.

"My head hurts, it hurts." I say.

"Xiong Zhengyang, why are you still stunned, go and help scream." Xiong Zhengyang is Xiong Yanfei's father's name.

Xiong Yanfei's father went out of the ward to call a doctor.

I shook my head in pain.

The doctor soon came in, and after a basic conversation with me, he went to the office and wrote me a list, and Xiong Yanfei's father helped me to the examination room. I don't remember what it was, it couldn't have been CT, it couldn't have been MRI, I seemed to remember what kind of line it was, and after the examination, the examining doctor said that there was nothing wrong with the head, and there was no tumor as the attending doctor had speculated.

"Is there really nothing wrong with that?" Xiong Yanfei's father asked.

"Judging from the results of the examination, there is no problem, you can take it to Dr. Zhang to see."

Dr. Zhang is the attending physician of Xiong Yanfei.

Xiong Yanfei's father helped me back to the doctor's office. He repeated what the examining doctor had said to the attending doctor.

"Logically impossible. He was in such a sudden and severe pain, usually because he had a tumor in his brain, how could there be no shadow at all? That's neuralgia. ”

"Neuralgia?"

"yes, it's definitely neuralgia." Dr. Zhang is sure.

"Is there any medication that can be used to treat neuralgia?" Xiong Yanfei's father asked.

"Just rest for a while."

"Thank you."

Xiong Yanfei's father helped me to the ward to rest. He put me in the same bed they were sleeping on. The pinprick pain gradually subsided, but the general pain, the pain that I can't tell why, still persisted.

I closed my eyes.

Xiong Yanfei's mother put a quilt over my stomach. I felt my "flowers" suddenly and inexplicably swell, uncontrollably inflated. The headache grabs your attention, and this swelling forcibly diverts your attention to it. I had to sit up.

"What's wrong?" Xiong Yanfei's mother looked at me. Xiong Yanfei turned her head to me on the hospital bed.

"I, I, I ......"

"What's wrong, kid?"

"I want to go to the bathroom." I say.

"Why are you embarrassed to say that you want to go to the bathroom? Let Uncle Bear help you. Xiong Yanfei's mother said.

"No, I'm much better."

"It's okay, let Uncle Xiong help you go."

"I'm really much better." I say.

I reached into my trouser pocket, held down the swollen flowers, and got off the bed to the ground.

I endured a headache and walked to the bathroom.

The toilets of Hua'an People's Hospital are built very humanely, each one is relatively independent, and has its own door. As soon as the door is closed, the space inside is completely personal.

I used to think that when I urinated all the pee, the "flower" would naturally shrink, just like every morning urine, but now, as if it had been enchanted, it was still high-spirited after urinating.

You know what it wants you to do right now. But you also know that you can't do it, you can't do it anymore. That is a blasphemy of love. It is a mockery of true feelings. Even if your head hurts, you can't do it. You've got to put up with it.

So I walked out of the toilet and went to the faucet and washed my face with cold water in my hand, again and again, again and again, until the desire was gone.