After reading it, Lin Ming pondered for a moment and commented: "The writing is very wonderful, but there are still a few hard flaws. ”

"You say."

"One, I don't really understand, since everyone in the village knows what kind of person Lin Xiaoming is, why did everyone finally alienate him and stop associating with him at the end of the story? If you knew from the beginning that a person was hypocritical, would you still associate with him? This needs to be changed because it is not true. ”

The first content of the story is written like this, Erxi's son married a wife, and Lin Xiaoming brought two catties of pig's head meat to the door for a wedding banquet. Because of the face of the villagers, Erxi let him in. Halfway through the banquet, Erxi's house suddenly caught fire, and everyone who ate the banquet came to extinguish the fire, but Lin Xiaoming disappeared.

The next day, Lin Xiaoming came to the door and said to Erxi, oops, I drank too much yesterday and fell drunk on the side of the road. There's no way to help put out the fire, and the next time you encounter something, you will call my brother, and my brother will definitely come to help. But everyone in the village actually knew that Lin Xiaoming was very good at drinking, and he wasn't drunk at all yesterday.

In the first story, it is almost clear that Lin Xiaoming is a very hypocritical person, and then talking about Lin Xiaoming's true character later, it is obviously a snake to add to it. Because it has been completely pointed out above, there is no feeling of unveiling the suspense step by step.

It's like a homicide case that clearly tells you who the murderer is. But you still have to uncover his crime step by step, and then catch this person, it becomes a matter of starvation, which is a problem in the order of structure.

"Second, this story of drinking friends is also telling people the true face of Lin Xiaoming. This is the kind of person who people don't know what kind of person he is, and the second story is to make people's beliefs that he is a good person become suspicious. But the first story already shows that people already know that he is a hypocritical liar, so why should this story be placed after the first story? I think other people's articles are all step by step, putting the truth to the end. Yours is doing the opposite, telling people that this person is not good at the beginning, and then saying how he went from good to bad, which is a bit anti-object-oriented. It's not appropriate. ”

The second story is more interesting, Lin Xiaoming has a very important drinking friend, usually Lin Xiaoming is very poor and can't afford to buy wine, this drinking friend often invites him to drink, and the two have a very good relationship. That drinking friend also thought that he had a very good relationship with Lin Xiaoming and was his best friend. But when this drinking friend encountered difficulties and wanted to find Miss Lin for help, he couldn't find anyone else at all. The content of the story is basically like this, one day the drinking friend went to the next village to visit the door, on the way back, suddenly met the enemy, the enemy shouted a few people to chase him, all the way to the door of Lin Xiaoming's house at the entrance of the village, and the drinking friend came to Lin Xiaoming's house to knock on the door for help.

Lin Xiaoming was originally at home, but when he saw everything outside, he immediately hid tightly and hid in the room without making a sound, causing his friend to be beaten up. The next day I ran to the door and said, "You should run to the village, I was working in the fields at the time, and I didn't know about it, otherwise I would have helped you beat them."

But some people in the village saw that Lin Xiaoming was at home before and did not work in the fields, which made drinking friends become alienated from Lin Xiaoming.

In the second story, neither the drinking friends nor the people in the village knew Lin Xiaoming's true face, but from this story to the third story, people had doubts about Lin Xiaoming.

The structure of the story should be like this, first the people in the village trust Lin Xiaoming to be a good person, and then because of a series of things, the people in the village are suspicious of him, and then after a series of things, everyone knows Lin Xiaoming's true face, and since then everyone has gradually alienated him, and finally died alone.

To put it simply, the normal story structure should look like this. Trust – suspicion – truth – alienation. And in Su Wenqi's writing, it becomes truth-trust-suspicion-alienation. The order of the first three is reversed.

In terms of language, Su Wenqi's mistake is called logical confusion. There is nothing to say about the writing and content, but the structure and order are deviated, which makes it awkward for readers to read.

Lin Ming told Su Wenqi in detail about the problem of logical confusion, and Su Wenqi said: "I understand, you mean to put the second and third stories in front." The first story is placed after the third story, and then the ending is added. The order is fine, right? ”

"That's pretty much it."

Lin Ming said: "But this is not a problem with the story, it is that you have made a mistake in the order inside, you should write in the first story, it should be written that people don't know what kind of person Lin Xiaoming is, and then according to the development of the storyline, if you continue to write like this, then the order will not be wrong." ”

"Okay, I'll change it now." Su Wenqi is a person of action, and immediately started to change it.

Lin Ming had nothing to do, so he picked up a budding magazine and looked at it. Su Wenqi has to buy more than a dozen copies to carry with her every time, except that the manuscripts of Sprout Magazine are placed on the last page of each magazine, and you need to buy many magazines to submit many manuscripts. It is also a good habit to watch other people's works and learn from other people's talents.

At least Su Wenqi's writing has risen sharply recently, and it is not without reason.

While revising the manuscript, Su Wenqi saw Lin Ming reading the magazine, and said casually: "Lin Ming, I see that the theories you say are very powerful." I just don't know how your pen is doing, how is it, you also write a story? Let's compare who can pass the audition? ”

"You want me to write a story? I taught you all the level of literature, and you still want to test me? ”

"That's different. The lip service is great, but the actual level is uncertain. Zhao Kuo talked about the soldiers on paper, and even his father, the famous general Zhao Hao, was bluffed and stunned, is it not a dead end to go to the battlefield? No matter how powerful the theoretical knowledge is, without a practical level, it is at best just a straw bag pillow. ”

Su Wenqi had some sarcasm on her face.

For so many days, Lin Ming's level of mouth was indeed not very bad. At least with his help, Su Wenqi's literary level has improved a lot. But she was just angry that she was used by Lin Ming that day, and when she saw Lin Ming so leisurely, she couldn't help but want to sneer at this evil breath.

If Lin Ming doesn't compete, then the feeling is good, even if it is a slap in the face. It doesn't matter if you participate in the competition, because it is more interesting if you fall off the list, it means that it is not Lin Ming's credit at all these days, or that he is smart and clever.

When the time comes, you can point to his nose openly and say.

You Lin Ming?

What are the skills to teach yourself?

The apprentice passed the audition, but you died on the road as a master.

Isn't that hilarious?

When the time comes, he will be angry with some vicious words, and take revenge on Lin Ming's careful tricks that day, which will definitely make him feel a little more comfortable.

Miss Su never holds any grudges, because revenge is quickly avenged.

Lin Ming groaned: "There is a little truth in what you said, okay, in order to prove that I am qualified to teach you the level of literature, I will also write a copy." ”

Su Wenqi wanted to win by quantity, so she bought a lot of magazines, just for the submission paper on the last page of each magazine. So when writing manuscripts, he usually brings a lot of magazines with him, so Lin Ming borrowed one casually, directly took off the last page of the submission paper, and prepared to write it on the spot.

"Eh, you just wrote it on the pitch sheet? Don't do drafts or anything? Su Wenqi saw that Lin Ming directly took out the pen, and was about to start practicing, so he hurriedly stopped: "Self-confidence is a good thing, but overconfidence is conceit, be careful of capsizing." ”

"I can't turn it over." Lin Ming nodded his head with a smile: "Everything is in this, if you don't have any real skills, how dare you teach literature?" ”

Lin Ming remembered Wang Shuran, the teacher who taught him drama in the first half of his senior year in September 2003, when he was studying choreography and directing in the capital.

This teacher is not simple, in 97 years he was admitted to the military art with the second grade in the country, and stayed in school to teach after graduation. By the year he taught Lin Ming, he was already a captain and company commander, and although he was a literary soldier, his foundation and ability were quite strong. By the time he was 16 years old, he became the youngest head of the department under the then dean of military arts, and his future was immeasurable.

Wang Shuran was only 26 years old when he taught him opera, he was very beautiful, with a pure natural face with a pointed chin and melon seeds, coupled with a unique teaching method, which left a deep impression on Lin Ming.

She said that writing a story is actually a hypocritical process. People never care if the story you write is close to life, and they never care if it's something in your life. Because you live every day of your life, and you live a dull and unremarkable life, anything you write is like a running account, so people don't have any desire to read it. The story should have the appearance of a story, and it is easier to buy a diary and write a diary every day. Therefore, if you want to write a good story, you have to give full play to your imagination, keep pretentious and hypocritical, and make your story full of twists and turns, full of imagination.

This kind of imagination is not a rambling thought, but an article that should have a mind and a soul. It doesn't matter if you're writing some pretentious writing, or a critique and exploration of reality and idealism. You have to write out the central idea and form a topic for the article.

It is also commonly known as the deduction of the topic.

Su Wenqi found this point very well. Lin Xiaoming in "Enthusiastic Man" is a person who is enthusiastic on the surface, but is actually very selfish and hypocritical in his heart. This is typical, clarifying a thematic idea and capturing the point that the audience wants.

When such a story is written, it is educational.

If Lin Ming just relied on the writing accumulated in his previous life, he would write an article full of flowers and gorgeous rhetoric. This is not difficult, but to write something that is pretentious, has connotation and thought, it is quite a test of kung fu.

Although I want to write immediately, if I want to pass the audition, I still have to come up with a little real level.

At first, Lin Ming wanted to copy.

At the recommendation of Wang Shuran, Lin Ming read a lot of pretentious prose. One of his personal favorites and admires is Zhang Weiwei's summer that year, and he has read his style many times in his previous life, and it is definitely not a big problem to copy it. But Lin Ming thought about it for a while, then shook his head and gave up this idea.

This life seems to be very long, but it is actually very short. If you can't make a little contribution to the country, then you should leave something of your own in this world, leave a little trace of you, and at least tell the world that you have been here.

Copying seems to be a beautiful and effortless thing to do. Especially if it happens to the reborn, because before this thing comes out, you "copy" it, then it becomes your original.

But.

So what?

It's not yours, it's not yours after all.

What is copied can deceive the good and poor public. But he can't deceive his heart.

After all, it's just self-deception.

Lin Ming didn't believe it.

After studying choreography and directing all his life, he has gone through nearly half his life, and he has not even a trace of his own life insight.

I have written countless film reviews that amazed the teacher, and it took me 5 minutes to come up with a short film script, and I was praised by the director as the best student this year, but I couldn't write a story of my own.

How can such a person have ten thousand words in his heart, but not a single word in his pen.

Lin Ming's hand hung on the paper, but in his mind, he suddenly remembered a story that his father had read and told him.