Put it down?

How to put it?

I bent over and stood there until my fingertips touched the box, and the numb and crispy electricity seemed to swim down my fingertips, frowning slightly, and after picking up the box, I raised my feet and walked to the bathroom—

in the mirror.

I quietly looked at my pale face, not understanding why I wanted to look in the mirror, faintly, as if there was some hint telling me that looking at myself, there would be an answer.

My eyes were still very blank, I put the box on the sink, raised my arm, and gently touched my face in the mirror with my fingertips, in a trance, the scene changed completely, through the mirror, I saw a mountain cliff, the pines and cypresses around me were straight, snow-capped, very natural, just to see the familiar hole, there seemed to be a north wind whistling in my ears, the loose snow trembled gently, and the ice crystals floated with the wind-

I watched steadily, until the white fox slowly paced out of the hole, and stood on the edge of the cliff with round eyes full of sorrow and looked into the distance......

"It's ...... me"

I muttered softly, tears rolling down my cheeks, and the gale in the mirror seemed to sweep across my cheeks, hot and cold, and then, only cold......

The little white fox stared at the wind and snow for a long time, and something called longing was like a sharpened spear, which seemed to pierce through the thick ice and reach a warmth that could never be touched somewhere.

I looked at the white fox, like looking at the moon in the water, watching the clouds roll up, the flowers blooming and falling, and I saw ten thousand years.

I don't know how long it took, the snow covered its hair has become thicker, I saw it turn its head faintly, the black but dull eyes followed the mirror and looked directly at me, we seemed to be thousands of miles apart, but the two hearts experienced the same cold at this time, why is it so cold?

It's snow, it's people, it's missing, it's creation, it's love.

In an instant, I saw in its eyes a shiny liquid, a round and transparent granular liquid, crystalline, flowing out of its eyes—

The mouth deflated for no reason, I inhaled vigorously, tears in my eyes and my hand was still attached to the mirror, it was still looking at me, the same thing as mine rolled down in its eyes, but the pointed and bulging mouth smiled.

That's right, it's laughter.

It's a very poignant look.

I sighed, watching it smile with tears, the desolation under the eyes gradually became free, even if it was still surrounded by heavy snow, but its tearful eyes gradually smiled easily, laughing comfortably, even if it still trembled with tears, but what was expressed, I understood.

"Everything that looks like is a vain ......"

I whispered to it in the mirror in a thick nasal voice, "If you see things that are not the same, you will see them as they are." ”

Everything in the world is an appearance, a delusion, an illusion, and a delusion......

To be enlightened is to see clearly the disturbing minds that are entangled in oneself, to be clear about the self-disturbance behind the causes, and to know the origin of all this suffering......

It nodded gently, laughing nothing, its little head slowly turned back, facing the cliff, only to feel the cold wind, and it jumped!

"Hey!!"

I stretched out my hand to the mirror in horror, but the 'snap' only hit the mirror, and my lips trembled.

It's to let go, it's to let go completely.

Only then can it be regarded as completely relaxed, detached.

I am this fox, for love, for love, but how can heaven tolerate people and animals?

Knowing that I can't do anything but still insisting on going my own way, it was my delusion that gave me the opportunity to be reincarnated, and it was also its delusion that allowed me and Lu Er to meet early.

Therefore, it wants to let go, let go of its own delusions, and let go of the evil fate that has been cultivated for thousands of years?

I held the mirror and looked up, my eyes were full of tears, but my heart was extremely relaxed, let go, yes, if everything has an end, it is not a good thing, I am it, it is also me, what I want to do is to end this endless attachment, karma, there should always be a break.

……

After a long time, I took off my clothes and took a shower, drenched in warm liquid, but my mind was clear and clear, I was always very afraid before, always afraid that I couldn't control it, I was anxious to grab everything, it seemed that I always used too much force, anxious, to prove myself to everyone.

I took a deep breath, stretched out my hand, the water was left between my fingers, no matter how hard I tried, my palm couldn't hold a slight, because I couldn't grasp it, so I was too anxious, every time, I always didn't understand, and I went with the flow......

It's yours, it's yours after all, it's not yours, you can't keep it.

Only by letting go is the real liberation, the little white fox needs to be liberated, and it also needs me, so that it can be completely liberated.

Realizing this, I suddenly felt extremely relaxed.

I cleaned myself up very carefully, and raised my head after going downstairs, this sun is so bright, little King Kong 'Wang'~ ran to my feet, I squatted down and touched its head, and smiled lightly at the corner of my mouth, "Why are you so fat, huh?" ”

Uncle Xu was still busy working on the flower seedlings in the corner, and when he saw me, he got up and walked over, "Bao Si, Mr. Lu said that you should remember to go to eat first when you get up." ”

I nodded my head, "Okay, I'll eat in a moment." ”

Uncle Xu looked at me and was still a little stunned, "Baosi, you ......"

"What's wrong?"

Uncle Xu shook his head, "You haven't laughed for a long time, are you happy today?" ”

I looked at him with my lips raised, "Uncle Xu, I want to learn to dance, can you help me get a teacher over." ”

"Dancing?"

Uncle Xu was stunned for a moment and nodded, "Of course there is no problem, Mr. Lu said, you can do whatever you like as long as you don't go out, so what kind of dance do you want to learn, is it a folk dance, or a street dance that young people like now, that ......"

"Modern Dance."

I rubbed Xiao King Kong's head and let it play by itself, got up and looked at Uncle Xu, "Modern dance is fine, you can help me find a teacher, you need to talk less." ”

Although Uncle Xu was puzzled, he still nodded, "Understood, I'll call now to make arrangements." ”

"Okay."

I watched Uncle Xu walk away, went back to the restaurant to eat, and when I took out my mobile phone, there was a message from Shen Mingya, "Lu Er's grandfather is here, we will have dinner with Fei Fei tonight to discuss marriage, do you want to come and have a good time?" ’

After a glance, he threw it aside and didn't reply.

As soon as the meal was finished, Uncle Xu came in, "Bao Si, I have contacted the dance teacher for you, and someone will come over tomorrow, and the one I ask for a little older is a teacher from a professional dance academy." ”

"Okay, thank you, Uncle Xu."

Uncle Xu nodded and was about to go out, but stopped looking at my mobile phone, "By the way, Bao Si, Mr. Lu said that he would come back later tonight, saying that he didn't have to wait for him to eat." ”

I hummed, putting away the dishes, "I see." ”

Uncle Xu was completely confused by my reaction, "Bao Si, did Mr. Lu call you and tell me the reason why he didn't come back, I ......?"

"It's okay Uncle Xu."

I looked back at him and smiled, "He's been very busy lately, I understand, hey, are you going to fertilize the seedlings in the afternoon?" Let's do it together! ”

Uncle Xu shook his head, "Now that the seedlings are slow, there is no need to fertilize, just give the seedlings time to adapt to the environment, but there are some flower seedlings in the flower room that can be fertilized, and they will bloom in winter." ”

I hummed, "Okay, then I'll take care of the flower room, I'll go in the afternoon if I'm fine." ”

Uncle Xu was still stunned, "You won't go running on the machine." ”

"No!"

I laughed, "It's tiring, how nice it would be to do what you like to do." ”

"yes."

Uncle Xu finally nodded comfortably when he saw me like this, "I'm relieved that you can think so, then I'll go and get busy first." ”

I didn't talk much, I simply cleaned up and took my mobile phone upstairs, nestled on the bed and called my second uncle, listening to the sound of the toast over there, I couldn't help laughing, "Second uncle, what are we busy with over there!" ”

"The three fats will get married tomorrow, and today they have been eating the banquet, the flowing water banquet, everyone in the village is here, everyone is drinking!"

I laughed twice, "Whose daughter did the three fat marry?" ”

"It's the ...... of the blind date with the six sons"

The second uncle was a little drunk, "What nickname did he give him?" ”

"Big moon cakes."

I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt, and my second uncle was also laughing over there, "It's not!" It's quite worthy of the three fat, neither of them is thin, Fuxiang! ”

"That's right, Sibao, these three fat thank you, if it weren't for your lice tail, the reputation of the three fat wouldn't be able to be washed away, and now no one in the village dares to say that the three fat men don't look like a man!"

I don't know if it's the reason for drinking, the second uncle is very talkative, "The big guy asked me just now, why did you come back before, I'm waiting for you to come back to see what happened!" ”

I bit my lip and walked to the balcony, "I'll go back when I have time, what about the second aunt, is she also eating there?" ”

"Where is it, chatting with a group of women, just complimenting you, didn't you live there for a while, came back and said that it was the palace, and she took a bunch of photos on her mobile phone, who to show to whom, this village is not envious of our family!"

The second uncle lowered his voice after talking for a long time, "But Sibao, your second aunt didn't talk to me about you in Xiaolu when she came back, just said that the two of you are decided, there are many things in our village now, and I can't get out, but what is the decision between you and Xiaolu, do the parents of both sides have to meet, this marriage or something, you can't discuss it and come again." ”

I tugged at the corners of my mouth, "Second uncle, this is not popular in the city now, we are all traveling to get married, Lu Er and I also plan to go around like Xiaoliu and his girlfriend, and take a look from country to country, young man, don't you always say that you have to broaden your horizons!" ”

The second uncle's voice paused on the other side of the phone, "You also have to travel." ”

"Well, with this plan, I want to go to many countries, and when the time comes, if I meet a church on the road, I will be married, anyway, don't worry about me, there's nothing going on in the village......"

"It's okay in the village, it's a good thing to have it, it's to build roads, a lot of people have occupied the land, okay, it's suddenly an outbreak, in fact, it hasn't built a long road, but it's a key project, and now there is a construction team in the village every day, and it's messy."

I sighed, didn't ask too much, thinking that I just had to diverge the previous conversation.

"Sibao, I'm just worried about you, so let's do it, whether you're traveling or what, when you go back to the village, remember to bring Xiao Lu back, I'll do it for you in the village, or Mingyue and I will go over after this while, let's have a meal together, the satin quilt that your aunt sewed for you, and some dowries prepared, I have to send them to you."

I smiled and agreed, "Okay, you drink less, don't drink too much, I still have something to do here, let's not talk about it yet!" ”

"Well, Sibao, it's going to be cold, add more clothes, don't catch a cold."

The second uncle instructed me to put down the phone again, and I exhaled into the disconnected phone screen, "My dowry, I will receive it." ”

One afternoon, I was busy working with Uncle Xu in the flower room, and he also found me a work clothes, and the two of us were in full swing, like two workers struggling on the front line of the flower garden.

Uncle Xu saw that I was in good spirits, and he said more, he talked about his marriage, said that his wife died of illness, and said how he came to work in the Lu family, and at the end, he said to me, "Bao Si, in this life, there is no hurdle that cannot be passed, are you right?" ”

I nodded, didn't respond much, went back to the bedroom to take a shower and change clothes, the phone kept buzzing, clicked on, it was a photo sent to me by Shen Mingya.

In a Chinese restaurant, there were her, Lu Pei, and an old man and that Sun Fei sitting together to eat, the old man and her were laughing, Sun Fei was bowing his head and full of shyness, while Lu Pei was expressionless, there was text behind the photo, only one sentence, 'Miss Xue, it's a pity that you don't come.'" ’

All four of them are in the camera, so this photo was taken by Aunt Gui?

I felt bored, I threw my hand aside, the lights were dimmed, I would still take the box, it didn't matter if I opened it or not, it was just a habitual action, after playing for a while, I turned my face to look at the corner of the balcony floor-to-ceiling curtains, "Little annoyance, are you there......"

No response.

I sighed, "You'll hear me, I know I'm sorry for many people, but the most guilty thing is you, my grandma, my grandmother, my uncle, I think I can apologize in person, but for you, I really can't help it......"

The corners of his lips were a little involved, "Don't blame me, this kind of stubbornness, I know that there must be a result after I understand it, otherwise, what I face is to continue to suffer, you will meet someone who is destined, perhaps, I will also see you, and when the time comes, I will apologize to you in person......"

Looking at the ceiling with a somewhat sloppy look, "I miss you so much......"