Episode 1: It's hard to believe, but it's really Resident Evil

"Wow~"

"Help! Don't eat me, ah!!! ”

In the screen of a panda brand big-ass color TV that looks very old, there is a zombie film that the group of second goods in the United States likes to shoot, and at this time, a woman is being enjoyed by a group of zombie brothers on the TV, and the scene is full of flesh and blood.

", the fagws in the rice country are getting more and more vegetables, can you have some fresh kisses? I really can't imagine how this group of waste zombie turtles can catch people at a crawling speed, but seeing that the zombie brothers are eating so deliciously, my brother's stomach is hungry. "There was a young man sitting in front of the TV.

Dengden Dengden! That's right! Mina Sang's guess is wrong.,It's the legendary male pig's foot.,It's not right.,This is a novel.,How can you say you're a male pig's foot? I'm sorry, but let me introduce myself.

My name is Guan Yu, yes, you heard me right, my name is Guan Yu, it's just that Yu is not Yu, what about me, I am a literary and artistic young man with good appearance and excellent moral character, and now, I am a cartoonist, let's get tired!

"Quick, dear! Hard, hard!! "Then there was some kind of incongruous sound from the other side of the wall.

"Damn, it's next door, is it okay to stop in broad daylight? I don't want people to watch TV well!! ”

Hearing my string of foul words, the other side of the wall also stopped talking instantly, but it was only a few seconds, and the voice just now said: "Honey, don't stop, leave him alone, let's continue!" ”

I was speechless for a moment, and scolded in my mouth: "Fuck, you ** sluts, curse you to be bitten to death by zombies!!"

"I'll send you away thousands of miles away" The mobile phone rang suddenly, I took out my love crazy 5S, looking at it, I always have an inexplicable sadness, don't think about it, I didn't sell my kidney! It's just that it has made me eat instant noodles for two months in a row, and it can be said that during that time, I am simply getting thinner and thinner!

"Hello? Who is it? ”

"Huh? Doesn't that sound like a bad breath? Guan Xiaoyu? A female voice with a playful tone said with a smile.

When I heard this voice, I immediately turned pale, and my tone instantly became flattering, and said: "It turned out to be Sister Xue'er, I know it's your words, how dare you speak like that, you are my food and clothing parents, what is the matter with that Sister Xue'er looking for a villain?" ”

The voice on the phone snorted softly and said, "Manuscript King!" When will your manuscript be delivered? It was a month ago since the last submission, right? ”

"Sister Exueer, give the villain three more days, no, two days, within two days, the villain will definitely call the manuscript to you truthfully, how about it?" I was stunned when I heard the words on the phone, looked at my desk, and I didn't even finish the line drawing, but if I can drag it out for a day, let's talk about it first.

The voice on the other end of the phone also listened to the tone a little better, and said, "If you can't finish it in two days, you can roll the calf for me!" With that, he hung up the phone.

I put down the phone, sat down in my chair, pulled out a cigarette, and smoked.

Well, as you can see, I admit that I'm just a ** silk, a scrap that has been tortured to death by the devil, but I have to prove one thing, I am a man with a girlfriend! And the girlfriend is definitely at the goddess level, don't lie to you!

"Ah!! Help me!! "Just as I was finishing a cigarette, there was a scream from the next door.

"Hey!! Next door? What's wrong? What happened? Reply! When I heard this, my heart trembled, and I felt some bad premonition, and immediately shouted loudly.

But I called for a long time and there was no response, and I felt more and more uneasy, when another phone call interrupted my thoughts.

"Hello? Who? ”

"It's me, Da Zhuang, Ah Yu, I'll tell you, hide at home and don't go out, it's not safe outside, it seems that there are really zombies in reality, you have to be careful, okay, don't say it, brother, I'll run for my life, if there is a chance, let's see you again, if you don't have a chance, remember to burn some paper money for your brother, I" The voice on the other end of the phone was very anxious, and the phone was cut off before the words were finished.

"Hello? Big Strong! Feed? Let's make things clear! "I called into the phone a few times, and all I heard was a beep.

"Damn, what's this going on? Zombie? Resident Evil? Am I going to go, right, just said that it appeared in reality? What should I do if I am swollen, what should I do if I am swollen? I immediately realized the seriousness of the matter, and believed that this was not a joke that Da Zhuang was playing with him, and immediately panicked.

"By the way, Xiaoxi, how is Xiaoxi now?" I suddenly flashed a clip in my mind, a fragment that I didn't want to think of, took out my mobile phone and quickly called, Xiaoxi is my girlfriend, I have been dating her for almost three years, this kind of thing happened, the first thing that came to mind was Xiaoxi, who was still outside, but the phone has always been unanswerable, which made me really irritable, and even had the urge to go out to find her.

"Bang, bang" There was a knock on the door outside the door, the sound sounded very heavy, it seemed like hitting the door instead of knocking on the door, I couldn't help but shake my hand, the phone fell to the ground, the speed of the heart beating at least three times the usual, no way, no matter how much I saw it in the movie in the game, after all, it was just fake, and in reality, it was strange not to be afraid.

"Urgent notice! Urgent notice! "Suddenly, the color TV with the zombie film suddenly jumped off the stage and became a news broadcast, and it was still the two usual anchors, but I felt that something seemed wrong with the male anchor at this time, his face was a little pale, and the female anchor also looked a little haggard.

"Hello everyone, it seems that there are really zombies in the world, and they are spreading at an unimaginable speed, I remind everyone not to go out, no matter who knocks on the door, don't choose to open the door, because it is likely to be zombies, now please Anchor Li to report the current situation for everyone, hey, Anchor Li?"

The female anchor shouted to the male anchor next to her, but the male anchor still didn't speak, his head was lowered, and he seemed to be panting, the female anchor was just about to pat the male anchor's shoulder when she saw this, only to see the male anchor open his mouth and bite the female anchor, just biting the female anchor's hand off in an instant, the female anchor screamed in pain, the male anchor chewed the bit hand, and pounced on the female anchor, biting her throat, and then this live broadcast room was blood spraying and screaming, which made me watch a very real zombie banquet on the side, I couldn't help but swallow and foam.

"Bang! Bang! Bang! "The knocking sound outside is getting louder and louder, it should be regarded as the sound of slamming the door, I can't help but open the window and look outside, because I am a comic book writer so the windows at home are soundproof, as soon as I open the window, I see that the outside is already a mess, the car is hitting everywhere, flying everywhere, the car is full of screams and the kind of disgusting eating scene, needless to say that I also vomited, but because it was more than nine o'clock in the morning, I could only retch, vomit some bitter water, but years of experience in watching bloody movies made me quickly return to normal.

"According to what is said on TV, as long as you stay at home, you should be fine, with my family's 20 boxes of instant noodles and 20 boxes of mineral water, I can live for at least another five months with my frugality, haha, fortunately I'm witty, and with my experience of watching zombie movies and novels for so many years, now going out is death, I don't think I can fly the eaves and walk the wall with my physique, I can only hope that Xiaoxi, and my parents are safe." I thought to myself.

"Ding" Suddenly one of the screws on the door fell off, and it suddenly scared my little heart out.

"Fuck, I remembered, I was kicked by Dongfang Lingxue the day before yesterday, so I just took a few nails and dealt with it, fuck your uncle, don't you play with me like this, right?" I couldn't help but cry without tears, smacking two mouths for my own brainless idea of saving money.

"What to do? Time machine, ah yes, I heard that getting into the toilet can turn back time, so try it quickly. My mind was blank in an instant, and I wanted to flush into the toilet and drill the toilet, but when I rushed in, I still tried to regain my composure, and said to myself: "I, Guan Yu, at least I am still the descendant of the second master, how can I be so timid, haven't I always wanted to be a hero?" And why don't you save Xiaoxi? No, I have to do something, how can I survive the apocalypse with cowardice. ”

I cheered myself up, increased my courage, remembered that I still have two "Sword Art Online" in Kirito's two swords, don't underestimate these two swords, this is not the kind of blunt weapon bought online, but I specially asked a swordsmith to help me use the best steel cast two swords, I tried, although it can't be regarded as sharpening iron like clay, but it is really sharp, I think this one cost a crazy money, I squeezed my teeth and begged grandpa to ask grandma to build, I didn't expect to use it one day.