What is the meaning of survival?

Living to achieve your dreams? Living to protect others? Living to find true love? Living to achieve a wealth plan? Or is it just to live for the sake of living, just making a living every day, and getting by?

For many adults, alternatively, any of the above can be a good reason. This question can make them reflect on their lives from time to time, and even take it out after tea and dinner as a conversation with friends, but in general, it is also irrelevant to their lives, because their lives have a certain law and rudimentary shape, if there is no accident, most people will not usher in change, let alone take the initiative to destroy everything now.

However, for the young "self", this is not the case at all.

Why he wants to live may be an after-dinner philosophical question for others, but for him it is a very important question about whether and how he will live in the future.

It was once said that people can sigh only because they have a safe distance from what they are sighing about.

Seeing others fall out of love, feeling pitiful, maybe there will be a mood to give a poem to a friend, but if it is his own lovelorn, all his mind has already been put into crying and weeping, in that moment, how can there be the leisure and leisure of chanting poetry?

This is the state in which "I" am now.

I can't remember how long I've lived, maybe three to four years, right? It's also the limit to be able to figure out the age of the memory from the vague fragments, and what more can a four-year-old child ask for for a young sensible child?

In the haze, he always felt as if someone was taking care of him before, but after a certain day, the person suddenly disappeared.

At first, I thought that the other party would come back and stay in the house alone, and the sunrise and sunset had nothing to do with me. As the days passed, when I was hungry, I would find something to eat in the house. Who owns the house? I don't know, I think I've lived here since I can remember, but I can't tell why.

After a while, the house with only "oneself" is still the only one.

"Where did the guy who took care of you in memory go?"

I don't know

"What does that guy look like?"

I don't remember too clearly

"Or maybe you ask someone else? Maybe someone will know about that person. ”

Well

Finally, I couldn't hold it anymore and walked out of the empty house.

In the process of searching for the disappeared person, I can vaguely remember that many, many friendly people came to ask him all kinds of questions, but the friendly person finally either smiled and patted him on the shoulder, or cast a pitiful look at him and sighed, and finally left without exception.

These were passers-by, and by the time they noticed, he was already alone.

The world is so big, it seems that there are endless roads, endless scenery, and countless houses are located in different places, but each place is so strange to him, and all places are not his place to return.

"Myself" didn't know the way, and as I walked, I forgot how to get back to the house.

"I" seem to be on a road in the countryside, and on both sides of the road are golden farmland, with some very tall plants, but why do I know that the road is called "road", the farmland is called "farmland", and these things that grow taller than me are called "plants"?

I don't know

Feeling, as if someone had mentioned to him a long time ago who that person was? When was that? Why would the other party bring up such a thing?

Still don't know

"Yourself" seems to have something called "common sense", but it is not complete, there are some things that he knows, he knows somehow, and there are other things that he does not know, even if it may be just the basic of the basics for others.

than this

Who are you?

Here and there?

The world is so big, but it seems that there is no place for oneself.

There are so many human beings, but there seems to be no one who can have anything to do with him.

Finally, "myself" suddenly figured it out.

The so-called orphans in the world are talking about people like themselves, right?

I didn't seem to know that I had heard of the so-called orphans there, and they were abandoned because they did bad things.

What bad things did you do? I really don't know, but from the fact that I was abandoned by others, I must have done something very bad when I didn't know, right?

Are you a bad person? Probably no, or should I say, definitely so. Otherwise, how could he suddenly be left alone?

What does it mean to be a "bad guy"? It's not clear, but in general, it means that something bad was done, right? I have done something bad, so I am a "bad person", because I am a "bad person", so others will abandon me, well, that's the case.

So, here's the problem.

As a "bad person", what should I do in the future?

Of course, "bad people" want to do "bad things", but not only do they not want to do "bad things", but in the end, they don't even know what the specific content of "bad things" is

I don't know what to do next, in the final analysis, since no one in the world needs him, and he is a "bad person", why was he born in this world?

I really don't understand

Walking aimlessly on the road in the countryside, time passed minute by minute

Eventually, at the location where he didn't know the way, "himself" met them, two girls who also had blonde hair and looked not much older than him.

"Himself" doesn't know what "cute" or "pretty" is, but if he talks about cuteness and pretty, it must be the words to describe the two girls in front of him, right?

"Little children? Alone? Why are you here?"

That's a nice sound. Although the voice seems a little cold at first glance, for some reason you can hear the gentleness in the tone. Under the gaze of the girl on the left, "I" nodded, and then shook his head again.

"I'm here by myself, but I don't know why I'm here?" The girl with straight hair on the left frowned slightly, although she frowned the same way, but she didn't have the impatience between the eyebrows of those "friendly people" in the past.

At this time, the blonde girl with a single ponytail tied on her right side walked a few steps forward, slightly bent her knees and half-knelt on the ground, kept her gaze at the level of "herself's" eyes, took "herself" hand and asked, "Little sister, are you lost with your family?" What's your name?"

"I don't have a name, I'm not a little sister, I'm a boy." Shaking his head slightly, "myself" finally spoke.

To be precise, "I" didn't know the difference between a boy and a girl, but somehow, "I" knew that I was a boy, and my intuition told him that the two in front of him were girls and not boys.

"Where's your family?"

"What is family?"

"Well, it means the person who stays by your side all the time, takes care of you and accompanies you."

"I" tilted his head and thought for a moment, then replied, "I have been staying in the house, and suddenly one day my family is gone." I waited a long time and couldn't see my "family", so I opened the door and walked, and when I came back to my senses, I was already here. ”

"Well, it's not easy." This time, it was the turn of the girl with a single ponytail to frown slightly, "Woo, little brother, how long does it mean?" One day? Two days?"

"How do you know if it's a day or two?"

"You look at the sun overhead, and if it goes down and rises again, it's a day."

"Oh, I see." "Myself" nodded abruptly, stretched out his hand and counted for a moment, and then replied, "Although I didn't pay attention to it, I seem to have seen the sun rise about fifteen times when I was in the house, that is, fifteen days?"

"Fifteen?!! Isn't this half a month?" For some reason, the blonde girl with a single ponytail seemed to be surprised, turned her head to the long-haired girl on the left and asked, "Azusa, what do you think?"

"It's unreasonable to say that it's overtime. No one in this world will leave a child at home for half a month. Abandoning the child, or having an accident outside, are the only possibilities. ”

"Do you think it will be?"

"Attacked by an alien creature? Since there is a precedent from your side, although it is not certain, of course it is possible. ”

"Really?"

Hearing the answer of the girl with long straight hair, the girl with a single ponytail turned her head to look at "herself" again, with a little pity in her eyes.

"Myself" can vaguely remember that this is the look that those "friendly people" will inevitably show before turning away.

Next, the girl will probably reach out and pat him on the shoulder, say some encouraging words to him, and finally leave him, right?

"Hey, little brother"

Sure enough, after standing up, the single-ponytail girl stretched out a hand to "herself", "Do you want to come with us?"

"Huh?"

What did she just say?

Hearing the question of the girl with a single ponytail, "I" was stunned for a moment.

It's weird

According to normal development, shouldn't this girl pat him on the shoulder and then turn away?

Why did she reach out to herself, but never take it back?

It's really incomprehensible, but, for some reason, a feeling of comfort emerges in my heart. It's very warm, and people are reluctant to let go.

His intuition told him that if it was the two people in front of him, maybe he wouldn't be his passerby?

"What's that look like? Is my face so weird? Or are you unwilling to follow us?"

Hearing the question of the single-ponytail girl, "I" shook his head in a panic and held the hand of the single-ponytail girl tightly. The hand holding the other person's hand is so hard that as long as he lets go, the other person will leave him

The action of "herself" caused a chuckle from the girl with a single ponytail, and the girl with a single ponytail immediately turned around and asked, "Is it okay?"

"Even if I say no, you won't say yes, right? Forget it, you are not the only one who feels sympathy. With a look of helplessness on his face, he sighed softly, and the long-haired girl walked up to "herself" and took his other hand, "Let's go!" Don't stay any longer, let's go home now. ”

The two girls have their backs to the sun.

The afternoon sun was shining before sunset, and the golden sun was shining on the ground, and the dazzling blonde hair shone in the sun, so that you could barely open your eyes.

Yet, despite this, "I" did my best to open my eyes, just to engrave the scene in front of me in my mind.

It was a scene that will never be forgotten.

Although it is still childish, but it is already so beautiful that people can't take their eyes off the two faces, with a smile that warms people's hearts, showing a smile without any impurities.

A smiling face that shines like the sun

It seems to have a thousand rays of light, dispelling the original uneasiness and confusion in my heart.

Even though his memories may fade with the years, he can be sure that only the two smiling faces in front of him that have redeemed him are the things he will never forget in his life.

Who the hell are you? What exactly is the meaning of existence? None of this matters anymore, "himself" has found the direction of his existence.

Only the two smiling faces in front of me must not disappear.

Even if he wants to give up everything he has, for the rest of his life, he must protect these two girls who have redeemed him, this is the oath he made to himself.

Ahahahaha, I'm finally here, I'm so impressed~

The timeline of this book is not exactly sequential, as I said before. Basically, it starts with the protagonist in the middle of the period.,After laying out the general world view of the story.,And then turn back to the beginning of the protagonist's youth.,That is,These two volumes from now on are not memories!! It's not a memory chapter, but a past chapter!! This should be clearly distinguished.

One of the most important aspects of the world in this book is that many of the settings in the world in this book are relatively new. Whether it is the establishment of the mythical system, or even the pattern and system of the existing society, the system of the military department, all of them are more or less related to the protagonist. If you have a strong memory and a careful mind, you should have noticed that this is the reason why I always emphasize words such as "how many generations" and "how many years ago" when I talk about the setting in the first volume. Due to the foreshadowing of the protagonist's exploits and a brief description of the protagonist's growth path, the volume was unexpectedly long (originally I only budgeted for about 100,000 words, but the second budget was 130,000 words, and the final result was 200,000 words).

Here's a quick overview.

To put it simply, after reading the first paper, you can basically guess or affirm

One: The development of the protagonist's emotional line in the past chapter (the result has been said in the prologue)

Two: The general growth path of the protagonist in combat and some of the skills learned (I don't think I need to say where it is involved)

3. Some of the protagonist's interpersonal relationships (such as teachers and friends and some juniors)

Four: Some of the major events of the protagonist in the past (including the two main reasons for his retirement and the reason for entering the house)

Five: Some of the daily and growing events of the protagonist in the past (basically the words that mention memories/nostalgia are related)

Six: The ending of the past chapter (continuation of the beginning of volume 1)

In addition to the battles and daily life, the emotional line and the friendship line, the growth and life events, what other events are there as a story? Don't talk about the main line, because the main line is opposite to the branch line and not the daily one, the daily plot can also be the main line, the main plot is not necessarily all battles, as long as there is a plot that has nothing to do with the development of the story can be called a branch line, so the branch line and the main line are not one of the classifications.

In short, according to the budget when I designed the plot, I should have been able to know/guess at least half of the plot in the past by now, and of course it's okay not to guess, just know that there is a connection.

P.S.1: Thank you for the tip.